"Next on FOX: When the Homeless are Retards."

Does this schtick really score hotts?
 

But wait...


Why hello African American side boob....
 

In Jim Rome voice:
Great side boob.
 

This pic is one gust of wind to being jerk off material.

and no, I don't mean Jordy's hat blowing off...I mean the slinky dresses.

and DB1...almost a pass? did you miss the fingerless gloves.
How do you explain gloves at a bar.

"Hey Arkansas Dave, what's with the gloves."
"Oh shit, I was working the construction site and forgot to take them off.....thanks."
"Why are they fingerless and have skull fingers on the back."
"Oh, well, I lost my gloves and my kid is a drummer in a rock band, so I had to borrow his. I also do a lot of detail work and need my, uh, fingers free."

see, no real believable excuse
 

i smell west coast douche. phototog, record producer, trust funder, coke dealer...... and 100% douche...

hotts are gonna keep me up tonight painting the sheets......

the blonde and one in gray need to come to my compound for a religous awakening......
 

This is a costume party, right? Peep the pirate and hippy in the background.
 

Another Justin Timberdouche type. Damn, I love leggy chicks, though.
 

Seriously?! Mechanix fingerless gloves!? Seriously? The better to leave his paw prints all over the sterling silver coke tray.

Is the dude to douche's left, showing awesome inside side boob, or is that Balboa's elbow work?

Grey dress, I love you. Really. I would raise Rocky and your children as my own. By raise, I mean, I wouldn't pay their child support either.
 

side boob, panties who gives a shit about the douche. all I see is snapper.
 

Honestly, fuck that guy. This is infuriating me to new heights It makes me want to turn into some sort of giant monster and rain destruction upon all scrotes - Savy.
 

That's a nice lineup of delectible hotts.
 

Congrats to Bra!! And by congrats I mean Cancer.
 

Bra!! in the Hall. Yes. I'd like to see an all-out Bra!! vs. Fish Slap Douche-Off.
 

Geez, look at my nubian princess' boobies.
 

Uncle Clyde's hat: Check.
Dad's suit coat: Check.
Sister Misty's weightlifting gloves: Check.
1998 pair of faded black jeans: Check.
Heat transfer t-shirt from random mall store: Check.
Hi-Tec urban camo boots: Check.

Yup. I've dressed like a third-grader as a hobo.
 

The blonde hot reminds me of the popular girl in 16 Candles...the one who dates "Jake" and gets her hair cut off by her drunk friends at the party and ends up banging Anthony Michael Hall in somebody's dad's Rolls Royce.
 

The two girls in the upper right are hamming it up because they're excited about being on the internet for the first time when this photo inevitably made it to this website.
 

Who knew that the Rocky Marathon would be playing right next to the International House of Hotts?
 

HAPPY 85TH BIRTHDAY, BEA ARTHUR!

You HOT piece, you.

@pfah -- we expect pics from your party this time. I know you've invited some famous party monsters: Andy Griffith, Angela Lansbury, Bob Barker, Shirley Jones, Charo, Ben Stein, Kenny G., and Anne Murray.

I'm jellus.
 

god you guys are fuckin douchebags
 

@anon 4:34 -- No, we're not. Really!

We're jellus haterz who live in our mothers' basements and can't crush ass pretty much all day and would never get into the clubs and we're all fat loserz.

Nice of you to notice!
 

@anon 4:34

takes one to know one!
 

Not-a... just an unfortunate brim, jeans, shoes combo. Just some dumb fuck sitting in a pile of ass.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Please, let this be a costume party. His gloves are killing me and the sneaker's make him look really retarded. He isn't a douche. He's a hobo.
 

is 2nd from the left hot, or "gray dress" showing us some beave?
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEA!!!!

That old minx has still got it.

@Senor Squash: My parents just met Anne Murray at one of her shows up in Canada. Mom was all gushy and dad was slightly flustered. It was so cute.
 

Maybe the douche will be playin' a little hand ball later. Oh, did I just cast my vote? As for curley haired hott, I would climb under that dress like a trained circus seal.
 

Emmett Kelly's great-grandson pulls some tail!
 

Great googly moogly. This fucking retard has to have the biggest trust fund or the biggest bag of coke this side of Cartageña.
 

He's gotta have a giant bag of coke.

To match his giant bag of douche.

What a smorgasboard of hott, and by smorgasboard I mean I'd nibble on each of them a little at a time.

Except the black girl who's a butterface.

Fortunately I have a large supply of paper bags.
 

bra? sack-ra-lidge
 

Number one, I disagree with Bra's place in the HoS, it should really be reserved for the legends, not dudes that you would see by spending five minutes on any college campus.

That being said, there is quite the smörgåsbord of ladies here, and yet none of them are particularly beautiful, though I am digging the view of blue dress. As for homesnake, meh, I can't hate on the Tom Landry hat, and the blazer/jeans look was stupid when it started. However, it appears that he's spinning a cookie on his index finger, and that takes talent.

I'd also like to mention that the housekeeping at the party locale is atrocious. Looks like someone got sick all over the floor, or an all out flower fight took place. Judging by the hippies in the background, gotta go with a flower fight.
 

Placing Bra in the HOS was a foolish move. Bring back democracy! Let's have a referendum on Bra!
 

This scene feels very European to me. In which case, all bets are off on the douche-factor.

Hotts however, are hotts, no matter where they live.
 

yeah i don't think he should win the monthly, but those doc martens tucked into them jeans are straight stylin YO!
 

Pfah is out today on "assignment" covering the shindig that is the Bea Birthday Bash. We send him our best and leave a little something for him to remember us by when he comes back.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/05/13/happy-bea-day-the-10-best-bea-arthur-clips/

That ought to tide you over for a while.
 

All the guys in the back appear to be in costumes or some kind of "theme outfits" - I think the guy is wearing this outfit for laughs.

Then again, I could be wrong and they are all douches... we should firebomb the place immediately, just to be safe!
 

Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
 

nubian princess is smoking, what a body. i think her face is a little funky because of her hair, puff it up a bit, bamn, hot piece of ass. two youngins' on the right, wow, that is some sweet ass too, probably hasnt been corrupted yet. love to go anal on the far right hott in the pink.
 

This guy is the sound or lighting grip for the shoot. pass. And I hate passes.

Glad you put the photo in though, because grey dress is the hottest I've seen on the site. (Although that ass at the lake.....)
 

He appears to be a stage 3 mage. Note the crystal goblet he's quaffing from. Also, the "cookie" on his index finger is semi-transparent. It must be some residual from the spell of attract hott. In which case the gloves, hat, shoes, etc... must all be enchanted.

-Count Douchekevitch
 

No need for a vote, any douche innovating a dual bicep tatt move, appearing shirtless in six different locations while rubbing his crotch into sorority hotts and enjoying a plethora of cola beverages, deserves honoring.


LOL

gray dress is ok, but if i had to choose between all these girls, i'd be putting some mocha in my latte tonight. zing!
 

Blue dress is my first choice too.

As for Bra!, I would have waited to see if he won the monthly before HoSing him.
 

HOLY MOCHACHINO FRAT MAN!!!!
Holly Robinson hott's wispy dress is making me more than wispy.
She needs a warm summer breeze right now.
 

What's a Nubian?

And if this is a costume, who other than a douchebag would dress up as an 80s douchebag?