I didn't know that Heather Mills was dating George Hamilton.
 

Meatloaf looks like he lost quite a bit of weight, huh?

No more bitch tits.
 

GODDAMN YOU, DOUCHEBAGSKI! I was just about to post that same message!

The only other person I can come up with is Dean Lewis, but anyone outside Dallas has no idea who he is. Hell, most people in Dallas don't know who he is - a severely overrated hack comic who's also on morning radio, for those who'd like to share in Dallas' collective private hell.
 

Hahaha. Sorry to snatch your thunder, heino. I was posting like a Bat out of Hell (part II).
 

Dear Douche,
If,by the grace of the Lord,
you read these comments on your
picture,
please,find a pencil
somewhere near by you,
grasp it in your right hand...
(I'll wait so you can complete
the first two steps...hurry)
Got it?
Now jam it in your right eye.
Thanks.
 

Alt. 1985 Biff says "Why don't you make like a douche and get outta here!"
 

@ All Your Douche (great handle, by the way):

No, that's Gary Busey with Heather Mills. And they're eating her rancid severed leg straight out o' the bucket.
 

Triple H is a douche in and out of the ring.

Blondes are really declining. Redheads and Brunettes are really stepping it up this month.
 

Nice that on Election Day I get to look at a douche from Arcadia's "So Red the Rose."
 

Did Biff just return from the future? or past?
 

Biff! Great call! Nice!
 

This is millionaire Biff, where he is Marty's step-dad (coincidentally, in the movie he's a douche in the hott-tub with two blondes).
 

Biff was sooooo 12:35. I just don't see it. I just see a butch and her femme life partner and I'm jealous as hell.
 

Oh yuk. I don't think I can stress this enough. Yuk to the power of 100. Yuk x mc squared.
Just... fuckin... yuk.
 

And this year's Nobel Prize for medicine goes Dr. Anita Bigger Lollypop, seen here with her creation, Martharace'......a successful full gene mutation of Martha Stewart and Liberace'

Now that's a tasteful tranny....

Strawberry anyone?
 

I Just Removed My Shirt Hott is reminding me of the scene from "Species" wherein Natasha Henstridge whips off her shirt in a club to more quickly snare a mate. I liked that scene. I'd be O.K. with Lolly-Hott killing this guy, too, but hopefully not with her tongue. I don't want there to be any residual douche brain on it by the time I get there.
 

romeo oh romeo wherefore art fellatio and cunnilingus said to be your fraternity brothers i see that not in shakespeare
 

What the fuck is that around his neck? I thought it was a tie, but now I'm thinking scarf.

Either way, it gives me a back-up plan in case my prayers about him choking on that shit in his mouth don't come though.
 

Oh, P.S. I don't know if you guys know, but the lovely Miss Lindsay Lohan finally unleashed the sweater puppets in a photo shoot that mirrored the "Final Sitting" of Marilyn Monroe before she ODed (OD'd? whateverthefuck). Same photographer, too.

WHILE IT'S CLEANER THAN YOUR SCAT PORN FETISH, DON'T CLICK ON THIS LINK AT WORK UNLESS YOU LIKE TALKING TO THE GOOD PEOPLE DOWN AT HR FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK.

http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/spring/44247/

Click on "Slideshow" below the main picture and enjoy the natural beauty of LiLo's mammy yams.
 

He's got a bit of Teen Wolf to him...
 

thanks for the info...but i have a pronographic memory and enough various pics of lohan ging fruit
are out there for me to merge them into 1 image...its how i get through watching herpes the love bug
 

Yea, that's a fucking Elvis scarf
around the knobs neck...
too bad it's not a noose.
"Wait till all the guys at Jiffy Lube see this picture!
I'm a shoe in for manager
when they see me with this hot piece of pie!"
Elvis scarf- $45.oo
Pic. with hot chick at bar-$25.00
respect from fellow jiffy lube
co-workers-priceless
 

Yup, that's it. He's a fat, younger, older George Hamilton. I will never eat strawberries again.
 

I saw the Lohan pics. While her sweater meat is quite impressive, she looks like the old chick in the movie "there's something about mary."

Dita Von Douche
 

Cut him some slack. I think he might be German. This kind of shit is considered cool there.
 

barf, bring up, disgorge, dry heave, gag, heave, hurl, boot, blow chunks, puke, regurgitate, retch, spew, spit up, throw up, upchuck. . .


BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAARRRRRRRRGHGHGHGH
 

@Dita - Really? I've already damaged my urethra, ruined my socks, and now the CD rom drive on my computer won't open. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder if my berries will stop that post-bear grunt convulsing dance anytime soon...

...and that's just the 13 minutes since I first saw the pictures.
 

We have a new leader in the clubhouse for gayest stare of the week.

Did we ever get an eligibility ruling from the course marshals on gay-bags? This "dude" isn't even trying to be subtle about his flaming desires. The basket in front him spontaneously combusted from being in such close proximity.
 

so since biff, george hamilton, gary busey, meatloaf, dean lewis, and triple h are taken, i'm fresh out of ideas.

all i gots is....yuck.
 

Cut us some slack,
that kinda shit's not cool
anywhere.
Like aids and genital herpes,
douche is a global problem.
 

After leaving the Mark of the Douchebag inscribed on the bathroom wall Douchezorro took off his mask, grabbed the hott, and enjoyed a nice glass of chablis.
 

I see in HCwDB the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddamnit, an entire generation comparing douches to celebs, looking for ghost nipples, and talking about pro teams. DB has us chasing under and sideboobs, working jobs we hate so we don't feel guilty about fucking off.

Is this what we've devolved in to? Is this the best we can come up with? Looking for psuedo obvious comparisons to celebs? Where is the substance that used to nourish us throughout the day? I miss the long missives expounding on the egregious act of douchism from the past. I'm starting to feel like David Aames at the end of Vanilla Sky but instead of screaming for tech support I'm going to start screaming for plinky! I place the blame for this devolution squarely at plinky's feet. His departure from this site seems to have left a giant creative black hole in it's place, sucking all new and funny thoughts down with it.

I'm going to jump ship and fuck the easter bunny for a while. I've been trying out axe for the last few weeks and I think I'm finally ready for my 1st fauxhawk. I'm giving up and converting just like plinky did. See you internet losers on the other side (where we wear jeans).
 

I'm with anon.
the first thing I thought when I saw this dude was "silver bullets." Somebody better have some.
 

anonymous beat me to the teen wolf comment, ruining the opportunity for a low-brow parkinson's crack. damn . . .
 

Butch Patrick Douche?
 

i can't comment on this picture because it made my eyes bleed. however....


where in the fuck is Plinky?
 

I am really really dumb. Eating my dinner I sit down excited to check the daily scrote on my favorite site and WHAMMM!!! I get smacked in the face with this horrible scene. Sick. Sick to my stomach...
 

Definitely, this piece of questionable sexual orientation and intent is worthy of the scorn he reaps from us lowly serfs. Someone please pop this choad in the neck, I wanna see exactly what that thing is in his mouth, and just how far it may fly. And for the offense of the skully ascot? Please find a large piece of bamboo, preferably about 3 feet long, whittle deftly until you have at least fifteen 24” slivers, then gently(!) hammer them under your fingernails. Rinse with bleach and bactine, then repeat nightly. Dude. A fucking ASCOT. Not even a tie. Who in the holy hell are you?
 

This man makes me want to touch myself.
And by touch I mean shoot.

He looks like one of Satan's minions. Like not a demon but like some kind of ass-kisser demon-wanna-be. The kind that follows the real demons around just to look cool, like he's in Hell's "in" crowd.
 

what the hell does this greasy follicaled felch machine have around his neck. is that a pirate tie you fag? I'd like to hang him from a yardarm until he spits up his spleen like that strawb. then disembowel him whilst I sing "yo ho ho"

she is a delectable slice of heaven who I die to make squeal with girlie giggles of delight!
 

I'd like to fuck his overly orange mishapen face with the backside of a shovel until I achieved orgasm.
 

Looks like you were wrong, Fat Kid. Wolf Man DON'T got nards.
 

d. baggins I feel your pain, and far be it from me to assume that I can live up to those of the past. All we can do is forge our own paths, trying to knock down those whom piss us off. So with your indulgence, I'd like to try to rock it old school, though I am admittedly new school. And I riff...

Number one, this young lady is very clearly paid to pose. The look on her face is not a look of joy, it's a look of "take the fucking picture and let me move on". She's trying to put on a fake smile, but the "top" which is nothing more than a bra belies her profession. Essentially, there's no time when hanging out shirtless in a club (guy or girl) is acceptable, UNLESS that's what you're paid to do.

As for Monsieur Mullet here, there is not even a good place to start. He appears to be wearing either an ascot or a scarf, but in a place that is warm enough for this girly to be rocking it shirtless, he must be coldblooded. His apparent choice of wine, a wonderful white that is most likely White Grape Juicy Juice (though it is a lovely vintage), is helping him display the look of the "sophisticated gentleman about town". When in reality, the ring on his middle finger and his massive "Bolex" watch bring forth thoughts more of someone TRYING to look sophisticated, but really is just an idiot. I put forth, in the same vein, that he appears to be wearing his mechanics uniform under his shirt, I believe you can see his nametag showing through on his right.

In reality, he's one of the worst kinds of douches: the "sophisticated" douche. He'll wine and dine our women, and tell them stories of his last trip to Prague, when in reality he is just like Bill Paxton 's Simon in True Lies. So fear not for this girly, as she was able to walk away unscathed in the middle of him telling his story (which he's told 999999 times) about how he was THISCLOSE to landing the new Armani gig. She meanwhile was able to prance off and earn more money to put toward her communications degree at Oxnard City College.
 

I am willing to bet he is or will soon be a cop...cops are big time douchebags, usually with bad hair like this orange monkey...they are usually the assholes that picked on the weak and helpless in grade school and high school and got a 500 on their SATs which limited their college prospects to staying at home in a van down by the river...then when everyone went off to college, bagadouscious decides he wants to start a career...the only thing available to him was being a Cop: To Protect and To Be A Douche
 

I do believe that I'm offended at the implication that the departure of one single poster here has resulted in a vast, sucking creative void. I was ready to wax long about a Las Vegas stage magicians' convention and Choado The Magnificent's trick of sawing his future employability in half, but now I think I'm going to pout instead. Boo.

And yes, plinky, "wax long" was for you.
 

"DOES MY TAN FRIGHTEN YOU?"
 

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080208
 

Renegade lives!
 

He looks like a blonde extra from The Planet of the Apes... Maybe, just maybe, Marky Mark and the disturbingly attractive ape girl got a bit hotter and heavier than seen in the film... meet the newest member of the funky bunch: Ape-Love-Child!
 

dbaggins one need only to read recent posts by baron von goolo or the always reliable darksock to know this site has is not completely devoid of good material lately.

i think a lot of us are feeling the crunch at work lately and dont have the time and/or opportunity to wax poetic on pieces of candy eating shit like this metrosexual taint pimple.

where the fuck is flyttethhe
 

"Teen Wolf" went for the third movie?

Either that, or a little known SE Hinton early work Soc Rumble Oompah Loompah-fish.
 

If you look closely—as hard as that is—there is hope. Sir Douche's left eye is beginning to close.

This is the closest he's been to so fine a Hott in forever, and he's stroking out. By the time she'd blinked away the flash, he was thrashing on the floor.
 

Good God... it looks like he has "Cocksucker's Cramp".


Quite.
 

The guy in the picture called; he said "Guhhh".
 

I'm quite sure this is the illegitimate son of Ron White.
 

Is this Douche Munster?
 

Is there any other kind of son of Ron White?
 

lol @ "Cocksucker's Cramp" and the "stroking out" call....nice one folks!
 

I'm pretty sure I went to college with that guy...Will Stafford?
 

Is that Ron White in a younger, douchier period?