Monday, April 21, 2008
HCwDB of the Week
After every Monthly vote, the Weekly has to account for two weeks of pics instead of one. Mainly because I'm too lazy to run a Weekly and a Monthly in the same week. That usually means an extra special serving of hott/scrote for your perusal and judgment, and this week's finalists don't disappoint. Each offer their own pungent smell of wrong.
So, without further apoo, here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Prince of Pud
This is a classic anger-inducing combo. Sure, the Prince of Pud isn't as cartoonishly spectacle as some of the more extreme 'bags. But he's got all the factors of wrong in one greased up package of what I term "reality douche." He's real. And that's what hurts.
And then there's blonde Susan Winterbottom, descendant of the Mayflower, daughter of the revolution, getting back at her waspy parents and aristocratic life by partying with Tony Florencio here.
The brunette kissing Pud looks to be delectable. And there's a red cup and Prince Caspian in the background. All taking place in what appears to be a neo-Nazi bunker. Yikes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Dog
Dog is one of those unbalanced hottie/douchey pics where the douchery is so intense but the hott isn't up to snuff, so that the question becomes if it's enough to carry the pic through to victory based on imbalance.
As we know, a truly superior HCwDB pic has a zen totality to it. A wrongness and a rightness that cancel each other out and offer the contradiction of life that brings us truth.
But can the imbalance that is Dog carry a Weekly?
All I know is that Dog is a scholar and a man of peace.
He is polite and of classy breed.
He really shouldn't hunt me down and beat me like a goiter infested 13th century mule in Scotland.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Turd Flush
Turd Flush also ranks high on the rage factor.
Rare is the douche who actually features his sunglasses on top of his mandana.
Toss in the beads and the two bar slut hotts, and the fact it's all taking place on the deck of the Titanic means a sinking ship of wrong.
Alls I know is I need to scrub my eyes out with bleach.
So them's your three. Three pics enter. Only one can reign douchepreme. Which one? That, my friends, is up to you.
Cast your vote, as ever, in the comments thread.
So, without further apoo, here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Prince of Pud
This is a classic anger-inducing combo. Sure, the Prince of Pud isn't as cartoonishly spectacle as some of the more extreme 'bags. But he's got all the factors of wrong in one greased up package of what I term "reality douche." He's real. And that's what hurts.
And then there's blonde Susan Winterbottom, descendant of the Mayflower, daughter of the revolution, getting back at her waspy parents and aristocratic life by partying with Tony Florencio here.
The brunette kissing Pud looks to be delectable. And there's a red cup and Prince Caspian in the background. All taking place in what appears to be a neo-Nazi bunker. Yikes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Dog
Dog is one of those unbalanced hottie/douchey pics where the douchery is so intense but the hott isn't up to snuff, so that the question becomes if it's enough to carry the pic through to victory based on imbalance.
As we know, a truly superior HCwDB pic has a zen totality to it. A wrongness and a rightness that cancel each other out and offer the contradiction of life that brings us truth.
But can the imbalance that is Dog carry a Weekly?
All I know is that Dog is a scholar and a man of peace.
He is polite and of classy breed.
He really shouldn't hunt me down and beat me like a goiter infested 13th century mule in Scotland.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Turd Flush
Turd Flush also ranks high on the rage factor.
Rare is the douche who actually features his sunglasses on top of his mandana.
Toss in the beads and the two bar slut hotts, and the fact it's all taking place on the deck of the Titanic means a sinking ship of wrong.
Alls I know is I need to scrub my eyes out with bleach.
So them's your three. Three pics enter. Only one can reign douchepreme. Which one? That, my friends, is up to you.
Cast your vote, as ever, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:09 AM 
Comments:
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Dog is laughable, the Prince makes me want to drive my eyeliner into his chest, but I think the Turd is the only one who really makes me recoil here.
Turd Flush FTW.
Turd Flush FTW.
my vote is for the turd. is "dog" the name of the big guy, the giant cobra, or the thai transvestite that actually eats dogs? the prince looks like frank stallone circa 1981--living the dream surrounded by hot chicks all because his brother is famous--he just bangs sly's table scraps. but the turd....ohhh the turd. where to even begin? this aptly named chunk of scrotal cheese is such a trainwreck it hurts to look. i want to sharpen my number 2 pencil, draw sketches of his blonde hott and i engaged in a style of the hounds love-making pose on my trapper keeper note pad and then stab both of my eyes with aforementioned pencil. was this picture taken in saudi arabia? the beads, the hotts, the my-dad's-oil-company-is-better-than-your-dad's-oil-company look on his face...he should become a suicide bomber to prevent his filthy seed from spreading arabian grieco germs throughout the world. and by world, i mean gorgeous women and bar skanks.
# posted by 
: 7:24 AM
: 7:24 AM
Gotta be Dog. Snake tattoo+sunglasses at night+douchey facial hair=megadouche.
A polite and classy megadouche, of course...
A polite and classy megadouche, of course...
# posted by : 7:24 AM
: 7:24 AM
I advocated for Dog earlier...esp. with the one-sided ant-farm on his face, but his girl is so below the mendoza line I just cant give it to him...It is an easy call for TURD ftw due to the fact his ladies are cumulatively hotter than Dog's biker skank and it looks like the Douche levels are feeding on his very soul...as it should be.
Turd, vote for him and flush him on home.
Turd, vote for him and flush him on home.
# posted by : 7:25 AM
: 7:25 AM
No love for the Dog? Dog is a rare specimen of douche. Who else has such ornate facial hair? And that fun with electrical tape tattoo?
Come on, The Dog rules.
Come on, The Dog rules.
I'm throwing my endorsement for the Prince. His gals are the only ones who don't make me want to scrub myself with turpentine.
One vote for Turd Flush. He's the complete package of douche. I wouldn't get within 20 feet of this guy.
Plus, could the blonde be the Lei Hottie on the left??
Ahhh, the Lei Hotties, uh, excuse me for a moment...I have to attend to some, uh, business...
Plus, could the blonde be the Lei Hottie on the left??
Ahhh, the Lei Hotties, uh, excuse me for a moment...I have to attend to some, uh, business...
The Prince of Pud should reign supreme. A douchebag like that should never be privileged enough to be surrounded by such talent, and I'd love to dish out the ass-whooping he so deserves. Turd flush simply looks like Ralph Macchio on goofballs.
# posted by : 7:39 AM
: 7:39 AM
dog for being the iconic iconoclast that breaks the mold but does it in derivative douchebag fashion...this scrote spends more time chosing the best night ranger song to be his ringtone than he did deciding on that tattoo
# posted by : 7:43 AM
: 7:43 AM
Turd is a self created douche - from the Mystery School of Peacocking. Dog's testosterone makes him a true douche, and that horrific snake is permanent. I vote Dog.
# posted by : 7:44 AM
: 7:44 AM
c'mon, has to be TURD.
The Phil Ivey wannabedouche with the eyelid ring is a keeper
The Phil Ivey wannabedouche with the eyelid ring is a keeper
# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM
A shit eating grin on a human piece of shit makes me say Turd flush is the one.
# posted by : 7:54 AM
: 7:54 AM
Dog. Definitely dog. That snake tat and the triple chin strap? For the love of god a triple chin strap!
so wrong... so hard to vote, as they are all such scrote. i'll have to look to the skanks for the true swaying of my vote. so give me a minute, man.
# posted by : 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM
Turd Flush - because people with no talent in life have to try twice as hard to prove they are worthwhile. At the club, they may seem to be attractive, successful sex mongers, but all I see is a BA in English, 2 months of community college, and a beauty school drop out.
- All Choads Lead to Rome
- All Choads Lead to Rome
# posted by : 8:11 AM
: 8:11 AM
I vote for Turd and the heroin girls. His genius was in coating his beads, and forehead with the greasy secretions of hallucinogenic Bolivian tree toads. How else could he any female to get so close to him? Brunette skank is clearly 15 seconds away from a date with an ambulance and a stomach pump. The darkened, vacant eyes of blonde trollop show that she's been down this road before.
# posted by : 8:12 AM
: 8:12 AM
Turd Flush. I think it should be noted that I fear the ramifications of this breed of bag. He seems to be a Zombie-Bag or 28 bags later douche. That skin color can only be produced with douche sweat, eye-liner and prolonged excusrions into the tanning bed.
# posted by : 8:13 AM
: 8:13 AM
PofP is a run of the mill Douche.(It's a shame when the Greico Virus has become so out of control there are "run of the mill" douches.)
Dog, on his own, could be a viable HofS candidate, but his "hott" is deplorable. I can't help but look at that busted tranny's tatoo and think it is a cesarian scar. A scar out of which some hermaphrodite, half Mexican, half Loatian sneaker factory worker emerged.
Turd takes the title this week. His snide smirk and manadana/glasses combo, coupled with his hue, which resembles an actual turd that has sat in the bottom of a toilet for a day or so and formed that ghostly aura about it...only to disintegrate in a puff of poo smoke when it is flushed, send the average reader into a peripheral vision reducing rage. The trim in the picture makes my taint tingle and my asshole pucker...in that "if I want STDs, this is the way i'm going to get them" kind of way.
TURD FLUSH
-Arkansas Dave
Dog, on his own, could be a viable HofS candidate, but his "hott" is deplorable. I can't help but look at that busted tranny's tatoo and think it is a cesarian scar. A scar out of which some hermaphrodite, half Mexican, half Loatian sneaker factory worker emerged.
Turd takes the title this week. His snide smirk and manadana/glasses combo, coupled with his hue, which resembles an actual turd that has sat in the bottom of a toilet for a day or so and formed that ghostly aura about it...only to disintegrate in a puff of poo smoke when it is flushed, send the average reader into a peripheral vision reducing rage. The trim in the picture makes my taint tingle and my asshole pucker...in that "if I want STDs, this is the way i'm going to get them" kind of way.
TURD FLUSH
-Arkansas Dave
Uh, DB1? Why are you bothering to hold the weekly? If Dog doesn't win, I will funnel two gallons of 7 week old milk mixed with draino.
Dog is so fucking awesome I don't even know what to say. Though I see you building the Tighty Armani Portfolio in anticipation of a HoS bid for him in the near future, Dog would out-douche TA easily in a doucheoff.
Let's all take a moment to reflect on all that is Dog. Dog FTW.
Dog is so fucking awesome I don't even know what to say. Though I see you building the Tighty Armani Portfolio in anticipation of a HoS bid for him in the near future, Dog would out-douche TA easily in a doucheoff.
Let's all take a moment to reflect on all that is Dog. Dog FTW.
Give it to the Prince. The ratio of Hott (non-skank) to douche is off the charts, whereas the other contestants Hotts look like they were picked up at a highway truck stop outside of Fresno. Also, the Prince sneaks in a "shocker" hand sign that almost goes unnoticed.
# posted by : 8:25 AM
: 8:25 AM
The Prince of Pud should be the winner here. Dog is really douchey but the hot just isn't hot. Turd is very annoying but the girls are way too "pro" for my taste.
That leaves us with the Jim Morrison clone Prince of Pud. That chick kissing him is right up my alley and his lame attempts to dress exactly like Mr Mojo Rising in his iconic photo are enough to win my vote. Plus I do find the hayseed pearing over to be quite funny too.
That leaves us with the Jim Morrison clone Prince of Pud. That chick kissing him is right up my alley and his lame attempts to dress exactly like Mr Mojo Rising in his iconic photo are enough to win my vote. Plus I do find the hayseed pearing over to be quite funny too.
# posted by : 8:27 AM
: 8:27 AM
Prince of Pud has the hottest hott on display, but I dunno...the Serpico 'Bag look isn't feeding my bloodlust.
If Dog were with any other woman in the known universe, he would be a shoe-in. But, alas, it must be Turd Flush. His vacant gaze sees the nipple on my soul.
If Dog were with any other woman in the known universe, he would be a shoe-in. But, alas, it must be Turd Flush. His vacant gaze sees the nipple on my soul.
I have to go Turd and vote for him as well. I just want to thank Arkansas Dave for the following:
"A scar out of which some hermaphrodite, half Mexican, half Loatian sneaker factory worker emerged."
Pure poetry.
"A scar out of which some hermaphrodite, half Mexican, half Loatian sneaker factory worker emerged."
Pure poetry.
# posted by : 8:36 AM
: 8:36 AM
The turd looks like a fuckin zombie. The Prince does inspire quite a bit of vile hatred, but it's just not strong enough.
The Dog looks like he enjoys some Walt Whitman, the symphony, and lighting his farts when not beating "nerds" into bloody pulps. He's basically Ogre with a manicured beard and using gel.
"What if C-A-T, really spelled Dog?" I think we see that happening right here.
Dog FTW.
The Dog looks like he enjoys some Walt Whitman, the symphony, and lighting his farts when not beating "nerds" into bloody pulps. He's basically Ogre with a manicured beard and using gel.
"What if C-A-T, really spelled Dog?" I think we see that happening right here.
Dog FTW.
# posted by : 8:39 AM
: 8:39 AM
At first I wanted to vote for turd. He reminds me of something I sculpted up earlier this morning. And by up, I mean down. But his hotts just aren't doing it for me. Their sluttyness is repulsive. And I won't even be so mean as to mention that they both look mildly retarded. Also passing on the dog because of the slut factor.
This leaves the prince, a worthy contestant in his own early eighties right. The exposed chest grease, mysterious eighties 'stache/soul patch combo, borderline mullet, and a what appears to be a hott voluntarily getting his midnight oil on her all add up to a very aggravating pic.
That's one for the motorin' prince of pud.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
This leaves the prince, a worthy contestant in his own early eighties right. The exposed chest grease, mysterious eighties 'stache/soul patch combo, borderline mullet, and a what appears to be a hott voluntarily getting his midnight oil on her all add up to a very aggravating pic.
That's one for the motorin' prince of pud.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 8:47 AM
: 8:47 AM
Dog may exhibit a certain type of comical douchebaggery not often this site, but the fact remains that his "hott" probably has a penis tucked between his/her legs.
The Turd Flush, on the other hand, actually has some hotts, albeit slutty ones. He inspires the more conventional feelings of rage and disgust, but on much higher levels than any other of the more recent entries. In fact, if anyone ever truly deserved the status of "colostomy bag", it would be Turd Flush.
Turd Flush ftw.
The Turd Flush, on the other hand, actually has some hotts, albeit slutty ones. He inspires the more conventional feelings of rage and disgust, but on much higher levels than any other of the more recent entries. In fact, if anyone ever truly deserved the status of "colostomy bag", it would be Turd Flush.
Turd Flush ftw.
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
The prince is one of those who straddles the douchebag/dirtbag line. No weekly for him.
Dog is douche, but he is working SO HARD at it. The effort required to maintain the dreaded triple chin strap must be huge! Plus his girl appears to have the dreaded "surprise" lurking below the arrow.
Turd Flush on the other hand expends no effort at all to exude the pure distillation of douche. It is his natural state. And what the hell is going on with his eyes?
Turd Flush by a landslide.
Dog is douche, but he is working SO HARD at it. The effort required to maintain the dreaded triple chin strap must be huge! Plus his girl appears to have the dreaded "surprise" lurking below the arrow.
Turd Flush on the other hand expends no effort at all to exude the pure distillation of douche. It is his natural state. And what the hell is going on with his eyes?
Turd Flush by a landslide.
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
Dog's hott isn't, so he's out on a technicality.
And as opposed to a douche or a hott, all I see in the third photo is toxic waste. And I know toxic waste; I'm from Jersey.
Looks like my vote goes to the Prince.
@ ted theodore scrotgan: I lol'd at Trapper Keeper notebook.
And as opposed to a douche or a hott, all I see in the third photo is toxic waste. And I know toxic waste; I'm from Jersey.
Looks like my vote goes to the Prince.
@ ted theodore scrotgan: I lol'd at Trapper Keeper notebook.
# posted by : 8:55 AM
: 8:55 AM
The Prince of Pud
Its A Slam Flush, The prince has the hotter chicks, got the hand sig going,chin pubes, stupid fucking smirk, gold chain, and shirt open like a 70's porn star, got his sidekick in the back wishin he was in there.
The Turd a close second.
Turdacious
Its A Slam Flush, The prince has the hotter chicks, got the hand sig going,chin pubes, stupid fucking smirk, gold chain, and shirt open like a 70's porn star, got his sidekick in the back wishin he was in there.
The Turd a close second.
Turdacious
# posted by : 9:00 AM
: 9:00 AM
This weekly is a real ball-buster.
Dog is a classic uber-douche, possibly HOF worthy. However, Philipino sex worker non-hott is holding him back big-time....
Turd has an evil,vile,quality possesed only by child porn collectors, heroin dealers and paulie shore. skank hotts may be pros or at least so smacked out that they'd fuck a toliet seat for coke money...
Prince, however, fills me with a rage that can only be quenched by stabbing him in the adams apple with a finely sharpened dixon ticonderoga # 2, while his grandmother watches.....
therefore,
Prince FTW!
Dog is a classic uber-douche, possibly HOF worthy. However, Philipino sex worker non-hott is holding him back big-time....
Turd has an evil,vile,quality possesed only by child porn collectors, heroin dealers and paulie shore. skank hotts may be pros or at least so smacked out that they'd fuck a toliet seat for coke money...
Prince, however, fills me with a rage that can only be quenched by stabbing him in the adams apple with a finely sharpened dixon ticonderoga # 2, while his grandmother watches.....
therefore,
Prince FTW!
For some reason, Prince of Pud is inducing the most rage in me. I think it's the hotts in his picture. The chicks in the other two pictures look pretty skanky - later-stage Bleeths with STD's to spare for sure. The hotts surrounding Prince of Pud look to me like the wholesome-on-the-outside, naughty-on-the-inside types, which is just about everything you really want in a woman, isn't it?
Prince of Pud ftw.
Prince of Pud ftw.
the Turd Flush.
because last night my wife and i grilled out an amazing pork tenderloin, and this morning i made a turd that looked exactly like this numbnut. minus the sunglasses.
because last night my wife and i grilled out an amazing pork tenderloin, and this morning i made a turd that looked exactly like this numbnut. minus the sunglasses.
The Prince takes it for me. He's trying his damndest to be a wanker, and his efforts are not in vain. I'm entirely convinced. Fine work, Your Highness. That's some quality wanking.
without a doubt. prince of pud.
he has the intent and he has the hott. the chin strap. the chest flex. the shocker. the fauxhawk. the disparate 'bag-to-hot ratio. this pic lacks nothing.
if i were forced to come up with one image to define this website to someone who had never visited, this pic would be it.
he has the intent and he has the hott. the chin strap. the chest flex. the shocker. the fauxhawk. the disparate 'bag-to-hot ratio. this pic lacks nothing.
if i were forced to come up with one image to define this website to someone who had never visited, this pic would be it.
# posted by : 9:09 AM
: 9:09 AM
At first I thought DB1 had phoned it in but upon further reflection understanding emerges: Rarely have I been so challenged...at this moment I do not yet know for whom I will cast my all-important vote.
Prince of Pud? It's quite possible he is not in fact a douche. He just looks drunk, yet certain characteristics can't be denied, and yes, I mean the vomit-inducing facial expression and hand gesture, the open shirt, the greasy chest, the facial hair...
Dog? Well, I'm female, so I don't fear him. The HOURS it must cost him to maintain that facial assault upon all that is holy nearly put him over the top. Yet. The trashiness of his escort gives me pause.
Turd Flush? He is so violently offensive to me I may have to call in today in order to recover. Bleach can't do it alone.
I suppose it's got to be Turd. Hottsluttiness notwithstanding he'll no doubt appear in our nightmares and quite possibly incite several killing sprees.
Prince of Pud? It's quite possible he is not in fact a douche. He just looks drunk, yet certain characteristics can't be denied, and yes, I mean the vomit-inducing facial expression and hand gesture, the open shirt, the greasy chest, the facial hair...
Dog? Well, I'm female, so I don't fear him. The HOURS it must cost him to maintain that facial assault upon all that is holy nearly put him over the top. Yet. The trashiness of his escort gives me pause.
Turd Flush? He is so violently offensive to me I may have to call in today in order to recover. Bleach can't do it alone.
I suppose it's got to be Turd. Hottsluttiness notwithstanding he'll no doubt appear in our nightmares and quite possibly incite several killing sprees.
# posted by : 9:09 AM
: 9:09 AM
Damn...everyone's all over the place with this group of fuckchops.
Dog's got my vote.
The triple chin strap did it.
Dog's got my vote.
The triple chin strap did it.
Turd Flush. Not only he is a steaming pile, but his stench is turning these sluts into poo-loving bleeths.
# posted by : 9:16 AM
: 9:16 AM
The Prince is underwhelming.
Turd Flush is really douchey, but somewhat mitigated by the fact that you KNOW everyone in the picture has massive genital warts.
Dog, though, inspires something primal within me. Is man violent by nature? I'm not sure. I just know when I see Dog, I want to beat something to death with a crowbar.
Thus the reason there are so few hobos around me.
Dog gets my vote.
Turd Flush is really douchey, but somewhat mitigated by the fact that you KNOW everyone in the picture has massive genital warts.
Dog, though, inspires something primal within me. Is man violent by nature? I'm not sure. I just know when I see Dog, I want to beat something to death with a crowbar.
Thus the reason there are so few hobos around me.
Dog gets my vote.
# posted by : 9:20 AM
: 9:20 AM
I didn't really think too much of any of these guys.
Dog's shave is ridiculous, as are the cobra and the shades. But his hott is not, so he's out.
PoP has the hottest hotts, but his picture almost feels ironic to me. It seems too much of a setup.
Turd Flush is the clear winner for me, but I have reservations because he looks like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video and that song and video are totally classic. His girls are skanky and kinda gross, but blonde is still attractive enough. Flush FTW.
Dog's shave is ridiculous, as are the cobra and the shades. But his hott is not, so he's out.
PoP has the hottest hotts, but his picture almost feels ironic to me. It seems too much of a setup.
Turd Flush is the clear winner for me, but I have reservations because he looks like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video and that song and video are totally classic. His girls are skanky and kinda gross, but blonde is still attractive enough. Flush FTW.
# posted by : 9:23 AM
: 9:23 AM
@ Papa's Got A Brand New Bag
Dude, labia minora transposed onto your face? Stay just like that, I'm gonna come.
Dude, labia minora transposed onto your face? Stay just like that, I'm gonna come.
I must vote for #1, the Pud. My decision is a negative one, since the Dog is too refined in his concept to be a real douchebag, and the Flush is (1) probably not human and (2) his hotts are certainly professionals.
After reading the arguments between Turd and the King, I'm going to vote Turd because he actually doesn't need a pose and hand gesture to convey the douchiness.
# posted by : 9:31 AM
: 9:31 AM
goin for the Prince of Pud. It's not the omnipresent red cup, it's not the douchebag hand gesture, it's not the three hotties falling for him. No, what seals it for me is that douche-o-rama bag himself. the pursed lips. the malnourished chest. but most of all... the stare.
# posted by : 9:50 AM
: 9:50 AM
Gotta go with the turd. He has that whole weekend at Bernie's thing going on. Such a nice corpse.
# posted by : 9:53 AM
: 9:53 AM
dog. he looks like fucking julian from trailer park boys. thats gotta mean something. dude shaved multiple lines into his beard and is wearing blue blockers! the ink is horrible and he sucks at life. if you saved his ho's head she would look like a 12 year old vietnamese boy. "You makey movie?" not this time whore.
also, is TA this years fish slap? i hope not.
also, is TA this years fish slap? i hope not.
# posted by : 10:00 AM
: 10:00 AM
Every time I take a shit, I check to see if his face is on it.
Turd is the man. And by man, I mean shit faced, shit smelling, hott infecting Hanubag, god of the club monkeys.
Turd is the man. And by man, I mean shit faced, shit smelling, hott infecting Hanubag, god of the club monkeys.
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
I have to agree with the masses...Dog, while absolutely a douchebag with his week's supply of steroids behind him, has no hott. At least not one that didn't have their adam's apple removed in an alley in Cambodia.
The Prince's hotts are indeed adorable and it was nice of him to share his room in his mom's basement on a Friday night, but he's just an a dirtball who brought the ecstasy and got some love.
That leaves the all-night meth binge that is Turd Flush. His hotts may need to be doused in bleach but the fact that ANY girl would come near him, much less allow photographic evidence is why we are all here.
Turd Flush ftw.
The Prince's hotts are indeed adorable and it was nice of him to share his room in his mom's basement on a Friday night, but he's just an a dirtball who brought the ecstasy and got some love.
That leaves the all-night meth binge that is Turd Flush. His hotts may need to be doused in bleach but the fact that ANY girl would come near him, much less allow photographic evidence is why we are all here.
Turd Flush ftw.
# posted by : 10:07 AM
: 10:07 AM
Prince of Pud, please. It's got that surreal/overreal feel I like: the unusual, almost art-photo lighting, the hobbit-like stone(d) douche in the corner, the whole thing just makes you wonder, wha? As well as the hottie-douchie comingling, of course; Sam Rockwell 'bag might not be as terrible as Dog or Turd but as DB1 says, he's more real. I know douches like this. Also it has a good hott quotient. Not an amazing pic but a pretty good one.
# posted by : 10:09 AM
: 10:09 AM
the prince may be trying, but not hard enough. a couple more accessories and he'll be there.
dog...man, he's just too w.w.e. to be taken seriously. the baddazz king kobra tatt, chick shades, low rise jeans, marlb lights, grease, tranns am, artfully stripey face, etc,etc,etc. i look at him as a study in homegrown american douche...
turd on the other hand...this is the guy who's gonna slip your best gal pal a roofie, screw her six ways to sunday, and leave her semi-dressed in some park somewhere. and he will do it again and again because daddy's an ambassador for the Ballchinnian Embassy.
his smirk says,
"i double dip on these two, no?"
and he won't use protection, cause he loves giving back to the community. ugh.
a sledgehammer to the temple wouldn't be subtle enough for this guy.
turd flush F.T.W.-and a revocation of his visa, with a side of addition to the "do-not-fly" list...
dog...man, he's just too w.w.e. to be taken seriously. the baddazz king kobra tatt, chick shades, low rise jeans, marlb lights, grease, tranns am, artfully stripey face, etc,etc,etc. i look at him as a study in homegrown american douche...
turd on the other hand...this is the guy who's gonna slip your best gal pal a roofie, screw her six ways to sunday, and leave her semi-dressed in some park somewhere. and he will do it again and again because daddy's an ambassador for the Ballchinnian Embassy.
his smirk says,
"i double dip on these two, no?"
and he won't use protection, cause he loves giving back to the community. ugh.
a sledgehammer to the temple wouldn't be subtle enough for this guy.
turd flush F.T.W.-and a revocation of his visa, with a side of addition to the "do-not-fly" list...
Turd Flush has to be disqualified on account of the professional (but still sub-standard) hotts paid to pose with him by "Total Break Entertainment", which is obviously some sort of Scat Fetish Production company.
Two Girls, One Flush?
Anyway, I'm gonna vote for Dog in the hope that he can use his HCwDB of the week status to pull in a better Hott for next time.
*Sean Connery voice* "You, the man now, Dog!"
Don't let me down.
Two Girls, One Flush?
Anyway, I'm gonna vote for Dog in the hope that he can use his HCwDB of the week status to pull in a better Hott for next time.
*Sean Connery voice* "You, the man now, Dog!"
Don't let me down.
# posted by : 10:13 AM
: 10:13 AM
Turd Flush looks like Ralph Macchio in black face. Daniel Larusso for the win...I'm just glad Johnnie gave him two black eyes.
# posted by : 10:14 AM
: 10:14 AM
Turd!
I read all the well made arguments.
However Turd creates that kind of rage in me that only a true douche can produce.
I read all the well made arguments.
However Turd creates that kind of rage in me that only a true douche can produce.
# posted by : 10:18 AM
: 10:18 AM
If TURD does not win by a unanimous vote, there is something wrong with this world.
# posted by : 10:25 AM
: 10:25 AM
Turd takes it for sure, the eyeliner, beads, and mandana with glasses... trifecta. Dog is a total DB, dont get me wrong, but his "hott", really isnt just that.
# posted by : 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
A two man throwdown in my view.
Turd reminds me that once on a dare, I ground up a Karate Kid dvd, and ate it with a huge bowl of curry and lentils. The ensuing stool looked like an Indian Ralph Macchio....
But to me its Dog that truly inspires impulse reaction.
After seeing this, I immediately ran outside, hunched my backside into a low tight curve, looked both ways, and shit on the lawn.
I then stood up, barked twice, and with alternating back kicks, covered it with dirt before walking away triumphant.
Dog ftw.
Turd reminds me that once on a dare, I ground up a Karate Kid dvd, and ate it with a huge bowl of curry and lentils. The ensuing stool looked like an Indian Ralph Macchio....
But to me its Dog that truly inspires impulse reaction.
After seeing this, I immediately ran outside, hunched my backside into a low tight curve, looked both ways, and shit on the lawn.
I then stood up, barked twice, and with alternating back kicks, covered it with dirt before walking away triumphant.
Dog ftw.
The Prince has the hottest court, the Dog is with a dogg but otherwise would give any douche a hard run, but never has a Scrote disgusted me as The Turd has. I would rather lick the Xenu off a truck stop toilet than ever see The Turd again. Hands down, he wins.
When he makes the Hall, please post his link behind a black curtain and provide liability tags prior to exposing that image to the unknowing.
When he makes the Hall, please post his link behind a black curtain and provide liability tags prior to exposing that image to the unknowing.
When voting for HCwDB of the Week/Month, I always try to look beyond the picture itself and use a more reliable litmus test... You must eliminate the bias of "alcohol costumes," handout-Bar-beads, and drunken hand signals... For example, if you were in line at 7-Eleven at 9am on a Monday, and the subject douche walked in, would you think "douchebag"?
Now, at 7-Eleven this morning when I got my coffee on the way to work, I would not have noticed Pud and I would have though Turd worked there, but Dog would have made me laugh the rest of my commute. The cobra-tatoo is Over-the-Top in a Stallone-Cobra sense. This guy is why we have police officers and a 35% federal income tax...
Now, at 7-Eleven this morning when I got my coffee on the way to work, I would not have noticed Pud and I would have though Turd worked there, but Dog would have made me laugh the rest of my commute. The cobra-tatoo is Over-the-Top in a Stallone-Cobra sense. This guy is why we have police officers and a 35% federal income tax...
# posted by : 10:57 AM
: 10:57 AM
Update: I just looked at dog again, and involuntarily dropped to my ass on the carpet, and with ankles in mid-air, began propelling myself across the carpet with just my hands.
The Prince is a joke.
Turd is Amateur Night at the Scropollo.
Dog, on the other hand, gives me nightmares about an oddly-groomed Douchinator sent back from the future to impregnate slutty Hotts everywhere with his Scrote-filled semen-- starting with Filipino prostitutes and working his way up to Maria Shriver-- in order to create an alien race of steroid-powered Cybags who will one day rule the Earth.
So yeah, Dog gets my vote.
--Lord Douchinclam III
Turd is Amateur Night at the Scropollo.
Dog, on the other hand, gives me nightmares about an oddly-groomed Douchinator sent back from the future to impregnate slutty Hotts everywhere with his Scrote-filled semen-- starting with Filipino prostitutes and working his way up to Maria Shriver-- in order to create an alien race of steroid-powered Cybags who will one day rule the Earth.
So yeah, Dog gets my vote.
--Lord Douchinclam III
# posted by : 11:14 AM
: 11:14 AM
Let's just start by saying this is a strong, strong week as far as talent goes. Strong arguments can be put forth for any of the finalists.
In the end, the sincere concern for the demise of our culture, and quite possibly all of modern western civilization, that is engendered by a mere glimpse of the Turd carries the day. Is this the sign that the good Lord has finally forsaken us?
In the end, the sincere concern for the demise of our culture, and quite possibly all of modern western civilization, that is engendered by a mere glimpse of the Turd carries the day. Is this the sign that the good Lord has finally forsaken us?
# posted by : 11:26 AM
: 11:26 AM
Turd Flush.
Look at him. There is no amount of prescription drugs on the market to quell my rage. And I know you're mad too.
2 semi-decent hotts = 1 fine-ass hott. And he has a mandana and massive smeared eyeliner.
I'm going to put a hole through my monitor. Again.
Look at him. There is no amount of prescription drugs on the market to quell my rage. And I know you're mad too.
2 semi-decent hotts = 1 fine-ass hott. And he has a mandana and massive smeared eyeliner.
I'm going to put a hole through my monitor. Again.
# posted by : 11:31 AM
: 11:31 AM
Even though Turd Flush reminds me of an even dirtier version of Beetlejuice, Dog has to win. The combination of his and hers trashtoos, along with Dog's combination of top-heavy with muscles, streamlines facial hair, and lightness of mental power, make this a shoe-in.
# posted by : 11:34 AM
: 11:34 AM
Ok lets be honest everyone, It has tobe Prince, if you saw that A-hole walking down the street, you without a second thought would mutter, What A douche Bag!,
Dog you would stay clear of and think, what a Freak,
Turd you would think..Hmmm hes doing some bad crank, hope we don't have the same dealer.
Its gotta be Prince, plus count um..All 3 hotts are very very boneable.
Dog you would stay clear of and think, what a Freak,
Turd you would think..Hmmm hes doing some bad crank, hope we don't have the same dealer.
Its gotta be Prince, plus count um..All 3 hotts are very very boneable.
# posted by : 11:36 AM
: 11:36 AM
Don't get me wrong.
I hate Turd Flush like Brick Tamlin loves Lamp.
But when you Google Image Search "cocaine", You. Get. Dog. SNORTING.
I lift my leg high for Dog.
I hate Turd Flush like Brick Tamlin loves Lamp.
But when you Google Image Search "cocaine", You. Get. Dog. SNORTING.
I lift my leg high for Dog.
Prince of Pud. Easily. Dog's facial hair rocks, but the hott is just not. So I vote Prince of Pud.
# posted by : 11:49 AM
: 11:49 AM
@ Johnny Scrotten..
You are KILLING me with "Ballchinnian Embassy"!
made me spit out my coffee.
You are KILLING me with "Ballchinnian Embassy"!
made me spit out my coffee.
# posted by : 12:01 PM
: 12:01 PM
Its has to be Prince, Dog looks like a Roid circus performer, Turd, Well he just looks like a turd...Pud looks like all that is douche. plus Id love to hammer any 3 of those hotts
# posted by : 12:05 PM
: 12:05 PM
Turd flush is absolutely repulsive. I just can't think of any other word. I'm afraid to take a dump now because I'm afraid I'll see his douchey face smirking back at me. Thanks DB!.
# posted by : 12:08 PM
: 12:08 PM
Dog to me looks like some character walking around at universal studios.
Turd looks like someone walking around at a rehab clinic.
Prince looks like someone Id like to beat the shit out of just for walking around.
Prince is the Dog Turd Douche of the Week
Turd looks like someone walking around at a rehab clinic.
Prince looks like someone Id like to beat the shit out of just for walking around.
Prince is the Dog Turd Douche of the Week
# posted by : 12:12 PM
: 12:12 PM
Turd Flush is douchebag of the week, and I predict he will bag the monthly as well. Blonde hott wants me. I can see it in her eyes. Of course, that means she wants all of you as well, but I digress. She'll have to carry the hott for this pic, as the other one kind of looks like a skanky heroin addict. Maybe it's her bad side.
Turd Flush!!!
The look in his eyes is so creepy I can barely look at the picture.
The look in his eyes is so creepy I can barely look at the picture.
# posted by : 12:21 PM
: 12:21 PM
Bring on the Pud...
The second 2 must be a joke, a pic taken at some costume party where people pretend to be complete douchebags and hosebeasts.
Number one, though, gets my vote. I think he is actually serious.
The second 2 must be a joke, a pic taken at some costume party where people pretend to be complete douchebags and hosebeasts.
Number one, though, gets my vote. I think he is actually serious.
# posted by : 12:37 PM
: 12:37 PM
I am going to have to cast my vote for the "Prince of Pud" and I will tell you why.
While the other two definately are total douches, their chicks hottness brings them down a notch.
Dog embodies the douche - greasy hair, sick, er, lame full face glasses, wicked tattoo, and racing stripes down one side of the face - but his hott is a low-grade, porn star reject. Also points taken off for not throwing any hand gestures.
Turd flush - I don't know how to describe him. Just the sight of those two worn out sluts trying to be "sexy" by tounging those beads makes me sick - can't even enjoy the hott.
On the other hand, the "Prince of Pud" looks like Ben Stiller making a movie on douchness. Gay, played out porn moustache, chest exposed with butt beads, dufous friend throwing hand gesture trying to mack on the less hott that his friend pulled for him, all while getting some action from a bruntte cutie, but is planning on throwing a shocker to the cute hott in the left corner.
Prince of Pud picture defines douchiness - to the max!
While the other two definately are total douches, their chicks hottness brings them down a notch.
Dog embodies the douche - greasy hair, sick, er, lame full face glasses, wicked tattoo, and racing stripes down one side of the face - but his hott is a low-grade, porn star reject. Also points taken off for not throwing any hand gestures.
Turd flush - I don't know how to describe him. Just the sight of those two worn out sluts trying to be "sexy" by tounging those beads makes me sick - can't even enjoy the hott.
On the other hand, the "Prince of Pud" looks like Ben Stiller making a movie on douchness. Gay, played out porn moustache, chest exposed with butt beads, dufous friend throwing hand gesture trying to mack on the less hott that his friend pulled for him, all while getting some action from a bruntte cutie, but is planning on throwing a shocker to the cute hott in the left corner.
Prince of Pud picture defines douchiness - to the max!
# posted by : 1:28 PM
: 1:28 PM
My vote goes to the Dog and his five-to-ten penitentiary 'bagness.
Yes, the 'hott' is certainly not worthy of such a title, but Dog's effort justifies my vote.
Yes, the 'hott' is certainly not worthy of such a title, but Dog's effort justifies my vote.
# posted by : 1:31 PM
: 1:31 PM
Turd Flush for the win. This is like a scene from a deleted episode of Sliders or Star Trek TNG where they found an alternate douche reality and ran into the Karate Kid.
# posted by : 1:48 PM
: 1:48 PM
Turd. The Mandana/glasses combo is shows advanced douchatude. The hotts carry their weight. The "darkness" around the eyes tips the scale. This douche-turd will compete in the monthly.
# posted by : 1:50 PM
: 1:50 PM
Even though I am a new and loyal fan of HCWDB and this being my first vote, this is a no brainer.
Turd, toilet handle down.
Yes, the Prince looks greasy, has a freshly waxed chest and a genuine attempt at a chin strap.
Yes, the Dog as a singularity, is almost the apex of a douche food pyramid.
The Turd, with his matching AF shirt and mandana, to the anal beads and the "I've been up for the last 3 days due to some excellent cocaine" eyes, is not as douchy as they come.
So it comes down to the Hott.
Prince has two hotts that we can see who, well, there are better and the one smooching looks like she has potential.
Dog has a little lady that looks 5 years past her prime and has been road hard and put away wet multiple times.
That brings us to the Turd's Hott. I am assuming that these blossoming bleeth's are hanging around him for the aforementioned excellent cocaine. They are Slutty Hotts and well, that is a dirty turn on. The contract between hott and douche is as wide as turquoisetounge can spread her legs.
Turd Flush is this weeks winner, by a diahrea induced turdslide.
Douche Boyardee's cheese and bagaroni
Turd, toilet handle down.
Yes, the Prince looks greasy, has a freshly waxed chest and a genuine attempt at a chin strap.
Yes, the Dog as a singularity, is almost the apex of a douche food pyramid.
The Turd, with his matching AF shirt and mandana, to the anal beads and the "I've been up for the last 3 days due to some excellent cocaine" eyes, is not as douchy as they come.
So it comes down to the Hott.
Prince has two hotts that we can see who, well, there are better and the one smooching looks like she has potential.
Dog has a little lady that looks 5 years past her prime and has been road hard and put away wet multiple times.
That brings us to the Turd's Hott. I am assuming that these blossoming bleeth's are hanging around him for the aforementioned excellent cocaine. They are Slutty Hotts and well, that is a dirty turn on. The contract between hott and douche is as wide as turquoisetounge can spread her legs.
Turd Flush is this weeks winner, by a diahrea induced turdslide.
Douche Boyardee's cheese and bagaroni
# posted by : 1:55 PM
: 1:55 PM
I think it's prince. Though turd's heroin-eyes and coked-out bimbos make great strides, and dog does exhibit some classic douchey signs, I think the shear weight of Prince's girls carry the day
# posted by : 2:12 PM
: 2:12 PM
As much as Dog's head-sized bicep and bizarre double, possibly triple sideburn-chinstrap put him well in the running for douchiness, I'm afraid that, compared to the Turd, Dog is going to be left out in the kennel with a bowl of rancid water. The Turd has everything going for him... the self-satisfied smirk, the sunglasses-over-bandana vaguely reminiscent of the Naruto headband, an extremely good-looking pair of girls--one of whom is skinny enough to use as a lockpick--hanging off of him, an eyebrow-piercing, and what appears to be three separate necklaces of beads.
Turd Flush, my friend, you are a douchebag. We can see it in your eyes: your success with the hotts is only made sweeter by your unabashed douchery. And the blonde? She knows it, too. But she's giving me a look that says, "If you were here, I'd be licking YOUR necklace instead."
Yes, blonde. Yes, you would. But the Turd still gets the vote.
Turd Flush, my friend, you are a douchebag. We can see it in your eyes: your success with the hotts is only made sweeter by your unabashed douchery. And the blonde? She knows it, too. But she's giving me a look that says, "If you were here, I'd be licking YOUR necklace instead."
Yes, blonde. Yes, you would. But the Turd still gets the vote.
I'd like to vote for Dog, but that hott is mostly assuredly nott. The site is, after all, HOTCHICKSwithdouchebags.com.
So, I'm casting my lot in with Turd Flush. The slut hott on the right makes me want to risk the inevitable gonorrhea/herpes/genital warts infection that I am sure to catch. And Turd himself makes me want to throw an elbow directly to his face.
-SES
So, I'm casting my lot in with Turd Flush. The slut hott on the right makes me want to risk the inevitable gonorrhea/herpes/genital warts infection that I am sure to catch. And Turd himself makes me want to throw an elbow directly to his face.
-SES
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
It's tough, but Prince of Pud is is top douche. His girls aren't all Bleethed out like Turd's are. Prince of Pud FTW.
# posted by : 2:24 PM
: 2:24 PM
I've gotta go with Turd Flush. The blond licking his necklace, even if an obviously bleethed out slut, is still wicked hot. I would pound her like a naughty nail.
And she dovetails nicely with the uber-scrote in the pic. We see lots of classic douche markers (mandana and sunglasses at night, the rings, hair gel and that piercing), but for me it's the look on his face. No gestures needed. He's taunting us to beat his ass and steal his hotts, if only we had as much money as his daddy. And notice the thing riding up his right arm. Is that a sweatband?
I agree with others that the Dog doesn't have a hott with him, so it reduces the power of his douchitude (at least for this exercise). And to me, the Prince is an everyday bag. I went to high school with like five of those guys. But Turd Flush? His douchiness and mocking of all that is good in the world with his blond hott is eternally infuriating.
And she dovetails nicely with the uber-scrote in the pic. We see lots of classic douche markers (mandana and sunglasses at night, the rings, hair gel and that piercing), but for me it's the look on his face. No gestures needed. He's taunting us to beat his ass and steal his hotts, if only we had as much money as his daddy. And notice the thing riding up his right arm. Is that a sweatband?
I agree with others that the Dog doesn't have a hott with him, so it reduces the power of his douchitude (at least for this exercise). And to me, the Prince is an everyday bag. I went to high school with like five of those guys. But Turd Flush? His douchiness and mocking of all that is good in the world with his blond hott is eternally infuriating.
# posted by : 2:44 PM
: 2:44 PM
his racoon-like face really pisses me off
id courtesy flush this piece of shit
turd
id courtesy flush this piece of shit
turd
# posted by : 2:46 PM
: 2:46 PM
Turd flush all the way. The others certainly have a hand but turd flush is really a royal turd flush. He's got all the cards neatly in a row.
Often epic hotness or epic douchebaggery can outweigh the other side of the equation.
And then other times, there are pics like Ricky, Xenu, and Dog here.
Something about Dog is lovable. And by lovable, I mean I'd like to go to a biker bar with him and snort lines off of a prostitute's abdomen.
And while his hot looks like the kind of girl that would fellate you in a back alley for a 6 pack of Natural Ice, she is a perfect representation of the kind of skank that Dog undoubtedly tears into daily after a long night of crystal meth and Jack Daniels.
Dog has the "it" factor in my mind, FTW.
And then other times, there are pics like Ricky, Xenu, and Dog here.
Something about Dog is lovable. And by lovable, I mean I'd like to go to a biker bar with him and snort lines off of a prostitute's abdomen.
And while his hot looks like the kind of girl that would fellate you in a back alley for a 6 pack of Natural Ice, she is a perfect representation of the kind of skank that Dog undoubtedly tears into daily after a long night of crystal meth and Jack Daniels.
Dog has the "it" factor in my mind, FTW.
a toss up between turd and pud; but dog & his hott with the aerodynamic tattgina are just soo wrong.
pud takes it for me. like a truly good horror story villain, an everyday douche provokes much more emotion than an out-of-this world douche.
go the pud!
pud takes it for me. like a truly good horror story villain, an everyday douche provokes much more emotion than an out-of-this world douche.
go the pud!
# posted by : 3:20 PM
: 3:20 PM
Anything that guest starred on X-Files is an automatic winner in my book Turd Flush FTW
# posted by : 3:32 PM
: 3:32 PM
Prince P raises a strong desire to kill from deep within the subcockles of my digestive tract, but he does not appear to take himself seriously enough---emphasized by the two wormlike fuzz-critters resting on his upper lip.
Those pearly whites, pompous smirk, smoked eyes, tailored brows... Turd Flush gets my vote.
Those pearly whites, pompous smirk, smoked eyes, tailored brows... Turd Flush gets my vote.
# posted by : 3:39 PM
: 3:39 PM
So hard to decide...the dog is a grade A Navarro-meets-HGH douche (think Pumpy with hepatitis), but the turd is clearly a future serial killer (and most certainly has hepatitis).
Gotta give it to the turd.
Gotta give it to the turd.
# posted by : 3:47 PM
: 3:47 PM
i agree with bcs...
pud is the most infuriating.
turd is the most revolting.
but dog has that "it" factor that transcends all regular standards of douche-criteria, including quality of hott.
he is a caricature - a larger than life singularity that emerges from the deepest pits of our collective douche-imaginations.
the other two might evoke profound reactions of disgust and despair - but dog just makes you stop in your tracks and go "wtf, c'mon? are you serious???"
that takes a special kind of 'bag.
dog for the win.
pud is the most infuriating.
turd is the most revolting.
but dog has that "it" factor that transcends all regular standards of douche-criteria, including quality of hott.
he is a caricature - a larger than life singularity that emerges from the deepest pits of our collective douche-imaginations.
the other two might evoke profound reactions of disgust and despair - but dog just makes you stop in your tracks and go "wtf, c'mon? are you serious???"
that takes a special kind of 'bag.
dog for the win.
# posted by : 4:05 PM
: 4:05 PM
I'll have to go with The Turd. It's the mandana coupled with a hint of emo, topped off by the misguided bead bling. Sort it out son.
Regards,
Scroto Baggins
Regards,
Scroto Baggins
# posted by : 4:10 PM
: 4:10 PM
Turd Flush needs to do just that; get flushed down the poopy orifice of the toilet of douchedom. He's got BEADS! The type sixty year old women wear!
This douche is the pick. His douchiness reigns supreme.
This douche is the pick. His douchiness reigns supreme.
# posted by : 4:20 PM
: 4:20 PM
i never vote for the guys who try too hard - dog wins this one even though his hot isnt up to snuff
# posted by : 4:50 PM
: 4:50 PM
Hidey Ho
I'm gonna have to go with Mr. Hanky aka Turd Sandwich.
Giant Douche was appealing tho.
I'm gonna have to go with Mr. Hanky aka Turd Sandwich.
Giant Douche was appealing tho.
# posted by : 4:53 PM
: 4:53 PM
I vote Dog for really lame tat & meticulously manicured, rediculous facial hair.... that & Bono Fly shades, whatta crusty toilet seat this cat is!
# posted by : 5:19 PM
: 5:19 PM
This is a battle that will go in the history books: Cain v Abel, Neo v. Mr. Smith, and now Dog v. Turd Flush.
Whomever comes out on the short end of the loaf will no doubt spend the rest of their lives wondering what more douchery could they have done. In a word: nothing!
I vote for a dual award to Turd Flush and Dog. A double-douche bagger, if you will. Why choose one, when two will be more fun!
kingcityDouche
Whomever comes out on the short end of the loaf will no doubt spend the rest of their lives wondering what more douchery could they have done. In a word: nothing!
I vote for a dual award to Turd Flush and Dog. A double-douche bagger, if you will. Why choose one, when two will be more fun!
kingcityDouche
# posted by : 5:47 PM
: 5:47 PM
Da DAWG.
Much as I hate the turd flush and missed the Prince, I hate the Dog more. His thickened brow and bludgeoning sense of right or wrong have decimated what once was a fine LBFM, I believe to the point where she neither brings up nor even notices things lie, I dunno, an asymmetrical beard. Maybe in between doing one cheek and the next, he forgot the pattern. Look at those arms (notice the viper!!!), you gonna tell this choad whatta douche he is? I certainly am though, and from the safety of anonymity and i'm hoping at least 1,000 miles.
Flush the Turd and Bel-air the Prince, the Dog is out and wants your bleethe.
Much as I hate the turd flush and missed the Prince, I hate the Dog more. His thickened brow and bludgeoning sense of right or wrong have decimated what once was a fine LBFM, I believe to the point where she neither brings up nor even notices things lie, I dunno, an asymmetrical beard. Maybe in between doing one cheek and the next, he forgot the pattern. Look at those arms (notice the viper!!!), you gonna tell this choad whatta douche he is? I certainly am though, and from the safety of anonymity and i'm hoping at least 1,000 miles.
Flush the Turd and Bel-air the Prince, the Dog is out and wants your bleethe.
# posted by : 5:54 PM
: 5:54 PM
At first glance I had to say Dog. The Glorious Douchitude of Dog is difficult to surpass for three reasons: 1) To look upon his snake tattoo and facial hair is to know a dark madness that can only be described as Lovecraftian "unspeakable horror" 2) His glasses are a sure sign of high rank in the Army of Douchness being secretly assembled by the Smoking Irish Fly, and 3) Judging from the box poking out of his pocket, his brand appears to be Marlboro Lights. However, the hottie on is arm is not so hot making the scene dramatically unbalanced, particularly when compared to the Prince. The Prince is a perfectly balanced scene of natural douche/hot mingling. The hotness of blonde hottie's sultry gaze is intoxicating and only magnified by her inebriated friends. Ultimately though what catapults the Price into true stardom is the absolute banality of his brah-scrote doucheness. As DB1 pointed out this is indeed a "reality douche". A Weberian ideal-typical douchebag so unremarkable that he approaches the abstract Platonic form of Douche. I have to vote for the Price.
In reference to Rubber Douchey's post, LBFM (for those never in the Navy) stands for "Little Brown Fucking Machine", aka Philippina. I just wanted all of you to know that.
# posted by : 6:08 PM
: 6:08 PM
This week's pretty easy, it begins and ends with the Prince. First off, Scrotebob is all over this one, there's a pretty good chance that left hott for the Prince is left hot in Lei Hotties. Scrotebob, I bow to you, even if it's not her, the beauty of Lei Hotties rules us all.
Dog is just a caricature with a not hott. He's run of the mill really, if he lost the beard, he'd be just a normal jackass with an ugly tattoo.
Turd Flush made me ponder for a second, but we're talking third world honies here, they look beautiful from afar but will most likely give you a disease if you visit. Blonde hott probably could be decent if she cleaned herself up, and it's hard to say much about Ashley Simpson hott. Douche here looks like a zombie at Mardi Gras.
So anyway, Prince gets the square as I feel like this week, with HBT, Joey Porsche and Xenu, as well as some of the most stunning women to grace this site (I'm looking at you zebra bikini and Annika with Waldouche) is a week of royalty. This has been a fine week, and I'm looking forward to a certainly upcoming Fish Slap picture.
Dog is just a caricature with a not hott. He's run of the mill really, if he lost the beard, he'd be just a normal jackass with an ugly tattoo.
Turd Flush made me ponder for a second, but we're talking third world honies here, they look beautiful from afar but will most likely give you a disease if you visit. Blonde hott probably could be decent if she cleaned herself up, and it's hard to say much about Ashley Simpson hott. Douche here looks like a zombie at Mardi Gras.
So anyway, Prince gets the square as I feel like this week, with HBT, Joey Porsche and Xenu, as well as some of the most stunning women to grace this site (I'm looking at you zebra bikini and Annika with Waldouche) is a week of royalty. This has been a fine week, and I'm looking forward to a certainly upcoming Fish Slap picture.
I vote for the Turd.
Blondie Hott is giving us all the come-hither eye, Brunette Hott is skanky in the best, most interesting way, and Turd is so douchetastic that I just had an involuntary shudder.
Blondie Hott is giving us all the come-hither eye, Brunette Hott is skanky in the best, most interesting way, and Turd is so douchetastic that I just had an involuntary shudder.
DB1 - How do you bear the onslaught, the veritable river of douche that must flood your inbox? The front page alone currently holds enough docheal material to leave me a quivering mold of rage and dispair.
This turd looks like he's rubbed shit under his eyes, with his brow piercing, his rings, bracelet ,and his faggoty Christiano Rinaldo like glare..
Blondie..oh..darling..your left armpit region beckons me home...
This turd looks like he's rubbed shit under his eyes, with his brow piercing, his rings, bracelet ,and his faggoty Christiano Rinaldo like glare..
Blondie..oh..darling..your left armpit region beckons me home...
Dog. Snoop even wrote a song about him. "It's a crazy mixed up world, it's a dog eat dog world..."
# posted by : 6:48 PM
: 6:48 PM
just a couple comments to counter the fine arguments already made.
based on the necessary but unfortunate standards of hcwd voting, dog's girl, who may be attractive enough in the real world, is overwhelmed by escobag.
turd's girls are pros. they are not with him.
pud has the symmetry.
based on the necessary but unfortunate standards of hcwd voting, dog's girl, who may be attractive enough in the real world, is overwhelmed by escobag.
turd's girls are pros. they are not with him.
pud has the symmetry.
Update 2:
After logging off of HCWDB this afternoon, I walked into a client meeting and instead of shaking hands, sniffed his ass....
DOG FTW.
After logging off of HCWDB this afternoon, I walked into a client meeting and instead of shaking hands, sniffed his ass....
DOG FTW.
Dear God, let the turd win... True winners like that make me wish the comet would hit immediately.
# posted by : 8:10 PM
: 8:10 PM
I'd vote for pud just to see the blonde look at me again... but turd's face proves Xenu has a sense of humor. And shaky hands.
Turd for the straight flush.
Turd for the straight flush.
Turd Flush is da winnah! Now throw him a urinal cake as you hit the handle to give him a swirlie. Oh, and excellent side boob.
# posted by : 10:57 PM
: 10:57 PM
This was tough, but I'm going with the Dog.
The beard pattern is only on one side of his face, and it doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. If he meant to do it, then he's extra douchey for trying to start an extra ridiculous trend. On the other hand, if he fucked up the pattern on the left side and decided to go out with it only half finished, then he's extra douchey for being so in love with himself that he thought he didn't look like a complete fucking tool. That's enough to make him the winner.
The beard pattern is only on one side of his face, and it doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. If he meant to do it, then he's extra douchey for trying to start an extra ridiculous trend. On the other hand, if he fucked up the pattern on the left side and decided to go out with it only half finished, then he's extra douchey for being so in love with himself that he thought he didn't look like a complete fucking tool. That's enough to make him the winner.
Beware of the DOG, bitches. He might just go crazy with a beard trimmer on you ass and shave curlicues into your pubes.
# posted by : 3:23 AM
: 3:23 AM
Ok, Dog, if in a club, would stand in the corner nodding his head, arm round his lady (pictured) and occasionally take a sip from his beer. He’s harmless and only looks the way he does because he’s an idiot.
On the other hand, look at Turd Flush. Look at him in the same club slime and sleaze his way around the room, leaving a trail of translucent mucus on everything he touches. Look at his tongue flicker from his serpentine head as he tastes the air for Greco particles secreted from Bleethed out girls. His beady, mascara coated eyes focus in, and he pounces.
Turd Flush is your HCwDB of the week.
On the other hand, look at Turd Flush. Look at him in the same club slime and sleaze his way around the room, leaving a trail of translucent mucus on everything he touches. Look at his tongue flicker from his serpentine head as he tastes the air for Greco particles secreted from Bleethed out girls. His beady, mascara coated eyes focus in, and he pounces.
Turd Flush is your HCwDB of the week.
# posted by : 3:28 AM
: 3:28 AM
I never vote, but Dog with his sharpie drawn on 3 strand beard has motivated me to take part in democracy. It's like a triple cholla eyebrow, so thin and precise that it makes you wonder if maybe the snake-drawer had just enough ink left to permanently make his face look as stupid as his steroid arm?
I would like to preface my vote by saying that whoever discovered the picture of Dog snorting cocaine as a result of Googling "cocaine" should be immediately appointed to the position of Director of the Central Intelligence Agency. I believe that Osama Bin Laden's exact location would be discovered with 30 minutes after the swearing-in ceremony. Sir, that was simply a tremendous and stupendous find.
While Dog is douche personified, unfortunately his hott (or the lack thereof) disqualifies him from winning the weekly, however I see the potential for a return appearance given the fact that there are other pics of The Dog floating around. Sooner or later we're gonna see Dog's portrait again, but next time he'll be paired with a hott that will make us all weep.
Turd, I believe, is a pro 'Bag. I believe this is his MySpace here, but I can't be positive: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=51722786
This should disqualify him if it's actually him.
Which leaves Prince of Pud as this week's winner. His facial expression screams, "I AM DOUCHE, SEE ME DOUCHE!" He has everything from the doucheface to the hand gestures to the hotts to the scrotey friend in the background. I'm also finding myself destroying things every time I glance at his picture. Pud FTW.
While Dog is douche personified, unfortunately his hott (or the lack thereof) disqualifies him from winning the weekly, however I see the potential for a return appearance given the fact that there are other pics of The Dog floating around. Sooner or later we're gonna see Dog's portrait again, but next time he'll be paired with a hott that will make us all weep.
Turd, I believe, is a pro 'Bag. I believe this is his MySpace here, but I can't be positive: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=51722786
This should disqualify him if it's actually him.
Which leaves Prince of Pud as this week's winner. His facial expression screams, "I AM DOUCHE, SEE ME DOUCHE!" He has everything from the doucheface to the hand gestures to the hotts to the scrotey friend in the background. I'm also finding myself destroying things every time I glance at his picture. Pud FTW.
# posted by : 5:08 AM
: 5:08 AM
gee willickers douchebag! perhaps one of the finest weekly assemblies ever assembled... the dog... by sheer volume.
# posted by : 5:43 AM
: 5:43 AM
@Rizzo
Ah, you, he knows what the fuck I'm talkin about. AND DON'T HAVE ME COME DOWN THERE AFTER YOU EITHER. TOUGH GUY!
Ah, you, he knows what the fuck I'm talkin about. AND DON'T HAVE ME COME DOWN THERE AFTER YOU EITHER. TOUGH GUY!
In light of Douche Mahoney's revelation that the Turd Flush is in fact a pro (the actual picture is on his myspace), I am going to have to withdraw my nomination.
Instead I pass it to Dog. Although his hott falls well short of standard, I feel that it would be wrong not to pay respects to his genius.
The other option, of course, would have been to give it to the prince. Out of the three candidates, he certainly has the hotts, but I find his douchebaggery somewhat underwhelming.
Dog ftw.
Instead I pass it to Dog. Although his hott falls well short of standard, I feel that it would be wrong not to pay respects to his genius.
The other option, of course, would have been to give it to the prince. Out of the three candidates, he certainly has the hotts, but I find his douchebaggery somewhat underwhelming.
Dog ftw.
# posted by : 7:10 AM
: 7:10 AM
The Price of Pud.
He's the only asshole of the three who is keeping true to the douche/hott phenomenon. Bonus points for the "barely legal" status of the hotts. Double points for the mutant who can't keep their finger off the camera lens. Triple word score for the vice-douche flashing the "Lazy Shocker."
He's the only asshole of the three who is keeping true to the douche/hott phenomenon. Bonus points for the "barely legal" status of the hotts. Double points for the mutant who can't keep their finger off the camera lens. Triple word score for the vice-douche flashing the "Lazy Shocker."
Turd Flash
The arrogant almost-sneer, the ludicrous eyebrow piercing, the beads, the sunglasses and mandana combo--As others have said, Turd Flush here is the only one who really makes me violently ill from his scrote-ness. The hotts are drunk-sluts...and I'm okay with that, because little Ms Ball-licking Red-haid...well, that strikes a fetish of mine. The eyes are the window to the soul, and if you peer deep into Turd's photo-glare eyes you see,,,,he has no soul, and he truly believes that he deserves this. That is what is really rage inducing.
The arrogant almost-sneer, the ludicrous eyebrow piercing, the beads, the sunglasses and mandana combo--As others have said, Turd Flush here is the only one who really makes me violently ill from his scrote-ness. The hotts are drunk-sluts...and I'm okay with that, because little Ms Ball-licking Red-haid...well, that strikes a fetish of mine. The eyes are the window to the soul, and if you peer deep into Turd's photo-glare eyes you see,,,,he has no soul, and he truly believes that he deserves this. That is what is really rage inducing.
# posted by : 9:07 AM
: 9:07 AM
Turd. On the basis that it is simply too painful to look at. Taking douchery to new heights.
# posted by : 10:01 AM
: 10:01 AM
Dog, without a doubt. I could care less that his girl looks like commom street trash hooker whore tranny slut cum-dumpster. He is everything that is wrong with the world and the first sign of the impending apocalypse.
Dog FTW
Dog FTW
I'm strapped for time right now, and was just going to say fuckit, put 'em all in the HoS because, well, look ath them! But! Thenit occurred to me that Dog should win it because he seems to more fully live the Douche life every day in every way. Even in prison.
Machiavelli was a douche. Which is to say I vote for The Prince.
Yeah, Dog is roided up and has the ridiculous racing stripes on his face. But other than that, there's really not much that's douche. Plus his hott really isn't hot.
Turd definitely is a douche of the cartoonish variety, but the hotts have sadly gone the way of the Fair Maiden Bleeth. They're not Stage 4, but they will be soon enough. If we were voting simply on the douche and not considering the hott, then he would be the winner.
But The Prince? The shaved chest, the necklace, the chin pubes, and the "Yeah, I look goooooood" smirk all scream douche. What puts him in the clear is the quality of the hotts. All sorority-girl-next-door goodness. And you *know* that if they continue hanging with his kind they'll go the way of the Fair Maiden. And then they'll be pictured with the likes of Turd.
But The Prince got there first. He will be the one to corrupt them and send them on a spiral that leads to doggybagging in bars, clutching a bottle of Grey Goose in one hand while making the shocker with the other.
For that reason, I vote for The Prince. If only as a warning to other fair maidens.
Yeah, Dog is roided up and has the ridiculous racing stripes on his face. But other than that, there's really not much that's douche. Plus his hott really isn't hot.
Turd definitely is a douche of the cartoonish variety, but the hotts have sadly gone the way of the Fair Maiden Bleeth. They're not Stage 4, but they will be soon enough. If we were voting simply on the douche and not considering the hott, then he would be the winner.
But The Prince? The shaved chest, the necklace, the chin pubes, and the "Yeah, I look goooooood" smirk all scream douche. What puts him in the clear is the quality of the hotts. All sorority-girl-next-door goodness. And you *know* that if they continue hanging with his kind they'll go the way of the Fair Maiden. And then they'll be pictured with the likes of Turd.
But The Prince got there first. He will be the one to corrupt them and send them on a spiral that leads to doggybagging in bars, clutching a bottle of Grey Goose in one hand while making the shocker with the other.
For that reason, I vote for The Prince. If only as a warning to other fair maidens.
# posted by : 3:53 PM
: 3:53 PM
Dog is Douche de la Semana. With that anteater wrapped around his arm and extreme man-scaping, there is no equal.
Prince, if I saw you, I'd roll my eyes and dismiss you as a huge douche. But this is a weekly, and you may be a big scrote in that small club, but this is the weekly, son, and your game isn't up to snuff.
Dog, while clearly a gentleman, bears that racing stripe beard topiary which cannot be ignored. Nor can that dangerous python coiled around his arm. The snake tat is obvious, too. OOH, SNAP! But, seriously, folks, all the eyeshadow, and her tat may as well say "Penis Entry Port" above the arrow. Sweetheart, you're a dishonor to such a stately man.
Then, like a shining dillweed in the night comes my pick for the winner: Take a bow, Turd Flush. You may be wearing mascara, or it may be fatigue from wrangling another couple hundred from your father, but either way, it's bad. Your mandana/sunglasses combo doesn't completely hide the Mark on your forehead, either. But you look smug from nabbing a pair of tongue-wagging honeybuns, when you should instead be hiding in Davy Jones' closet. You're the winner, Turd Flush.
Dog, while clearly a gentleman, bears that racing stripe beard topiary which cannot be ignored. Nor can that dangerous python coiled around his arm. The snake tat is obvious, too. OOH, SNAP! But, seriously, folks, all the eyeshadow, and her tat may as well say "Penis Entry Port" above the arrow. Sweetheart, you're a dishonor to such a stately man.
Then, like a shining dillweed in the night comes my pick for the winner: Take a bow, Turd Flush. You may be wearing mascara, or it may be fatigue from wrangling another couple hundred from your father, but either way, it's bad. Your mandana/sunglasses combo doesn't completely hide the Mark on your forehead, either. But you look smug from nabbing a pair of tongue-wagging honeybuns, when you should instead be hiding in Davy Jones' closet. You're the winner, Turd Flush.
rough week, as all of these candidates are worthy, but I've got to go with the Prince of Pud, since he's got Prince Caspian as a sidekick and his hotties don't look coked-out.
# posted by : 5:26 PM
: 5:26 PM
Wow!, and, by Wow!, I mean Poo flying in three directions...first off, Turd Flush is just too gross for words, unless the words are 'projectile vomit', what are they?, wanna-be Vampires....eeeyuchh!
Secondly, the Prince....Pochahontas kissing him is maybe OK, as is what I take to be her sister on her shoulder, but, he just doesn't piss me off enough for the win.
Ahhhh, Dog. First off, I think you guys are wrong about there being anything other than a Kitty-Kat hiding just Millimeters below the waist of her jeans,would I bring her to show Ma?....not, or, my friends?...not, but, would I do her?, again, and again, until dawn?, you bet!, and, the Dog is such a 'Bag that, if he wiped out on his bike right in front of my Truck, the only thing that would piss me off is if his belt buckle pierced my radiator....Dog, F-T-W
'Ol Bagnanimous
Secondly, the Prince....Pochahontas kissing him is maybe OK, as is what I take to be her sister on her shoulder, but, he just doesn't piss me off enough for the win.
Ahhhh, Dog. First off, I think you guys are wrong about there being anything other than a Kitty-Kat hiding just Millimeters below the waist of her jeans,would I bring her to show Ma?....not, or, my friends?...not, but, would I do her?, again, and again, until dawn?, you bet!, and, the Dog is such a 'Bag that, if he wiped out on his bike right in front of my Truck, the only thing that would piss me off is if his belt buckle pierced my radiator....Dog, F-T-W
'Ol Bagnanimous
# posted by : 6:21 PM
: 6:21 PM
Dog, by far.
Turd is bad but sad enough to get by.
Dog has raped more girls than the spawn of all the Kennedy's combined. The beard alone puts him over the top.
Turd is bad but sad enough to get by.
Dog has raped more girls than the spawn of all the Kennedy's combined. The beard alone puts him over the top.
This like looking at the throne trying to decide which cornhole escapee you want to ingest.
but since we're in his domain I got to say the Flush takes the POT
but since we're in his domain I got to say the Flush takes the POT
# posted by : 8:34 PM
: 8:34 PM
Dog doesn't need the balance DB1 describes.
See him not as mere animus, but anima and animus combined.
The power of the tribeard makes it so.
See him not as mere animus, but anima and animus combined.
The power of the tribeard makes it so.
# posted by : 1:43 AM
: 1:43 AM
From the first, I wanted to vote for Dog, simply because of the "Yeah Brother" factor in his WWE, roid induced triple chin strap. But his "companion" is simply so far below even an average dame, that I cannot in good faith vote for him.
Turd Flush, is douchey, but his "hotts" are pretty much immune to all anti-biotics, and the patient zeros of all known super strain STDs. Even the glorious side boob cannot prevail here.
The Prince wins by default, but on closer inspection, the vacant stare, the faux-"shocker" and Blondie McBlow-you-now in the foreground bring the ratio of baggery/hott to it's rightful, proper level.
Prince FTW
And to anonymous @9:20. I thank you sincerely for helping bring back the word hobos.
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Turd Flush, is douchey, but his "hotts" are pretty much immune to all anti-biotics, and the patient zeros of all known super strain STDs. Even the glorious side boob cannot prevail here.
The Prince wins by default, but on closer inspection, the vacant stare, the faux-"shocker" and Blondie McBlow-you-now in the foreground bring the ratio of baggery/hott to it's rightful, proper level.
Prince FTW
And to anonymous @9:20. I thank you sincerely for helping bring back the word hobos.
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