Wow, he has a lot going on in his life for someone who just bangs bitches and drinks.
 

I take back my wish of being re-born as DB2...may the Lord instead strike him down.
 

He will be in jail within the next 3 months.
 

ima have 600 dollas in the bank
 

Wow! I'm impressed. Not everyone has a five-year plan selling marijuana.
 

He's another candidate for being pushed out of a 747 at 35000 feet into the grand canyon to get that extra 400 feet of freefall. Wile E Coyote style.
 

Fantastic, he's already enjoying his spoil. and by spoil I mean a nice lunch at an establishment where the gigantic walk in refrigerator is visible to all patrons.

I love the faux wood bars, I'm sure that makes him feel at home. where home is jail, and not the phonically similar institution.

Wax on, wax off, class dismissed douchebag-son...

DJ
 

High rollin' at Denny's according to the picture. Someone please post this guys myspace or facebook page.
 

I don't dismiss douche bags...I diss em...

So here’s to you "Just bangs bitches and drinks" You were born to lose and you have succeeded because you fail to see the big picture and that is that you are a walking joke, you surround yourself with Preteen skanks and you think your "banging bitches" well here is some info everybody knows capturing preteen skanks is like shooting fish in a barrel all you have to do to impress them is be 4 years older and have a car. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but then you were stupid enough to open your fuc*en mouth and informed us of the obvious you are a dumb ass. Even if you do get rich it won't last because you don't have the “mentality” to keep it. You can't be or get rich if all you do is drink and bang bitches...Dumb ass.

Thanks for the laughs.
 

The best part is that he honestly, wholeheartedly, unequivocally believes what he writes. Gold!
 

Yo my future is all set... let me break it down for u... Clevon gone tuck up dat weenie and ima gonna give him my phat stash o cigs for a reach-o-round. I be tellin my celly about all my sexy ladies and how it be the white man that keep me down w/ the negative My clothes gonna be the tightest in the yard and dat Ronald MacDonald gone sent my last pay... I was born to lose reread I was born to lose reread I was born to lose.

Buillt to win what, pray tell?
 

Ahhhh...the financial theories of HJBB&D. The clarity of thought reminded me of the philosophies of John Maynard Keynes and the lyrical syntax of Adam Smith in HJBB&D's eloquent and exhaustively detailed thesis. Now that he has "cracked the code to makin' lots of cash" we can expect to read his investing philosophies in Forbes and Fortune and to see him participating in financial summits with other titans of finance such as Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. To be so young, yet so aware leaves me in awe. I hope, now that HJBB&D is a man of substantial means, he will share that secret code with us lesser informed heathen in a lengthy series of books. His tomes will surely outsell Donald Trump and Jack Welch combined defining him as the financial titan of Gen Y in his unique "of the people" prose.

I don't understand how he finds time to bang bitches and drink while running his global financial empire. I suppose that is why I have yet to "crack the code".
 

I can't help but like this guy.
 

danny - he's already reached terminal velocity so he won't splat any harder but it will give us about 20 more seconds of watching him flail about in anticipation his impending doom.
 

Too bad he hasn't cracked the code for fighting acne and attracting girls of legal age.

"Lickin' shawties at the bowlin' alley."

Fuck you.
 

Douche-A Away!
 

As long as that code isn't his genetic structure. There are too many scrotes on this planet as it is.
 

His extended tongue is giving him a touch of the Mongoloid.
Maybe he is catching lice from the hott.

kingcityDouche
 

I feel like there's some kind of logical hole in "I was born to lose built to win." I've forgotten most of my formal logic training, but I believe this type of argument is referred to by the Latin phrase argumentum ad douchum, roughly translated as "shut your hole, asshat."

Although to be fair, this is the hottest chick he's been with so far. Too bad she's in 6th grade. Those retainers can really hurt when you're getting a hummer from a pre-teen.
 

wiggerchoad stop trying to lick rachel bilson. i hate you.

in other irrelevant selfish news go tribe
 

Another "Borat's Brother, Beello" choad.
 

He's "gonna break it down real simple for" us to understand. Thank goodness for that. However, all it took was one one tongue wagging Guido and we understood immediately.
 

This piece is typical of the transition works of HJBB&D during what is commonly known as his “blue” period. During this time we see an evolution from his previous awkward, pubescent, rage-fueled slam poetry to a more refined adolescent prose. This piece exhibits the influence of other artists on HJBB&D, particularly Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem. Here the author, through some unknown experiences (perhaps the influence of some sexy lady), has seemed to gain some perspective on life. His earlier, ill-defined goal of a hedonistic existence of banging bitches and drinking has given way to a more focused and developed ideal of “becoming rich” and pursuing “cars, mansions and…sexy ladies.” Here we can clearly see some female influence as women have been transformed from mere “bitches” into “sexy ladies.” Although HJBB&D continues to lash out against as ill defined they, in this case “haters,” he has tempered his tone from outright rage to one of acceptance and even pity. He has come to the mature realization that there will always be self-perceived opponents on his road to mansions and bitches, and seems resigned to this fact. Originally met with coolness by the critics, this piece went on to become one of the more beloved of this bard’s works. While some critics claim that at this point, HJBB&D lost his edginess others claim that it was a brilliant feet of wordcraft and another forward step in his meteoric career.
 

This piece is typical of the transition works of HJBB&D during what is commonly known as his “blue” period. During this time we see an evolution from his previous awkward, pubescent, rage-fueled slam poetry to a more refined adolescent prose. This piece exhibits the influence of other artists on HJBB&D, particularly Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem. Here the author, through some unknown experiences (perhaps the influence of some sexy lady), has seemed to gain some perspective on life. His earlier, ill-defined goal of a hedonistic existence of banging bitches and drinking has given way to a more focused and developed ideal of “becoming rich” and pursuing “cars, mansions and…sexy ladies.” Here we can clearly see some female influence as women have been transformed from mere “bitches” into “sexy ladies.” Although HJBB&D continues to lash out against as ill defined they, in this case “haters,” he has tempered his tone from outright rage to one of acceptance and even pity. He has come to the mature realization that there will always be self-perceived opponents on his road to mansions and bitches, and seems resigned to this fact. Originally met with coolness by the critics, this piece went on to become one of the more beloved of this bard’s works. While some critics claim that at this point, HJBB&D lost his edginess others claim that it was a brilliant feet of wordcraft and another forward step in his meteoric career.
 

The greatest thing about clicking on the "Pre-Order the Hot Chicks with Douchebags book on Amazon" was the fact that each item in the "Customers who bought items like this also bought..." is a Nad's Hair Removal Product.
 

oh stewardess, i speak jive.

-----
he's saying that he'd like us to understand where he's coming from. he's been financially repressed for quite some time now, but has decided to take advantage of his recent financial upswing and plan for the future. of course, there are always two sides to every story. our opinion of him does not affect him at all. he's a dichotomy of success and failure. he simply has no feelings for those that don't support his ethos. he toasts to himself in order to mentally move forward.
-----

i hope that helped.

i'm not a violent person, but i wouldn't hesitate introducing a bat to the side of this kid's melon. what a misguided asshole.
 

So is Eminem the one he lifted the "I don't diss, I dismiss" line from? A Google search revealed a Myspace denizen with that name, but the page is so poorly conceived, visually and intellectually, that I had a grand mal seizure upon viewing it.
 

I am starting to suspect this fella is a parody.

Dear God, I hope so.
 

Oh...I get it, you grew up poor. So that gives you the excuse to rant, ramble, and pretty much just say the most mind-blowingly asinine things ever. Wow, it all makes sense. I was slightly nonplussed at first with HJBBaD's misanthropic approach to all the "haters" out there, but it makes sense now, he's "hated on" because he was poor, but now he's gonna "make that dough." On behalf of humanity HJBBaD, I apologize for "hating on you" for all of the "cars, mansions, and of course them sexy ladies" that life will bring you. We were all just jealous...

or maybe its that we all hate you because you are the human form of herpes...you may not be seen and heard all the time, but you're still there. That, and you have the mental capacity of a dirty toilet seat. You are the world's most hated failed abortion HJBBaD, and I pray to GOD in heaven that he either kills you, or strikes you impotent.
 

Bitches and drinks is a caterpillar turning into a douche before our very eyes.
Dare I say this guy makes JP see like an ok guy. Bitches and drinks is the new Rehab pic.
 

"wow this kid is gonna become something" yeah, a bloody pool on the sidewalk after he walks through the wrong part of town. shouldnt he have been arrested by now for underage banging? the bling man, its the sign of the scrote. this is like looking at a picture of little-red riding hood and the big douchey wolf. some family friends gave me very good advice when i first started dating: your thumbs are great for popping eyes out of their sockets, just below where the lids meet. take this advice and prosper underage girly.
 

@ Pfah - Amazing avatar.
@ "Old 'bag eyes" - Hilarious.

I wish I could make good money and wear sterling silver necklaces too.

FFS!
 

I'm greatful for him breaking it down "real simple" for me, but I'm still confused:

Are we voting here for "wow this kids stupid" vs. "wow this kid is gonna become something"? Because I want to vote yea to both options.

He is stupid, and he's going to become the dishwasher at the Denny's in the background where he just turned his application in at.

Yo, wash, rinse - repeat;
wash, rinse - repeat;
wash, rinse - repeat...

When there is a need to find and highly compensate spotty teens for their ability to absorb and then randomly regurgitate inane rap braggadocio snippets, you'll be in there like swim wear, G...you broke-ass Mike Patton-lookin' motherfucker.

HJBB&D is the new Joey P. Without the P.
 

"...so now you can look at it from 2 perspectives....u can think about it as 'wow this kids stupid' or 'wow this kid is gonna become something'.

Actually I really can understand his optimistic outlook. Considering what a waste of acne cream this scrote stain is right now, becoming inmate #325662 could fairly be considered "becoming something". It's all relative really.

My hat goes off to you, Bangs Bitches.
 

Here's to you entering the HoS...cheers...
 

What exactly is his occupation? Besides being a douche and, based on his writings, the next great American writer.
 

Pfah:

That dude in your avatar has the biggest nose ever. Crazy.
 

What a drooling simp...
 

Is that Mrs. Pfah's thighs you're wearing like a scarf?
 

Perhaps like so many literary icons before him, the true genius of his work will only become apparent posthumously.

I'd like to find out ASAP.
 

He cracked the code. I wonder if he is selling tiny classified ads.
 

We are in the presence of greatness. Possibly a 2nd HOS nomination for this turd. This puke is also a thousandaire financially by his words. Buttstain takes his bitches to only the finest bowling alley snack bars by this pic. Lets hope he continues his written word as he has so much to NOT F*C#EN SAY.
 

If not for his lyrical stanza's of this wordsmith bard, a wave of sickness would sweep over me just by his horrid, disgusting, curdeled milk colored skin. The skating rink snack bar was kicken on the night this pic was taken.
A douche of growing proportions.
 

Given the roller coaster reference, I'm guessing he works as a carny. Explains quite a bit.
 

Fantastic: More ruminations from this wunderkind. I think we should re-name him "He Just Whines A Lot and Masturbates".

Yeah, it's definitely the haters, kid. You go with your bad "built to win" self. And be sure to thank Gator on his Myspace page for apparently stealing his credos, as well as insufferably horrid grammar. You great big winner, you.
 

Is there another douche who gets so much response when he is posted?
a strong candidate for HOS.
 

NOT WHITE!
 

measuring the taints of blonds everywhere
 

and. as. if.

any of you original doubters/haters questioning his immediate induction to hall of scorte.

a big


BOOOYA KASHAAA

he is here, he's queer, and built to win. goin to the top with a bullet.

crack-ing the code. mansions!
 

Ah the failures of the pubic school system writ large with this fine young man. But worry not my friends. It seems, after reading his 'writing', that MTV has filled that void by teaching this future Forture 400 member the essentials to success.

It doesn't matter that he writes at a grade school level. He has "unlocked the code". Success is surely not far off...
 

sure you laugh now but when he becomes the ron popieil of taint retainers you'll be sorry for hatin...he has a system to shave centimeters off even the most stubborn taint...



nobd emeritus
 

You should hire an english tutor with some of your riches. Just a suggestion.
 

Someone called him "Buttstain." Fitting. pfah, you should lance that thing. Also, Jive Talker: I believe you have come very close to a literal translation, however I suspect that you are utilizing the Chicago streets dialect as opposed to the SoCal ragged ass house in the valley pigeon. He is really saying that his father beat his ass but that his Pell grant came through, so don't try to mooch off his supply of street grass. There is no parking in the yellow zone.

1,2,3 Pop Bottles
 

me thinks he may have watched doucheface staring al puccino once to often.

"the world is your's", bangs.
 

This guy watches too much Maury, but he's still ok. And my ok I mean a tool. And by tool, I mean stunt ass.
 

I'd like to nail that tongue to the floor and run my cheese grater over it a couple of hundred times.
 

Asshole. God I hate this guy.

So he thinks he found the secret to makin lots of cash. He's in for a rude awakening if he thinks smoking dong will get him rich.

I want to turn him upside down and use him for a toilet-bowl plunger.
 

Smoking Dong?
 

C'mon everyone, in unison please...

HJBBAD for HoS!
HJBBAD for HoS!
HJBBAD for HoS!
 

obviously you're not a golfer.
 

You guys jusk dont know about living in a bad neihborhood. Why are you so jugemental about him? He is very honest and expressive. I would hange out with him and pull chicks.
 

YO. He is already in the HoS.

He does, however, need a medal.

A greasy one, covered in acne, that always smells of desperation and defeat.
 

Isn't "cracking the code" the phrase they use on those get-rich-quick real estate ads with the "instructional DVD that will unlock untold wealth"?

he looks like a fuckin guy ritchie junkie extra from lock, stock.
 

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@scroter vance, one authentic bagg.....i think the chances are greater that you 'hange' out with him and pull each other.
 

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Wow, I guess money really can't buy class.

Was anyone else a little surprised that , "I was born to lose built to win..." was not written, I wuz born 2 lose, built 2 win.."?

Anyone?
 

Hey, baghunters:

Being an freelance cryptographer, I carefully rearranged letters and ellipses found in his message. I was able to translate many objects noted in his writing; however, several still remain unknown. This guy is good.

Here's the breakdown:

"I'm gonna break it down real simple for you to understand" = this guy named Scoots that I met down at Teazer's Hideaway said he'd write this down for me if I gave him the rest of my pack of Basic Menthols and a picture of my mom naked

"poor" = stupid as fuck

"promise to" = ass of

"rich" = low-functioning adult

"five year" = expected lifespan of 27

"rollercoaster of ups and downs" = felony and misdemeanor arrests for crimes involving lewd conduct and public urination

"cracked the code" = once formed a complete thought

"makin lots of cash" = not shitting my pants

"my future is all set" = 12 to 20 years in county

"cars" = cot

"mansions" sharing a cell with Julio, incarcerated for forgery and fraud

"sexy ladies" = Julio, again

"wow this kids stupid" = Wow, this kid's stupid as fuck

"wow this kid is gonna become something" = Wow, this kid's stupid as fuck

"it dont bother me" = I don't get it

"negative and simple minded people dwell in the past" = I'll never move away from my mom's and into that single-wide with Lyle at Camaro Estates like I dreamed of

"born to lose built to win" = couldn't even get sex if I paid for it

"give a f@#k mentality to the haters" = make a menu choice at Taco Bell without help from the counter guy

"I dont diss em" = I wish I didn't smell like poo

"I dont dismiss them" = I peed myself again

"haters will always hate" = my family will always tell me I've shamed them by being born

"the life ima have" = my predestined fall into oblivion

the cars = county

the clothes = prison-issue underwear that rides up my dirty crack

the sexy ladies = again Julio, that hot piece

"cheers" = hey, I'm drunk on Robitussin again! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

3:29 PM
 

Pyramid Schemes like Amway really do not work all that well...

He's in for a surprise.
 

dismiss him... this guys not funny or a good target... merely pathetic
 

Damnit, it's getting harder and harder to defend this guy. I keep trying to point out that being a douche isn't about what you say, or what you wear, but it's about who you are. Yet every time I try to defend this guy, I see more and it just keeps pulling me back in.

However, for the final time, I will say that this gentleman is not a douche, just a poor guy from the "hood" who is "living the dream" by kicking it with 12 year old girls and talking shit on the Internet. Here's a hint yo, if you are talking about all the money you're making, and how great your life is, guess what? Your life sucks. Real men don't brag or show off their money, they just keep living from day to day. So I feel this dude is just a pathetic little kid, who unfortunately will some day get his ass kicked by talking shit to some real bros from the streets.

And I swear to God, he better not fuck me over by showing up on this site again, I'm doing everything in my power to believe that this guy isn't a douche, but he's not helping much.

PS. Pfah, Victor Ivanovski, very nice. And Darksock, there's no need to bring Mike Patton into this. Even to mention him in the same sentence is hard to swallow.
 

@señor squash.....BRAVO! that was beautiful and spot-on. i wept. and by 'wept', of course i mean 'sharted'.
 

@douche quixote....he's an incredible photographer/artist, no?
 

Reread.
 

I was born to reaffirm that you're a douchebag.
 

@douche quixote - Seriously - give up. It's a hopeless cause. Any idiot who says he hates the "majority of brunette girls" (yes he said that look it up on HoS pic#2) is a piece of shit. Judging how much you like people by the colour of their hair is asinine, and I'm embarrassed to be of the same species. He's an arrogant little rodent with nothing to even brag of seeing as how he's a skinny pimply-faced little runt with no brains and his balls haven't even dropped yet.

I mean Christ - this guy is what a human would look like had he found the One Ring to Rule Them All and hid in a cave away from natural light eating raw fish for 6 centuries.
 

Ya know, those people in state-run homes for the "mentally challenged" really _do_ get so much money that they can't spend it all. Honestly. Finding ways to legitimately spend all of their money is a serious problem for them, and the people that care for them.

This guy could just be one of those "short bus" kids, raking in all of the state money for putting lids on plastic mugs, plus the monthly state stipend they get just for being "short bus" kids.

So, hey, if the cuties roll up and sit next to you long enough to get a quick pic for your scrap-book before you drool on them, that's just gravy! Excellent work, my man.
 

@Bag Queen,

I completely understand your point, but I'll quote you:

"He's an arrogant little rodent with nothing to even brag of seeing as how he's a skinny pimply-faced little runt with no brains and his balls haven't even dropped yet."

THAT is why I don't consider him a douche. He's like the dude that talks shit until the slightest sign of trouble appears, in which case he's "exit: stage left".

There are those who we mock because of their persona, your Joey Porsches, your Johnny Blazes, etc. At least for me, there are those that I just feel sorry for, he's obviously trying to compensate for something that he's missing in his life by being a big man on the internet. Much as bigger girls tend to pretend that they're skinny on the net, so do little kids pretend to be OGs.

Also, for a gentleman who hates brunettes, if I'm not mistaken, all of his photographs have him with brunettes, which goes more to my point. Who knows, I could be way off on this one, and if I am, I'll eat my crow, but this guy gets a pass from me.
 

Ah, damn, pfah, here I was thinking that was your lovely wife adorning your avatar, again. Ah - I'll bet she's even better, no? Don't tell us - let us enjoy the mystery. And by mystery, I mean raging hard-on followed by chafey rub-out.
 

Someone has to have a link to his Facebook page
 

this is what happens when jay z is your role model
 

Born to lose. Dismissed.
 

Have to give props to Senor Squash that was hilarious. Thank you for taking the time to write such a well thought and funny post. Also the guy who came up with the line he just whines alot and masturbates that was a classic. I also agree that he is the first person I have found to have succeeded with placing small classified ads from his one bedroom apartment.

As for the clothes those are so not money. The collar is all stretched out, the chain is cheap sterling silver, the white tee 2.99at Wal-Mart, and the jacket looks like an 80's denim reject. So if you got the money and want to upgrade your douche status at least hit Amberdouchie or Hollidouche. M'Kay. Because there is nothing worse than a wanna-be douche. The girl is a cutey but the grin says she is doing it as a joke and will immediately proceed to the bowling alley restroom to disinfect herself. She might want to use bleach on the cheek because that lizard tongue is awfully close.
 

Baggie Queen: I feel like I'm in an argument with my lady friend and she's bringing up details from last year's arguments and throwing them against me. Hell, I come to this site to escape that BS.

Anyway, I feel you are really missing the beauty of He Just Bangs. Much as the poetry just flows from his fingers onto his little piece of the web, the impact of that poetry just flows right on out there into the vast universe with no import. Until the Mighty DB1 makes a cult warrior out of him.

The simple truth of HJBB&D is that he is an infant and needs your nurturing rather than judgement. I bet his brunette momma vascilated between beating him with a hot steam iron or ignoring him while engaging in meaningless encounters with strange men.

Reach out to him and PROVE that brunettes are mostly no fun at all.
 

Baggie Queen, please let me serenade you with the words of Robert Earl Keen, Jr.:
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/keen-robert-earl/its-the-little-things-11760.html
 

chafey rub-out is a great band name.
 

@bleethlvr995: thanks for your input - it made me laugh. And thanks for the lyrics, I think...? Hey - sorry if my intensity is stressing you out. I can explode a balloon beside you to help you relax. You know - when you least expect it.

@quixote: ok, I think get it. You feel sorry for him. I understand, I guess.

I still think I hate him, though. Is that wrong?
 

i am sure that this is not new, but i just had a shitty day and was checking up on things here and it came to me, so simple...


he just bangs, bitches, and drinks
 

A primal scream; A naive beauty... A kind of linguistic Jackson Pollock...
 

..but he's STILL a hollow shit, money, cars, and 'mansions', or even sexy ladies (who will EXIT)do not add up to substance.
 

I know a guy who talked shit just like this guy...

Was a 24 year old virgin who is marrying the first and only chick he ever slept with.

Douche.

Oh, the guy I know also doesn't pay off $70 bets.
 

He sure bangs a lot of chicks and drinks a lot of bud light for a homosexual down's syndrome kid.
 

he is just another example of the ubiquitous $30,000 millionaire. A sad version of the mcdonald's dollar menu millionaire sans the pathetic ironical tone and straight to just fucking sad irony, because he actually believes what he says. I'm sure him and his homies act like they run with the big dogs when they are really tied to the porch of their mom's house. But it is fools like this that forget the one cardinal rule in this spinning muddied marble we call earth:
disco stu does not advertise.
 

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If I had a nickel for every guy I met who acted like that... well I'd rather be broke. Honestly LA is nothing but these characters. They get up in your face with their BS and the bimbo at their side just goes with it.
Seriously, that's the kind of speech of a guy who tries to sucker his friends into a pyramid scheme... "yo man, you gots to take the initiative, kwumseyin'? You either a player or a hater, it's all up to you, so you gossa play the game, bro... so, you gonna buy the starter kit or you gonna just sit on yo ass the rest of your life?"
Well no more. With HCwDB at my side, it's time to send them back from whence they came.
 

CHEERS!!! YOU FUCKING HOMO!!!
 

Firstly, i am of legal age (21)
Secondly, he is a real person (http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9130304&ref=ts#v=info)
And lastly, this isnt Denny's this is the Southwest Cafe at Umass Amhesrt..
 

I admit, through no fault of my own, that I had little bit better childhood than HJBBaD. I guess I've been around people with "mad money", many of whom often dressed like flood victims. To them, college was a bit more of a conduit to a better life, rather than making a "few" fone calls and setting things up so that sometime in the indeterminable future they could make "$4.2 mil."

I think he's a misunderstood genius, and when he breaks big it will ME, the only one, who covered his bases and said, "I believed! I awlays believed!" Then I'll help him "invest" his $4.2 until his mom's basement is the last place on earth he can afford.

He can wash his dish and brush his tooth at night before retiring to the futon once reserved for the peripheral family members who used to visit.

Then he'll learn the the valuable life lessons of getting "screwed", not in the same sense as he "bangs" his bitches, but in the sense that he met a superior intellect and realized the real world plays a much harsher game than warm Miller Lite and an ironing board bar in the basement. Oh, and I'll keep my my/his new found fortune off of facebook. Assclown.
 

i want to know more about this guy, you know, like follow him around and take notes.
 

I'm beginning to think this guy is local...in two of his pictures I've noticed girls that look remarkably like ones I've met. I wouldn't be surprised if he is, there's more than a few total fuckfaces like this guy around here...he'd fit in nicely.
 

"Born to lose, built to douche"
 

More like he just bangs bitches that drink
 

One might assume that he's had a stroke and that's why his tongue is lolling out to one side...on the other hand, one can be confident that he's not getting OR ever had a stroke from a HC or sadly even a rough trick named Jim...Scrotetacularse
 

" Bitch we goin to the bowling alley" 1$ natty lites. dont hate, regulate
 

The Bling Bling billionaire. All spark but no substance. Likes shiny things, in over his head, has no actual net value but he'll show you that cool Vin Diesel watch he just bought for $400. Pimps out a leased car, has an iPhone, spends his money on douchey fashions, has thousands in credit card debt.

He just bangs female dogs and blinks.