Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wednesday Limerick
Three cutes went to party in style,
They checked out bikini night at the Carlyle,
Then Sven showed his abs,
And scratched at his crabs
And the place smelled like Patchouli for awhile.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:48 AM 
Comments:
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"dude im friggin stoked!
these 4 hot chicks i poked!"
he is a douche indeed
the lead singer of creed
there is no god and you're a joke.
these 4 hot chicks i poked!"
he is a douche indeed
the lead singer of creed
there is no god and you're a joke.
polka dot bikini
entrapped in long haired weenie
id deliver him pain
than grab her belly chain
and enter her lamp like a genie
entrapped in long haired weenie
id deliver him pain
than grab her belly chain
and enter her lamp like a genie
these chicks have tiny breasts
but i dont mind flat chests
if they have nice butts
and they are kinky-ass sluts
they pass the bcs test
but i dont mind flat chests
if they have nice butts
and they are kinky-ass sluts
they pass the bcs test
It looks like a hot McFlurry,
I reach for KY in a hurry.
But there's the chode
Who was put a la mode.
8am leaves my eyesight a bit blurry.
I reach for KY in a hurry.
But there's the chode
Who was put a la mode.
8am leaves my eyesight a bit blurry.
# posted by 
: 8:14 AM
: 8:14 AM
what a giant pile of jizm
the virus blinds me like a prism
the hotties got the clap
from the douchebag scott stapp
stuck in his own douche prison
the virus blinds me like a prism
the hotties got the clap
from the douchebag scott stapp
stuck in his own douche prison
This 'bag is making me hurl
So I'll focus my thoughts on that girl
Who's standing screen right
Black thong, man she's tight!
I'd like to give her a necklace of pearl
So I'll focus my thoughts on that girl
Who's standing screen right
Black thong, man she's tight!
I'd like to give her a necklace of pearl
I would crawl thru sticker bushes
to see thier pokey bushes
I would poke both eyes out
to feel all thier thighs out
oh black kini hott how you ought
kill Sven then we knot
to see thier pokey bushes
I would poke both eyes out
to feel all thier thighs out
oh black kini hott how you ought
kill Sven then we knot
# posted by : 8:19 AM
: 8:19 AM
Look, a wannabe Sean Penn
Wants to show girls his little "friend";
Blondie said "Holy Frijole!
I just blew Spiccoli!
Let's leave and not come back again."
Wants to show girls his little "friend";
Blondie said "Holy Frijole!
I just blew Spiccoli!
Let's leave and not come back again."
I don't intend to sound mean,
But if God would smite the two in between,
I'd feel a lot better,
My dreams would get wetter,
With deep thrusting I'd rearrange the blonde's spleen.
But if God would smite the two in between,
I'd feel a lot better,
My dreams would get wetter,
With deep thrusting I'd rearrange the blonde's spleen.
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
Here's where has-been Scott Stapp now stays;
At a Florida bar, where he brays
"With Arms Wide Open"
while he's A-cup gropin'
but eventually for sex he still pays.
At a Florida bar, where he brays
"With Arms Wide Open"
while he's A-cup gropin'
but eventually for sex he still pays.
Well good god-amighty
look who's having a toddy
A dildo in trunks
all covered in spunk
surrounded by small-breasted bodies
look who's having a toddy
A dildo in trunks
all covered in spunk
surrounded by small-breasted bodies
Hotties wake and bake
with an extra from Point Break
time to catch a wave
that will lead to your grave
go drown in havasu lake
with an extra from Point Break
time to catch a wave
that will lead to your grave
go drown in havasu lake
To me it's abundantly clear
These hotties have nothing to fear
His pecker stays limp
Not unlike a shrimp
'Cause he uses "the cream" and "the clear"
These hotties have nothing to fear
His pecker stays limp
Not unlike a shrimp
'Cause he uses "the cream" and "the clear"
The hottest chick in this picture
The one who makes me want to lick her
Is the one stage left
Showing nothing but breast
All the others could be a backboarder
--Renegades of Douche
The one who makes me want to lick her
Is the one stage left
Showing nothing but breast
All the others could be a backboarder
--Renegades of Douche
# posted by : 8:27 AM
: 8:27 AM
This guy drives a 12 year old Bimmer
and has a nose the size of Dave Schwimmer's
The girls are most tubular
with very small boobular
which makes them more streamlined swimmers.
and has a nose the size of Dave Schwimmer's
The girls are most tubular
with very small boobular
which makes them more streamlined swimmers.
Blonde on the right how I wonder
Why your with such a blunder
how can you think this stool is cool
Why your with such a blunder
how can you think this stool is cool
# posted by : 8:30 AM
: 8:30 AM
it's time to go to the beach
on dads trust fund he does leach
while he frolicks with hotties
with flat-chested bodies
and the shrimp shack shooters and geech
on dads trust fund he does leach
while he frolicks with hotties
with flat-chested bodies
and the shrimp shack shooters and geech
The brunette looks to be little cutie,
Zebra top blocks the view of her booty.
But if I'm assuming correctly,
Then standing behind her erectly,
I'd give her a Hail Mary on par with Doug Flutie.
Zebra top blocks the view of her booty.
But if I'm assuming correctly,
Then standing behind her erectly,
I'd give her a Hail Mary on par with Doug Flutie.
# posted by : 8:33 AM
: 8:33 AM
The brunette looks to be little cutie,
Zebra top blocks the view of her booty.
But if I'm assuming correctly,
Then standing behind her erectly,
I'd give her a Hail Mary on par with Doug Flutie.
Zebra top blocks the view of her booty.
But if I'm assuming correctly,
Then standing behind her erectly,
I'd give her a Hail Mary on par with Doug Flutie.
# posted by : 8:33 AM
: 8:33 AM
This douchebag has chicks by the threes
They don't realize his disease
His left hand is hidden
In a place that's forbidden
While his right hand is scratchin' for fleas
They don't realize his disease
His left hand is hidden
In a place that's forbidden
While his right hand is scratchin' for fleas
the mark of the scrote is clear
as douchebag has a morning beer
the hotties have teenies
need wonderbra bikinis
and to get the fuck away from this queer
as douchebag has a morning beer
the hotties have teenies
need wonderbra bikinis
and to get the fuck away from this queer
"Can you take me higher?"
Scott Stapp stands upon a pyre
in a jesus-like pose
without any clothes
and i laugh as i light him on fire
Scott Stapp stands upon a pyre
in a jesus-like pose
without any clothes
and i laugh as i light him on fire
This picture gives me a mental scar
Like Green Bay losing from a pick thrown by Favre
But the point of this is satire
So I will remark on the bag's attire.
(Pun) Yes, this is a topless bar.
Like Green Bay losing from a pick thrown by Favre
But the point of this is satire
So I will remark on the bag's attire.
(Pun) Yes, this is a topless bar.
# posted by : 8:42 AM
: 8:42 AM
A phenomenon of societal abstraction
Explains the "douchebag attraction"
Surreptitiously he
Will infect each of three
VD will be the contraction
Explains the "douchebag attraction"
Surreptitiously he
Will infect each of three
VD will be the contraction
A surfer bag with brains of shit
Said "Hey babes, come smell my pit".
To him they flocked,
and boots they did knock
humping and flapping small tit.
Said "Hey babes, come smell my pit".
To him they flocked,
and boots they did knock
humping and flapping small tit.
chick reminds me of a neighbor i snoop on
with a belly that you could cook soup on
this creed bashing isnt fair
and i must declare
creed was a great band...for me to poop on
with a belly that you could cook soup on
this creed bashing isnt fair
and i must declare
creed was a great band...for me to poop on
Blondie on right is so smokin hot, I have chills.
I love the look bikini and heels.
You could be the women of my dreams.
I’d shower you with gifts and poetry by the reams.
Come be my mistress on you, I won't use pills.
I love the look bikini and heels.
You could be the women of my dreams.
I’d shower you with gifts and poetry by the reams.
Come be my mistress on you, I won't use pills.
Just a little hazing for the fraternity pledge
Stapp stands six feet from the edge
Bound, gagged, and life at stake,
His bros throw him in the boat's wake.
He'll be found if they give Havisu a dredge.
Stapp stands six feet from the edge
Bound, gagged, and life at stake,
His bros throw him in the boat's wake.
He'll be found if they give Havisu a dredge.
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
I know it's supposed to be a limerick, but the Hotts inspire me ...
Girls with luscious bods;
Something flaws the image-
Michael Bolton hair.
Girls with luscious bods;
Something flaws the image-
Michael Bolton hair.
# posted by : 8:58 AM
: 8:58 AM
Surf durf arrived on the scene,
Board shorts hung low near the spleen,
Beech bleeths came running,
Some very stunning,
Mr. Hand is nowhere to be seen.
Board shorts hung low near the spleen,
Beech bleeths came running,
Some very stunning,
Mr. Hand is nowhere to be seen.
# posted by : 9:00 AM
: 9:00 AM
Christmas carol edition:
we three hotts with douchey-bag are
bearing flat-chests we traverse afar
field and fountain
moon and mountain
following ex-rock star
o douche of wonder, douche of night
douche with royal beauties bright
Vegas leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Rehab tonight
Born a douche on Orange County's plain
shirtless douchebag, i crown him again
douche forever, ceasing never
axe body spray it will rain
we three hotts with douchey-bag are
bearing flat-chests we traverse afar
field and fountain
moon and mountain
following ex-rock star
o douche of wonder, douche of night
douche with royal beauties bright
Vegas leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Rehab tonight
Born a douche on Orange County's plain
shirtless douchebag, i crown him again
douche forever, ceasing never
axe body spray it will rain
A victim this douchebag should be
Begging for life on one knee
A fist in his chute
By that kid van der Sloot
And dump him a mile out to sea
Begging for life on one knee
A fist in his chute
By that kid van der Sloot
And dump him a mile out to sea
As I sit and spit
While my boss pitches a fit
I'm trying to think
While not spilling my drink
Who belongs to that giant tit?
While my boss pitches a fit
I'm trying to think
While not spilling my drink
Who belongs to that giant tit?
On Wednesday I prefer verse to prose.
So in honor of these three hos...
There tits may be small,
Yet still our mid-sections stand tall.
To the blonde: may I please suck your toes.
So in honor of these three hos...
There tits may be small,
Yet still our mid-sections stand tall.
To the blonde: may I please suck your toes.
# posted by : 9:17 AM
: 9:17 AM
Clearly this point is moot:
The blonde can play a mean skin flute.
But why is she hear
To be seen with the queer
With a thousand guys on his suit?
The blonde can play a mean skin flute.
But why is she hear
To be seen with the queer
With a thousand guys on his suit?
# posted by : 9:24 AM
: 9:24 AM
"Ha ha ha. That's what SHE said!"
Stapp seems to thinks humor can get them in bed.
HA Douchebag, the jokes on you
They switched your hair-grease with glue
Now your hand's permanent to your head.
Stapp seems to thinks humor can get them in bed.
HA Douchebag, the jokes on you
They switched your hair-grease with glue
Now your hand's permanent to your head.
# posted by : 9:33 AM
: 9:33 AM
Wearing shorts decked out in Iron Maiden
Are a dangerous thing to get laid in.
Beware of the skanks
With lice on their flanks,
Cuz your crank those crabs will be invadin'.
Are a dangerous thing to get laid in.
Beware of the skanks
With lice on their flanks,
Cuz your crank those crabs will be invadin'.
At the cosmetology convention
Are these hotts giving too much attention
To this 'bag with the hair
And the vacuous stare
A poster boy for birth prevention
Are these hotts giving too much attention
To this 'bag with the hair
And the vacuous stare
A poster boy for birth prevention
Like a donkey, this 'bag needs a punch
But first I gotta get me some lunch
A sandwich with chicken
That blonde needs some lickin'
Skip food...her carpet I'll munch
But first I gotta get me some lunch
A sandwich with chicken
That blonde needs some lickin'
Skip food...her carpet I'll munch
This dude kind of favors Kenny G
"But Ed" you say, "how can this be?"
On the woodwind he toots
Like all the skin flutes
He's blown at this bar by the sea
"But Ed" you say, "how can this be?"
On the woodwind he toots
Like all the skin flutes
He's blown at this bar by the sea
Sven scratches his head, he's confused
He asks, "May I be excused?
It stings when I pee
That's a sign of VD
My pecker has been overused"
He asks, "May I be excused?
It stings when I pee
That's a sign of VD
My pecker has been overused"
Crazy brunette on the left
With weird grin and tiny breast
Not an obvious hottie
But still a nice body
With her mouth I bet she is quite deft.
With weird grin and tiny breast
Not an obvious hottie
But still a nice body
With her mouth I bet she is quite deft.
I woke up today with no need
To fear a resurgence of Creed
But seeing Scott Stapp
Makes me want to tap
A nail in my brain, with great speed.
To fear a resurgence of Creed
But seeing Scott Stapp
Makes me want to tap
A nail in my brain, with great speed.
That chick on the left...double A's
Looks at me with a lacivious gaze
It would be just a fling
ATM is her thing
Then SCOPE without any delays
Looks at me with a lacivious gaze
It would be just a fling
ATM is her thing
Then SCOPE without any delays
With the blonde on the right I'm obsessed
In my hand you've probably guessed
What was once my zucchini
Is now my linguini
And a tissue is my only request
In my hand you've probably guessed
What was once my zucchini
Is now my linguini
And a tissue is my only request
Ed, once again I agree
Brunette suits my needs to a tee
It wouldn't take long
And would it be wrong
If I covered her body with pee?
Brunette suits my needs to a tee
It wouldn't take long
And would it be wrong
If I covered her body with pee?
If your eyes are quite keen
You'll see rivets on blonde's swimsuit seams
So she's got what I need:
She's been assembled for speed
She will pound me until I can't scream.
You'll see rivets on blonde's swimsuit seams
So she's got what I need:
She's been assembled for speed
She will pound me until I can't scream.
There once was a 'bag who thought he was cool.
If you ask me, he was just an Axed-up tool.
But like flies after shit,
The Hotts wouldn't quit.
Now, these hotts have bastard kids that drool.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
If you ask me, he was just an Axed-up tool.
But like flies after shit,
The Hotts wouldn't quit.
Now, these hotts have bastard kids that drool.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM
Yes mr. white, she is fine
For one hour I wish she was mine
We'd make love while it rained
'Till I was well drained
Then for 58 minutes we'd dine
For one hour I wish she was mine
We'd make love while it rained
'Till I was well drained
Then for 58 minutes we'd dine
There once was hott trailer with skorts.
Whose brother wore
Iron Maiden Piece Of Mind boardshorts.
Her anus he was in,
when he mused with a grin,
and said, "Hey sissy, can I plow one of your cohorts?"
Whose brother wore
Iron Maiden Piece Of Mind boardshorts.
Her anus he was in,
when he mused with a grin,
and said, "Hey sissy, can I plow one of your cohorts?"
# posted by : 11:31 AM
: 11:31 AM
For mr. white,
On many a hottie he's peed
But there's one more desire to heed
The urine would splatter
That flows from his bladder
On the albums of that rock band Creed
On many a hottie he's peed
But there's one more desire to heed
The urine would splatter
That flows from his bladder
On the albums of that rock band Creed
The power of Eddie is strong,
Like the combo of high heels and thongs,
This fellow from Creed,
He has no need
He'd rather be ingesting some schlong.
Like the combo of high heels and thongs,
This fellow from Creed,
He has no need
He'd rather be ingesting some schlong.
Of these 3 hots, the one afar,
Has me reaching for my jar..
For lubrication I do toil,
While Vinnie uses forhead oil...
Mongoloid A cups hits her knees,
Its Vin's 1 inch and Cortaid please...
Has me reaching for my jar..
For lubrication I do toil,
While Vinnie uses forhead oil...
Mongoloid A cups hits her knees,
Its Vin's 1 inch and Cortaid please...
2 hot babes and one milf
out early but drinking top shelf
none are in danger
from douchy rump-ranger
cause this guys in love with himself
out early but drinking top shelf
none are in danger
from douchy rump-ranger
cause this guys in love with himself
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
Blondie leaves me in a funk
How I wish I could ogle her trunk
But I'm stuck in this dream
(with my lotion and cream)
of her grinding those heels in my junk
How I wish I could ogle her trunk
But I'm stuck in this dream
(with my lotion and cream)
of her grinding those heels in my junk
# posted by : 1:33 PM
: 1:33 PM
A surf scrote with shorts covered in Eddie
Had ten drinks and was feeling unsteady
"C'mon, bitches, be cool
Let me get to the pool
You can jump on my dick when I'm ready."
Had ten drinks and was feeling unsteady
"C'mon, bitches, be cool
Let me get to the pool
You can jump on my dick when I'm ready."
Under bag's shorts, he's a bit shrimpy.
To the bar, the brunette wore something skimpy.
Without seeing more,
I'd still rate her ass 5 out of 4
And feast on her buns like I was Mr. Wimpy.
To the bar, the brunette wore something skimpy.
Without seeing more,
I'd still rate her ass 5 out of 4
And feast on her buns like I was Mr. Wimpy.
# posted by : 2:55 PM
: 2:55 PM
The beach bar troll flexes his abs
angling for boobies to grab;
I should bind him in a sack
and fly him to Iraq
And shock his nuts in Abu Ghraib
angling for boobies to grab;
I should bind him in a sack
and fly him to Iraq
And shock his nuts in Abu Ghraib
The blonde on the right is fantastic
Now my wiener is much less elastic
For it's easy to dream
That she'd coax out my cream
With positions she learned in gymnastics
Now my wiener is much less elastic
For it's easy to dream
That she'd coax out my cream
With positions she learned in gymnastics
To the devil his soul was sold,
For chicks of skin made of gold.
Then damn, too much liquor.
He'd never been sicker.
Died of liver failure, so the story is told.
For chicks of skin made of gold.
Then damn, too much liquor.
He'd never been sicker.
Died of liver failure, so the story is told.
# posted by : 4:57 PM
: 4:57 PM
Douchebag thought pursed lips' body was rocking.
He fantasized that soon her boots he'd be knocking.
But that's why she came
With her girlfriend who's lame
A good old fashioned cock blocking!
He fantasized that soon her boots he'd be knocking.
But that's why she came
With her girlfriend who's lame
A good old fashioned cock blocking!
# posted by : 5:04 PM
: 5:04 PM
there once was a douche named cortese
mtv helped spread the disease
spring break inspires
douche/bleeth desires
reinacted scenes in belize
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mtv helped spread the disease
spring break inspires
douche/bleeth desires
reinacted scenes in belize
# posted by : 6:56 PM
: 6:56 PM << Home
