Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Cowbag / Not a Cowbag
Cowbag probably isn't true douche, although the shaved chest and rippling face that looks like Lake Winnipesaukee after six jetski Hells Angels rode through its waters definitely are punchable.
But hey, if Stripper Hott's body were any tighter it'd fuse oxygen into ozone. And by oxygen, I mean me. And by ozone, I mean me after coitus.
So yeah, Cowbag's not really classic douche. But I'm going with it.
Mainly because exposure to the new Carmine Gotti Song is so nauseating, its core radiating Jersey douchosity so foul, I need a little counterpoint.
Cowbag and his stripper hott are definitely that counterpoint.
EDIT: Apparently they're a famous celebridouche couple in Britain. Which is kind of like being the best juggler in Armlessland. I don't know what that means, but it sounds good.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:30 PM 
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They are the famous Euro couple Katie Price & her husband, they even have a reality show, so they are professional douches.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_(Katie_Price)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_(Katie_Price)
# posted by 
: 7:51 PM
: 7:51 PM
anon is right -- this is the london equivalent of pam anderson and tommie lee. it's katie price (a.k.a. "jordan") and peter andre. is there a stage 6 of doucheyness, because they're way up there!
# posted by : 8:02 PM
: 8:02 PM
I think I find her funnier looking than him.
She's a fucking cultural wreck for sure.
She's a fucking cultural wreck for sure.
# posted by : 8:15 PM
: 8:15 PM
Yep. It's "glamour model" Jordan -- who had her implants REMOVED recently -- went dark off-black up top and changed her name back to "Katie Price". She's married to Australian pop star Peter Andre, who's kind of like the Oz version of John Mayer.
Only more talented.
And yes, they actually named their youngest daughter Princess Tiaamii.
Crackheads, both of them.
Only more talented.
And yes, they actually named their youngest daughter Princess Tiaamii.
Crackheads, both of them.
And I'm glad you totally enjoyed the Gotti track, DB1.
It's uploaded to your ipod and you're listening to it right now!
I just know it!
It's uploaded to your ipod and you're listening to it right now!
I just know it!
knowing they are english imo makes them douche by proxy before any other evidence can be considered...
what is up with the panama section of her underoos, it either has some under structure pressing into her thighs or she is seriously bowlegged...
what is up with the panama section of her underoos, it either has some under structure pressing into her thighs or she is seriously bowlegged...
# posted by : 9:31 PM
: 9:31 PM
god.
damn.
it.
okay, because of the success of the site, we are now being inundated by too many douches to judge. they're like fire ants. i am concerned about the purity of the original intent. i really don't want to be the fundamentalist suicide bagger, but i really need some facsist law laid down by db1.
redefine our scrote standard.
please.
goddamnit.
damn.
it.
okay, because of the success of the site, we are now being inundated by too many douches to judge. they're like fire ants. i am concerned about the purity of the original intent. i really don't want to be the fundamentalist suicide bagger, but i really need some facsist law laid down by db1.
redefine our scrote standard.
please.
goddamnit.
man, peter andre had some super 'awesome' hits back here in australia in the early 90's (he's Aussie)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kDLW9vHOBiM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x9YHg07NLLc
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kDLW9vHOBiM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x9YHg07NLLc
I'm not even going to discuss this trick and this "gentleman", there's nothing real on either of these people.
I'd much rather discuss the "music" that some dude who is famous because of his asshole father and grandfather made. He's like the Paris Hilton of douches... wait that's redundant, shit. Now, the fact that folks like Paul Weller and Bob Mould get no play in America (unless we're in 1980 and listening to The Jam or Husker Du respectively) and we can get no talent sons of mobsters even being discussed shows how far we have fallen. Almost as much as some whore who married a douche and is famous for taking her clothes off like Jorda.... SHIT, fuck it, I'm done.
I'd much rather discuss the "music" that some dude who is famous because of his asshole father and grandfather made. He's like the Paris Hilton of douches... wait that's redundant, shit. Now, the fact that folks like Paul Weller and Bob Mould get no play in America (unless we're in 1980 and listening to The Jam or Husker Du respectively) and we can get no talent sons of mobsters even being discussed shows how far we have fallen. Almost as much as some whore who married a douche and is famous for taking her clothes off like Jorda.... SHIT, fuck it, I'm done.
Fake Tan in Britain is an automatic promotion to stage 5 Douche. Add in the Cowboy hat and it's off to the Douche internment camp with you.
As for the implants on stilts...does nothing for me. It's chilly in here. Rub those legs together and start a fire, mate.
As for the implants on stilts...does nothing for me. It's chilly in here. Rub those legs together and start a fire, mate.
# posted by : 2:08 AM
: 2:08 AM
I just set my cowboy hat on fire.
And don't ask why I even had one in the first place!
And don't ask why I even had one in the first place!
# posted by : 3:42 AM
: 3:42 AM
Oh, thankee for that Gotti clip, DB1. Now if you'll excuse me I must cut a D battery into two ragged halves and grind them into my eyes and ears. I hope something bad happens to that boy's family, like his dad getting sodomized in prison or something.
Anon 12:58 AM - damn you. I coulda seen both the 'mats and husker du (would SOMEBODY tell me where the umlaut button is on this blogger thing???) both within weeks of each other but noooooo, too busy in studio getting projects done for my Professors, who DID get to go see them. fuck.
bleethlvr: "Woody Harreldouche w/ Downs Syndrome"? Isn't that redundant? Hey Woody, Willie Nelson called; he said "Boy, lay off that shit a little".
Anon 12:58 AM - damn you. I coulda seen both the 'mats and husker du (would SOMEBODY tell me where the umlaut button is on this blogger thing???) both within weeks of each other but noooooo, too busy in studio getting projects done for my Professors, who DID get to go see them. fuck.
bleethlvr: "Woody Harreldouche w/ Downs Syndrome"? Isn't that redundant? Hey Woody, Willie Nelson called; he said "Boy, lay off that shit a little".
Well, Jordan and Peter Andre are pro-douche all the way, and aren't really all that offensive.
Actually, I think I've just grown immune to caring about them by now.
Actually, I think I've just grown immune to caring about them by now.
# posted by : 4:38 AM
: 4:38 AM
Puh-lease. I live in Texas, and this outfit equates to instant massive douche. Jackasses like this are all over, usually found driving massive Ford Fuck You Mobiles from their suburban homes to their office jobs.
Unless you live on a ranch, you have no business playing dressup as cowboys. You're a grown man, and it's not Halloween, you moron.
If somehow the Village People were holding auditions next door when this was taken, I take it all all back. Otherwise, massive douche.
Unless you live on a ranch, you have no business playing dressup as cowboys. You're a grown man, and it's not Halloween, you moron.
If somehow the Village People were holding auditions next door when this was taken, I take it all all back. Otherwise, massive douche.
It's the demon spawn of Woody Harrelson and Tom Arnold!
I vote bag. not horrible but still bag.
I vote bag. not horrible but still bag.
# posted by : 5:58 AM
: 5:58 AM
I gottta go with cowbag.When I think of cowboys Clint and the Duke come to mind.I don't rekon they would sport bling,shave their chest or have a fake tan.
# posted by : 6:18 AM
: 6:18 AM
LMAO!, A cowboy with his shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button..OH no, thats not even close to being a bag. RIGHT!
Her legs look deformed
Her legs look deformed
# posted by : 6:19 AM
: 6:19 AM
that ridiculous song by Gotti made me laugh out loud. he simply sucks. it's that kind of crap that gives rap a bad name. but thanks just the same DB1. i needed the laugh.
If you need convincing search youtube for 'mysterious girl' by peter andre and then tell he he doesn't deserve a shot at the title of "douche for a life"
# posted by : 7:37 AM
: 7:37 AM
Yes, this guy is really a douche DB1 - you need to find some more pics of him - he would be hands down Douche Bag of the Year! I think they have footy of him waxing his bunghole somewhere.....does that qualify?
# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM
Let me just say that being a resident of Fort Worth, TX, this guy would not last 8 seconds in the world's largest honky tonk that graces Main Street - AKA Billy Bob's.
This choad would be hogtied, beaten, and left for dead in a pit of horse manure almost as fast as he could enter the bar.
This choad would be hogtied, beaten, and left for dead in a pit of horse manure almost as fast as he could enter the bar.
# posted by : 7:56 AM
: 7:56 AM
This guy, Peter Andre, was a very ordinary pop singer during the 90's, down here in Australia, before he was banished to England. He was widely considered to be gay, and was well known to show off his abs. at any given opportunity.....the Ab Lobster pales in comparison to how bad this guy was......music video clips of his crap songs, photo shoots, red carpet arrivals etc.....shirt was always open and fingers pointed to the abs.
# posted by : 8:38 AM
: 8:38 AM
Oh, I nearly forgot......yes, he is a major Douche.....HOS material.....just @google Peter Andre for unlimited proof
# posted by : 9:02 AM
: 9:02 AM
His douche credentials are impeccable: oversized hat, popped collar with open shirt exposing shaved chest, ass-chin contorted into some kind of a pseudo-smirk, string tie that is supposed to be worn over the shirt but instead occupying the empty spot left by the temporary absence of bling.
She, on the other hand, is heavily bleethed out with way too much eye makeup. Could be a bad picture, but thumbs down on her hott status.
She, on the other hand, is heavily bleethed out with way too much eye makeup. Could be a bad picture, but thumbs down on her hott status.
# posted by : 11:51 AM
: 11:51 AM
WAIT... there's a GUY in this picture.. i cant tell cause she is SO FREAKING HOT
# posted by : 12:19 PM
: 12:19 PM
@douche bigelow
Howdy Douchie indeed, his youtube videos confirm lame poser.
"Big Hat No Cattle"
Oh, and Fish Slap FUCK HIM
Howdy Douchie indeed, his youtube videos confirm lame poser.
"Big Hat No Cattle"
Oh, and Fish Slap FUCK HIM
# posted by : 1:39 PM
: 1:39 PM
Bono and Quinten Tarantino's retarded douchie lovechild gropes a bottom half babe.
Scary Mary..and by scary i mean her legs hips ass waist regions should be cast in bronze and put on display in the Louvre.
Scary Mary..and by scary i mean her legs hips ass waist regions should be cast in bronze and put on display in the Louvre.
he is the Cowboy from Innerspace (anyone remember that?)
She is the tightest pair of thighs on earth
She is the tightest pair of thighs on earth
# posted by : 10:04 PM
: 10:04 PM
She is a full on skank. Horrible. How could anyone find her attractive? And him...you American folks should look up his music video for "Mysterious Girl". Laughable. Douche. Twat.
# posted by : 6:52 AM
: 6:52 AM
Nothing like a bolo tie to accentuate the sizzle chest! Does he play bass for Keith Urban? Did she ask her plastic surgeon for the "Tighty Armani" special on her legs? All she needs is a mandana tied to her thigh. Maybe she can borrow one from her hubby. You know he has several. Limey cunt.
# posted by : 7:57 AM
: 7:57 AM
"best Juggler in Armlessland" Really? I love the site, and the exposing of this utterly life-demeaning phenomenon but sometimes you've got a serious case of verbal-diarrhea going on. Edit!
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