Greetings from the Stone Harbor MENSA chapter!
 

PANCAKE! and his male hair clientele......douchetabulous!
 

If he's half as clever as DB1 (he's not), the haterzthatdrinkfromdouchebags.com
idea could work. I encourage him to try it... Only mostly because it'd be a lot of fun to slap a massive "FAIL" tag on his ass.
 

That's great. I contend that we need a Best Fan Mail category this year at the Douchies. I believe this may be the 2nd worthy entry.

How come all the anons that right to the DB1 has bad speling and grammer?
 

How exactly did Pancake lose the Monthly? I sense a lot of A. Gorillas and Keyzer Soze voted, somebody call Mayor Daley
 

Perhaps this is from a douche who has seen the writing on the wall, and by that I mean his reflection in the mirror, and realized what a douche he is. It may be a slow process back to normalcy, and right now he has some anger issues. If he didn't stink so bad of cologne and grease, i'd offer a hug. and by that I mean a kick off a pier.
 

Whatever...
 

Um. Anon spelled "haters" wrong. Just thought I'd point that out.
 

Hiding behind a laptop?

Is this idiot for real?

There's a picture of DB1 on the very top of the sidebar on the site, with his location. He hides from no douche.

to the anonymous fan responsible for that little waste of a hatemail:

You're a fucking disgrace to the name "anonymous" you uneducated pole smoking little bitch.

You think DB1 does this for a living? He has a real job that doesn't include flipping burgers or replacing urinal screens.

Making fun of douchebags like you who can't tell the difference between the words "your" and "you're", is just a fun hobby that netted him a book deal.

What have your hobbies of being a worthless gelled up loser with no self respect gotten you?

Eat your fucking heart out, when you're done with that dick in your mouth.
 

Look at that girl-next-door hott on the right. How sad!

Does she not know that beauty fades by the stench of the douche on your couch is forever.

kingcityDouche
 

Ha! It's the return of the douche from yesterdays post, Amy's Bag Tag!

The hilarity continues.

Internetz r seriuz biznis.

What a choad.
 

Nice 15 year-old wigger catch phrase grammar ya got going there, Anonymous. That Princeton education is really paying off in spades for ya....

In other news,I need to cover pancake's hott in butter & syrup, 'cause she's just that yummy.

Is that another member of the Beetlejuice fanclub on the left?
 

Nice Douchepoint..... Token!!!
 

Db1 you are the man. I wonder how much money you've cost private industry and government agencies alike in “time” we spend blogging on your site, when we should be working. Cheers to you DB1 you give us a reason to come to work. (Besides child support) Fu*k that dude...fu*k him with Paris Hiltons soggy herpes infested vagina may the satanic rats eat his penis when he is burning in the deepest most depraved regions of hell.

You rock Db1 (wipes away tear)
 

What a piece of shit. Joey Porsche has more class than you you Cocksucker. DB1 is a man among men- I see that we've struck a nerve here, what, exposing you nutless asshats who are so afraid you're gonna get your asses kicked you're always carrying a gun. The kind that walk the other way when you see a scuffle in a bar. The kind that run and hide- unless there's a chance to get your picture taken with some hot chick you don't EVEN KNOW!!! Yes, this means YOU. We are disgusted by your buffoonery. And we feel sorry for the hotts that may have had a future if not for their skewed perception after you spent the last $130 you have in the world on drinks. You suck. I would only refer you to the shower scene in American History X. Just call me Kobe, motherfucker.
 

Afro Douche! Too much!
 

Paris Hilton's Soggy herpes infested vagina...Hilton's
 

Bad Hair Day X 5 - 6 if you count the picture on the wall.
 

I demand a recount. Pancake deserved to win the monthly and the hate mail proves it!!!!! haterz.

RU-FI-0000000000000000000000000000!!!!

that email was classic though. i agree with scrotebob douchepants.
 

xenu already owns the domain haterzthatdrinkfromdouchebags.com
 

Pancake? And a rare Brothabag sighting? And is that Seth Green in the back left there? I always liked him, I hope he hasn't started running with this crowd.
 

We're so quick to jump to the defense of the much-exalted Douchebag1 that we almost forgot he forgot to post his own comment for this entry. This is a picture worth at least 4000 words. I cannot recall having seen the "W" hand-signal for starters. Then there's outfits, tats, hair in everywhich direction, not to mention a 2-to-1 DB to hot chick ratio.

Perhaps his exaltedness just wanted to highlight the degree to which he's needed in the world by throwing this picture into the world without so much a word.

I don't know. He is wise, and who am I to question his ways?
 

Mua hahahahahahahahahaha. Oh man that's good stuff.

So on to this travesty of a picture ... the only good thing I can say is that it's a testament to modern technology that the lends didn't shatter upon having the shutter lifted. How exactly does one indicate a plurality of douchebags? A bushel? A gaggle? A gargle perhaps?

Either way, I'd like to nominate whatever latitude and longitude this pic was taken at for a new missile testing site.
 

Apparently anon-a-choad is somewhere on the site. Perhaps in the Hall of Scrote.

Now, who could it be?
 

High school douche-prose.
 

WHY DO I LOVE IT WHEN HATERZ OF THIS SITE WRITE IN?
 

dear annonymous,

your retarded
 

check out the pancake's airbrush portrait on the wall. Bruce Lee meets Phil Spector. He is immortal now. I'll have to check the goodwill for that one in three weeks when douchie style changes.

I like the crasher scrote who is drinking all the douche's amaretto though. I hope he spilled it on that smug brillo pad below

oh, and those nice fake boobies that are holding up Amber Bleeth's shirt. I wonder if she got that shirt when she slept with TA
 

This fan mail reeks of "He Just Babgs Bitches and Drinks".
 

This fan mail reeks of "He Just Babgs Bitches and Drinks".
 

I hate to point out the obvious anon but, you misspelled your own name and misused the possessive "your" rather than the contraction "you're". Who's the 'tard?
 

Let me try that again... "He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks"
 

Clearly if your e mailing DB-1 with comments like that your scanning the site to see if your DQ (Douche Quotient) is high enough to qualify for a place on these hallowed pages. Get terminal you frickin' losers
 

I really wish this picture had been called "Blackhawk Down".
 

Second thought, I must be out of touch because I use gel, but it is to keep my hair down.....
 

Dear Ed,

Though I like you, I must say that perhaps your retarded to.

With love,

anon.
 

Holy Hieroglyphics

WTF is the douchetoude trying to say in his email?

I need to review "The Douvinche Code" cause that hater email is a real decoder's nightmare. I was thinking ROT13, but it looks more like Douche13.

I like little hott in the front, but something tells me she's trying to show us her bat wings...I'd be happy to pin the back for her.

DJ
 

Dude, why you gotta hate on DB1's central processing unit?

Hater in the house!
 

Anon 10:57am

I realize you used the incorrect form of "your" as an attempt to drive rage throughout the comments.

You're abuzed uze of da word 'to' verzus 'too' is barbaric and unmanly, quite the douchotomy you are.

DJ
 

Pancake!!! This fucking Ass Clown kills me! Only a make up wearing scrote would rep the Shocker in such a fashion. There is no denying that Pancake is a tool and thus his response is expected, however can you blame the guy for sucking considering the company he keeps.

FroHawk, Chin Pubes, Stage 2 Grieco-Bag, Double Red Bull and Vodka, Douchie White yankee Hat/Popped Collar in the Background, and BLEETHS.

Thank you Pancake,I will mock you so much more now.
 

wowzers...

where to begin?

it would seem that our esteemed e-mailer is upset. why? perhaps he was featured on the site, and the mocking brought back those horrible emeories from grade school, when he ran home from school crying because cindy called him a dork and kneed him in the nuts.
and in the ensuing years, he carefully built up his badass new image, with help from maxim magazine, mtv and the million commercials that told him he was special, he just needed to buy the right things to show it.
and so here we are. our writer, teetering on emotional collapse because his world, so carefully constructed (i mean copied) is crumbling down all around him. and who better to blame than anyone else but himself? that's the way of the douchebag. all style, no substance.

and i use the word "style" VERY loosely.

what's even funnier is the fact that he accuses DB1 of hiding behind his laptop, yet our writer signs his e-mail anonymous.

classic.

so to you, dear anonymous, good luck in the future.

it's a hard road to walk with no sense of humor.



lighten up, dipshit.



as for the pic....


when did corey glover start playing basement parties?
 

As for the pic-

Douchebags are an EEOC employer
 

see? i TOLD you guys to vote for Pancake in the Monthly.

haterz.
 

COREY GLOVER!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Awesome
 

COREY GLOVER!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Awesome
 

DJ,

your correct about my usage of "to" when I reall meant "too". It was barbaric. I got carried away by all the attention Ed gave me.

I am clearly a douche.
 

As for the pic--

Clearly there is nothing in the lexicon to brotha 'bag's 'do. I suggest "bro-hawk."

I admire blonde girl's sass.
 

Xenu just caused my CPU to crash. Gee, thanks, haterz-hater.
 

Throughout history all creators of great things have been misunderstood. The brainwashed bag masses with their ill gotten rebel images will no doubt push the envelope of scrotiness until the will and better judgment of the public demands its proper documentation, classification and study. When we reach that precipice DB1 will be declared a national hero, perhaps receiving the Nobel Piece Prize, being properly acknowledged as a champion for all mankind.
 

Yes Son that was me - how did you know? Now back up to your room.
 

Yes Son that was me - how did you know? Now back up to your room.
 

About once a month DB1 posts a pic for which only one response is truly appropriate:

"What the Fuck?"
 

"And this year for Halloween I dressed up as a ...."
 

What I like best about that post wa the idea that someone actully saw thier picture on the site and flew off the handle as they realized thier douchocity was undeniable.

Dont ever change Douches we love to laugh at the absurdity of all that is you.
 

The boys of the Flaming Douche Posse were probably just leaving their hotel room and going out to celebrate their new cum-based pomade hair product when they ran into the semi-hotts.
 

I know King Douchuous, and you my friend are no King Douchuous. Off with his head!!!!
 

Re: RU-FI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I was searching desperately through the comments trying to remember the character's name and praying someone else recognized the lostboybagness. TY sir.
 

Is that a painting of The Pancake.. behind The Pancake
oh wait it Freda Kahlo.....never mind you Haterz
 

One of these things is not like the other one of these things just doesn't belong.........
 

Haterz has some very valid points. I feel as if I am drinking from Douchebags on a daily basis. It is my nectar. It fuels my sense of well being. Also, I clearly did not get enought attention in high school. I can't speak for DB1 on this, but all the other guys did get all the cute boys I liked... oops, I mean girls. Not to claim I have Mr. Sock or DB1 talents, but I am very good at parallel parking as well as sorting. One of my talents is NOT in picking hair gels nor ridiculous hair styles.

I sure hope my CPU doesn't crash.

One love, Haterz. Respect.
 

You're You're You're You're

For the love of f@#kn clowns, YOU'RE!
 

Hater mail ALWAYS makes my week special two to too!!
 

FINALLY!!! A picture smuggled out of the United Nations Douche Club!!
 

OK Hops..

I finally realize that it is not so funny. You're remarks make me see that this is getting tired. I will try to be less of a scrote.

Thanks,

Annonymous
 

This picture looks like the new cast for the 2008 version of 21 Jump Street

Oh and anon who wrote in, next time I see you cleaning my rental at Enterprise please remember to smile when you hand me the keys.

USS Douchenbag
 

Awesome. The comment really validates the douchiness!
 

Also, I thought it was "hot chicks with douchebags" not "kinda all right chicks with douchebags"
 

ScroteBob DouchePants, you do know that it is spelled grammar and not grammer right?
 

Did these guys all just happen to have bedhead or did something scare them? Maybe they saw their reflections in the mirror as this picture was being taken.
 

Good God. This is a rare shot indeed: a Brothabag and a Persian Bag, in ONE SINGLE PIC. What luck! Baghunters everywhere are brought to tears and speechless wonder.
 

Haha, sounds like someone's a teensy bit jealous that he didn't have the good idea first. OR, he's been labeled a douchebag for all to see. Poor poor disillusioned idiot, my heart bleeds for you.

haha
 

@batou: A gargle of douchebags...

rotflmao!
 

I think someone was a little disappointed about just how lowly they ranked on the grand social scale of life.

Here is my take on upping the quality of anonymous' writing:

"You're an idiot. I bet if you and some mouth watering hotty where photographed together, you'd probably find the photo would fit right into your own collection of human douchey degeneracy. How dare you hide behind your laptop and spread such electronic cancer collected merly from haters? I really need to create the website hatersthatdrinkfromdouchebags.com!

I have to ask, did you get enough attention in high school? Did the other guys get all the cute boys - oh sorry, I mean girls. My bad! *giggle* Its very amusing what people will try to exploit for a career. Being the talentless waste of life you are, you still don't have the right to slander the hyperpigmentated. But alas, you are a clown and I hope your website crash.

Truly Yours,"

Funny how a rewrite can make it feel like it has a point... a point that I don't care about, but at least its a point and not a complete waste of binary that I can only pray bit rots.

Seriously, I hate how most people just can't seem to make their writing terse and flowing. Or vary vocabulary. Or follow something even vaguely resembling proper grammar. Or choose to bowdlerize swear words by obfuscating them with symbols. Is wit becoming a lost art? I know my writing isn't perfect but its writing samples like this that makes me want to pick up another language and abandon English forever.
 

Oh come on kid. Grow a sense of humor.... step away from the self tanner.... smooth back the faux hawk... button that silk/poly blend shirt up... step away from the Hooters Girl... and you and your buddy with the camera go back to the cribizzle and snuggle.
 

Awww. :-(

Don't feel bad, DB1. Come to Mama Cleo, you can snuggle my girlz while I rock you to take the pain away. ;)
 

ah the glorious and triumphant return of Pancake....

Whats with the house party hair/hawk thing?
 

a prison-striped rep tie?
why, brothabag, WHYYYYYY???? *weep*
 

"brohawk"

I don't care who ya are, that's Funny!
 

DUDE YOU NEED TO MAKE A WEBSITE CALLED OVERLYDEFENSIVEDOUCHEBAGS.com
 

Josh:

You need to FIND YOUR ALL CAPS KEY AND TURN IT OFF.
 

Testing my posts...
 

doesn't pancake eerily resemble Lo-Pan from Big Trouble in Little China?
 

Thou hast besmirched the name "anonymous" foul wretch. It pains me greatly to continue to write under such a pseudonym wilst cur-spawned, abject failures at life cower beneath the title to protect their fragile underdeveloped spines. You, my good sir, are a coward and a buffoon, and deserve nothing more than a swift enema from an unstable silverback gorilla in heat. Come anons, we must redeem our name!
 

Hey DB1, the hate mail is absolute greatness. 'Bags trying to engage in a battle of wits with a Sicilian when death is on the line...you can't beat it.
 

I see PANCAKE!!!!!!
 

I LOVE FAG MAIL....OOPS I MEAN FAN MAIL.
 

bro-hawk?!

Aw CRAP! That's the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! We need to get that in the dictionary, with a picture of this poor scrote-let as the definition.
 

"Haterz." Yes, the use of the 'z' is blatant douchebaggery.
 

I thought they all knew they looked ridiculous. My bad. Nice to see Chris Paltrow gets out of the house every once in awhile. I always knew he was a douche. Is that apple juice?

I can just picture them getting ready for a night out.

"Awesome facial hair.....check."
"Bling Bling.......check."
"Bad ass tats.....showing"
"Hair......bangin'"
"Scent...'Really Ripped Abs'"
"Douche Face....on"
"Hand Gesture....freestyle."
"Douche Crew.....in tow."
"Renee Zelwegger & Sarah Michelle Gellar....tappin' that"

Hijinks ensue.
 

the scary thing is: i'm foreign... and i can tel the difference between your and you're...


oh america I'm worried for thee
 

Hey here is a clue if your mad at being called a douche, perhaps you are a douche, you fu45ing douche.
 

Hey here is a clue if your mad at being called a douche, perhaps you are a douche, you fu45ing douche.
 

I would just like to point out that you used the incorrect form of "your". You were looking for you're (as in no, YOU'RE an idiot). Also, in English it is, in fact, incorrect to pluralize a word with a Z. Thank you for showing us exactly why you belong on this page. Hats-off to you, sir.
 

Awwwwwwwww, are the modern day road warriors angry?
 

wow that guy is a jerk, if you look as ridiculous as the cats on this site, you NEED to be mocked. especially since they have somehow drawn within 50 feet of the fairer sex. to all those douchebags out there i just wanna say please wear a rubber for the sake of the next generation, destined to be mostly degenerate anyway.

-A.E.
 

Your mom is pretty sensitive...
 

Douche on Right is some cutting room floor Gay Manga character gone disastrously astray. Hershel Walker's hanging with the wrong crowd these days. There's no hair jell left on the shelves within twenty miles of these three scrotes.
-grimatongueworm
 

Damn, so THAT'S what would happen if Rufio hooked up with David Bowie from Labyrinth. I was about to call not-A-Douche on the add-a-douche in the back, then I noticed he was rockin' the stealth version of Douche hand gesture #54. I would really worry about the influence of Pancake on the Hott population, as he is clearly gay and just does their hair. Hell, he's probably still hiding his relationship with He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks from his parents.
 

I meant "wouldn't worry"
 

I love this site. You guys keep me from hugging the third rail some days. Hahaha.

"Brohawk" is fuckin priceless. Blondie looks like a real missile twister.

I wish the painting of Christopher Walken in the background would shoot fire out of it's eyes and destroy this mess (sans blondie, of course). With the amount of hair product and dried up man-glue in this picture, I'd imagine you wouldn't need much of a flame. Just a spark would probably do.

Where's my Bic?
 

The chin pubes on three-finger douche were left there by his boyfriend's nuts.

And that fauxhauk on zebra-tie douche is just ... what the fuck, there are no words.
 

this picture makes me wish for a dushkru of the month/week award... if there was these guys would be mount rushmore worthy
 

Oh the vitriol. "Haterz, I wish upon you NOT only that your site crash, but your CPU as well."

Sheesh, Can't believe what people are trying to make a living "off of."

Seriously, that was funny. Must encourage "f@#kn" douche fan mail.
 

so. much. rage. can't. find. shift key. can't. capitalize. beginning. of sentences. Gah!

Seriously, if we're such despised, trollish, haterade drinkin' nerds, then why do you care what we say about your ridiculous hair, bizarre clothes, and hilarious hand gestures? You SHOULD create that website. You can put allllll of us on it. And we won't care. We won't even go there. But then I'm sure it won't last long, as your coke addled attention span will soon leave it behind.

Oh, look! In the picture! It's Wham going for a night out on the town.

Uncle Phinn
 

That reads like my cousin's baby daddy wrote that
 

Wow this guy is pathetic. Only some insecure little bitch would write in and complain about being hated on. Definite 'bag status, especially starting off with "your a f@#king idiot" with the obvious grammar errors. Could this be Joey P and his boys? No, I think it's the elusive Bagfoot!
 

so did anyone notice the "douche self portrait" to the right of asian douche.
 

"Brohawk" is the funniest thing I have ever heard..
 

they all win their own douche category;
the black guy wins "i'm a douche because i think i can pull anything off".
the asian guy wins "hair metal meets glam punk was still cool in japan when i got off the boat".
the middle guy is trying to be a member of nsync, near their end...
...not even when they were cool
and the guy holding up the drink is blatantly screaming "i'm not gay but when i'm drunk i like to touch guys on the shoulder"
 

i think this is where "daisy" from daisy of love hunted down her "hopefuls" XD