Remember at the end of the first Underworld flick, when Lucien is dying, but he can still his "Bite him!" at Kate Beckinsale's character? I'm telling that to this chick right now. But please, bite him through the neck so he bleeds out faster.
 

Once again, I dislike her almost as much as I dislike him. No accounting for taste.
 

Awww... For Christsakes! It would appear that I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing airplane glue.
 

Small, finger-shaped sac???

Sounds about right.
 

Young Huey Lewis looks like he's waiting for a bus....umm, scuse me douche? Look DOWN and show some FREAKIN EFFORT!!!
 

i believe the procedure you are referring is termed appendouchetomy. the appendouche is a sac that can vary in size and extends from the side of a hottie. it should be removed immediately before the hottie has a chance to become inflamed or infected. an infected appendouche can infect the entire social network of the hottie, which can be deadly.
 

I could crawl in to my own ass and expect a more pleasant smell than the one I'm guessing emanates from this bag. You disgust me shithole, if ever we meet I will remove that bared nipple and force feed it to you while your hands and feet are bound just like gluttony in Se7en.

@ blonde hott

Are you somehow related to Gene Simmons? I'd love it if you'd gently caress my balls from across the room with that chameleon tongue of yours.
 

Choad navel-fluff...

It's not just for breakfast anymore.
 

"When does the watermelon shooter come out of here again?"

-smouche
 

10th!
 

Now douchebags have fluff girls?
 

Yeah, if she's fluffing his vagina.

-smouche
 

If there was ever the need for eugenics, Appendouche would be it. From top to bottom, everything about this photo is utterly sickning. I would trade a kidney for the chance to run over Appendouche with a tracked military vehicle.

And you hott, dirty temptress. Please tell me you are in some sort of heroin withdrawl and you know not what you do. You'll need to brush your teeth with turpentine to get the taste of douche out.
 

Revolting.
 

"Mmm, that's a great flavor of Axe!"
 

DB1 i think you're cheating by getting pics from that web site, "mindsexentertainment.com". i checked it out and its like getting a golden ticket to willy wonkas douchebag factory.
 

vegas magician called, he wants his jacket back. . .
 

I want to take that fungal growth off his lower lip with a belt sander. Another great attempt here to deflect attention from the receding hairline, this time by gelling the sparse, whispy remnants into an uneven fauxhawk.

Sweetheart, if you got anywhere near my equator with that big smacker I'd give you something a lot better than choadgut to chew on.
 

Thanks for bringing us Dawson's Creek fans up to date. We all knew of the fate that befell Joey Potter and now we've seen what became of Dawson himself.
 

Could mindsexentertainment.com be the fountainhead of douche? The horror.
 

Jesus, just how self-absorbed do you need to be to not even pay attention to a hott doing unnatural things to your greasy body?? I think he's checking his choadhair in a mirror off to the left. Darling blondie hott, I promise I will give you my undivided attention, by which I mean I will hold the back of your head lovingly while you fellate me.
 

douchewannabe -- I concur. Out of morbid curiosity and an inherent masochistic personality trait, I visited the site.

My God, the horror. It's a 'baghunters dream come true. And by dream I mean living nightmare. I think I need delousing and a prescription for heavy antibiotics just from a sixty second exposure.

I can feel the pustules forming as I write.

But it's worth it to experience douchosity like this.

Or this.

Or...this.
 

She's a professional prostate milkmaid. Where did you think her other hand was?
 

She's a professional prostate milkmaid. Where did you think her other hand was?
 

I was going to write something about this picture involving a dumb blonde joke and a breathalizer test, but then I went to mindsexentertainment.com and there is no joy in my life.

And here I am tonight in the same city as these photos. I must end it now; I'll hang myself with the hotel's coffeemaker.

To Live and Douche in L.A.
 

No, hott! Do not taste the Axe Body Spray. There is no antidote, and you will forever be a Bleethed out concubine.
 

This guy needs to die of septsis immediately. Wait - correction: make that a long slow painful death by sepsis. What an arsehole. He's way to cool to even look at the hot chick subverting herself on his scroty flesh.
 

Doesn't she realize that when he was a fetus, that is were food and poop went? And I bet it still ends up there, too. What is with that dumbass look on his face? This picture makes me angry. I'm going to have to punch a nun to get over this.
 

Id pay good money to lick that chest