Sunday, April 27, 2008
Vegas, Baby
There's gonna be a party in Vegas.
Oh yes. There will be party: Saturday, July 19th.
Why, you ask? To celebrate the release of my book, coincidentally titled Hot Chicks with Douchebags and scheduled to officially be released on July 8th from Simon & Schuster.
If you've enjoyed the site as either an occasional or longtime 'bag hunter, now's your time to pony on up and buy a book. And if you're the truly intrepid HCwDB fan, fly your ass to Vegas and celebrate with The DB1 in person. Buy me a cheap drink and I'll sign your book.
Yeah, you. Join me. To celebrate, we will party.
There will be hotts. There will be douches to mock. There will be a one legged firespitter named Ned. Yes, your humble narrator in all things boobie/scrotey will be there, drunk off my ass and drooling on the cocktail waitress's boobs while I pretend to care as she tells me about how much she hates her daddy.
Details of the day of celebration, libation and scatological procreation are still being worked out, but if you're interested in joining me to celebrate, drop me an email to get more information.
And if you live in Vegas and know how to promote a party (and I know you guys are readers), drop me a line ASAP and help me figure out how to make this circus happen. Only two rules: No annoying pedestaled DJs. And no Goose Running.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 9:29 AM 
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Looks like they're anticipating the stampede of douchebaggery, DB1!
http://www.vegas.com/douchebag
http://www.vegas.com/douchebag
# posted by 
: 11:47 AM
: 11:47 AM
I don't know if you want to advertise where and when you'll be available for every douchebag in Christendom to get their revenge on you, DB1. As Indiana Jones' father remarked upon attending the Nazi book-burning, "We're pilgrims in an unholy land." May Pumpy's deceased spirit be your guardian angel.
YO DB! That's great news! I'm already thinking about what I'll wear to the party. Why not have everybody dress like douchebags, bad tans and all.
I checked out www.vegas.com/douchebag
Apparently, this guy is the Jeff Foxworthy of Douchebags - Proud and loud. His MySpace page states, "you might be a douchebag if..." He actually means it in a positive way.
To my further despair, I noticed a link to King Douchuous' My Space page. After reviewing the King's page I now know that only a cultural revolution will save us.
Ahhhh F that, revolution's are too much work. I'm givin' the dog to the neighbors and moving to Siberia.
I will live with the local Asiatic tribe, participate in cultural soul cleansing rituals, eat grilled Reindeer meat and drink from the pure waters of Lake Baikal. I might even befriend a Siberian Tiger who I will call "Steve".
This is all too stressful for a hungover Sunday afternoon.
I checked out www.vegas.com/douchebag
Apparently, this guy is the Jeff Foxworthy of Douchebags - Proud and loud. His MySpace page states, "you might be a douchebag if..." He actually means it in a positive way.
To my further despair, I noticed a link to King Douchuous' My Space page. After reviewing the King's page I now know that only a cultural revolution will save us.
Ahhhh F that, revolution's are too much work. I'm givin' the dog to the neighbors and moving to Siberia.
I will live with the local Asiatic tribe, participate in cultural soul cleansing rituals, eat grilled Reindeer meat and drink from the pure waters of Lake Baikal. I might even befriend a Siberian Tiger who I will call "Steve".
This is all too stressful for a hungover Sunday afternoon.
# posted by : 12:33 PM
: 12:33 PM
I was going to offer to DJ your bash, but I'm not that good on the decks once I get drunk.
And I refuse to dj without a pedestal.
And I refuse to dj without a pedestal.
# posted by : 3:19 PM
: 3:19 PM
I would show up but Im pretty sure a picture of me with some random Vegas hott would get me on this site for all the redicule and mock.
# posted by : 3:29 PM
: 3:29 PM
somebody call the Gator and see if he'll fly his private jet to the states for the occasion. will John Mayer perform, or do you have Fish Slap at the wheels of steel?
# posted by : 9:16 PM
: 9:16 PM
Hell yes.
DB1 - Whatever the cost (because, hey, it's not MY money) King D must be there. Seriously.
If only because Gator won't. And Pumpy can't. Peaches might, but he could put an eye out.
I'm actually in your neck o' the woods tonite, DB1; I'm working on a project with a famous local architect of yours named Frank for a project we're doing (re-doing, actually; thanks, Katrina) back home on the beach. An associate of mine who just got licensed and I went to a restaurant called Patina located in one of his buildings here in L.A. tonight to celebrate and ran up a hellacious tab. Damn, you better sell some books; it cost big $$$ to eat in this town. No wonder you live off of Night Train and Ho-Ho's.
DB1 - Whatever the cost (because, hey, it's not MY money) King D must be there. Seriously.
If only because Gator won't. And Pumpy can't. Peaches might, but he could put an eye out.
I'm actually in your neck o' the woods tonite, DB1; I'm working on a project with a famous local architect of yours named Frank for a project we're doing (re-doing, actually; thanks, Katrina) back home on the beach. An associate of mine who just got licensed and I went to a restaurant called Patina located in one of his buildings here in L.A. tonight to celebrate and ran up a hellacious tab. Damn, you better sell some books; it cost big $$$ to eat in this town. No wonder you live off of Night Train and Ho-Ho's.
vegas is either for the young and wild or the old who look at the young and wild and say fuck it they aint getting my money when i die
# posted by : 10:00 PM
: 10:00 PM
I would just like to say that next time someone comes on here posting anonymously about how everyone here "lives in their mother's basement" and has "no life", we are hereby required to have Darksock drop the name of Mr. Gehry. The fact that someone as prolific and witty as Mr. Sock gets to work on projects with Mr. Gehry ensures me that I'm not wasting my life on here, I'm amongst geniuses. Between Sock and Pfah's awesome graphics, suddenly my Masters degree doesn't mean shit.
Anyways, Vegas, good times. Just wanted to give props to some of the folks on here.
Anyways, Vegas, good times. Just wanted to give props to some of the folks on here.
Are you mad??? If we're all together in Vegas, the Real Cinncy Players will know where to find us!!!
DB1,
Just don't let the book go to your head. Bad New Hughes had a great blog, then wrote a book. Subsequently, his postings online dried up (and what he did post was only signing dates and exhortations to buy his book), and after a while he began to hate his fans so he closed up shop...He thought he was bigger than his fan base. A case study in getting a fat head.
It's all good that you go for the cash with what you got, just don't become a hater to those of us that show up daily for a freebie.
Just don't let the book go to your head. Bad New Hughes had a great blog, then wrote a book. Subsequently, his postings online dried up (and what he did post was only signing dates and exhortations to buy his book), and after a while he began to hate his fans so he closed up shop...He thought he was bigger than his fan base. A case study in getting a fat head.
It's all good that you go for the cash with what you got, just don't become a hater to those of us that show up daily for a freebie.
# posted by : 3:57 AM
: 3:57 AM
I wish I could be there, but Ill mail you guys a spear gun. Bag me a six pointer.
# posted by : 5:22 AM
: 5:22 AM
Would love to be there, but Unca Sam wore my ass out this year on tax day. Y'all have a good time for me. DB1, you should put together a slideshow and have some mid-year douchie awards.
Pumpy passed away almost a year ago (right DB1?) in Vegas. we inducted him into the Hall of Scrote, and then got news of his passing. he knew about his picture up on this site and was cool enough to let it remain. Pumpy was a good man. he's since become an icon around here and something of a hero.
@douche quixote....your kind words are much appreciated. but trust me, your master's degree draws more water than my photoshop skillz. like that? i added a 'Z' at the end instead of an 'S'. makes me appear more hip that way.
Mmmmmmm. Vegas. Douche Central. Hott Haven. Enjoy. I'm saving up for Merry Ol' England in Aug, so no can go. However, one word of warning. Many of our trophies on this site seem to be from Vegas. Douches are possessed of small minds and memories, but are exceptionally petty and unreasonable. They will not pass an opportunity to exact revenge upon you if the notion passes across their defective lobes. So beware. Be safe. Make friends with Casino security.
Uncle Phinn
Uncle Phinn
Well, DB1, at least now that folks have been pre-ordering your book, the Amazon bot has now seen fit to include Lenny Bruce, Don Rickles, and Tucker Max offerings instead of John Wayne Gacy and other mass murderers books. Way to move on up in the world.
Vegas is out of my realm with a wife and kid and the beach and New England in the fall. But you'll get there eventually.
Thanks for the invite.
Vegas is out of my realm with a wife and kid and the beach and New England in the fall. But you'll get there eventually.
Thanks for the invite.
# posted by : 10:12 AM
: 10:12 AM
am deeply saddened that i will not be in attendance for this. best of luck to you, db1. will definitely buy the book.
# posted by : 11:59 AM
: 11:59 AM
Dude, whomever mentioned King D's myspace page should get teabagged by the Gaytor. To see him posed up with my favorite group of all time (Outkast) killed me dead.
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
Damn, I was just in Vegas last week.
Ground Zero for all sorts of Vegas Douchebaggery is definitely the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, which is chock full of Slash wanna-bes and the the Bleeths who adore them.
Best of luck with the party, I'll stop by Barnes & Noble on release day.
Ground Zero for all sorts of Vegas Douchebaggery is definitely the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, which is chock full of Slash wanna-bes and the the Bleeths who adore them.
Best of luck with the party, I'll stop by Barnes & Noble on release day.
Oh, and I just remembered, I saw an incredible douche at the Rub BBQ (excellent beef brisket, btw) at the Rio. He was dressed in all white - jacket, pants, belt, shirt and shoes. Greasy, spikey hair. Gold bling. Wish I'd had my camera with me.
@ Douche Quixote -
Thanks for the kind words, but I was actually meeting with Frank Gershenheimer, architect of the prototypical Waffle House. We're going to be doing a new waffle house a couple of blocks off of the beach; we're stoked.
Thanks for the kind words, but I was actually meeting with Frank Gershenheimer, architect of the prototypical Waffle House. We're going to be doing a new waffle house a couple of blocks off of the beach; we're stoked.
I just got an email from Becca and she's seriously considering attending this brouhaha.
Show of hands: who just crapped themselves?
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