Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Xenu II: Electric Douchaloo
Is that?... Could it be?... the legendary insta-Hall-of-Scrote legend that is Xenu? I'd recognize that chest tat pentagram anywhere. My grandmother used to have the exact same one.
What's great isn't just the cluster of tatts, but that, in both pictures, Xenu keeps shirt unbuttoned to display them at all times.
Like the Brazilian Tree Frog's colorful pouch, displayed only during mating season, whom are we to judge the unique mating rituals of the Xenu?
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 11:54 AM 
Comments:
She's brilliantly hot...
he must have that Robert Smith appeal that usually doesnt work but when it does it works big....go Xenu.
I'll tear your fucking head off if i ever meet you.
Army of Douche-ness
he must have that Robert Smith appeal that usually doesnt work but when it does it works big....go Xenu.
I'll tear your fucking head off if i ever meet you.
Army of Douche-ness
# posted by 
: 11:56 AM
: 11:56 AM
Isn't he a little too gay to be a true douche? Couldn't Xenu just be posing with another satisfied customer from his suburban New Jersey hair and nail salon?
Or am I simply searching for a rational answer to the irrational?
Or am I simply searching for a rational answer to the irrational?
# posted by : 11:56 AM
: 11:56 AM
Sorry to be off-topic DB, but where in the fuck is the respect for the unholy beast that is Dog? You let him slip off the front page like he wasn't an immediate waive-the-rules HOFer. Sad.
If only that red was blood flowing out of his nasty greasy melon after being busted open by a jagged bottle of some toxic acid.
The bad ink on his disgusting torso says so much...I'm a douche.
Xenu you are dispised and I would gladly throw you off anything bigger then 10 stories.
The bad ink on his disgusting torso says so much...I'm a douche.
Xenu you are dispised and I would gladly throw you off anything bigger then 10 stories.
# posted by : 12:03 PM
: 12:03 PM
I see DB1 is still pissed from that Friday Haiku/bag/not bag thing from last week. We get it man, you were giving everyone a chance at stardom. And by stardom I mean mockery. The scrotes are still extra concentrated, and that's what we come to expect..
The.Hott.Is.Touching.It.
The.Hott.Is.Touching.It.
# posted by : 12:04 PM
: 12:04 PM
Pentagrams, Chinese characters, tribal barbed-wire. Xenu is a clip-art catalog of douche-stamps.
I would slurp her Sandra Oh's with whole milk and strawberries.
I would slurp her Sandra Oh's with whole milk and strawberries.
# posted by : 12:06 PM
: 12:06 PM
Does this fuck stick have barretts in his hair? The cubic zirc earrings are a nice touch with the hair screams....Flamer
Truly this is a large pile of noxious turds that this asian hottie is touching.
Run Sue Lee run
I belive he should be beaten with rusted hammers and then set on fire.
Truly this is a large pile of noxious turds that this asian hottie is touching.
Run Sue Lee run
I belive he should be beaten with rusted hammers and then set on fire.
# posted by : 12:09 PM
: 12:09 PM
It seems clear that something has greatly angered Lord Xenu, Perhaps the wave of white sunglasses and middle fingers does not please him. He demands a douche sacrifice to quench his thirst for axe and man-sweat.
Interesting fact: He is an unlockable character in Primal Rage
Interesting fact: He is an unlockable character in Primal Rage
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
Douche-nu needs to touch up the body ink. Especially the pentagram which would be a awesome target for a 40lb crossbow treble hook.
What a nasty disgusting pile of toxic human waste. Other then amusement this turd could not possibly have anything to offer the world.
What a nasty disgusting pile of toxic human waste. Other then amusement this turd could not possibly have anything to offer the world.
# posted by : 12:16 PM
: 12:16 PM
Maybe the pentagram keeps melting his shirt buttons or his tie if he puts it on right, like a perverted Ark of the Covenant, so he has to keep it open
# posted by : 12:18 PM
: 12:18 PM
xenu battled the cloverfield monster and won and banished it to earth where it lay dormant in our oceans until tom's cruises laughter awoke it and it proceeded to destroy the island of manhattan
If I squint I can imagine the dyed hair as instead being a geyser of gore and tissue left in the wake of the vicious arc of the Shovel o' Justice...
Xenu's left testicle can shoot laser beams from its hair follicles; it is sentinent and it's name is Donny.
xenu once ate entire box of legos and shit out a perfectly constructed eiffel tower. afterwards, from shame of shitting something so french and gay, he pissed fire and melted it into a kayak, and rowed all the way to fiji living off fish he caught with his teeth and seal blood
Xenu can produce a high pitched sound that calls any douchebag in a 12 mile radius and cause any normal listener to take of his shirt and put on a wifebeater
# posted by : 12:29 PM
: 12:29 PM
xenu once tried to play wii, but he couldnt stop crushing the controllers. than he tried dance dance revolution and, while unsuccessful at the game, the vibrations from his stomping knocked down the wall at gaza and ironically, started a palestinian revolution.
Note the dried blood in his forehead locks from banging his head on his Wire Spool Coffee table over the frustration of not being able to complete his exempt status form 1040EZ today.
Xenu can place the entire Study of History into his asshole and project the text onto a screen thru his mouth
# posted by : 12:36 PM
: 12:36 PM
The tattoo artist originally wrote, "At the end of the day, this is a very ugly boy." in Japanese on Xenu's chest. Xenu willed the kenji to reshape itself to say,"Xenu is god emperor of this hottie's dunes."
The leftover ink was sent to destroy said tattoo artist.
The leftover ink was sent to destroy said tattoo artist.
Xenu does not mind being called pussyface, as the hair on Xenu's face actually came from a woman's vagina.
xenu's dna contains every element from the periodical table with the exception of xenon, which his asshole emits instead of methane
Xenu was a freshman at Thomas Jefferson High. He graduated from Rock & Roll High School. But it was the SAME SCHOOL!!!
Xenu can speak telepathically but he only knows the phrase" Ill be the bottom"
# posted by : 12:48 PM
: 12:48 PM
Xenu shits marble and then compresses it into opals. This would be impossible for even Superman. But not for Xenu.
xenu's children only take 3 months to gestate and they are born with tribal tatts and steel toe boots
xenu was the final vote in approving the XM-Sirius merger and he voted with a high-pitched squeal and by pounding his fists 4 times
Xenu ran for president of the world and won but then called it a pussyjob and went back to club promoting.
We actually live on Xenu, North America is located on his abdomen and New jersey is the perianal region
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
xenu went to blockbuster and couldn't find the passion of the christ to rent. they then informed him it was in "drama" not "comedy"
xenu then set fire to the building.
xenu then set fire to the building.
xenu once "supermanned a ho" but misinterpreted the lyrics and actually flew her to the planet krypton. of course, her head exploded once they entered space. but xenu still hit it.
Xenu wants us to waste our time on these comments so he can secretly be impregnated by an elephant and give birth to a douche universe
# posted by : 1:02 PM
: 1:02 PM
Xenu's asshole is the portal to a bizarro world where a site called uglychickswithguyswhoareproductivemembersofsociety.com exists
# posted by : 1:11 PM
: 1:11 PM
You are all jerks and need to find other outlets for your "creativity" you Thetan SCUM. Try burning all copies of Dianetics.
Xenu Hath Spoken
Xenu Hath Spoken
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
xenu's chinese symbols roughly translate in english to "the one who eats children like candy corns."
xenu can only be killed by watching an entire episode of the hills, which he would never do, of course.
Xenu actually volunteers at an after school program for poor inner-city children where he ties a tire to his dick and laughs as the little ones swing to and fro while he tongue fucks their mothers.
Xenu has partcipated in a gangbang involving Jesus, Buddha, and the many incarnations of Vishnu
# posted by : 1:55 PM
: 1:55 PM