Bahahaha he's up for the hall of scrote for sure.
 

ahahahahahaha holy mother of god

this is the first truly great submission of the new year.
 

dude, that is just creepy. I mean, more so than usual. Holy shit.
 

Everyone wonders if there are life forms on other planets. Judging by this, there obviously are, and those life forms are quite douchey. And orange/red.
 

Wow. Melanoma, party of 1. Melanoma, party of 1. Your skin grafts are now available.
 

Uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck? It's Data from Star Trek meets Joey P and Vanilla Ice. Holy shit is all I can say.
DB1, we must have more of this guy. Moremoremoremoremoremore. Nightmares tonight for sure.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

are we sure this isn't corey haim from madame tussaud's wax museum? maybe it got slightly melted during transport?
 

He looks like the leader of one of those weird UFO cults. Pudding, anyone?
 

THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT! The freakin' android getting the lazy-eyed girl in a bear hug. Run, special girl, run.

I think his damn eyebrows are painted on since he has no hair on his arms.
 

Ed Hardy. Check.
Orange. Check
Tiny side boob. Check.
Grease. Check.
Windowpaign Head Carving. Check.

Millenium Bag, FTW!!!!
 

This is just a travesty.
 

Why would someone make a wax statue of a not-hot hott being embraced by her creepy, mid-life-crisis dad?

Did I stumble into BelowAverageChickswithWaxbags.com?
 

This guy's douche level is up by 1000 for shaving his arms. That isn't one of the usually mentioned criteria of doucheness, but it should be. You can add it to kissy face, shocker hand gesture, etc. Shaved arms.
 

Chrissake... what the fuck is going on here? I am not sure where to start with this one. Even if it was a costume party, no one should wear a tic-tac-toe pattern shaved into the side of his head. There is no reason for it. Unless you're a douche. In which case, it's a form of artistic expression and a way to attract mates. I don't understand though, the glistening sheen this guy has, the lack of real eyebrows - because those are just painted on - and the tomatoe hue with an unripe green patch on the top right. The rose lip-gloss... The Tin-tin Hershey's kiss hair... um... what are those white flecks in his hair? Anyone? Is that seagull shit? I am trying very hard to understand this one. I truly am.
 

Well, this is what happens when an emergency room doctor tells his dyslexic nurse to "Prick this boil".

(cue rim shot)



Sorry.
 

I went deep sea fishing in the Gulf of Mexico Saturday with a buddy on his boat and like a dumb ass I forgot to bring sunblock. I thought my head got sunburned pretty badly. I was wrong. My head is not badly sunburned.

This guy looks like he spent all day Saturday staring eagerly at a hot pocket through the door of a Mexican microwave oven whose timer was set on "Eternity". He looks like he spent hours headbutting an overstoked furnace. Or perhaps bobbing for tater tots in a vat of boiling peanut oil. Damn.

His arms are as hairless as a fetal pig's belly, his temple has the marks of an expertly grilled steak, and his head is covered by what I can only describe as bloody stool.

Also, Winona Judd called; she wants her eyeliner pencil back.

Worst of all: he exhibits on his jugular vein the Kiss of the Ghost Nipple.

His fiery visage has already given this poor girl a stroke, as evinced by her faraway gaze into oblivian.

I'm going home and smoking foam rubber through a PVC bong.
 

This cats face looks so tight its about to tear. Anybody ever see the show Today's Special? It is about this black lady who slinks around a department store late at night. She puts a hat on a mannaquin and it comes to life....his name was Jeff...This red snare drummed face douche looks like he could be Jeff the manaquin.
 

persimmon douche you need to make sure barbers don't play tic tac toe on your dome...i always wondered whay would happen if you left nair on overnight...not a bleeth but not a hott...sport utility vag
 

Domo-arigato Mr. Douche-boto!
 

We need to tell the government to stop shooting today's youth with the Retardo Beam. That hairstyle would make Chuck Norris look like Hard Gay.
 

I, Douchebag.
 

Leave this douchebag, honey; he's a hard boiled criminal.
 

Once again I implore, how the fuck do people get away with this?
 

Once again I implore, how the fuck do people get away with this?
 

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a Cock Lobster
 

WHAT THE F$#%K IS THIS?

I'm going to go shoot something in my backyard.
An old toaster or something. Yeah, an old toaster.
 

His hair is the yin to Gabehcuod's yang.And by yang I mean "Fuck Fish Slap"

He Is the model for the new Axe product "Sunburn In A Can" the TAG-line is Can't make it to the Jersey shore? just spray on Sunburn In A Can.
 

Wow, he looks like Max Headroom. Did I just show my age?
 

Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!

(breathe)

Bwhahahahahahahahhahahahah!

Plus, that little hint of green at the top right of his head makes him look like a Fuji apple.

TARMAL!
 

This guy just teamed with the Prompas to form the Orange Man Group. They're currently a big deal in Reno.
 

Wow. This is right up there with the Prompa! That is the reddest white guy I have ever seen in my life. The future of douchebaggery is here and it does not look good. I agree with the first post: HoS.
 

This reminds me that I need to wax my car.

I swear to god, I almost didn't think he was real. He's like a giant orange plastic Ken doll. And the pink lips... ewww. I think I own a lip gloss in that shade.
 

shocking. nothing clever to say. just shocked. need booze
 

Tic tac toe? Hollywood squares? What in the fuck are you going for with that hair bag? Is that even a bag? Looks like a fucking orange mannequin to me. Did he wax his face with a lava lamp before this pic?

What the hell? I'm very confused and I'm going home to drink and talk to my cats.
 

Knock knock, Johnny 5, orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Have you ever wished a real picture was photoshopped? I almost do, but this is proof. This is the Sarah Conner Chronicles. Get your robot insurance, the metal ones are coming.
 

Odds are high that after this picture was taken she had to go to the bathroom and peel off a patch of orange skin stuck to her temple.
 

Jesus. Now what I know what happens when some choad decides to go for the Gigolo Joe from A.I. look in real life.

If only I could un-see this.
 

Ever wondered if you're pussy-whipped, guys? Here's a useful heuristic: if you look in the mirror and see THAT... you're so willing to do anything for chicks, so whipped that even al-Qaida would convene a tribunal to discuss the philosophical ramifications of cruel and unusual punishment when it comes to flogging.
 

There is no way he is real. I can't look into his eyes, I feel I'll be taken into a demonic hell dimension.
 

Holy shit. Hard to know where to begin.

You know that saying, "There but for the grace of God go I?" Not true. There are no circumstances, graces or lack of graces that could cause any normal person to even envision looking like this. How fucked up would you have to be?

And how fucked up would Hott have to be to look at this dude and say, "Yeah, here's the one for me."

Unfuckingbelieveable.
 

Obviously, Carnival is in full swing and this questionable-gendered douchebag is missing the main parade in Paraguay.

That's the only explanation.
 

that is so photoshopped. i can spot a fake a mile away...it is funny though.
 

I was hoping our alien overlords would look a little more... macho. Perhaps my expectations were colored by Flyteeth's deranged ramblings... I was thinking more along the lines of Predator, not Prey. Sigourney Weaver would laugh in this guy's face.

Anon 4:51, I thought Photoshop too when I first saw this, but I'm horrible at guessing the 'shopped pic. What tips you off, specifically? Just curious...
 

I'm not thinking Photoschlepp, I'm thinking this:
Off-screen there is the lighting grip who is setting the lights for this "Glamour Shot" (read: money shot according to his hair), and it's his ex getting slimed by this douche...he carefully slides the cel over the overhead halogen right before the pic snaps....

I have a good friend that is a lighting grip, and if you've ever been to a concert and wondered why the lead singer's face turned blue for a sec, it was the lighting guys fucking around with a spot....happens quite often and is funny as hell....as you can see from this pic.
Of course that does not in any way explain the lack of hair on his arms, or the tattoo'd eyebrows, or the game on his temple...
HoS, Weekly, and YEARLY winner here!
 

Okay, no one has mentioned it, but I need some feedback. What, exactly, is going on with the corner of his mouth?

Does he have some of that fake lip plumper stuff going on? I try not to rip on girls on the site who aren't as hot as I would like, unless they're bleethed beyond recognition. But her sideboob is struggling. It looks like it has given up, layed down, and is ready to die. Chin up tiger, douches aren't forever.
 

When... uuh... what...... geez...
 

I also call Photoshop.

Check out the "green" part of his head, in the upper right. That's his normal skin color, that wasn't saturated red. Also, his arm has the look of heavily retouched porn pics, looks like it was made of wax (you all know what I'm talking about).
 

Fall before the glory that is jaundouche! We are in the presence of greatness.
 

he looks like the male version of my aunt susan who had a stroke . . . but wearing more makeup. he is gaudy earrings and a leopard print blouse away from making every family occasion awkward and asking me when i'm having children.

it is likely he drools as well.
 

Fuck me. This is one of those that I don't want to win anything. I just want it to go away.
 

Are we not douche?
 

Are we not douche?
 

@d. baggins - "going home to drink and talk to my cats." Jesus, man. Have you ever blown hot and sour soup out of your nose. Not cool, but very fuckin funny.
 

Looks like I got hit by the Retardo Beam the Baron was talking about.

There should be a question mark somewhere in my last post...
 

What the fuck.
 

yeah photoshop,
you can see by the hairline and the wierd bits around his mouth and neck.
it is diturbing. i wouldn't like to be stuck in a lift with that.
 

if there is any justice in this world he is a first ballot HOS
 

...And that, boys and girls, is why you should never stick your head into your mom's waffle iron.
 

@ douchebagski

Blow hot and sour soup out of your nose? Nope but I have blown clam chowder out of my skin flute on several occasions.

By the way I showed this pic to my cats and I haven't seen them since, I hope those bastards didn't head upstairs to shit in my shoes for scaring them again.
 

.....It's "Millennium," with two N's. I greatly respect the genius of the DB1; just looking out for him on this one. I was in the class of '00, and we misspelled our own homecoming float. I couldn't bear to see the nightmare happen all over again....
 

If it is photoshopped (and it's starting to look that way) someone has got a warpped view of the world. Or they just think the guy is a douchbag and decided to accentuate certain aspects of his scroteliness.
 

There are often pictures on this site that are fairly run of the mill. As "common" as these pictures are they prove to be fodder for our wit and satire. They sharpen our skills of mockery and ridicule, if you will.

Those pictures are only practice for this. Every once in a while, a 'bag of legendary status jumps into our simple site and the practice we've shared with those run of the mill douchebags is put to the test.

Photoshop or not, this guy deserves everything we can throw his way--the smirk, the vaguely receding hairline, the side of his face stuck onto the doe. Really, what part of him to you not want to smack?
 

Fixed the spelling, thanks Scaradouche. Stupid Night Train.

And it's not 'shopped, pic is from a European party site-

- DB1
 

I'm afraid for Vacant Stare. If she bumps his head a bit, it might spilt open like overripe fruit, saturating her with douche pulp. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find something to hit myself in the head with. Hopefully I'll incur enough brain damage that I'll forget I ever saw this, Photoshopped or not.
 

Jesus tits batman
this cunt-muffin is scary as shit
i wont be able to sleep for weeks
 

Bullshit. I call Photoshop. Nobody's this fuckin red/purple/orange. Nobody. Plus his damn face doesn't match his arms at all.
 

At least I know where Gigolo Joe went. Hopefully he won't last as long as Bicentennial Man; im sure even semiconductors have a douche limit
 

His very existence contradicts the first law of robotics. Asimov must be roling over in his grave.
 

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Euro-Douche, I see you well. I'll go by DB1's ruling of non-'Shop, like I said earlier. It's the lighting guy getting his own on this douche for fucks sake. You can see the green part of the club lights reflecting off her wiry hair and soon-to-be-shaking-with-sobs shoulder..
How do you go to a hair salon and ask for this 'do? AFTER going to the waxing salon and asking for the whole-body-treatment? And the next question, how do they keep a straight face? I mean, if I saw this, I would be texting everyone in my phonebook to come witness/take pics of the sheer audacity and cluelessness of it all! Hell, you can't even find this metro of a fag in the Castro! The sheen and the uber-gelled hair scream "I spent all night in the mushpot and all I got was hard hair and extremely glowing skin!"
As for flat-bleethe-next-door, she needs to unpeel her growth from the right side of her face and scrub that baby down with some bleach and some chlorine.And grow back some eyebrows. And choose a better man. He has less hair than her, and that just shouldn't be.
Something about the two of them scream "Dog Boy" from Liquid Television. Except for the grid. That's just completely unnecessary.
 

Millennium 'Bag is what happens when gay android cousins marry.

Am now off to gouge my eyes out with sharp rocks.
 

What a strange, waxy head. If I press my thumbs into his face, they will leave dents.
 

i woke up this morning hoping this thing was just some sort of hallucination i got yesterday as a result of too many antihistamines.

alas, this thing is real.
 

Squatch,
the reason I say photoshop is because I myself do photoshop for a graphics company and this is definately one of those. the face that the color is so orange...no one could find self tanner that horrid. but more because of his shiny hair and random shave pattern (douchebags take pride in their hair patterns...this is an ametuers work) and because I see orange coloring on his chain and shirt collar. hell, I could just be seeing things, but that's my call. besides, I think anyone with a face that orange would be dumb enough to have the arms to match. and I'm hoping, with all that is good and natural in the world, that a semi-hott chick like this would have the presence of mind to never be seen with a 'bag of this proportion.
 

@anon 4:52 --

Never say never, man. Living near a lakeshore resort area, I've seen worse, actually. Usually it's the trifecta of skin abuse: overuse of self-tanners, repeated use of cheap at-home sunlamps (that would explain the localized burn), and over-exposure to the sun without protection.

I would say it hurts to look at him, but I'm laughing too hard.
 

Euro 'bag huh?

'shop or no 'shop there are some sick people out there.
 

When I first glanced at this photo I thought whatever. Then, something in the back of my mind made me look closer. Unbelievable, so unbelievable in fact it can only imagine the photo has been photoshopped. But deep down, I know it hasn't.

DB1 might as well shut down the site. I don't think it's likely to get any worse than this animatronic gigolo (no Jude Law, you!). But I know it will.

God protect us.
 

Ein frieden mein skinnen, Fraulein. Sprokets es ein showzen favroiten.

Heil Cancer!

@ D. Baggins - hope you didn't get a squishy surprise when you put your shoes on this AM.
 

the best part of this pic is how over the top persimmon nair abuser
douche is and the chiaroscuro like
muted bleeth who is plain as jane can be...it brings his douche into sharp focus
 

speaking of sharp focus, this picture has absolutely been through Photoshop. it's been sharpened to the point of being able to pick out a pixel. the eyes are too perfectly white. check out his hair. those white flecks used to be light reflections from all the gel in his hair. but now, after sharpening the hell out of the original image, they appear like snowflakes.

i don't think any color levels were adjusted though. sadly, this douchebag is actually this color.

i can't look at this picture any longer. please DB1, please post another picture for us.
 

So THIS is what Tarmal is!!!!!Automatic Hall of Scrote for sure.This is some funny shit.Millennium 'Bag.If you don't know by now,you never will.
 

Photoshopped or not, can we PLEASE talk about the fem-brows???
 

@ d.baggins 8:33

Was is New England or Manhattan clam chowder? One is alright, the other means you got glass shards up your pee-pee hole from last night.
 

Lovechild of Tintin and Astroboy. Not quite human is he? nope...but there is something really wrong with this picture. When is the last time you saw an uber-ultra-super-duper douche like this one with a chick (hot or otherwise) who wasn't bleethed out to at least Stage 2? Were it not for the eyeliner, I might even say she was wholesome.
We need to get to the bottom of this, because there are only two explanations and both make my pubic hair stand on end:
1) The Grieco virus has mutated to the point where you can't tell an infected person just by looking at them. In other words, her soul has been Bleethed. yikes.
2) She's an assistant at an advanced robotics lab who fell in love with a prototype android, spirited him out of the facility and is currently trying to disguise him with cans of pearlescent tanning spray and trips to Gabehcuod's hairdresser.

and what the FUCK is that on his shirt? I'm thinking intestines covered with blood and semen but that maybe says more about me than I'd like. All i see on Rorschach tests are boobies.
 

(stunned silent)
 

I still say he's made of wax. No way in hell that's a real douche.

There is another option though....Real Dolls came out with a male version and this stupid chick bought the douchebag model.
 

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto"
 

He looks so ........... PLASTIC! Is this guy the spawn of 'Ken"? (of Barbie and Ken fame?) I bet his genitalia is nothing more than a "BUMP"!!!! "The Ken Bump" eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwe creepy!
 

every time i see this picture i think:

"what the hell is wrong with him?!"
 

Question: Doesn't that tanning spray cause Cancer? I thought that I heard that once. If so ..... this may be the agent used to ultimately cause douche extinction?

Ok, Consumer reports on Spray Tanning:
"DHA (dihydroxyacetone) gradually stains the dead cells in the skin's outer layer; the color develops within a day and lasts until the dead cells slough off. The more vigorously you wash, the faster the tan will fade."

So we can all assume that these guys don't wash much?????
 

Auton!! Auton!! Alert the Doctor!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nestene_Consciousness
 

'This guy looks like he spent all day Saturday staring eagerly at a hot pocket through the door of a Mexican microwave oven whose timer was set on "Eternity".'

Currently, this is perhaps the Funniest Sentence in the Universe (tm). Thanks!
 

All you assholes should be ashamed of yourselves for making fun of Johnny (now John) Hodgekins of Bagowog, Wisc., who was burned to a crisp over 97% of his body when he was 11-years-old while trying to mimmick a Jackass light-your-fart-on-fire stunt. (Don't try this at home stupidfucks.) After 106 excruciating skin graft operations and the patience of a plastic surgeon's abilities to carefully implant each hair follicle back into the sides of Johnny's scalp - well, until Doc finally just said fuck it and finished up by sewing a plastic cupie doll-like headpiece over the top of his head - John can now venture out into public with the help of lots of Max Factor foundation and pretty pink gloss slathered on his lips and that lumpy thing on the side of his neck. John's even scored Mary Jane, the pretty hermaphrodite from down the block.
Johnny's been through a lot, so just stop your scoffing, you wretched virgin bastards.
 

Either this is one of those clothing store mannequins being posed next to this girl, or there is no God.
 

When do we get to see this guy in a Duracell Battery commercial?
 

this cant be real
 

He's up for the HALL!

All Hail to the Martian!
 

If this is a Real Doll or not, this is still well worthy of the Hall of Scrote. My blacked out after seeing this picture to protect myself from the shock.
 

HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
HALL OF SCROTE!!
i think 8 is enough
 

It's Douche-Bot 3000. He is programmed to glow red and stun humans into incredulous stares of utter confusion. Beware the Douche-Bots.
 

Look Kids!!! It's Reddy Kilowatt!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8f/Reddy.gif
 

OK we'll we clearly have our HCWDB of the Year winner for '08 in February. That's that.
 

Um... not photoshopped. this is something people actually do. I have seen it too many times.

http://chompchomp.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/pic00236.thumbnail.jpg

http://chompchomp.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/pic27065.thumbnail.jpg
 

Um... not photoshopped. this is something people actually do. I have seen it too many times.

http://chompchomp.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/pic00236.thumbnail.jpg

http://chompchomp.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/pic27065.thumbnail.jpg
 

Jesus Christ someone tell him the tanning bed isn't a real bed, only a 15 minute nap :-)
 

Fuck Fish Slap. And what the hell is this? Astro Boy Douche? This picture has completely freaked me out. I can't stop looking. . . too fucked up. . . .
 

This pic turned up on Dlisted.com
It's their "caption this" pic of the day.
http://www.dlisted.com/
 

it Looks like he went tanning to long!! what a duche!!
 

kraftwerk?
 

C3PO mates with bob's big boy statue?

Hmmm...