I don't know which made me feel dirtier; the disgusting, greasy, scraggly hair on the Hollydouche or DB1's text sex with Natalie.
 

DB1 can sign my "pre nup" anytime.
 

saw this the other day on WWTDD and was waiting for it to make its way to HCwDB.

My heart, it breaks. And yet, I find myself oddly elated. If could just master my inner douche who know what hott will slip her arm 'round my saggy waist.

Wait, I'm wearing a polo shirt right now. Let me just pop my collar (pop!)

Oh Natalie!
 

You should probably tell this idiot that you don't need 3-D glasses outside the theatre
 

You would think that Ms. Portman would be able to afford a dog-walking service, i guess not
 

Dang, that is a tough site to look at with Natalie and some weird looking douche, haha. Some women just like weirdos, who knows.

best movie site
 

"sniff" the glove...
 

Holy shit, is that Devendra Banhart? How did he get so lucky?
 

Yes, it's him.
 

Eh she starred in one of his videos. Just search him on youtube: that guy is one pretentious fuck. (Any band that no one else has heard of is great, he doesn't adhere to any particular musical style so he has a built in excuse for when he starts writing power-pop songs, etc.)
 

DB1, I would romance Nat with the finest kosher cornbeef/Ukrainian pumpernickel rye sandwich with yellow Heinz mustard and a big bowl of borscht with a dab of my homemade dill sourcream. Then we'd watch Boondocks and make sweet tender love until I kicked her out of my apartment after falsely accusing her of farting in bed.

Let's face it, Nat isn't breakin' new ground here. She's now another chapter in the rich legacy of celebri-Hott with effeminate Douche comingling.

Oy Vey! I remember the last time I felt this enraged, it was when I heard that my favorite Dynasty babe Linda Evans was dating that Uber-douche Yanni. My schwantz was never the same. She no longer could inspire those long sustainable boners after that news.

Ahhh... regardless, Linda Evans inspires such fond and romantic recollections of confused prepubescent feelings of love and lust with a raging out of control boner. "Kind on the eyes and hard on the toughskins"
 

matching coats, he has a man-purse, and those gay glasses. what a fist-fucking homo. she must really stick the strap-on deep up his fag-ass.
 

I saw this pic in the NY Post Friday and started the countdown until it appeared here. Nice work. Less than 48 hours.
 

Is it required of emo douches to sport the pseudo army surplus ragged out murse?

Nothing better than watching NP run in the Star Wars Travesties. Action heroine she is not. Better yet was her quasi-sexual relationship with a frog in The Professional when she was a tween.
 

DB1, sorry dude, it's chablis, not chablias
 

or even chablais! (been drinking wine since noon in Destin, FL, gimme a break!)
 

db don't take it so hard gay sasquatches are the new must have for hollywood it girls...things haven't really been right out there since the great panty rationing/scare of 05...i tried to help with that i marshalled a panty drive at work tokd everyone its like the can food drive you don't bring in the ones you actually wear just the stuff in the back of the drawer you never wear anyway...these people are desperate...
 

That's Devendra Banhart, who is really pretty freekin cool. No dice on the ol' douchebag designation here. Chalk this one up to Db1's personal issues/famous hottie crush. Not that i don't understand, mind you.

Besides that, I'm not altogether comfortable with the inclusion of famous people in here anyway. But I guess that's my personal thing...
 

Ass hat looks awfully pleased with himself...like he knows we are watching him, waiting for him to fall asleep.
 

One can be cool within a certain context, but a douche if taken out of that context. Tighty Armani might be pretty cool to have around if you needed someone to lift your douchemobile off your scrawny mellon, but put him in a bar and he's douche-tastic.

Banhart may be cool at what he does, like Adam Duritz within the context of Counting Crows, but run either one of them out in public without a guitar nearby and you get douche-juice all over the the place
 

That "matching Navy overcoats" thing is creepy. My spider senses also tell me that Portman isn't very good in the sackeroonie.

But hey, DB1, you know where Fairfax is. Hang out at Canters and enjoy the lovely Jeweses that frequent the place.
 

Ah, Natalie Portman. I would convert her to Catholicism- in a good way, in a good way.
 

In my humble opinion, (and I use the term humble loosely), dude is a 'bag alright, but of the dirtbag variety, not douche. He looks like one of the Beatles when they were doing way too many drugs, lost shitloads of weight and threw their personal hygiene out the window. I think she picked him up at the local welfare office.

What's with the stupid matching pea-coats? And the popped collar?

I also think those dude's glasses are totally photo-shopped. They are the same retarded and ubiquitous glasses that seem to appear time and time again in photos that just might not be douchey enough without them.
 

I just put eye drops in and can't figure out if it's them streaming down my face or actual tears when I see my little Natalie with this douchebag.

The glasses actually look like someone Photoshopped them onto the picture.

As far as guys in bands we haven't heard of other than because the lead singer is dating some famous chick they are all douchebags.

That guy who dated Kate Moss is famous on this side of the pond only because he dated Kate Moss. Baby Shambles? I only know about them/him because of Page Six.

I can only guess that Natalie is channeling her inner lesbo each time she kisses this douchebag because she truly enjoys 1970's era snatch.

Now excuse me while I pour Bleethlvr and myself another homebrew from my two tap kegerator and we drown out all memories of this utterly horrific picture.
 

That's funny that bag queen and I had the same thought on the glasses...
 

Unnggghh Portman. That is all
 

I know Chris Robinson. And you, douchebag, are no Chris Robinson. Actually, you're both hairy buttplugs.
 

There are a lot of musicians [male and female] in bands that tons of people have never heard of because tons of people don't know so very much about music. Then again, this isn't a music site, its a 'bag site.

Regardless of who's dating who, Devendra still gets 'bag immunity from me. More than any other post in these hallowed halls I see this one as projection of douche on the guy based on who the Hott is.

True scrotessence never came from the Hott.

If its about the Hott, douche is void.

Unless its Pancake.
 

Banhardt a) looks like he needs a flea dip, and b) his music is complete rubbish.

At least Pete Doherty made a bunch of great records with the Libertines and Babyshambles.
 

bag queen, I couldn't agree more.
I think NP is loved because she fakes her good qualities. ever since the professional she's totally imploded.
 

So douchey, even a caveman can do it. Die Geico wretch, die!
 

Yeah, Banhart gets a douche pass. Those glasses make him look like an uppity hipster pseudo-boho pretentious ass, but he really does channel a unique kind of folk. He's cool.

Hell, I'd have those glasses surgically installed if I thought she liked them.
 

I gotsta go with the Butcher and the Bageteer on this one, Devendra is nottadouche. Hippies =/= douchebags. I'd be surprised if he owns a stick of deodorant, much less a can of Axe. And Natalie's not too good for him. He's an artist, albeit overrated, but she's not the greatest actress either, nor does she have a penchant for choosing the best roles. Devendra's the man. If he wasn't before, he is now.
 

I refuse to give a pass to ANYONE who sports a look like this and thinks, "Yeah, this works."

This look says "I'm a pretensious asshole." to me.

I can only equate this look with the L train riding Williamsburg (or as they so douchingly call it "Billysburg") hipster douchebags who've fled Manhattan for my beloved Brooklyn and look down on me because I'm not "hip" like them.

Now, for the oneupmanship which kind of makes me a douchebag here, but by knowing it's douchey negates my douchebagness...

I was living in Brooklyn long before it was considered hip. I was here when a brand new 1br was going for $285,000 and I said, "What asshole would pay $285,000 for a 1br?" And then watched them put up another new building where 1br condos were going for $630,000.

I don't wear a "Just Say No" t-shirt because it's ironic.

I don't have a job where I can wear jeans and a t-shirt every day to "fight the power"

I don't look at someone who wears a suit as a conformist and say things like "Die Yuppie scum!"

I don't point out how I'm such a non-conformist and then dress like everyone else I know.

And finally, I don't sport a look like this. I don't look like I need to have a monkey groom me so I'm free of crawly critters. Nor do I look as if I comb my hair with a pack of firecrackers each morning.

Why?

Cause I'm not a dirt/douchebag like this jerkoff.

Though, if I knew I was gonna be seeing my sweet, sweet Natalie naked every night I just might have to revise my thought process and join the dirty douchebag army.
 

MC, you nailed this guy with the pretentious comment. 6:16 Anon also set it straight. This tool doesn't even qualify for the architect or celeb designer of MC's highrise condo... he's the dweeb in the cubicle trying to figure out how to run the water lines for the sauna behind the crown molding without disturbing the linen-clad wall sight lines.

Still pulling vermin hairs from my teeth but it seemed more to resemble 'possum squeezings than rat squeezings. Perhaps that is why MC is an award winner and Mr. Sock is just Lord High Executioner of Scrote.
 

You know, I hated to see Jim Martin leave Faith No More, one of the best and underappreciated bands of last century, but I'm happy to see him hook up with Princess Armadillo. Dude deserves to pound that pressed ham.

Although to her he must feel like a junior dildo poking out of a fright wig.
 

@BleethLVR905

Actually, since they walked in on my in the janitor's closet at work last week I've been crowned Lord High Executioner of Stroke.

So unfair. Learn to knock, people.
 

Does the fact that the guy is wearing a women's coat make him more or less douchey?
 

Mr. Sock, you wear many crowns. You have the power to either unite the Empire or destroy it. Please, remember thou art mortal. Use your powers for benevolence and the eradication of Scrotanity. Douchic Cleansing?
 

As a major Hollywood producer, allow me to set the record straight. These two are not actually an item. They were recently photographed together following an audition for a remake of 1981's Caveman. Ms. Portman is up for the role of Lana, originally performed by Barbara Bach, while Mr. Banhart is hoping to reprise the part of Tonda, as made famous by the late Oakland Raider John Matusak.

-Dino Douchelaurentis
 

I knew that Grizzly Adams was always a lady killer, but I didn't know that the look was back in style. Damn I guess I will quit grooming myself. I guess some hots like it bushy.
 

Tonda, Lana zugg-zugg?
 

The allure of shiksas is strong...






Then again, my wife converted.
 

Waitaminnit

Upon further review he's Kosher Meat.

Mazel Tov!
 

I think it's ironic that a jewish girl would end up with a dude who looks like Jesus.... if Jesus were trying to hide his true identity with a Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band disguise.
 

What we really need are more pictures of Natalie in her Naughty Schoolgirl uniform from V for Vendetta.
 

Fuck this hipster scumbag. Uhg I live in Brooklyn and these hipster douchebags are as annoying as the worst Guidos. Natalie, I thought you had more class than this. Guess not.

If you can look at this asshole's ridiculous outfit and not think he is a douchebag then you might have to rethink your own douchery.
 

"Why, yes. Yes, I really am a douchebag.
Smell my beard. Hear me whine"
 

I'm giving Natalie a pass.

Devendra's a very talented songwriter and musician. "Cripple Crow" is an amazing CD. I've seen him play a show here a few years ago. He's no poseur, and far from pretentious.

I shit you not.

He's the real thing.

This time, Natalie's showing very good taste in men.

Sorry, guys. No douche to be seen here. Let's move along.
 

Señor Squash, I do not concur.

Look at the picture again, there is nothing there but a huge, heaping pile of douche.
 

I can't decide what was more creepy the douche or the text.
 

Sorry guys, you've got nothing on him. He's got a long hair and a full beard with unlimited potential for any combination of faux-hawk/chin-strap you could possibly come up with, but he wears it naturally. He's completely covered up, not flexing his pythons nor pointing to his abs. Neither is he pointing at Natalie's ass or cupping her breast. No orange skin, no absurd facial expressions, no gang signs. So what do you got? Slightly unconventional sunglasses? This isn't the McCarthy Era. He's a musician, his music is good, he gets a pass.
 

I echo mc's sentiments, but have not yet experienced the soul-wrenching tunage of this hairy young man. I cannot judge.

Yes I can, he's a douche.
 

K ~ Well, let's run down the quasi-official douche traits.

DOucheface/lips? Nope
'Bag hand gesture? nope
douche bling? nope
URC? nope
orange skin? nope
mandana? nope
oily skin/mark of bag? nope
gaudy/ugly ink? nope
watch the size of clock? nope
scrotitude/disdain for Hott? nope
being Pancake? spot's taken.

I don't remember a] long hair and/or beard, or b] not liking his music/chosen art form ever being legit 'bag traits. That's because they probably aren't.
 

It's no use, Butcher. HCwDB has been acquired by The John Birch Society to become Jews with Hippie-Pinko-Commie-Terrorists-Who-Hate-Freedom. They're gathering evidence of possible subversion for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. If you're an American, I would lay low for a while; keep your tie straight, nails short, and sideburns non-existent until the heat dies down to avoid deportation, and of course, being called a douchebag.
 

Man, that Man-Bag is full of douche.
 

Gotta side with butch on this one, DB1. No way this guy turns into a douchebag any more than my fellow cohorts and I can turn lead into gold. Or boobies.

(But we do know how to turn gold into boobies. Oldest trick in our book.)
 

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Casey and Abdouchah, I'm with you here.

As much as I enjoy mocking the douche like the rest of my fellow 'baggers, I will have to continue my dissent against the majority in this case.

As both of you have mentioned, the gentleman in question has none of the douche markers. He has not purchased his identity at the mall, nor is he engaging in behavior considered disrespectful to the Hott.

He is, in fact, a rather mellow hippie/stoner/folkie/weirdo of talent and ability who happens to have a large beard and has let his hair grow out. And yes, he's wearing stupid sunglasses. We've all done that. I think.

To put Devendra Banhart in the same league with Fish Slap and the Ab Lobster is unconscionable.

And makes baby Ganesh cry.
 

avdoucha yes he lacks the stereotypical traits thats true, those are merey traits of common douche we know, there is also room for and unfortunately the presence of...those douchebags which defy conventional baggery...to define all bags by a list of observed characteristics is too limit the scope of baggery
 

Senor, does that cow fucker that dated the drunk from ET qualify for hippie/stoner/folkie/weirdo of talent? Dude has donned a costume and pretentiously struts around. The difference is that, rather than mocking you for not knowing what a Punkass is, he's mocking you for not knowing who Camus was. The Douche is in the attitude and this Scrote is no less ridiculous than Pumpy. Well, that's a stretch, but he's on par with Peaches.

He has white ridiculous glasses and a murse. I would bet he has raggedy Chuck's for wheels. Plus, I tend to agree with whomever said she'd be lousy in the sack. Sorry, couldn't find the comment, but, as gorgeous as she is, her talent is limited and she's a bit of a dumb stiff. Obviosly she has no taste, either.

Much as I hate to admit it, I am in confederation with MC on this one, and it's not just the 'possum piss talking.
 

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BL95, I guess I'm gonna continue to agree to disagree with you all on this one. Aside from the hair issues and the sunglasses, I dress like that on occasion.

If being considered douche is all about wearing clothing that makes one stand out, then I'm as douche as the rest of them. My take on douchebaggery involves much more than wearing a heavy coat and sunglasses and carrying a messenger bag. There's a whole behavior-driven aspect of this cultural stain that is seen in the pics but that I don't find here.

I don't wear the ubiquitous North Face pullover with the skull cap and American Eagle jeans. I don't wear Dockers and tassel loafers. I also wear no bling, no massive label-whoring, no towering hair gel, no orange.

But after a week of wearing dark suits and polished dress shoes, it's nice to be able to wear something completely at odds from that. As a habit I dress differently, and have collected a lot of sportcoast and shirts from the 40s through the 70s.

So I wear a brown leather Brooks motocross jacket from the 60s. Or a corduroy blazer and jeans. I wear a black vintage overcoat and Docs. I have old ski sweaters from Norway and a very comfortable pair of 20 year-old Chucks that I still wear.

And yes -- I carry a messenger bag to work, by the way. Since I take haul stuff to and from, it's much easier than a briefcase and a little more grownup than a backpack.

So my point is -- I don't see different as the same as douche. Odd, yes. Weird, yes.

Douche, no.
 

Agree to disagree. And your comments have me intrigued enough to look up one of his songs. That said, his entire outfit is forgivable w/o the glasses. He put on a target there.

Another of my long-running takes is that we are all Douchey in some ways... over the top and aggressive about it is the trigger. I get your point for sure.

Rest assured, your boy won't win the weekly, nor is he in danger of the Hall.
 

Is this another one of those David Blaine stunts? Like he's dressing up as a douchebag for 30 days or something?
 

Funny that after 66 posts there's still no clear consensus on the status of this potential douche. I'm in a difficult situation here since I'm a big Devendra fan and can say without hesitation that he is enormously talented and actually writes a unique brand of folk that doesn't into fit the conventional mold of Pitchfork-generated indie repetition (even though I listen to a lot of it). I am also, however, tortured by the rank stench of Brooklyn hipster douchitude that radiates from this picture.

I've actually been waiting for this happen since I started coming to this site, seeing as that HCwDB is primarily comprised of bros, guidos, other clubtrash / frat-choad, etc., yet we all know that that there is plenty of douchebaggery in the realm of hipster/scenester/know-it-all skullfucks with tight-jeans and self-satisfied smirks. Yet in the indie/alternative music world there is a ton of talent that crosses-over with this demographic.
Most musicians that appeal to the hipster crowd don't actually look as silly and contrived as their fans do, but still there are some.

All of this, in turn, begs an essential question:
To what extent does artistic expression (paired with legitimate talent) redeem an exterior shell of preened, pompous douchitude? Mayerbag was a no brainer, but what do we do when someone snaps a pic of Tom Waits at a party with day-glo orange skin and a ten-degree-tilted Yankees cap (aka the day I gouge out my eyeballs with a rusty fork)?

I have no answers, just a bottle of whiskey with my name on it...
 

Senor & 'bagnum, do you have tunes / albums you suggest?

Senor, tomorrow I was thinking of wearing my Ecco loafers w/ some hunter green Dockers and a white collared shirt. I have a plain blue blazer and also kind of a more patterned one that looks good with the green. What do you think?
 

BL95 -- If you like what you wear and you feel it suits you and you feel good in it, by all means go for it. You'll know you look great and feel like yourself. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. What I think (or anyone else, except for your wife or girlfriend, maybe) shouldn't have anything to do with your self-satisfaction.

But If you're wearing it because it feels "safe" and you don't want to risk being singled out for looking conspicuous, then you might want to think again.

And Ecco makes one damn comfortable shoe. I like my Borns for the same reason. And I wore my navy blazer today on my day off.

As for Devendra, I suggest his "Cripple Crow" CD. For what it's worth, I like it.
 

And 'bagnum, I have no answers either.

The scenster phase in most peoples' lives is usually short-lived because it's too damned much work. Carrying around a shitload of irony full-time and reveling in poverty and social superiority gets tiresome when you watch your friends get real jobs and nice things once their student loans get paid down.

Plus, you don't get laid too much as a veteran hipster, unless you're into drug-addled, manic-depressive tattooed anorexics with abandonment issues.

Plus scensters/hipsters don't generally settle too long in any one place because as soon as their likes and haunts become known by more than six people, they've been "sold out" or "co-opted". Before you can say "Caribou" they're on to the next little thing.

They're a smelly blip on the douche radar.
 

@ bleethlvr905: Its hard to go wrong with the Cripple Crow and Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon discs. Pretty consistent. His rekkids bring to mind the very strange, early, mostly acoustic Tyrannasaurus Rex LP's, before the T. Rex glam thing - which was good too. There are also elements like fellow modern folk wierdo Iron & Wine. And, since he's Brazilian, there's fado and calypso spice in the broth.

@ bagnum p.i.: My view, seriously screwy as it is, is that Art trumps Douche. I say this because I don't hang out with the artist, I merely listen to them, watch them, or whatever. Tom Waits [thank you] is a prime example. No amount of even the most stereotypical Scrotal Regalia could render Waits douchey. It would just look ridiculous. The Choad trappings are only truly effective when mirroring the True Douche Within. Otherwise it is pretty obviously a costume.

We also may be overlooking a pink elephant in the room regarding the way this couple is dressed.

Maybe it was cold out.

I'm just sayin'...
 

We must keep in mind DB1 was obligated to post this photo. Likely the only reason it's here is because Egotastic recommended it.

I don't think you can be so purposefully & savagely unkempt as Banhart and be called a "douchebag" without the term losing meaning. Were The Beatles douchebags? The Band? Andy Warhol? Keep in mind that approximately 95% of ALL sunglasses look stupid.
 

That's Devendra Banhart you fucking idiot, he definitely isn't a douche.

He's covering up, but shit, he's a beautiful man.
 

bagnum its likely too late to matter but all musician douches have to rate on the pete wentz scale to count in my world...that douchebag is marrying my sweet innocent ashley
 

This picture really hurts me, I almost didn't want to believe it, but with photographic evidence I can't deny it. She is only into men who carry purses, therefore I am not her type.
 

hey devendra is the man! nowhere near an emo douche