Tuesday, April 22, 2008

 

Caption This Pic

TINY PACKAGE DELETED

Kimmy and Kelly knew that Todd's man-crush on The Gator went far, but not that far.
Comments:
Unholy Blue Triangle
 
Has anyone seen my coaster?
 
Dont you usually need something underneath to actually hide something?
 
You're 1 inch
 
You're 1 inch
 
It says #1 so he knows to pee.

I imagine it says #2 in the back.
 
2.30pm, poolside, Daytona Beach, Florida, 3 vaginas pose for a picture.
 
If you think my package is small now, wait to see it after I jump in that cold water.
 
These hotties are starting their annual "summer of small package tour",they may be in your neck of the woods one day.
 
uh, how short is that girl in the white bikini? She's boarder line midget status.
 
(c'mon Viagra! Goddamn it! Why won't this shit work?!?!?!)
 
"Jeff showing off by the pool after the first phase of his sex change."
 
Rehab,

Where even the tiniest package can score some hott. Come on down.
 
In japan, they tell me I'm hung like an elephant.
 
Not even these hotts can turn me not gay!
 
Because Tanya looked like a man, nobody gave her a hard time for going topless.
 
I have my lucky banana hammock on, why o why am I still getting turned down.
Turdacious
 
Feeling Hott, Hott, Douche
 
YEAH - with my elvis sideburns, glasses and tiny dick, NO ONE CAN RESIST ME!!!!
 
Tad with his deformity still managed to be able to pee, with just 4 fingers and a 1" dick.
Turdacious
 
This guy is sporting a vag.
 
Everybody wang chung tonite
 
It looks more like a steaming #2 than a #1.
 
Reuters-
-Unrest Today at Boca Raton Retirement Home-

Overcrowding cause a minor skirmish today at Shuffleboard Acres, a popular Boca Raton retirement home.
With all area hotels booked solid, spring breakers have been forced into unusual accomidations, and the results aren't always pretty.
Kimmy and Kelly McCans and Todd "Meatwad" Philpot were posing for some photos poolside today when the attack occurred.
Shuffleboard Acres resident Morty Kornfeld was taken in for questioning for
assaulting Mr. Philpot with cookout supplies.
"Morty just snapped," That's how Gert Higgins described the scenario,"And the next thing you knew, a Kingsford Matchlight struck that poor young man right upside his cheek!"
Shown in the photo is the moment of impact.
Charges won't be filed, as Mr. Philpot is a douchebag who considers it okay to wear stripper panties to public pools.
Kimmy And Kelly were treated and released for exposure to the Greico Virus, and left to continue spring break without their friend, who still can't believe he was "punked" by an 80 year old man.
 
OK! You got me, I'm number 4
 
Todd was furious when he found out his friends photoshopped his penis into a vagina and posted it on HCwDB.
 
Douche things come with small packages.
 
"cindy this vending machine isnt working.
i put the money in the top but theres nothing coming out down here."
 
Alas, puberty had missed the one area Lance had really been counting on.
 
Judge Wapner is on at 4 I never miss Judge Wapner
 
wanna know why my ego is so big?
 
Oh my god! It really is just like a penis, only smaller!
 
Unfortunately, the intense Douchebag therapy doesn't seem to provide symptomatic relief for Down Syndrome
 
Ahhhhhhhh........ it feels so good tucked underneath.
 
Lois and Rachael relive a childhood moment by dressing up their anatomically accurate life-size Speedo Ken doll.
 
Caption: Attack of the "1" inch PRICK

Douche-name: Blue Steele
 
When Brandon left for the pool with his friends, he couldn't understand why they told him to grab his socks...
 
He's number one alright. In the male camel-toe contest.

AV
 
Damn, that water must be cold!
 
"My friends call me Tiny; which I am."
 
Bonus!!!
Free shipping on all packages under 2 inches!!!!!!
 
"These chicks have a bigger dick than me."
 
"The scissors that lopped off my cock and balls looked just like this!"
 
"I am Lobster Boy and I am devoid of genitals!!!"
 
Ladies, if you think this is small wait till you see my tounge!
 
Maybe, just maybe if I have two hot blondes framing my package, no one will notice how small it is.
 
Hello, My name is todd and i'm hung like a horsefly.
 
"Wow, we're a lot a like!" says douche.

"How so?" says Nipping Tall Hott.

"You two are hot, like a Barbie. My pubic area is smooth and lacking any distinguishable genitalia, like a Barbie."
 
"Keep looking Brittany. He swears he's a guy."
 
"Damn! Next year I'm cutting my gay swimsuit budget and just going with a Dorito and some floss."
 
"Why are you #1? Because I'm a virgin." (weeping)
 
"I'm hung like an elevator button."
 
Said by Big Red on her knees:

"Her dick is bigger."
 
Blonde on knees services vienna sausage for a closer look at friends hatchet wound.
 
"I want to commit suicide."
 
Lars' brain exploding as he realizes what a giant putz he's become
 
Wanna know why my ego is so big??
 
"You're right Jenny the only penis I see is the douchebag standing in front of me."
 
Barbie twins found out from the manthong decal how Douche Lee coined the term " one inch punch"!
 
"Who's got four fingers and tiny junk? This guy!"
 
Guess you couldn't fit the six zeros following the 1 on there eh tiny?
 
There was shrinkage!!
 
White's fisting my ass with her other hand
 
And I'm enjoying it
 
"Chris's "1" on his speedo stood for "1 inch"....people found this to be pointing out the obvious as one can clearly see he isnt packing heat"
 
dildo baggins's bag inverse proportion law:

The bigger the douchebag, the smaller the gear.

Definitely true in this case.
 
Damn!, I'm too short to hang.
Turdacious
 
2+2 is? Fuck, I know this one.
Turdacious
 
One of the few guys that can have every lady he sleeps with go balls deep.
 
Good thing were lesbians...
 
So...which one of you two ladies likes baby dick?
 
"And that's when Kelly decided she didn't want her change purse back."
 
"Later that evening, Todd lost his swimsuit, so he had to use a Post-It instead. Luckily, the Post-It was more than large enough."
 
"Long Dong 'Sliver'"
 
Todd searched the sky for a plane. "Someday, I'll escape Tiny Penis Island and become a real boy," he thought.
 
That blue swimming suit is way too big for you, Todd.
 
Cindy and Tina began to laugh hysterically when they noticed Chase's raisin sack made Asian wangs look like Ron Jeremy's dick in comparison.
 
My manpon brings all the hotts to the yard, and their like, it's smaller than hell!
 
"Mary you're wrong. It doesn't look bigger the closer you get. Sir did you spray Axe on your junk too?"
 
Warning objects on douchebag may appear larger than they actually are.
 
"Cock-a-doodle-doo!"
 
When you're this big, they call you Ester.
 
"The Girls Gone Wild dudes pay me $20 a day just to hang around, bra! They say chicks naturally start gettin' it on with each other when I'm around! Ain't that cool?"
 
"Kimmy, who was tragically afflicted with a disorder that caused her throat to shrink to just 1 cm in diameter, finally found a guy she could deep throat."
 
"Todd would have totally been checking out the bods on Kim and Kelly, but he had to keep his head tipped back to prevent drool from running down his chin."
 
And with a deep mighty breath, Todd performed his sideshow caliber auto-tucking trick for the camera.
 
The sniper's bullet snapped his head back, and Mangina McGee breathed his last.
 
Even the sideburns of berber carpeting that he'd glued to his face were not enough to distract even the most casual observer from his shortcomings.
 
BabyJunk The Lobster Boy smiled - for he knew in his heart that a pity fuck was still a fuck.
 
"We don't douche in your ashtray, so please don't pee in our pool.

No, it's 'please don't pee on us, because we just douched in your ashtray.'

No, wait, it's 'we just crapped in your oven; will you pee on our pool douche?'

Ahhh, shit, just call Mr. White; he'll know."
 
After watching Kimberly kneel at Biff's greasy codpiece, Becky thought to herself "There but for the grease of cod go I".


bad pun. sorry.
 
Todd knew it wasn't the most flattering suit, but it made carrying a roll of dimes so convenient.
 
The sequel to Edward Scissorhands was done with a shoe-string budget.
 
"Unholy Blue Triangle."
HA!
"Tiny Penis island."
HA!
"Grease of cod."
HA!
This one's killin' me. Strong work, fellows.
 
The feel of his mother's bare warm supple flesh against his own set off another spasm of self-immolation in Oedipus.
 
Ronnie's poolside bikini-top ass flossing service proved to be an instant hit at the San Destin Hilton.
 
In spite of being born without neck vertabrae Nick still managed to have a small penis.
 
"We know who's smuggling a Lortab in his briefs!"
 
If thats a mangina, can that suit really be considered a plum smuggler
 
Jed's skull tottered about wildly and finally slipped back with a sickening crack as his neck failed under the immense strain of his sideburns.
 
"FOUR! I DOTS FOUR BOOGIES!!!"
 
We make new cock-flavored Doritos the old fashioned way; one pelvic thrust at a time.
 
Kimmy & Kelly: "When we said we were looking for a little cock tonight, we didn't mean it literally."
 
Todd wins in a landslide for Douchebag of the week. Hott's had nothing to do with it.
 
After saving cereal box tops for years Billy finally realized his dream
 
Billy Proudly displayed his Grandmother's birthday gift
 
"We feel safe. He uses steroids so we know its too small for anything else." - Hot Chicks Comment
 
biggest
clitoris
ever

...wait
 
Moments later, Todd was taken away during the Rapture of the Douche, leaving Kimmy and Kelly to discover the mysteris of sapphic lust.
 
All play and no dick makes Jack a friggin douchebag!
 
Is that a pimple in your thong or are you just happy to see these girls?
 
Two drunk Tara Reid hotts pose with an anatomically incorrect mannequin.
 
"He'd tape his dick to his leg but it wouldn't reach.", white was heard to exclaim.
 
Todd reared back in anguish as he realized the Genie had heard his final wish for some wheels with a zodiac sticker ....I SAID A LITTLE BLUE MAN'S VAN/ARIES not a little blue Mons Veneris!
 
I stole these panites from my striper girlfriend and she stole my junk, so now I have nothing to put in the thong.
 
I think DB should post his pick of the caption litter on the front page just like the haiku's.
 
Your #1 i would hardly refer to as a 3rd leg.
 
I just saw Xenu naked and this is what happened to my penis
 
"EAT YOUR HEART OUT, JOHN MAYER!!!"
 
Hung like a flea and proud of it.
 
Little did he know it, but Sandy and Camy were actually into #2.

(Sorry if this is a repeat. No time to read this week)
 
"GODDAMMIT AM I SEXY!!! WOOOOO!!!!"
 
"Has anyone seen my toy Volkswagon Beetle's car hood?"
 
Cock-a-doodle DON'T
 
(To himself)

OMG, I hope they know about "pool shrinkage"!!!
 
Halfway to gender reassignment and Tom began to wonder if his life altering choice wasn't made in haste after noshing with Pammy and Kim poolside.
 
Everyone laughed at me when I showed them my Prince Albert but after hiring these two hookers to pose with me they'll be sorry.
 
I had a midget girlfriend once.

I was nuts over her!

Il Douché
 
i dont think this pic qualifies.

doesnt the douchebag actually have to have a douchebag?
 
Good things come in small packages?
Uh, maybe not.
 
I gotta say I kinda like this guy. It takes balls to wear a mankini when you have none.
 
"Hey, where's the penis in between us?"
 
"ah! keep pushing! I know you can get at least one more gerbil up my ass!"
 
Standing Blond through Gritted Teeth - Your closer can you see anything?

Blond on Knees - No... Nothing.
 
Posh and Ginger were shocked at Sporty's new look but were too nice to say anything to her face.
 
Looks like a Man-Gina to me.
 
Hung like Christmas decorations in July.

What, there's no Christmas decorations hung in July?

Exactly.
 
I am Little Elvis!
 
My hand signal? It means I got a 2 inch Weaner!
 
What gave you the idea that I am a late bloomer?
 
Hung like a Eunuch.
 
MISSY: Why does he keep saying "it puts the lotion on its skin"?

KRISSY: No idea...
 
the small package
 
Hung like a newborn.
 
banana hammock bag
 
"Zed dead! Gimp FREEEEEEEEEEEE!"
 
recently names the #1 purveyor of HPV in the greater Sackramenot area.
 
Sackramento. goddamnit.
 
named. god, damn, it.
 
"The Sac-people are easily startled but they will soon be back and in greater numbers..."
 
Seizure, brb...
 
PIC DELETED

"Picking on somebody with a little dick is like picking on somebody with a handicap"

Not another Scary Movie:The Wayans Brothers
 
It may be short but it is thin as hell!
 
I knew this pic will be removed. Too good to last. LOL!
 
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