Gross.
 

ahhhh, the miller lite gals. i ran into a covey of them in a bar in chapel hill last fall. nice to look at, but with the IQ of your average public school dropout. too bad the ones in this photo haven't grown out of their training bras yet.
 

Another kegel casualty
 

WTF????
 

your Honor, i think this kid is faking the douchebag look. i'd even be willing to say that he's seen the site and was posing for it. you're not real 'bag buddy. you're a poser. you're a jr. varsity bench-warmer.

i'd even go so far as to say that he, himself, submitted this picture.

now button your shirt up, get your sorry ass upstairs and finish your homework.

you want the truth?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!
 

In my garage, a shovel awaits, hungry for his face. Along with some 20 mil tarp, duct tape, lye and a jelly dong.
 

The lovlies in this pic obviously don't live by the slogan on their shirts! Unless they mean Champion of the douche squad of course. At least he is honest enough to wear an accurate representation of his penis on his necklace. BLING!!!!
 

ok the bag looks pre-fab but two things come to mind...he still owns that lame chain and those sunglasses...not saying that makes him the worst bag....more disturbingly...this appears to be a non-bar residential setting, do beer ornaments do outcall? how many
spitzer bucks do i need to get the brunette the blonde i'll pass but small tops brunette looks like a good time
 

I like the brunette. Her champion is in my pants, and can rise to the occasion.
 

you, sir, are no tucker max.
 

the champion is the guy who pounds your faggot face in at the club
 

This is the part where farmer ted closes blondhotts hair in the door, cuts it off with a pair of scissors, steals the bentley, and gets laid while the donger bangs a fatty on the exercise bike.
 

lets play caption again

"You got any irish in you? oh you do...uhh..how bout some more? no? shit you fucked up my pickup line"

"The champions right here ladies. And he's hairless with an erection that would put a toy fox terrier to shame. barely."
 

You can almost see the chick on the right saying through her semi-gritted teeth, "Jesus Christ, this guy's a tool!"
 

But Farmer Ted, no one's going to believe you.

That, my friend, is what the picture is for.
 

Young Spalding McDouche here has stolen his brothers aviators and has been drinking cleaning products all night. The shirt and gold by the foot chain are proof alone of geasey doucheyness that awaits this toad of the choads.
Young Miller Lt. PR Hotts need to be deloused in my domain after having this dreck touch them.
 

I think I'm in love with the brunette...at least for the length of time I am writing this.
 

They may be holding his lame ass up to take him out back to roll and beat his greasy, tag smeling, douche body to a pulp.
I believe sodomy by garden tool is a acceptable form of punishment for his douche outfit.
 

I remember my 15th birthday...
 

P2P on the right wins my tourney.
 

When did Jeff Conaway get out of rehab?
 

Brunette Cute-Hott to the blonde Nott-Hott - "Your son is one lame-ass retard, Cindi. He doesn't even know how to do the shocker correctly."
 

This guy needs a cinder block to the teeth.
 

Blondie is grabbing his side like she's ready to keel.
 

its sad. some poor 6 year old in thailand that gets paid 3 cents an hour has to sew on those buttons by hand for 20 hours a day and this douch nozzle uses just one. and is that a glittering tigers tooth necklace around his neck? total scroto baggins. p.s. the old hott is giving the shocker
 

Hey! Stage 1! Un-gesture the hands, button the shirt, and step away from the camera – we're hunting true grease-scrote here.
 

@darksock: I'd like to ignore your serial-killing paraphernalia for a moment and ask why you are in possession of jelly dong.
 

@ bag queen:

Punishing the dog. We only have one piddle spot on our carpet.
 

@darksock: If you punish the pooch with a dildo, and there is still a piddle spot on you rug, perhaps your dog is enjoying the punishment.
Maybe don't use lube next time?
 

Goose, is that you?
 

Go back to your fruit stand Ted. Maybe you fooled two semi-hotts, but they're not the sharpest tools in the shed aka liqour promoters.


Darksock/Bagqueen: Ask any fratbag and they'll tell you, dogs love the cock.
 

this mouth breather looks like he's about to hurl.... 2 cans of Miller Lite is just to much for this pup.... come back son when you have 3 hairs on yer schmeckel
 

I smell paid to pose. This wanker's a total lightweight, barely a blip on the douchemeter but he appears to be in training. Maybe Peaches is running a nefarious douchebag ninja training camp somewhere for aspiring choads like this lad. One can hope. And by 'hope' I mean projectile vomiting with enough force to carve a large crater in a hunk of granite.
 

no good
 

Its the Cleveland GIRLS back to let u know that u haterz are picking on THE WRONG GUY!!!

His name is actually Luke, and hes from Akron. Hes got his own busness selling rebuilt labtop commputers and makes some sereous money -- over 500 dollaz a week!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!

He drives a brand new KIA SPECKTRA (red, duh!) and has a LOUIE VITTONE wallet!!! And SIX PAIRS OF DOLCHE AND GABBANNA SUNGLASSES!!! He hits da club every weekend and knows how to treat a lady nice -- he keeps the shots comming. And he never makes the move to anal without asking first!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!

I dated him last summer (before I dated the guy from Sprint but after I did the hottie from Subway). He was sweet b/c he promissed not to pick at my scabs and got me some diet coke from Wall Green's after we hit it. I even let him keep the change he was so thogtfull.

But I could not keep him for myself. It would so not be fair b/c he is like a wild stallyun or a magnifisent sheep that needs to keep on playing the feild. Or he will die.

I miss him somtimes, but I will always remeber the fun we had, like the one time he took me to the olive garden for a romantick lunch. He bought me a sallad and let me order any dresing I wanted. Even thogh he never let me ride in his HOT car -- he said he didnt want to risk the queef smell in it -- when we said goodbye outside, it felt just like that seen in Casa Blanka. It was just awsome.

Love,
The Cleveland Girls -- Alayna

ps - bcs, Im still holding that pare of leggings for your sister at the Dress Barn. Tell her to come get them or they go back on the cleerance rack.
 

And NO Im not drunk. I am out of love, thats what . ive only had like fiffteen beers tonit and i am felling OK !!! ! LOL!! !1

cleve land ROcKS!!1!!!!! !! !1!

love, alayma
 

@cleveland girls i knew that guy from subway too. i guess he swang both ways because my gay friend paul used to go up there and get the two for tuesday deal. and im not talking about subs.

those leggings, are they size XXXL? if so they are too small.
 

I would like to take the paper from the tax returns i prepped today and give him paper cuts on his tongue. after which, he would be treated to a nice glass of lemonade, and some salt and vinegar chips.

"Would you ladies like to see a model of my penis? Yeah, this pimp charm is at double the scale. Pretty sweet huh?"

It's a good thing he's wearing aviator glasses, he'll need them when the hotts throw him out of the apartment.
 

Christ! So I click on the photo and zoom in some more. Yea, right on the boobies....unfortunately, they were not just those of the Hotts.

I now and forever possess the thousand yard star.
 

The Champion was last seen wandering into an ER wondering why the busboy at Chili's beat his ass and pounded his head into the curb.

Champ in my HCwDB best in show for his utter delusionional self-image.

Hey Shortie on the right. I bet your belly sweat is like sweet nectar from the kitchen of Apollo & Athena. Please call me to discuss. Blondie is very pretty but stands like a dude. I'm not sure these very pretty girls qualify as hotts, but my Shortie could cross over in a jiff.
 

I think it's either a fake or mother fucker here has invented a whole new bag hand gesture.
 

McLovin' cleans up good!
 

It's actually somewhat refreshing to see someone exposing a pasty, freckly, wasteland instead of an oily orange lobster for once. Thank you, Ted.

...but oh dear, could someone please inform Ted that you don't get to make the "I'm God's gift" face when snapping a paid-to-pose. K, thanks.