Monday, February 18, 2008
'Strailian Autopsy

While the world recovers from the strangely heroic Australian uberdouchosity that was Corey Worthington, The Dingo who threw the house party / riot last month, we get this reader mail from Oz:
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DB1-
Here's a friend of a friend of a friend, I don't think it needs much explaining.
There's a few shots of douchebaggery (hey, he was a big brother contestant) I'll let you pick the one you like best.
Great site.
-- Yahoo Douchuous
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Nope, no explanation needed.
Where's Wez to drive up on his motorcycle and shotgun this Aussie tool all the way back to the early 1980s when you need him.
Comments:
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I spy nipplage slippage.
Too bad she's wearing those shorts or there'd be moose knuckle slippage too.
As for the 'bag, whadda ya want from a country full of criminal descendants.
Too bad she's wearing those shorts or there'd be moose knuckle slippage too.
As for the 'bag, whadda ya want from a country full of criminal descendants.
I think I'm going to have to wear a giant mandana and have blonde dreads from now on. I must have that poon, and if that means defecting to the douche side, then by God, I will!
Wake up from an alcohol induced coma covered in vomit, login from a 386 to get my fix and I gotta come home to this. Fucking great! This is as bad as it gets folks, as bad as it motherfuckin gets. This is like catching your parents in the act bad, it's like spotting Grandma's cameltoe and not being able to look away bad. Dude is that your hair or did you grab the nearest dirty mop and afix it to your head with that mandanna? And what in the hell is wrong with Polynesian Pollyanna's tits? I guess silicon was too expensive so you opted for tennis balls instead. I'm gonna see those fuckers in my dreams tonight and wish I was dreaming about granny's cooter.
What's the douche to non-douche ratio in Australia? My guess is less than it is in America, but with the metric system I don't know if we can really compare.
Yes,nice nipslip. But those veins on her forehead spell wicked amphetamine useage. Chicky's blood pressure is sky-high right now, if she took those sunglasses off you'd see some major insanity in those eyes.
That lucky Ozzie bastard.
That lucky Ozzie bastard.
I felt a profound sickness when I saw this choad from Oceania. So severe were my stomach spasms that a just spray painted my toilet bowl with the force of a can Rustoleum that has been heated in an Arizona garage for the entire summer.
However, I digress. Ill take 2 scoops of that Polynesian snack and construct a bamboo raft and set sail on the ocean of pleasure.
Kon-Tiki style.
Eagerly awaiting dread lock douche's death.
However, I digress. Ill take 2 scoops of that Polynesian snack and construct a bamboo raft and set sail on the ocean of pleasure.
Kon-Tiki style.
Eagerly awaiting dread lock douche's death.
man its robin crosby from ratt reincarnated into vanilla ice's gangsta comeback aesthetic...yeah the sweet sadness of a bleeth who would leave the house dressed like that being wasted on a scrote like that...how can you not put down the cigarette to take a freaking picture...i bet its a menthol, he got bracelet with kool credits
Wow, banners of heraldry lazily fluttering overhead? Doth the Douche forget his (under) armour?
I can't take my eyes off the trainwreck in the background in vaccuum packed jorts with the fleur-du-douche stuck in his waistband. Is that loser serious? Is that a shirt or a boomerang sheath?
Alas, the eau d'Bleeth is unmistakable, although she sure puts the penal in penal colony.
As for the Douche, the black "Live Wrong" bracelet says it all. Smarten up, chief. Douche, dumb and dreaded is no way to go through life, son.
Chaz Von Steezledouche
I can't take my eyes off the trainwreck in the background in vaccuum packed jorts with the fleur-du-douche stuck in his waistband. Is that loser serious? Is that a shirt or a boomerang sheath?
Alas, the eau d'Bleeth is unmistakable, although she sure puts the penal in penal colony.
As for the Douche, the black "Live Wrong" bracelet says it all. Smarten up, chief. Douche, dumb and dreaded is no way to go through life, son.
Chaz Von Steezledouche
ah, the aussie's... land of folk with great fashion sense sorta like the city of Oz... we need to take mango mop here to the salon of the cowardly lion...."snip-snip here, snip-snip there & don't forget his balls. that's how we prevent douche reproduction in the merry old land of Oz"
Oh man, I was at the St Kilda Festival last week (Melbourne's home of douche), wishing I had a camera while at the same time being somewhat glad that I didn't.
They're quarantined to certain places, however. Our previous PM was very clear - "We will decide who douches here, and the circumstances in which they bleeth".
They're quarantined to certain places, however. Our previous PM was very clear - "We will decide who douches here, and the circumstances in which they bleeth".
Anyone that would pay that much for plastic to be injected into themselves to hang out with shit slurping asshats like this fine example of de-evolution is a disgrace to humanity. She deserves to be fucked up the ass with his 2 inch chode monster.
Hey, check out the meat curtains on this chick:
http://www.blahblahblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/beefcurtains.jpg
http://www.blahblahblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/beefcurtains.jpg
the most offensive thing in this picture is that dude in the background wearing ridiculously tight white denim shorts.
tan hottie is delicious. i would cover her naughties with vegemite and throw my shrimp on the barbee. and by shrimp, i mean testicles, and by barbee, i mean chin.
tan hottie is delicious. i would cover her naughties with vegemite and throw my shrimp on the barbee. and by shrimp, i mean testicles, and by barbee, i mean chin.
Do these girls even pay attention to who's next to them? I'm wondering how much douchebaggery these days originates truly with the ladies? If they are willing to let guys get away with these atrocities, are guys then wrong to take the implied invitation to douche?
I wouldn't be so sure to call them critters plastic. But one thing for certain is that that is in fact a real areola peeking out at us.
There is also a very tall ugly tit behind her. He is ugly. Did I mention he is ugly?
These two fuckin wankers are the cheeseballs of cheese. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that shit. And I have no shame.
There is also a very tall ugly tit behind her. He is ugly. Did I mention he is ugly?
These two fuckin wankers are the cheeseballs of cheese. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that shit. And I have no shame.
If a dude ever held a cigarette that close to me I would punch him in the balls. Well, if he was as tall as this asshat I would. Because it would piss me off. Then I would take that cigarette and put it out in one of his nostrils. Well, not really but I would be seriously tempted.
I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I really hate douchebags.
I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I really hate douchebags.
how did cheech here nab this hottie? Was she really wooed by his collection of cooler ranch doritos, aqua teen dvds, and empty beer bottle collection on a shelf over his bed?
when i see this hawt (and I look at her at every possible opportunity), all I can think of is... pumpkin pie.
No surprises here. Considering this picture was taken in the same place the British sent their criminally insane, I would say it looks about right.I would eat her poo poo platter any day.
Quartasian hot will love Willem Dafoe-with- dreadlocks-douche for long time.
Everyone in this picture is dressed like some Australian's nightmare.
Everyone in this picture is dressed like some Australian's nightmare.
She's got a serrated edge that she moves back and forth.
It's such a simple machine she doesn't have to use force.
When she gets what she wants, she puts the rest on a tray in a ziploc 'Bag... in the freezer.
She doesn't care whether or not he lives on an island.
She doesn't care just as long as his shit doesn't stink.
She doesn't care whether or not he lives on an island.
They laugh, they make money.
He's got a rubber bracelet; She's got a silk dress and healthy breasts
that bounce on his Italian leather sofa.
Snap.
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It's such a simple machine she doesn't have to use force.
When she gets what she wants, she puts the rest on a tray in a ziploc 'Bag... in the freezer.
She doesn't care whether or not he lives on an island.
She doesn't care just as long as his shit doesn't stink.
She doesn't care whether or not he lives on an island.
They laugh, they make money.
He's got a rubber bracelet; She's got a silk dress and healthy breasts
that bounce on his Italian leather sofa.
Snap.
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