Thursday, May 08, 2008
Ask DB1
Arthur writes in with an important question:
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DB1-
I love your site!
Can a woman be a douchebag? I see many that seem to fit the definition here in the O.C.
-- Arthur
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This is an important question, Arthur, but the short answer is yes.
A female douchebag is referred to as a douchbaguette, or a Bleeth. The Bleething process, stages 1 through 4, measures how far gone a hottie boobie suckle thigh is, and whether or not they can still be saved, or are lost to douchery forever.
However you may experience what some refer to as the Douchal Paradox, in which you realize a girl is a huge douchebaguette, but you still desire to paw her upper thigh area like a lobotomized ferret.
This is normal. Do not be alarmed. Even the most experienced 'bag hunter suffers from this contradiction.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 10:41 AM 
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oooh, my, i don't know who is worse, the douchebaga, or the douchebaguettes???
btw, is that french?
btw, is that french?
# posted by 
: 10:46 AM
: 10:46 AM
I don't have that lobotomized ferret thing going here. These "chicks" are the ones that are too far gone. It would be cool if they made out with each other though.
I only wish to add to that splendid and clinical summation that "Lobotomized Ferret" is launching their summer tour in June. Show your support.
Did these boys do their hair with a panini grill?
That's a lot of ink for chicks, but soemthing tells me they're accustomed to being repeatedly penetrated with stiff fluid-spurting objects.
Did these boys do their hair with a panini grill?
That's a lot of ink for chicks, but soemthing tells me they're accustomed to being repeatedly penetrated with stiff fluid-spurting objects.
Everyone in this photo should be applauded. And by applauded, I mean they all have the clap.
Especially the Mexican Amy Winehorse.
Especially the Mexican Amy Winehorse.
Here is yet another example of how fucking retarded douchebags are...they try so hard to be individuals, yet they end up looking like unsuccessful cloning projects where, yeah they look alike, but they are functionally retarded...I will give Xenu minor props on at least doing his own thing alone...not like a little bitch who says to his other little bitch, "I want to stand out, but only if you do it too..." to the point they have the same facial outgrowths and crop lines?
# posted by : 11:03 AM
: 11:03 AM
God damn it. I can not express the hate I have for coordinated douching. Why spend your time and money to end up looking exactly like your friend/brother/lover/wingman? The same haircuts? For real?
I think I am going to cry. At work. This has ruined my day.
PS. I would still rub my face all over those boobies.
I think I am going to cry. At work. This has ruined my day.
PS. I would still rub my face all over those boobies.
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
These douchebags look like cartoon characters. I can't stop laughing. I think I may have soiled myself.
# posted by : 11:11 AM
: 11:11 AM
Baldheaded douche on the right is so sad -- he wanted to be a triplet but lacks the hair to join the club.
# posted by : 11:12 AM
: 11:12 AM
Every person in that picture is a flaming piece of shit. They give both Douchebags and Bleeths a bad rep.
I smell a weekly/monthly/yearly contender.
I smell a weekly/monthly/yearly contender.
# posted by : 11:15 AM
: 11:15 AM
With the help of their 2 assistants, Him & Roid will attempt to remove all of the class from the room.
Scissor Sista is actually the most stand out fella in the room... just because. But then again his blue shirted twin is probably at the bar trying to refill his red solo.
- Douchey Smurf
Scissor Sista is actually the most stand out fella in the room... just because. But then again his blue shirted twin is probably at the bar trying to refill his red solo.
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 11:20 AM
: 11:20 AM
@ darksock
pure genius. 14 karat comedic gold, my friend.
overwieght guys who mosturize can't look badass no matter how hard they pose.
on a sad note, chuck d has really let himself go.....
pure genius. 14 karat comedic gold, my friend.
overwieght guys who mosturize can't look badass no matter how hard they pose.
on a sad note, chuck d has really let himself go.....
I agree with db1, and would like to add a little corollary. The fact that you find a bleeth attractive does not mean you have to sink to her level. Perhaps a mocking comment about her baguetteness and wanting to paw her may be just what she needs to hear to save her from that dark place she's sunk to. Especially when a thousand guys in a row say that to her at a club.
You know, kinda like the slutty girl who keeps complaining that guys just stare at her boobs. Hey, you got the surgery and put them in that perfect shiny halter top. What did you want us to do, discuss Tolstoy with you?
Now these are the type of Jersey girls who want you to shoot straight for the puckered star!
# posted by : 11:32 AM
: 11:32 AM
My eyes keep going to silly little bag hanging from Winehouse's shoulder. Is that some kind of gay shocker he's throwing for his pal?
# posted by : 11:49 AM
: 11:49 AM
Yea -- the gay shocker --I think they were trying to touch their middle fingers together and simulate blowing each other with their lips.
# posted by : 11:52 AM
: 11:52 AM
showcase magazine is an anagram for Ace womanizes Hags.
I'm gonna guess Ace is second from the right.
And we know who the hags are.
I'm gonna guess Ace is second from the right.
And we know who the hags are.
Gayhawk on the right has the greasiest face ever - or he's wearing more makeup than Elivra and her handmaiden.
# posted by : 11:57 AM
: 11:57 AM
Gayhawk on the right has the greasiest face ever - or he's wearing more makeup than Elivra and her handmaiden.
# posted by : 11:57 AM
: 11:57 AM
Upon detailed examination I believe these two to be Xenu's houseboys. And by houseboys, I mean fluffers.
These two are some skanky slutbags. I wouldn't bone them with Darksocks crank. But I WOULD motorboat those boobies!!!!
These two are some skanky slutbags. I wouldn't bone them with Darksocks crank. But I WOULD motorboat those boobies!!!!
# posted by : 12:18 PM
: 12:18 PM
This group's future contribution to society will be about as productive as 4 penises at a lepper colony.
Just piles of trash in the garden of life. These pigs have zero redeeming value or any offering for mankind. I loath such vermen.
# posted by : 12:24 PM
: 12:24 PM
I'm late to the game on this pic, but possibly the worst ever on the site.
I'm going to club myself like a baby seal just for viewing it.
I'm going to club myself like a baby seal just for viewing it.
wow, yes the girls are pretty douchey too. Except that one has some nice tight/hard titties.
Scrote faced Derek Jeter on the right is creepy as fuck!
Most guys don't wear the same shirt out together but these losers thought it would be ok to wear the same haircut? Winners of the weekly I am sure.
Scrote faced Derek Jeter on the right is creepy as fuck!
Most guys don't wear the same shirt out together but these losers thought it would be ok to wear the same haircut? Winners of the weekly I am sure.
# posted by : 12:33 PM
: 12:33 PM
I'm trying to figure out whether these two would be considered fraternal twin douchebags or identical twin douchebags...
# posted by : 12:37 PM
: 12:37 PM
So confusing ... the tattoos say she's down with the revolution, but the douche in tow says she likes being beaten by her husband...
The fruit stripe gum twins. And by fruit I mean gay and by stripe I mean they lovingly nibble those tracks on the side of each others head.
Poo fumes for all.
Poo fumes for all.
# posted by : 12:49 PM
: 12:49 PM
The fruit stripe gum twins. And by fruit I mean gay and by stripe I mean they lovingly nibble those tracks on the side of each others head.
Poo fumes for all.
Poo fumes for all.
# posted by : 12:49 PM
: 12:49 PM
Wearing the same shirts out in public should only occur on special occasions: bowling or softball team going drinking after a game/match, and doctors from the hospital in scrubs. I don't think these crank-yankers have the IQ or physical make up to partake in any of the activities above.
Little chica comes up to the right height to motorboat Mexican Amy Winehouse.
Little chica comes up to the right height to motorboat Mexican Amy Winehouse.
# posted by : 1:02 PM
: 1:02 PM
Wearing the same shirts out in public should only occur on special occasions: bowling or softball team going drinking after a game/match, and doctors from the hospital in scrubs. I don't think these crank-yankers have the IQ or physical make up to partake in any of the activities above.
Little chica comes up to the right height to motorboat Mexican Amy Winehouse.
Little chica comes up to the right height to motorboat Mexican Amy Winehouse.
# posted by : 1:02 PM
: 1:02 PM
I'm not generally a fan of tats on chicks, but I'd still like to be the meat in their spicy tortilla, and by tortilla I mean having sexual relations with two women at the same time.
Funny thing about these douchetwins; the Jeterbag flashes the international sign of the wiener, and the other one makes the shape of the cornhole.
Funny thing about these douchetwins; the Jeterbag flashes the international sign of the wiener, and the other one makes the shape of the cornhole.
# posted by : 1:30 PM
: 1:30 PM
Before taking Valtrex, tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have HIV/AIDS, kidney disease or if you have had a kidney or bone marrow transplant.
# posted by : 1:30 PM
: 1:30 PM
Let's remake the Sixth Sense with these two, just so that Haley Joel Osmet can make the following line famous.
"I see douche-twins."
"I see douche-twins."
# posted by : 1:32 PM
: 1:32 PM
Why's uber-douche on the left throwing up a three like it's a gang sign? Yeah, we all know, you can swallow three consecutive loads from your twin on the right without coming up for air... but don't go around pretending that anybody cares.
Finally, proof positive that doucheosity is hereditary, courtesy of the identical scrotes.
Their parents must be pleased.
If they didn't have the good sense to succumb to a murder/suicide pact.
Their parents must be pleased.
If they didn't have the good sense to succumb to a murder/suicide pact.
the correct term for the female douche is doucherag.
you're welcome.
-A. Eidolon
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you're welcome.
-A. Eidolon
# posted by : 2:36 PM
: 2:36 PM << Home
