Thursday, April 17, 2008
Raising Hairizona
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...and a nasty scrote stain at the pit. Good God, grandpa douche, your choad-hawk is trying to escape, and your body language asks "are we ready to go out in public, or what?" to which I respond Yes, ball-huffer, you most certainly are.
# posted by 
: 7:18 AM
: 7:18 AM
The Lone Biker of the Apocalypse would snack on this douche, then fart him out. Them's 1952 dollars.
AV
AV
# posted by : 7:18 AM
: 7:18 AM
This dude was obviously goofing around and asked someone to take a picture while his irritated girlfriend stood there waiting for him to stop playing with himself and get ready to go out for dinner. This is the same type of douchebag who still makes shampoo horns in the tub at age 43. And his girlfriend? She's already sleeping with that tall guy from accounting who just moved here from Arizona - she just didn't want to break up right before Christmas.
Blinded by the Douche
Blinded by the Douche
# posted by : 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
Can we caption this pic?
"Name's Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny... only I ain't got no friends."
"Name's Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny... only I ain't got no friends."
Tell me this is some backstage fashion shoot or something because that place looks like a dump. clothes and Charlie Brown boots everywhere.
# posted by : 7:27 AM
: 7:27 AM
Father Christmas Douche! He knows if you've been a douche. He knows if you've been a scrote. Somehow, beyond all human comprehension, he can manage to still find some half decent scank to hang on his arm. I think I had the makings of a new carol there, but may need some work on the ending.
# posted by : 7:34 AM
: 7:34 AM
This is one of those guys who doesn't necessarily need his ass kicked. I think he just needs a pile of fresh poo slingshotted in his general direction. Hopefully that would help change the stupid look on his face.
You ever feel like there's a big weight comin' down on you?
Yeah, I told her to lose weight but she don't want to listen.
I'm talkin' 'bout wife swapin' boy, what're you talkin' 'bout?
AV
Yeah, I told her to lose weight but she don't want to listen.
I'm talkin' 'bout wife swapin' boy, what're you talkin' 'bout?
AV
# posted by : 7:51 AM
: 7:51 AM
Check me kids...I'm so with it.
The janitor at the Alhambra Dinner Theatre gets his picture taken with one of the cast from Scortlahoma.
Now get back to cleaning the turd vaults Lester.
The janitor at the Alhambra Dinner Theatre gets his picture taken with one of the cast from Scortlahoma.
Now get back to cleaning the turd vaults Lester.
# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM
Um... I thought this was HOT chicks with douchebags... She doesn't even manage luke warm. If DB1 is being forced to redefine the site as "Not Entirely Unattractive Chicks with Douchebags", then perhaps we are not doing our jobs. Time to scour the internet for submissions!
# posted by : 8:04 AM
: 8:04 AM
Ugh.. His body language is asking "What..is there anything disturbing about my appearance?"
# posted by : 8:12 AM
: 8:12 AM
Pure HCwDB. Respect.
Most weeks he rates as a winner.
Over/Under: 3 minutes... after his Visa is maxed before she finds a new Douche.
Most weeks he rates as a winner.
Over/Under: 3 minutes... after his Visa is maxed before she finds a new Douche.
I think round is funny.
@8:04. This chick is a hott, which does not necessarily imply pretty. It's all in the packaging. Amy Tags is pretty, but not a hott.
Plus, some guys just really like that skeletal skinny crap.
@8:04. This chick is a hott, which does not necessarily imply pretty. It's all in the packaging. Amy Tags is pretty, but not a hott.
Plus, some guys just really like that skeletal skinny crap.
Yes, hot implies the whole package. When the face of the package looks like its been beaten by Cro 'Bagnon wielding the ugly stick, i would say that disqualifies her for hot. She's definitely a brown bagger.
Whitebread
Whitebread
# posted by : 8:41 AM
: 8:41 AM
i dunno, whitebread. i'm not so sure i agree with you there. i'd say your standards are set so high, no woman has ever seen your penis.
my gut says that this picture doesn't do this girl's face justice.
and my gut has never failed at getting me laid.
my gut says that this picture doesn't do this girl's face justice.
and my gut has never failed at getting me laid.
Ferret? I was thinkin' this was a Meerkat on top of Hartland Williams' dad's head, but perhaps I was overly distracted by Kate Bosworth Hott's extremely lickable navel region.
--Lord Douchinclam III
--Lord Douchinclam III
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
"Kids, me 'n' maw are goin' out line dancin' at the Grange Hall -- don't wait up!"
# posted by : 8:55 AM
: 8:55 AM
i was gonna say she's got daddy issues, but i feel that wouldn't entirely be correct.
i think he's got daddy issues...
i think he's got daddy issues...
"and my gut has never failed at getting me laid."
Lemme guess... You just bang bitches and drink?
Lemme guess... You just bang bitches and drink?
# posted by : 9:12 AM
: 9:12 AM
i don't think this douche is trying in anyway to be ironic or funny with the hair. the sides are cut close and the top left long.
also note the excessive wrist bling, chin pubes and cell phone in the tiny 5th pocket of the jeans. all of this could not be posed.....
anyone who thinks she's not hot should have their sense of judgement immediately corrected via hockey stick to the cranium
also note the excessive wrist bling, chin pubes and cell phone in the tiny 5th pocket of the jeans. all of this could not be posed.....
anyone who thinks she's not hot should have their sense of judgement immediately corrected via hockey stick to the cranium
@anon9:12....nope. i'm happily married so i get laid a lot. and i have a slight beer gut. therefore, my gut has never failed to get me laid.
are we clear now?
are we clear now?
Crystal.
(Giggling at Pfah's inner douchebag that thinks he needs to posture on an internet forum to defend his manhood.)
(Giggling at Pfah's inner douchebag that thinks he needs to posture on an internet forum to defend his manhood.)
# posted by : 9:26 AM
: 9:26 AM
anon@7:26
"And his girlfriend? She's already sleeping with that tall guy from accounting who just moved here from Arizona - she just didn't want to break up right before Christmas."
Very well said. If I had a dollar...
"And his girlfriend? She's already sleeping with that tall guy from accounting who just moved here from Arizona - she just didn't want to break up right before Christmas."
Very well said. If I had a dollar...
In any case, I concede the point to all of you, given you're all in agreement that she's hot. Apparently crows with purple lips and no fashion sense are the "in" thing.
# posted by : 9:28 AM
: 9:28 AM
She is totally spankin hott well maybe not spakin your hand would get sore from hittin bone.
But I would totally bust a nutt on her hott boney ass.
But I would totally bust a nutt on her hott boney ass.
I bet the hair on his back comes to a point too. And what the hell is on his wrist? Aluminum foil?
# posted by : 9:38 AM
: 9:38 AM
Daddy Bag just moved his daughter into her new apartment, flowery gum-boots and all, and now they are stepping out for pie.
He's still making mach 3 on the 'Bag scale, but why is her bra around her her navel? Oh, NM.
He's still making mach 3 on the 'Bag scale, but why is her bra around her her navel? Oh, NM.
# posted by : 9:56 AM
: 9:56 AM
Elen Barkin? I was thinking more Uma Thurman after a horrible accident requiring reconstructive surgery... Which was apparently botched.
# posted by : 10:00 AM
: 10:00 AM
"The Gay Shark'bag"
And only a douche would act like she is not a hott. Which is a. why they are douches and b. why these hotts turn up with them so much
And only a douche would act like she is not a hott. Which is a. why they are douches and b. why these hotts turn up with them so much
# posted by : 10:29 AM
: 10:29 AM
Seriously, take a good look at that guy for a moment and you'll realize that he's really not a douche.
Actually, he's 1) Irish 2) probably drunk and 3) that's his sister hustling him for crack $$.
Actually, he's 1) Irish 2) probably drunk and 3) that's his sister hustling him for crack $$.
# posted by : 11:52 AM
: 11:52 AM
Anon 11:52 -- the guy looks like a flamming model hairdresser. Turn you gaydar back on and increase the wattage.
# posted by : 12:03 PM
: 12:03 PM
omg rhiannon don't even think of douching up my step dad he's so gross...i will so make your job at express a living hell if you do
# posted by : 1:07 PM
: 1:07 PM
I'll bet this guy spanks it upside down so he can give himself the money shot.
# posted by : 1:23 PM
: 1:23 PM
I thought Charlie Sheen was off drugs, but I was wrong. His daughter's cute, but if I were him I wouldn't let her out wearing that.
# posted by : 2:22 PM
: 2:22 PM
Sugar Daddy 'Bag and the Coke Whore: the trailer trash version of Hulk Douchogan pimping out his daughter via the flexing of the "pythons."
I'd bespoil the lovely flatness of Hotte's stomach with several ounces of man sauce.
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# posted by : 8:32 PM
: 8:32 PM << Home
