The lack of any sense of humour or irony in Joey PorscheDesign's pose or facial expression makes him eminently punchable.

Then again, a sense of humour is never the douchebag's strong suit, is it. Humour requires a modicum of intelligence.

And yet, the women fall for it; as always, as always.
 

huuurrr, duurrr, arg, my brain hurts. SO MUCH FAKE. oi, im gonna be sick. the tans are so deep on the white girls that i cant tell if its real or fake, either way it doesn't look good. premature aging ftw. your skin tone was not designed to be out in the sun for that long. and top it off with really bad dye jobs, i just love the feel of totally dead and fried hair catching through my fingers. i didn't thing douche suits were allowed by pools. kinda like making your kid wear a swim diaper in the water, they need a douche diaper to keep from spreading the douche sludge that comes off their hair and greasy extremities.
 

dibs on stripes
 

the likelihood of inane chatter is through the roof on this one.
 

If he has an accident by the pool, the yellow wristband is a clear indicator not to resuscitate. Keep your fingers crossed.
 

Sociologists in the future will call this the "Paris Hilton" effect. Very Sad.
 

How, on what planet or what parallel dimension, is this acceptable??? For that matter, how is this fair? Either Joey is photoshopped in there, which I doubt, or else these fine young lasses are three milliseconds away from punching this turbo-douche in the gullet and lighting that goofy-ass track suit on fire as seagulls pick at his eyeballs.
Please, don't disabuse me of my belief in the balance of the universe!
 

This is what happens when Vietnam vets exposed to agent orange procreate.
 

Rejoice all, Joey P's case of hemorrhoids is acting up, either that or he's regretting that he was the bottom this time around
 

The bleeth on the right probably shouldn't take fashion tips from Sheeva.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

um orange!
 

I see the way you paint your lips and I smell your perfume
And I see the brand new colors you dye your hair too
I know, I know, that love is chemical.

May the pool be full of hydrochloric acid and may they all dive in at once.

No mas. NO MAS!
 

!
 

This kid must be the real life AJ Soprano. What else can explain the attraction from the ladies?
 

Wanna Douche
Don't You wanna
Wanna Douche

Hey There Joey P don't feel so sad
Here's some axe that'll clear those crabs

Wanna Douche
Don't you wanna
Wanna Douche
 

In what universe are these chicks not tossed aside after a drunken facial? In what world is a total simp like Joey Porsche allowed to live?

Guidette POS
 

Tranny in the Middle meets The Wonder Douche, starting Joey Porsche and Himberly De Vine. And by De Vine I mean...

Holy boob seperation and nutt drop - I need a shot of the real Danica McKellar, cause this is making me sick...

Douche Johnson
 

I'd do any one of those chicks except for the one in the gray. She's definitely the grenade.

The current Vegas over / under on the combined IQ of these 5 individuals:

23

I bet they all menstruate together.
 

Is that "Live Douche" wristband on our man?



Jesus Fucking Christ. Now this airport is playing a Musak version of "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows. Do not ever have a long layover at Greenville-Spartanburg or you will be forced to murder yourself.
 

Come ON people, Joey's just Joey man, he cain help it, hater. Joey just holdin it DEE-own for thuh muthafuckin oh-8, straight? Bitches, pleez, stay off a niggaz jock, noam-sain?
 

They used to call it "Spring Break" before JP done up and done it. Now it's called "Spring Fixed."

If anything in this photo is shopped, it's red-cup blonde's right foot. "Hey Jessica, why don't you put on those big ass thirteens and kick it for the homies?"

It's hard to squint and make the kissy lips at the same time, Joey. Where are your sunglasses?
 

Oh. My. Go. Tranny. Messes.

This is what we're fighting to keep safe from the terrorists?

Really?
 

red cupp peroxide hott looks like she's been hit with an ugly stick! plastic surgery gone wrong?
 

Create Your Own Douchebag


http://mrl.nyu.edu/~perlin/facedemo/

Finally, we have a model that we can scientfically study.
 

good to see joey p's plastic sex doll is still in good shape
 

Live from the Essex County Community Pool!
 

Yep sunny day by the pool, wearing a track suit to hide a scrawny ass bod!
 

Stripes' mom forgot to tech her to keep he legs together. She should work on that... or maybe not.
 

It's the guidish bikini teaM. At first glance enjoying springbreak at some tropical location... but a closer look and it's obvious they are at a public swimming pool in Hoboken, NJ? No, Jersey City, NJ, No, NEWARK new jersey. Yes. Jersey girls will put there bare muffins down on public chaise lounges, and show up on a summer day with nary a towel. And if they'll do that, they'll think nothing of hanging out with a giant douchebag like JoeyP. What a punkass with his marlboro lightand his corona and his two earrings and his little clubwristbands... and the jogging suit straight off Tony Soprano's back. Sripes... you naugty girl. I know the plastic lawn chair bands are putting griddle marks on your back and butt cheeks. Bring'em over here darlin; let me soothe them ... bring your platinum blonde ho's with you if you want.
 

They're addicted...
 

Having recently watched Greg Maddux dominate the LA Dodgers, I've realized that the reason Joseph Porsche is my favorite "legend" is because he reminds me of Maddux. Maddux goes out there and pitches his game. He doesn't try to do too much, he just works with what he has. Now, there are douches that are muscled (Gator), douches that have a signature move (Fish Slap), and douches that just plain boggle the mind (Millennium).

But day in, day out, Joseph Porsche poses with the same girl (blondie to his left whose hair must be just ruined now, it has been dyed so much). He always has his bottle of alcohol with him, even though he's underage, and he always has the look of entitlement that is so awesome from one who has done so little. So Porsche, I salute you, you keep handling your bidness, getting it done with the same girl day after day, despite the other available hotties (stripes, I'm looking in your general direction).

While Maddux might be under appreciated because of his low-key approach to the game and life, so will we truly realize the majesty that is the Joey Porsche Experience long after he's gone.
 

None of the four bleeths are even moderately attractive. Everything about them is fake - tans, hair color, boobs, facelifts.

Joey P is textbook guido-douche.

Lock and load.
 

Orange and bleeth go together like stink and shit. I haven't seen this much orange in one place since I left Florida. Fucking one of these umm er ladies is comparable to jerking off to a basketball, hell the b-ball is probably the better choice at least you wouldn't have to listen to it bitch about it's latest fucked up pedicure.

Orange is the new idiot.
 

Zounds!

A symphony of wrongness here.

Blonde w/ URC seems to have had a slight misdiagnosis on that herpes. Judging from the deterioration, we may be talkin' leprosy. Ding ding ding... I don't think even Barry White could save a tumble in the hay when the parts start coming off.

Stripes [hair: skunk, bikini: zebra] is a very nice package, but is probably doomed from exposure to douche/bleeth radiation. Sad.
 

Vertical stripes mixed with horizontal stripes? hasn't this girl been watching her bravo or tyra
 

Joey P chillin' with the ladees yo!

The crotch-rocket induced hair style is what the Hott craves.
 

i think butterfly-flower bikini is the real prospect amongst the ladies...striped does have the crotch shot but her overall appearance tells me she is on her way to that gravelly voiced broad day drinkers know as being really nice until her stories get interrupted then she sounds like norm van brocklin without nfl films editing out the funny parts...yes butterfly needs to watch the squint and the 6 head but at least she isn't battling third degree crotch rot and has the option of closing her legs
 

God. Can this picture get any more processed? Why is that pinhead wearing a sweatsuit when its hot enough to wear bikinis? I thought only the homeless schizophrenics dress too heavy for warm weather. Where does shit like this happen? Please tell me so I will never go there for vacation.
Dude is holding that bottle like he's posing for a gay magazine.
 

Its a bit sad and pathetic to look at this. I would bet that, of the 5, 4 have never had proper sex. The one possible exception is the one that looks like a skinny Minnie Driver that made her bikini out of my Great-Aunt Mildred's sofa.

Check Joey suckin on a fag and emulating a look that The Diceman self-mockingly wore.
 

Gross! kill it! kill it!
 

Nasty little douche of a turd.
Toad scum.
 

I'll admit it. I've missed the J.P. Experience. I guess I've got addikted to what his gel did.

He looks like someone rubbed brown shoe polish on Lindsay Buckingham, dressed him in a Tony Soprano Halloween suit and then tricked him into looking inside an office trash can with an IED in it. All is right with the world; I can accept that.

But why the fuck is Kevin Bacon sitting poolside with him, wearing a blonde she-mullet wig and holding a red cup? And Rob Schneider to the right, as well....?
 

It's a Corona bottle, not yer cock; relax the grip, son...
 

For some reason, I think JP must work nights at a pizza joint.

Hey, I thought the cotton sweats went the way of the Members Only jacket? My bad.
 

I truly do beleive that Mr. Porsche is the anonymous spawn love child of Joey Buttafuco.

The pic of him with Stiffler's Mother at a club holding a bottle of Goose is rediculous.

The four girls he's with look as fake as Pamela Anderson's boobies.

Joey super douche Porsche should receive a colombian neck tie and then be publicly stoned until his Buttafuco track suit is bloodied and battered.
 

The chick with the striped bikini is smoking, Joey P eats salami out of her ass.
 

Man, you just gotta love Joey. I mean, you severely want to punch him in his stupid orange face, but you gotta love the tenacity. He truley is a champion in his field. He is utterly unapologetic about his complete douchocity. He constanty hangs out with the most fake, orange Jersey sluts. Seriously, he got up this morning. Worked meticulously on his hair, then said, fuck it. Its an underwear and jogging suit kinda day, capiche?
 

New 'Bags on the Block
 

New 'Bags on the Block
 

The legend returns.

By the way, why is there only one Joey Porsche picture in his HoS profile? We have enough douchey pictures of this guy to fill an album but we only have one link in the HoS.

For my money, if there were a HCwDB lifetime achievement award, this greaseball would win.
 

I like the chaise lounges in HoJo blue probably bought post Labor Day somewhere on route 17.
 

I agree with Douchey McDOuche. Why only one pic of Joey in the HoS? There are so many great pics of him! And for my money, it doesn't get much douchier than Joey.
 

Joey Porsche............Never forget.
 

this is the closest resemblance to an oompa loompa i've ever seen in real life. the scary thing is is that he probably lacks the knowledge or intent to look like an oompa loompa, which makes this pic that much more awesomer. seriously, HoS fo' lyfe.
 

Shit was SO cash.
 

In my Sunday sermon I ask us to not forget...that these hose bags are as tan and cheesy as Joey Porsche.
 

Orange and stupid is no way to go through life people!!!

Oh.... And Fuck Fish Slap!!!
 

Am I crazy or is Joey Porsche one of the Oompa Prompa's? Does it make me a bigot that all these guys are starting to look alike?

Apologies if someone already pointed out Joey P's resemblance to the Prompas.
 

Have the gods no mercy?
 

lousy metal watch not burning from chemical reaction from orange proves that procreation can occur. J. P. should be smoking a capri cigg. my hair looked better after a toilet bowel dunk. if there was a god, he/she/it would come down and stop this. too bad that his elbow bocks yet another navel piercing. carbon copy hotts, and a all too regular douche. neato.
 

Id say by the ultra stiff posing constantly seen in Jo Jos posing ...he really drives a KIA Spectra...with a real cool Porche key ring.
 

My god. I have ignored everything until stripes came along. Seeing such a ripe chunk of hott sexpot with such a pole-smoker of a douche makes me want to puke. I just ate too, so everything would still be recognizable. I would love to take that corona and shove it up his douchey ass, then throw him off a bridge in the dead of winter so his ugly mug would hit the ice instead. And then take stripes home for the weekend....not. I'm way to pale for her taste.
 

hey! were do u POSSIBLY FOUND THESE PICTURES????

I KNOW THE BLOND GIRL WITH THE SUNGLASSES!!! THE OTHER BLOND IS HER SISTER!!! AREN'T THEY FROM CHICAGO?

from ines
 

After an extended -and unsuccessful- battle with a bottle of MagicTan, Joey Porche just to take a much-overdue Swisher Sweets and Tequiza break.
 

Does the girl on the far right have a c-section scar???
 

your skin looks like leather. and the peroxide, hair spray, and aqua net they all use must eat their brain cells, cant wait to see what these fuckers look like in 10 years (when they arent so young and tite)
 

he's a guido from long island and all but one of those girls are from jersey and they are actually hot
 

They are hot...He's obviously a trust fund kid. The girls just like the bottle service he gets them. Small cock too. And guaranteed unemployed. I'd like him on my paving crew. Couple pipe-hitting motherfuckers take care of him...