Friday, April 18, 2008
Where's Waldouche?
Somewhere in this pic of a sno-cone cupcake candy corn melted twix bar of almond joy, I've carefully hidden a...
Oh who cares about that Waldouche.
I love you, blonde eros of blank stare and vague sense of confusion. I would tie crickets to a paper airplane and toss it over Macho Grande just for the chance to jump after it without a parachute and plummet to my likely death while pausing in mid-air to breathe a whiff of your perfume drifting on the breeze.
I would compose sonnets of free verse in Farsi if it meant I could Salman your Rushdies for a fortnight while fighting off Fezzik by sword, left-handed, near the pit of despair.
You are my snowflake, no one could ever stain. Come to me. Nuzzle me. Then yell at me when I inquire, innocently, if your best friend Shelly might just happen to be bi.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 9:09 AM 
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God in heaven, I would crawl over five miles of carpet tacks and shower in gasoline just for the 1 in 5 chance to hear her fart over the phone. The two-tone hair also increases the chance that she's a drrrrrty girl. Or at least that's what Mom used to say.
"who cares about that Waldouche": I couldn't agree more. The only thing I currently care about is that fabulous, tanned, sideinnerboob on that Hott-ass blonde. Wow. She just made my day.
DB1, I doubt that there is a real douche here. These kind of hotts go for the rich guys. She is driving her boyfriends mercedes, not hangings with scrotes with spiky hair. If I thought I was wrong, I would be waiting for the nailpolish to dry before I went out to buy more axe.
You wont see her partying at the Rio. She's a Bellagio Baby.
You wont see her partying at the Rio. She's a Bellagio Baby.
# posted by 
: 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
I can't stop wondering about her panty lines...
If her pillows were full of feathers instead of foam rubber, she would be the perfect thing to sleep on.
If her pillows were full of feathers instead of foam rubber, she would be the perfect thing to sleep on.
# posted by : 8:56 AM
: 8:56 AM
She is glorious in her understated sexuality and two-maybe three-toned hair. mr. white, I would fight you in the grappling style for the chance to hide two stalls away and listen to her tinkle.
I would canoe to Indonesia just for the chance to meet the sweat shop worker who made the bra that blondie decided to leave in her closet.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
In the immortal words of Plato or somebody, Jesus freaking christ she is so hot it makes me happy to be a man or a lesbian. Xenu should be congratulated for this fine work of art. Thank Xenu that she wasn't actually attached to the mongoloid, there is a god! And now if you will excuse me I have some unattended business in the bathroom.
Holy hand of fatimah
This is proof that, like womens faces, we must unveil more of their boobies.
Peace
Turned up nose - check
colored hair - check
honey skin - check
baby feeders - check
I'm ready...
Waldouche has the blue lagoon douche with him is that the same one as before?
This is proof that, like womens faces, we must unveil more of their boobies.
Peace
Turned up nose - check
colored hair - check
honey skin - check
baby feeders - check
I'm ready...
Waldouche has the blue lagoon douche with him is that the same one as before?
since the pope's in town, we should have him induct her surgeon into saintood immediately.....
...and fuck waldouche. that's what priests do, right?
...and fuck waldouche. that's what priests do, right?
@ douchetorious B.A.G.
Oh no! Deathtongue's Hott just walked in on them. She can't believe they didn't call her first...
(head explodes like guy from Scanners)
Oh no! Deathtongue's Hott just walked in on them. She can't believe they didn't call her first...
(head explodes like guy from Scanners)
fuck you blogger and your propensity for accepting a double click as the intent to double post.
that is all.
that is all.
# posted by : 9:49 AM
: 9:49 AM
"What hit my back?" asks smokin' hott.
"My man load" says I.
If this is your cousin ANONY 9:48, then I want to fuck your cousin.
"My man load" says I.
If this is your cousin ANONY 9:48, then I want to fuck your cousin.
Oh my God she is nice. Perhaps the Hottest of the Hotties to ever be seen on this site, definitely Top-5 material. Has there ever been a better looking side-boob shot? Please post more pics of her and let us decide if there are DB's in the pic.
# posted by : 10:04 AM
: 10:04 AM
I've never been so jealous of anyone's undergarments in all my life.
If a HoH (Hall of Hautt) ever goes up, she gets my vote for the first entry. I wish that I could tell people in ten years that this is the self-absorbed bitch that cheated on me, took the kids and the house and ruined my life.
What was I supposed to be looking for in this pic? Joey P, Donkey, Peaches and the King could be washing a car a la Zoolander front and center here and I don't think I'd notice anything other than her face and perfect sideboob.
If a HoH (Hall of Hautt) ever goes up, she gets my vote for the first entry. I wish that I could tell people in ten years that this is the self-absorbed bitch that cheated on me, took the kids and the house and ruined my life.
What was I supposed to be looking for in this pic? Joey P, Donkey, Peaches and the King could be washing a car a la Zoolander front and center here and I don't think I'd notice anything other than her face and perfect sideboob.
I actually know who owns this picture and the story behind it. I'm just glad my friend isn't in the picture. My friend is a cool guy, like me however, I am an admitted 'bag (he isn't a 'bag) and I am scared to death that my pics might end up here one day. LOL!
Just for everyone's reading pleasure these girls are Swedes and this was taken in a club in Europe. And yes, she was my friends summer fling. Guy's got game, sigh.
Just for everyone's reading pleasure these girls are Swedes and this was taken in a club in Europe. And yes, she was my friends summer fling. Guy's got game, sigh.
DB1, tell me you have more pics of this girl. For the love of every girl-next-door we've fantasized about, tell me you have more.
mr. white, I would happily let anon berate and belittle me for a 1 in 8 chance of making awkward, unsatifying love to her urologist.
mr. white, I would happily let anon berate and belittle me for a 1 in 8 chance of making awkward, unsatifying love to her urologist.
I would bleach my skin and join the Aryan Brotherhood just so she has the opportunity to mace me. Christ she's hot
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
Ed, I doubt he does... Unless "Leader of the 'Bag" can help us out by getting his friend to send in more.
I happened to run across this one on the internets and submitted to DB1 just yesterday. The thought process went like this... OMG she's hot... Wait, wait! There's a douchebag in this picture!!! Off to DB1 immediately!
You're all welcome. *grin*
I happened to run across this one on the internets and submitted to DB1 just yesterday. The thought process went like this... OMG she's hot... Wait, wait! There's a douchebag in this picture!!! Off to DB1 immediately!
You're all welcome. *grin*
# posted by : 10:45 AM
: 10:45 AM
@Burnsy,
If all three of them (this hott, Yak's hott and Death Tongue's hott) all formed one make one hott daisy chain, the world as we know it would come to an end. But then again, there would be some King Douchuous or Bitches and Drinks to ruin it.
I'd pay good money to see her hand wash her delicates. And by delicates I mean boobs.
If all three of them (this hott, Yak's hott and Death Tongue's hott) all formed one make one hott daisy chain, the world as we know it would come to an end. But then again, there would be some King Douchuous or Bitches and Drinks to ruin it.
I'd pay good money to see her hand wash her delicates. And by delicates I mean boobs.
# posted by : 10:52 AM
: 10:52 AM
Bless you anon. You'll understand if I try not to think of you later tonight when I'm thinking of her.
DB1 - I'm almost ashamed at the J Giles reference. Part because I laughed, and part because I'm old enough to get it.
# posted by : 10:57 AM
: 10:57 AM
A bit of a stretch since I don't really see any obvious signs of douchosity anywhere in this picture.
But I just don't care. I can't stop staring.
But I just don't care. I can't stop staring.
early side boob OTY nomination? maybe hottest hott as well? i don't know, but i likey! Tommy want wingy!
# posted by : 11:47 AM
: 11:47 AM
Swedish? It figures.
She is too perfect. There must be something seriously wrong with her in some other area. Only way I can live knowing I will never have the pleasure of tongueing her delicately cleft chin.
And DB1, this is not the first time you have made reference to my beloved Islamic Republic of Iran. Looking at your picture and seeing you live in LA, I wonder if you are not Persian yourself.
If yes, then it is time to renew your passport and do your military service.
If not, then... well, er... nothing.
She is too perfect. There must be something seriously wrong with her in some other area. Only way I can live knowing I will never have the pleasure of tongueing her delicately cleft chin.
And DB1, this is not the first time you have made reference to my beloved Islamic Republic of Iran. Looking at your picture and seeing you live in LA, I wonder if you are not Persian yourself.
If yes, then it is time to renew your passport and do your military service.
If not, then... well, er... nothing.
# posted by : 11:58 AM
: 11:58 AM
i've got more of a hankering to give her a wadsworth of my longfellow...it would be trancendental
# posted by : 12:04 PM
: 12:04 PM
i went snowboarding in the Italian Alps about 5 years ago. there was a busload of Swedes that unloaded as we were buying our lift tickets. my buddy and i were stopped dead in our tracks by the gorgeous women that kept piling out of the bus. so much to the point that we got yelled at because the line had moved on without us. it's ridiculous how pretty most of the girls from there are. later, while trying to adjust my bindings, i broke my nose with my boner.
true story.
true story.
Sorry Anon 10:45AM. I can only point you to my friends site from whoever got the pic from.
Most of the other pics are in his camera and it's not the PG kind.
Most of the other pics are in his camera and it's not the PG kind.
What? No skanky French tips? Natural and sexy red nail polish and not smelly tips? She could J.O. me anytime!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Marcos Douchebagdatis
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Marcos Douchebagdatis
# posted by : 1:34 PM
: 1:34 PM
Mighty mighty damn, I would eat the shit of the dog that pissed on the tires of the laundry truck that takes her panties to the dry cleaners.
I know I've seen her pic before. Where? Dammit. Either old age or the boob taser has scrambled my brain
I'm at a loss for words.
Stunning.
Just... damn.
And DB1, this is one of your best commentaries thus far this year, IMHO.
Stunning.
Just... damn.
And DB1, this is one of your best commentaries thus far this year, IMHO.
She looks like a middle-school gf of mine all growed up. Damn, I should check up on her...
Is it considered gauche to rub one out at work, and if not, how far can one take it? I mean, can I do it right at my desk, if no one's in the immediate vicinity? Or is that pushing it too much? Should it be confined to just the bathroom?
Is it considered gauche to rub one out at work, and if not, how far can one take it? I mean, can I do it right at my desk, if no one's in the immediate vicinity? Or is that pushing it too much? Should it be confined to just the bathroom?
i would give this hott my mothers retirement fund, cash out her 401k, give up every material possession i have ever owned, and be disowned by my own family just for the chance to run my tounge from the top of her buttcrack around to her belly button (with a stop at her dirt star) and get gang raped in prison...im so serial about this too
the bakeshow
the bakeshow
# posted by : 9:08 PM
: 9:08 PM
i would be the happiest man alive if she would just fart in my mouth...i would give my sex life up for the rest of my life just to have 30 second sex (all i could last with her) with her poopchute
the bakeshow
the bakeshow
# posted by : 9:12 PM
: 9:12 PM
sweet jesus if i knew that one angel in heaven even appreached her level of hot i would repent right now and become a man of god! but since i dont im just going to dry hump my teddy ruxpin doll and masterbate all night to her picture
the bakeshow
the bakeshow
# posted by : 9:19 PM
: 9:19 PM
If it's true. If these hotts go only for the rich choads in nice cars, then where is the line that I may sign, allowing my soul to fend for itself in the fire that burns but does not consume, forsaking my body entirely as it chooses to live a life of utter boredom, and all for the chance to gently touch the tanned inner boobie, to glimps "the little apples of paradise". The guru forsakes the student entirely... The price, a triple kiss and a touch of her oh so clean blonde hair.
Cheap beer and sufi parody to soothe another week's sand grains slipping past.
Cheap beer and sufi parody to soothe another week's sand grains slipping past.
# posted by : 9:45 PM
: 9:45 PM
I would watch a marathon of Robin Williams standup for the chance to wash her panties after a week long safari in Africa with no bathing privileges.
# posted by : 11:00 PM
: 11:00 PM
I'm pretty sure thats Nick Carter in the background looking for someone to hook a brotha up with some yea.
# posted by : 11:07 PM
: 11:07 PM
I absolutely love the Princess Bride reference.
and YES i would trust a Sicilian just to get a one in 16 chance to talk to her Bf Shelly's ex girlfriend's hairdresser.
and YES i would trust a Sicilian just to get a one in 16 chance to talk to her Bf Shelly's ex girlfriend's hairdresser.
# posted by : 1:13 AM
: 1:13 AM
a week long safari in Africa with no bathing privileges is cake. i did 3 weeks. if your looking to score with a chick like this, go balls deep. two weeks in Antarctica with nothing but a wet towel and freezer pops. your only chance of achieving warmth would be to sit in an old hospital dumpster with Rosie O'Donnell and shave her man parts with your teeth. Then my son, you'd have deserved a curvaceous piece of Sweden.
Unless there's an extremely small pic of Pancake cleverly hidden somewhere in the hair or clothing patterns, like the old 'can you find?' drawings, I detect no douche.
But who cares......
Sideboob.
The room is awash in supermegahottness.
If she called to me while sitting in 2 inches of scuzzmuck residue at the bottom of a seafood restaurant dumpster complete with mullet intestines in mid-July, there would be lots and lots of dents that looked eerily like my pecker in the side of that dumpster until I finally broke through.
Later, I'd chalk it up to dick-shaped hail damage if anyone were to ask. Sideways-falling, penis-shaped hail. Yeah. That's the ticket.
But who cares......
Sideboob.
The room is awash in supermegahottness.
If she called to me while sitting in 2 inches of scuzzmuck residue at the bottom of a seafood restaurant dumpster complete with mullet intestines in mid-July, there would be lots and lots of dents that looked eerily like my pecker in the side of that dumpster until I finally broke through.
Later, I'd chalk it up to dick-shaped hail damage if anyone were to ask. Sideways-falling, penis-shaped hail. Yeah. That's the ticket.
# posted by : 6:11 PM
: 6:11 PM
When I saw this photo, I thought, "Ah, side boob." Thank you, DB1, for teaching me the vocabulary and the philosophy of 'baggery. And thank you for letting me know that there are others out there like me who believe that a nose as perfect as hers can only be intended to nestle firmly in my nether eye, and that a cleft chin like hers can only be a custom nutrack designed just for me by the creator of all that is.
# posted by : 3:55 PM
: 3:55 PM
A chick like that is undoubtedly very high maintenance. You only see women who look like that with two types of guys: Aristotle Onassis/Jabba The Hut billionaires, or complete dirtball scuzz drug dealers. When you look like that, any guy within 89 degrees of normal is boring.
# posted by : 7:06 AM
: 7:06 AM
I'm more impressed with the post referencing Rushdie and Princess Bride. Thousands of chicks have great cans... Hardly any know why this post was classic.
In this case, I don't even think I would want to know or even care if her friend Shelly was bi. Why should I let Shelly share in the fun if I can have this hott all to myself!
Now if Shelly is as hot as her...well
Now if Shelly is as hot as her...well
Interestingly enough, I saw this exact picture in an article in a recent Thai version of Maxim magazine... what is the story behind this girl? "leader of the bag" says swede in Europe, myspace says bi in Miami - whoever she is, she deserves an expertly-lighted 6-page high gloss spread for our viewing pleasure
# posted by : 2:12 PM
: 2:12 PM
The photo is from a club in Stockholm called Sthlmvip (sthlmvip.com). There's an interesting comparison between it and a club in Newcastle, England. She is beyond hot.
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# posted by : 3:04 PM
: 3:04 PM << Home
