That is absolutely abhorrent! I'm trying to eat a chicken salad sandwich over here.
 

If I was walking down the street on a sunny day, minding my own business and maybe whistling a catchy tune, and Marisa Miller walked around a corner and bumped into me, looked me deep in the eyes and said, "Burnsy, I will give you one passionate night of unbridled lust and sex that will make you forget the Earth exists, but you have to chew off one of your own appendages" I wouldn't be able to speak because I'd already be on my second arm.
 

BCS- I don't know if you saw this amongst the MASS of votes for Death Tongue to take the weekly, but I saw Head Plant from "The Hott and the Head Plant" last Friday night in Detroit.

It was very exciting.

- Army of Douche-ness
 

BCS- I don't know if you saw this amongst the MASS of votes for Death Tongue to take the weekly, but I saw Head Plant from "The Hott and the Head Plant" last Friday night in Detroit.

It was very exciting.

- Army of Douche-ness
 

If I had my druthers, I'd bundle this douche with The Spin Doctors and every Geo Storm ever made, fill them with cement, and send them on their way to the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

I second Burnsy's comments. I actually have bite marks on my arm right now because I got so spun up I thought what he was saying was reality.
 

I hate the Spin Doctors so bad that it burns when I pee. I should probably get that looked at.
 

He probably has a white belt on, the douche.

-Jesse "The Douche" Ventura
 

I thought the website was What Would Total Douchebags Do. It makes sense when considering a person who hooks up with Marissa Miller would look like that.
 

Marisa Miller has a flawless body. it's perfect. Marisa makes Jessica Simpson look like Rosie O'Donnell. if you disagree with me, i will fight you.

that said, something must be wrong with her head. how else would you explain her being married to such a scrote?
 

Not a douche, but a nerdy nothing with MONEY.

They won't last, and I'm sure she dresses and styles him like a barbie doll.
 

@army dude that's awesome did you punch him
 

Yes, Dreyfus was creating the shape of a mound of poo, which is what this pouting angry twat is. He looks like my doctor. Who is also a twat.
This is the kind of douchebag who would wear his own band's t-shirt while performing for a crowd. He thinks he is very cool.

For the love of God when a pretty girl kisses you, you don't turn your cheek the other way and look all mad. What the fuck is wrong with this idiot?
Oh - I know - he doesn't want her lipstick to mess up his perfectly applied orange skin foundation and recycled greasy-spoon french-fry grease.
He is a tiny skinny loser who is trying to compensate for his poor stature and physique by wearing a pastel-pink over-sized t-shirt, a "mean" look and Viagra in his hair. His hair is the only thing that seems to be excited over this lovely blonde.
 

OMG. I thought I would put in this link before I gnawed both my arms off. This video is sans the douche, but the editor of the Swimsuit issue is a Man, baby, Yeah!! Oh, and the anchor hott is very. That accent melts me.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/sports/2008/02/13/intv.swimsuit.cover.girl.cnn
 

Marisa who? Ohhhhh! Marisa Miller eh whatever. He's gay so she must not like sex I would classify her Va jay jay as an accessory for looks only, hands off, no use for this chick sorry, whatever, step to the curb miss, nothing to see, keep moving, keep movin,g nothing to see, nothing to see...
 

what a needy f*cker
 

This shirt is a perfect example of why you shouldn't mix reds with your whites when doing your own laundry. I have no clue what his shirt says, but it should read "El Retardo".

Also, Morrissey thinks you look gay.

All douches have secrets and here is mine
so let it be known
for I wear jesus-bling through hell and high tide
And sometimes I smell like poo
And yet you start to recoil
(at my) Heavy gel, hair so lightly blown
I’d still leap infront of a dying bleeth for you

So what difference does it make?
So what difference does it make?
It makes none
But now you have bronzer
And you must be looking very Tangerine tonight

Oh the Devil will find work for idle ‘bags to do
I stole astro-glide just because you asked me to
But now you know the truth (I’m a douche)
You won’t point at my abs anymore
Well I’m still fond of tattoos
And Ho-hos
 

There is no God.
 

@Heino..nor is there justice in this world. Just ponderous.
 

I concur, ol' dirty. There is a cold bottle of Luksusova in my freezer that will temporarily erase that image, and it's only 3 1/2 hours away!
 

nice bag queen nice work indeed
 

She gave his hair a woody
 

@BCS- No, I didn't come anywhere near him or anything just watched him cruise around and giggled to myself.

I was so drunk I would have likely given him a hug or high five....or mentioned his posting on the site.

His hair was the same and his teeth were shining under the black lights.

I just enjoyed the moment.

Army of Douche-ness
 

Nice heino! I live on Luksusowa and blue bird grapefruit!

Can't quit thinking about that right now. That and the fact that Crusty is about to get into the hall. Thing I don't understand is why Pumpy's monkeyass isn't there yet.
 

Pumpy IS the Hall.
 

it looks like this guy fell out of the douche tree and hit every branch on the way down..what is this immaculate female specimen doing with such a poor excuse for an enzyme producer. His SS# should be revoked as a result of this picture..It says it right there in the 10th commandment, "thou shall not be a bag;" and since when is being gay cool? I thought that ended in the nineties; "hey, smirky jones, FYI: YOU ARE WEARING A PINK SHIRT YOU ASS SPELUNKER!!!"
 

swimsuit models are basically strippers with agents...anyone who knows what taste the still staright more or less strippers have in non-pay boyfriends should not be surprised...if you want to date a stripper quit your job, get a criminal record and max out some credit cards on questionable displays of wealth...become a douche in other words...
 

hahahahahaaaaa
i knew this pic looked familiar
it's TINTIN!!!
 

It looks like Ryan Reynolds got his head stuck in a minivan door
 

Before clicking, I thought the "WWTDD" link was going to send me to a new site, "WHAT WOULD THE DOUCHE DO?" But alas it was not to be. DB1, I think a second site is in order; here, you call them out, there it's more of sociological study. There are scenarios, then hypothesis about what the douche would do in certain instances.