Now THAT is a fuckin' douchebag!
 

You need to pull that tilt down a little farther I can still see your penis nose. Fuck you dicknose.
 

This is one of the most rage inducing pics I've seen in days.

I hate them both.
 

Now this is a compelling argument for increased border security.
 

God damn it! Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, you go and post a photo of this fuck stick.

Set the wood chopper to "pulverize" this time before jumping in there wearing those pants. And that pasty lip gloss and cheap, Maybeline cover-up you're wearing doesn't detract the fact that you need to trim the foreskin on the penis growing between your eyes.
 

I hate douchebags.
I hate them, yes I do.
I hate them when they smell like poo.
I hate them tilt hat and all.
I hate them all, be it big or small.


--Dr. Seuss Douche
 

That's TWO douchebags.
 

He's the reason my kids will need to learn to speak Chinese. We are doomed.
 

Ew.
 

Thank god he rocks his cell phone on the outside, he obviously knows how rare it is for someone to carry one of those, gotta flash the scrilla!!!

Someone bash a bottle of Zima over my head, this fucker and his she-douche put me over the edge
 

Wow. Nice thug revolutionary punk Cuban guerrilla gay Jersey b-boy thing you two have going on there. By the way, your nose does, in fact, looks like a penis (good call Baggins).

By the way, is this chump wearing TWO belts? If so, ah HA HA HA HA HA! Oh wow. You know, guy, it really would be best if you told your sister that she is simply NOT allowed to dress you anymore.
 

Oh.



My.



God.
 

I thought there was supposed to be a Hott somewhere in the picture. Seems like lately it's been all douchebags and no Hotts. Maybe start a different category for just douchebags. That way I can skip the high concentration of douchiness.
 

i hope you paid a fucking lot for those fucking pant you clown shoe wearing douchebag
 

so THAT'S where underdouche's pants got to...Run over by the bus then uber douchette patched them up with old pieces of this choad's boxers so he could look "fly." God, looking at this picture is like trying to figure out wtf you just threw up. Confusing, gross, and stinky.

There is much douche in this one...
 

UGH - way to busy for me
Binge
Purge
Repeat
 

cute cell phone...btw, vanilla ice called, he wants his belt back
 

Superfluous studded white belt.

Keep a chokehold on that vampire, douchebag.
 

Nice red star hat Commie. Why not just sport a swastika to da club next time?

Affliction shirt, post-emo white belt, afro-saxon jeans, cell phone...wait, is he wearing TWO belts? I wear two belts at work because I'm a cop - other guys who work for a living have tool belts, but this is the first douche-rig I have ever seen.

And she is just horrible. That hat should be incinerated. And you just know she has a tribal tramp stamp...

Please tell me this photo was taken in some stupid, foreign country and not the USA. Please.
 

I would gladly fund the cell of extremists that plots to hijack and fly a plane into these two crapstraws. Their existence is a bad omen, a very bad omen. No good can come of this.
 

I didn't think anyone under 50 who doesn't work construction wore their phone on their hip either
 

wait, is that a white belt or a white bandolier?
 

Dude, if you're girlfriend talks too much just either:
a. tell her to shut the fuck up or you'll take the credit cards away, or
b. get her too sauced to talk.

But don't put her in a headlock and try to choke her with your Axepit - that's just cruel.
 

A pair of balls called - they want thier dick back, dicknose. Anyway, why do you need two?
 

I think there is a hott body buried somewhere under all those roses and the Dalek hat. Say what you like about communism, at least under Castro this fuckwad never would have been able to round up his jangling plethora of 'bagaphernalia. Is there some school of Douche-fu out there that teaches that chokehold to every wannabe 'bag?
 

as anon so aptly stated earlier...

OH






MY






GOD.

So repulsive. So revolting. It's almost too easy, DB1. Even oompa-prompa consider this guy to be uberdouche.
 

Give that Ambiguously Gay Douche another Black Cherry Breezer and he might just squeeze more than the trucker hat off his Faghag.

Which one of these two has gone down on more dudes? Those aren't female pubes caught on Bag's Jesus bling.
 

nice gunt!
 

Can we talk about the double belt effect?

The white belt is douchey in and of itself, but when worn with a perfectly functional black belt as simply a "fashion statement"? I think we have reached a new level of Doucheousity here
 

nice pants
 

two for the woodchipper please!
 

gayest poutyface ever.
 

What the fuck.

This guy just won a Douchie.
 

the best part is... i KNOW this kid!
 

I hate this guy, I hate this chick, I hate everything about it.

Ugh I hope this idiot nose fucks her until her hat falls behind her Hello Kitty bed where she cant reach it.

-Parker Lewis Cant Douche
 

Cigarette in his left hand. He'll be gone soon enough.
 

Pink.

Cell.




Holy.

Shit.







This is as frightening as watching th 2006 remake of George Romero's underrated classic "Dawn of the Douche". It was the precursor to "Day of the Douche" and was so unsettling as to be banned in much of the free world -- except New Jersey.

To the weekly, please, DB1.

Pronto.
 

@ PLCD

Nose fucks her? Bwaaaahaaa haaaa that is the funniest shit I've read on this site in a loooong while. Thanks man I haven't laughed so hard that a ramen noodle came out of my nose since...wait that never happened before. Is that even medically possible? Shit what if something seriously bad just happened and I'm hemorrhaging somewhere? Shit! Grandma? Grandpa?
 

What's wrong with his skin? Has he been to the tanning booth too many times this week, or was he injected with something? Is that stubble or the contents of an ashtray? What gives?
 

Steaming Douche Troughs like this make me wonder...

...I don't see how this level of Douche can be bred in a single generation...

...nor by accident...

...it must be intentional...

...is he the Kwisatz Haderbag?


~CathBag
 

This is the reason why the terrorists want to kill us.
 

Miami: what happens when Jersey residents flock to warm weather.

Classic douchebag prototype. Nice find, DB1.
 

For the love of all things good & decent in this world, somebody please take an impact drill to choadnose's face!

Through this image gushes a torrent of utter doucherie. It hits you from the foreground, top to bottom, spanning a spectrum of 10% tilted communist chic, mangina pout, barbie mobile technologie, and as many have noted: TWO belts!! TWO!!!

The masochistic observer, unable to avert their gaze, will notice a cascade of all things penishead lurking in the background of this photo. Yes, my douche-sleuth senses detect a second tosser in this image, albeit based solely on posterior garb.

While the hott is definitely not up to snuff, this photo should be a big contender for the weekly.
 

she is pretty cute
too bad she has passed the point of no return
 

pink pearl phone.
self denial or sure of manhood?
hmmmmmmmm
 

There is the brink of Doucheness...and there is the abyss.

This 'bag and his hag are waaaaaay the fuck down there. One barbed wire necktie coming right up.

Though, i might have to thumper in the dumper.
 

Cathbag,

He is the Kwisatz Haderdouche!

-Douche Leto
 

"Yo homie, wassup. Check it, don't wreck it. Dat hat is off da hook. Yo, bro. Deez nuts on yo chin"
 

I'm going to be honest here, I'm not hating on her here. Of course I'm a sucker for girls with dark hair and light eyes, so maybe I'm just blinded. Other than that, this picture is completely irredeemable. Number one, girlie to the right, leggings and Uggs is the second stupidest look ever (I'm looking in your general direction skirts with Uggs).

As far as Chester Bennington douche here, I would never deign as to quote Maddox, but his diatribe on folks who wear Castro hats is a must read. As for his pants, those things probably cost $150, however I could easily make the same look with bleach and a pair of scissors. Also, Famous Stars & Straps belt, Affliction shirt, I'm either very scared of him, or scared that I can now recognize such accouterments. The good thing, it seems that they're encased by blue lasers, so we're all safe...for now....
 

DB1, you are magnifico! Is there no bottom to your well of douchosity? They just keep coming and getting worse every week. The pants, the shirt, the fucking hat with the commie star and the eminem look topped of with a clone of a young, drunken Liza Minnelli skank all add up to the most vomit inducing picture I've seen in weeks. Bravo! Now take these two out deep sea fishing and don't bring them back.
 

So, if I put Christina Aguilera in a choke hold, do you think she would notice if I steal her cell phone?

-Madeline Kahn's Black Schnitzengrubben
 

So young to be so douche. But when you hang with the black douche hole that is the Miamy Whammy you can't help but be lost forever.
 

Class IV Bleeth Alert!!

*sob*
 

Am I looking at the same picture as you all? The "man" in the picture is a fucktard and makes me wish that New Jersey wasn't covered by the Eighth Amendment. However, I could not disagree more about the hott. Yes, she is a vacuous slut. Yes, she almost certainly has a tramp stamp. Yes, she almost certainly has her navel pierced. Yes, she wears Ed Hardy, one of the sure-fire indicators that a girl is a skank. Yes, she has herpes. But give me 10 shots of absolut and her a half-bottle of smirnoff ice and there is no limit to the lewd and frankly immoral things I would do to that chick. Then, I would split and let this tool use his parent's 500 dollar per month allowance on diapers and baby formula instead of affliction products and designer jeans.
 

those may be the worst looking pair of jeans ever
 

I think it's so cool that this guy has a cell phone...awesome!
 

Ive said it once and ill say it again.....not being a sponsored MMA fighter and wearing AFFLICTION shirts = automatic stage 5 douche. Go shoot urself, thnx
 

Bill Clinton called; he needs his nose back now.

Douche.
 

This is clearly a photo of TWO douchebags.
 

whoa.

at first it thought that maybe this was a douchebag-themed party. but then upon further inspection, i see that these two actually meant to dress that way. therefore, fuck you both.

it would seem that between Miami and New jersey, the East Coast has a lock on all that is douchebag. of course, then there's San Diego and LA. and then Oklahoma City. meh, maybe i am thinking too much this morning.

i'll talk with you all later. coffee time.
 

In my mind I reach into the photo... gently lift Hobo Jeans and Rosy up, set them atop a steel drum full of gun powder and flick a Bic on the fast fuse.
 

Among the Seminoles he is called Alligator Chum. She is known as Dingleberry.
 

Look at the FLANK....give her a Red Bull enema, put 50 walnuts up her ass, and watch her pierce a Kevlar vest at 50 paces. She's part Lolita, part Marsupial, and can bounce it outside or get some tough yards between the tackles.

He is a Sandanista shit souffle'
 

Just can't get over the potential source of friction with those thighs. Somewhere in Russia, there's KGB guy staring at a screen trying to figure out an unidentified "heat signature".

I bet when she walks, her thighs make a sound like the secret catepillar drive in The Hunt For Red October.
 

Maybe it is just because I am not particularly attracted to the swarthy-chick type, but this chick is not the least bit attractive. He's got the douche-face that says "now what the hell do you want. Can't you tell I'm too fucking cool to be wasting my time with you taking my picture? I'm a stone-cold pimp, yo. I got to get out of here so I can go Mercedes shopping."
Congrats, Menudo 'Bag. HCwDB collectively mocks you. You can not fool the Choad-Nation.
 

Not since I dropped 6 gel tabs of acid in college have i seen so many colors and random patterns, this is obviously some kind of douche/douchette-convention, look at the assclown with the beanie hat in the background...

~ifionlyhadadouche
 

The more I look at this picture, the angrier I get. She needs a good hate fucking.
 

This kid's balls haven't even dropped yet
 

Too bad he wasn't inside those jeans when they were slashed beyond recognition.
 

"Sure I can hold it for you. Which belt do you want me to display it on?"
 

I think Miamy Scammy was what they called it after the focus groups, since "Ipecac UpChunk" tested poorly.
 

Hey this should be credited to the site Hot Chicks with Ferengi.
 

He's the worst kind o douche, the controlling, over protective, hater kind. Judging by the hold he has on the girl. Probably bought her the hat & made her wear it 'cause it matches his jeans. Loser. Her away from him & his grip without the hat bet she is all kinds of sweet goodness. Hot.
Girl lose him & come to me, I'll be your sugar daddy.
 

"...we're a couple of swells..."

Opening night at the Chilean youth theater production of Easter Parade. (Costume design by Jackson Pollock)
 

Wearing Affliction=Douchebag
Ed hardy in the background=douche party
She is wearing ed hardy=equals douchette (but id still tear her apart)
 

eyes ... hurt ..
 

Hot Chicks with Ferengi! Holy shit Now that's funny!
 

What a fucking trainwreck.

yeah. its not creative. im too mad to think straight
 

I don't know where to start...

It looks like Crissbag Angel got eiffel towered by the Sunset Tan Douches then shit these 2 out.

Their friends never thought they would last when they showed up to da club wearing the exact same outfit one time too many (he's got her in the scrote choke b/c he has the exact same shirt on under his sweet ass Affliction Hoodie.

She's 5 foot tall, 5 foot wide and her vagina stinks.

After closer investigation, it must be douche bag night at Carlos n Charlie's. Look at the surroundings...Napoleon Dynamite boots, 'Bag Hardy hoodie, 1920's paperboy hat, etc.

That's all I got.
 

Between the two thats twenty bucks worth of fashion. If there is a hott in this picture, she must be in the background.
 

FERENGI!!! That was one of the funniest things i've read EVER!
 

For the love of the sweet baby Jesus, what the hell kind of fashion is that? And the pouty cocked head look? He's the douchebag of the week, and he needs an ass kicking.
 

This is some kind of douche scrote gathering!! Look at the guy behind him..... Good call on the dick-nose!!! LOL. Just another douchebag wearing his dick on his face. He tries to take the attention away from his dick nose but wearing a clown outfit. lol
 

You all are haterrsss.. Please..

First of all he's from BROOKLYN not JERSEY..

Second of all you don't know either one of uss so fuckk off..

Just bc you can't afford to look as good as us, don't hateee.. Your just jealous!

Maybe if all of you had a life and a job other than sitting on the internet talking shit about ppl and hating on the lavish lives we live you'd be able to "be a douchebagg with a hottie" too.. lmaooo


Bc everyone of your assumptions you've made about us are absolutely WRONGGG and not truee so keep talkingg shit YOUR MAKING ME FAMOUS! :)