Juan it totally ruining this picture.
Perrermint Pattie like in a sense.

I'd give pink hott a whirl though.
 

^^^that's Peppermint Pattie..... Pinks boobs distracted me.
 

Pink boobs ain't too bad, but her friend in the black bikini looks like she just entered a long-term relationship with her local meth dealer. She's going to go downhill fast, and she's already started.

What's up with Marissa's legs? It looks like they've been chopped off and then reattached. Pull up your damn shorts, asswipe. We don't need to see that.
 

the bastard sons of ed brimley are taking over...jersey douches beware...
wow black b cup has a tramp stamp that could mail 4 kilo's of cocaine from manuel noriega jr's
plantation in panama back up to him in schlock beach florida...these bleeths are i can't believe its not butterfaces
 

How did Tattoo grow so much? Maybe Sharky McDouche knew a guy that knew a guy that gave him magical blonde highlights.
 

er that would be ed grimley for those of you who prefer some small degree of accuracy in your pop culture references
 

I need a shower, delousing shampoo, and 5000mg of penicillin just LOOKING at these people. Oh, and the guy on the right - TOTAL FAG. He looks like the love child of Johnny Mathis and Hervé Villechaize.
 

David Alan Grier still knows how to 'keep it real.' And hiding his belly behind Ms. 1-800-4ESCORT is just plain savvy.

See you at the Oscars D.A.G.!
 

i think the guy to the left of this photo has the right idea. hit the pipe my friend. it'll make the pain of looking at these fucking losers go away.
 

The Marissa isn't worth commenting on. Mega Tramp Stamp looks like she would be the last Great Lay any man would ever attempt... prior to his genitals falling off from severe infection. Pinky looks like a girl you could take into the Catskills for a wonderous weekend of whoopie.
 

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The Marissa has his hand up Mega's skirt-like garment; or, he has it in Juan's hungry clasp. Pinky seems be be guarding against the same afront to her luscious caboose. Ah, to nuzzle those sweet curves while serenaded by Billy Joe Shaver elevating the mood. I've been to Georgia on a fast train. Fer sure.
 

It also appears that Juan and rib tattoo hot are stomach bumping ala Jack and Drunk from Will and Grace.

how do i remember this shit?

Army of Douche-ness.
 

won't anyone make a "ken doll" joke?! And the "anatomical correctness" there of !! Think of the children!
 

I'd like to take that faux hawk off Jethro's head with a fucking belt sander.
 

Plaid-boxers is the Pee-Wee Herman of douche. Could you lower your shorts a little more, because I can't see your entire cock. I bet his ass-crack is waxed too. For better gliding.
I like how the two on the viewer's right are have super-glued their genitals together.
Other than that, these folks look great and happy and warm, while I'm up to my tits in snow. Bastards.
 

I love how red shorts is using the girl to hide his gut.

he's been down this road before, I guess.
 

Juan is one mis-proportioned little piece of burnt bacon, isn't he? Seriously, he looks like he was assembled out of the left over parts at the Axe Douchefactory.

I bet he danced around flapping his arms up and down while screaming, "Eeeeeewwwwww" and jumped in the pool after this picture because Methela Crackerson had her chocha near his man-part.

Pink Flotation Device is about 3 years out from being able to eat 3 whole pizzas and needing an electric cart to get through Wal-Mart.

But, I'd certainly help her revel in the next 2 years. Well, at least for the next minute and 17 seconds as I furiously hump her armpit.
 

Nice roots, toots.

And PP has been cursed with the Paris Hilton Wonk Eye.

And right on, DB1. An extreme fauxhawk does not make one "punk". It makes one mock-worthy.

Juan = Fail
 

Pink chick looks like one of those uber-mega-bleeths on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Billy the retarded gardener burned off all his body hair trying to make meth out of Scott's fertilizer and a bottle of NyQuil. Black top skeezy skank (she truly is wretched) has a tasteful tramp-stamp of red shorts Juan coming back from Circle K with an armload of Slim Jims after a two week meth bender. Nice white watch and belt, flabalanche bag.
 

I'm gonna call 'em The Slowhawk and Gelled in Negative, flanked by (as scroter reffed) the Real Housewhores of Orange County.
Dood, step away from the body wax, thats for women. Did you actually pay someone to smear wax on your ikkle willie & danglys, LET them rip it off with all 12 pubic hairs....then look down and proclaim, "WOO! I'm SSSSSSSSMOKIN!!!"?!?!??!?!
So, for that alone, he is a douche. Oh. And for the plastic shorts. AAAAnd for how low they are. If yer trollin, I bet I can guess which sex will bite...
And David Apu Grier, trade girls with your brah, your Nottie makes you look fatter and he does same for his. And she's not smiling for you or the camera, she's smiling because she just got paged back by her crank dealer.
 

These chicks are beat...I've had sex with better looking prostitutes than these 2 DNA factories...I think the guy on the right handed me a towel in the men's room at Spark's Steakhouse the other day after I took a piss and then offered me a mint
 

Once they get the asylum bus uprighted and running, these candidates for a lobotomy will not be seen publicly again.
 

The Ho in pink is ok for under $5. but the Rooster should be pushed face first into the sand until only his hair is showing, giving the appearance of a sand shark on the prowl. Arrest the other two for being litter on the beach.
 

Ethnicbag looks like he wondered into this picture. DoucheHawk and the Bleethes should be drowned at high tide.
 

Is red shorts fag a Fez wannabe from the 70's Show?
For all that is holy people, this collection of bad DNA and old expired condems is why ball bats and ice picks need to be used more in everyday life. Holy shit there is no jury that could convict after seeing this pic.
 

I love the fact that the Deathtongue Hott has become a standard of measure. And no, these broads are not up to that standard. Really, if it wasn't for the bag, they wouldn't be here. I don't know which part of that equation bothers me more.

ACK THHFFPPPTT DEATHTOUNGUE HOTT DO YOUR DUTY
SLAM MY HEAD AND SHAKE YOUR BOOTY

/i will not let her go...
 

Sleestak looking mo-fo...

Is that a Lee Press-On Nipple?
 

Christ...the guy on the right has a Gary Coleman look about him...if Gary was close to 6 feet tall, that is. The old guy checking out his ass is just icing on the cake (look at the smile on him...someone loves him some chocolate lovin').

Does the Sleestak (nice call, DS) have some sort of body armor implanted just beneath his skin or something? That's some wicked definition on his lower torso...how the hell would someone be able to get that kind of toning?

Love the security guards/paramedics in the upper left corner of the pic (just to the left of pink's head)...they're the most dressed-up people here.