Wednesday, May 21, 2008
HCwDB of the Month: Bra!!
As if there could be any doubt.
Burnsy hits the nail on the head: Bra. Never has a 'Bag done so much with so little and said so much by saying nothing.
I think that's what captures the scrotal spirit of Bra's ridiculousness.
Bra!! is everybag, yet ubersquat. It is generic, yet highly specific. It is standard Floridian beach douche, yet it is also the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like a Pepsi.
Red Cup Diaries explains:
While the other contestants ooze scrote juice so much they want to make me punch a baby. But while they are adorned in the gross regalia of douchebaggery it's all just an accesory to emphasize their scrotieness. Bra on the other hand doesn't wear his baggery like a costume. He wears it like a skin. His baggery is a living organism that is much a part of him as a kidney.
It was an overwhelming Bramination:
boatbutter: Broheim, it's gotta be Bra, bro!
Charles Bra!!nson: If I were alive I'd vote for Bra!!
Ol' Dirty Douchebag: He. Has. No. Trousers. Bra FTW.
Lord Douchemunguous: Just when I think there's no answer, I see that damn facial expression on the High King of Broheim, and I know it has to be... Bra! FTW.
However, as much as Bra!! dominated the voting, the others found support. 92bpms makes the case for The high stenchosity of the Canker Twins:
But I can't give it to Bra, as much as everything about him is the douche, I just can't. Not when the Canker Twins walk this earth. For they are douches far beyond our comprehension. Their hotts have been seduced by the douche side and yet we would still rest our chins upon their awesome boobage much like the two hotts are doing. The Twins sandwich their hotts and cast side-eyed glances.
To the Dogon of Mali this is the representation made flesh of their sacred stars, Sirius A and Sirius B (binary stars which we know of as the dog star). In this the Dogon foresee the return of the little blue douches that once lived in the dwellings high up on the cliffs of the Bandiagara escarpment. Soon the Niger river will be booming with the sound of trance, pontoon boats will be tied together and affliction t-shirts will be worn by all men. Meanwhile the Canker Twins will return to Pro Clips for a trim of their Vanilla Ice lines.
Well said, 92. And Kyle Scrote Jr. explains the Pipster's pure-douche rage:
Pippy FTW.
He walks with a elemental, boiled-down-to-its-bare- essence douchosity that just makes me want to walk on his face for 9 innings in Douchetin Pedroia's spikes.
And lets not forget the perfection of Sexy Sky Bunny. She is glorious.
massengill explains why the rage of Turd Flush should trump Bra!!'s fratdouchey ways:
I don't really dislike Bra all that much. Yes, he looks like a tool in many of his pictures. Yes, his sense of humor probably consists of quoting "Old School." But he just doesn't seem like that bad of a guy. Plus, I love his love of soda pop.
Turd Flush FTW. He is a real douche. A douche's douche. Accessorizing with the mandana and accessorizing his mandana with sunglasses: that is compound douchedom.
But Bra!! is legend, and we must all respek. As viva la revolucion puts it:
I have seldom seen anyone embrace unbridled scrotebaggery the way Bra does. While the other three contenders make valiant efforts to mask their lack of communal worth through the facade of meaninglessness, the mocking contempt with which Bra pulls off the quintessence of the douche belies a force heretofore unseen on this site. It would be a crime to vote against such a raging maelstrom of scroticity.
And Old 'Bag Eyes Frank Scrotnatra sums it up:
The smirk, the stars, the liter of cola.
Simply Bra.
Bra FTW.
A well earned double star tatt victory, and we'll see Bra!! in the yearly, broheim.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:08 AM 
Comments:
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Bra makes baby jesus cry.
Nice work, you star-tatted shitspeck.
And to think your guidance counselor said you'd never amount to anything...
Nice work, you star-tatted shitspeck.
And to think your guidance counselor said you'd never amount to anything...
i just have a quick question to all those who say bra isn't so bad...
what would you do if this guy showed up at your door to take your daughter out on a date?
perspective, gentlemen.
fuck bra!!
what would you do if this guy showed up at your door to take your daughter out on a date?
perspective, gentlemen.
fuck bra!!
hahahaha. my boss just submitted picsof a local celebrity to DB1 and Cced me on the e-mail.
Gotta love corporate sponsorship...DB1, hope you post them!
Army of Douche-ness
Gotta love corporate sponsorship...DB1, hope you post them!
Army of Douche-ness
# posted by 
: 7:38 AM
: 7:38 AM
Bra!! is all marketing.
If he had been named something lame like pooldouche, he would be just a used tampon sitting in the trash.
If he had been named something lame like pooldouche, he would be just a used tampon sitting in the trash.
# posted by : 7:41 AM
: 7:41 AM
@Douchemi... I totally couldn't agree more... Fuck-a-bunch Bra. He's 250 lbs. of meathead Douche for sure... but the Cankers deserved a little more magic.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 7:47 AM
: 7:47 AM
@ Douchemi
I couldn't agree more. "Bra!!" can't get out of its own way.
It's not a single person or douche anymore. It's a mantra.
It began with the defeat of DNA Dan and has snowballed into Cabbage Patch Kid mania proportions.
If Bra came to take my daughter out I would crack a RC with him and talk about the advantages it has over Coke and Pepsi.
Bra is invited to my birthday party.
I couldn't agree more. "Bra!!" can't get out of its own way.
It's not a single person or douche anymore. It's a mantra.
It began with the defeat of DNA Dan and has snowballed into Cabbage Patch Kid mania proportions.
If Bra came to take my daughter out I would crack a RC with him and talk about the advantages it has over Coke and Pepsi.
Bra is invited to my birthday party.
I'm takinig it a step farther. I'm giving Bra a not-a-douche pass.
He's invited to my house for Christmas dinner. We'll drink eggnog, wear dickies and exchange presents. I'm getting him a make your own soda machine. He's going to love it.
He's invited to my house for Christmas dinner. We'll drink eggnog, wear dickies and exchange presents. I'm getting him a make your own soda machine. He's going to love it.
Bra vs Tighty Armani in the yearly, clearly the two frontrunners. This is shaping up to be a showdown of epic proportions.
# posted by : 7:55 AM
: 7:55 AM
@ arkansas dave: I love it.
I'm with you. I'm going to invite Bra!! over to my house and we'll try on each others thong collections. Then, he can bang my sister.
I'm with you. I'm going to invite Bra!! over to my house and we'll try on each others thong collections. Then, he can bang my sister.
# posted by : 8:01 AM
: 8:01 AM
The power of marketing cannot be denied, whether it is KFC convincing fat assess that they can lose weight by eating fried chicken, or convincing housewives that they need to drive V8 tanks, or even the extreme of giving Pfah gainful employment.
You wait and see; Hillary will change her name to "Bra" and crush Obama. Until McCain legally changes his name to "Gram-Bra".
You wait and see; Hillary will change her name to "Bra" and crush Obama. Until McCain legally changes his name to "Gram-Bra".
I posted this last evening but it's more apt for today:
What I love about Db1's method of managing the content is how it somewhat mimicks hollywood- It starts like this...
Somewhere in Orange County, Jersey, Dallas or Miami a great douche is discovered. After this, he hits us like a whirlwind appearing on the cover of every magazine and billboard. He has his own fragrance and male cosmetic line. Te trademarks his own douche smirk and hang-gesture. TMZ dedicates at least 10 minutes to him daily and then What Would Tyler Durden Do? tears him down. He's seen with Purg Hott and Mayerdouche. He says he's too cool to bother hanging out with Johnny Blaze and Xenu is just too weird. He guzzles goose with King Douchous at the Playboy Mansion. He gets a private meeting with Gator when Gator comes to LA to talk about lifestyle and real estate. He mentions Pumpy in his acceptance speech as his source of inspiration. He claims to be this year's Joey Porsche. He tells the reporters he was the one who coined the phrase "Fuck Fish Slap" and just let DB1 take the credit. He's dating the girls you want and recently had lunch with Deathtongue's quartasian persian minx.
Everywhere you look it's Bra here and Bra there. Their celebrity appeal is ubiqitous like the red cup, unavoidable, and undeniable...and thus, a star is born...
Army of Douche-ness
What I love about Db1's method of managing the content is how it somewhat mimicks hollywood- It starts like this...
Somewhere in Orange County, Jersey, Dallas or Miami a great douche is discovered. After this, he hits us like a whirlwind appearing on the cover of every magazine and billboard. He has his own fragrance and male cosmetic line. Te trademarks his own douche smirk and hang-gesture. TMZ dedicates at least 10 minutes to him daily and then What Would Tyler Durden Do? tears him down. He's seen with Purg Hott and Mayerdouche. He says he's too cool to bother hanging out with Johnny Blaze and Xenu is just too weird. He guzzles goose with King Douchous at the Playboy Mansion. He gets a private meeting with Gator when Gator comes to LA to talk about lifestyle and real estate. He mentions Pumpy in his acceptance speech as his source of inspiration. He claims to be this year's Joey Porsche. He tells the reporters he was the one who coined the phrase "Fuck Fish Slap" and just let DB1 take the credit. He's dating the girls you want and recently had lunch with Deathtongue's quartasian persian minx.
Everywhere you look it's Bra here and Bra there. Their celebrity appeal is ubiqitous like the red cup, unavoidable, and undeniable...and thus, a star is born...
Army of Douche-ness
# posted by : 8:02 AM
: 8:02 AM
And I would invite Bra over, hand him my TV remote, and chug 3-liters with him while my wife packed her suitcase in the next room.
the first three letters of my name are bra, i'm just gonna go by that from now on...
bra won the monthly contest
surrounded by perky young breasts
he raised his drink high
and screamed towards the sky
Woo! Coca Cola's the best!
bra won the monthly contest
surrounded by perky young breasts
he raised his drink high
and screamed towards the sky
Woo! Coca Cola's the best!
Red Cup Diaries is now tied with Husker Douche for my favorite name that any of you animals has come up with.
And the Bra photo below better win a damn Douchie.
And the Bra photo below better win a damn Douchie.
What's next? His own TV show, "Bra, The Happy Go Lucky Meathook."
Cola wars will erupt over who gets to sponsor this piece of marketing gold. Of course, by gold I mean shit-stained thong.
douche doors down
Cola wars will erupt over who gets to sponsor this piece of marketing gold. Of course, by gold I mean shit-stained thong.
douche doors down
# posted by : 8:19 AM
: 8:19 AM
i wish there were stats on the voting. i reckon he received over 90%. i'm to lazy to go count myself.
# posted by : 8:26 AM
: 8:26 AM
Bra! just makes me laugh. There is no douche-hott dynamic at all. He stands for nothing more than post-frat party disgust. DNA Dan and Library Hott are the ultimate expression of our existential lhoplessness and post-rational society. If only I were DNA Dan's media advisor. And then I would show Librarian Hott how to turn on her Kindle.
# posted by : 8:28 AM
: 8:28 AM
@Darksock... You really in Biloxi Bra?
Originally from the Greater Jackson Area myself.
- D.S.
Originally from the Greater Jackson Area myself.
- D.S.
# posted by : 8:32 AM
: 8:32 AM
D.S. -
We now call the city "Braloxi". We have replaced the City's water supply with Pepsi, and star tatts are manditory.
I'm scared.
We now call the city "Braloxi". We have replaced the City's water supply with Pepsi, and star tatts are manditory.
I'm scared.
D.S. -
I lived in Jackson for 10 years in the Fondren Heights area, until crack came to town and there was a shoot-out in my front yard.
Braloxi is much quieter. Except for the occasional 30 foot storm surge.
Oh, right, that was only in New Orleans. My bad.
I lived in Jackson for 10 years in the Fondren Heights area, until crack came to town and there was a shoot-out in my front yard.
Braloxi is much quieter. Except for the occasional 30 foot storm surge.
Oh, right, that was only in New Orleans. My bad.
I'm on Bra!! overload. I feel foggy, confused, and somewhat stupid. Too much Bra!! Make it stop. The only thing that could cure me now is another entry from HJBBAD.
apparently i am a fool.
~Obi-Wan waves his hand~
"this is not the douche you're looking for."
i like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
~Obi-Wan waves his hand~
"this is not the douche you're looking for."
i like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
I'm legend Broheim! Yo bra, I'm totally going to sneak a grope on that hot blondie! Let's grab a Big Gulp, brasky!
You just can't deny the power of Bra. He's deservedly passed on to HCwDB immortality.
You just can't deny the power of Bra. He's deservedly passed on to HCwDB immortality.
# posted by : 8:59 AM
: 8:59 AM
What the fuck is happening to this world? Am I the only one who feels Bra isn't worth a shit? Am i just fucking crazy? Am I the only one who sees through this propaganda bullshit? I posted this yesterday but I don't care i'm going to say it again.
BRA IS SO FUCKING TOTALLY OVERRATED
he is most definitley a great douchebag, but everyone needs to get off his cock now. i've had enough. how is he so different then an average douchebag? he is in the HoS, but why? what makes him so great? NOTHING. he's an average douche thats only strength is that he has 20 pics on this site. Some might say thats a sign of consistency, but i say, fuck no. every douchebag in the world has as many pictures with hot girls as bra. i kno this becasue i live in brooklyn and have been to s.i. and jersey many times and seen many a douchebag. really ask yourself, does he deserve to stand side by side with the prompas, the gator, pumpy, ab lobster, xenu, donkey, fish slap, the twins, cro bagnon?
HELL FUCKING NO.
put the pictures side by side and really think about it. there is not ONE thing about him that is so unique and outstandingly douchey that he deserves to be in the HoS. so he has a star tattoo. BIG FUCKING DEAL. there have been alot worse that have never gotten any bit of reckognition. he makes a douche face. so does everyone else on this site, and again, there have been much much worse. he only has one average, genericly douchey look. nothing more, nothing less, nothing special. He is the minor leagues of douches. he is the john cena of douches. he is the phil baroni of douchebags. He is a fucking average, mid card, regular frat douchebag that has been shoved in our faces and hyped up as being the fucking douchebag messiah, and all of you are being sucked into it. well i refuse to give into the propaganda.
can somebody give me a fucking amen!!? somebody throw me a fucking bone. i don't know. maybe its just the Jager. fuck it i don't care anymore.
-Jakobim Mugatdouche
BRA IS SO FUCKING TOTALLY OVERRATED
he is most definitley a great douchebag, but everyone needs to get off his cock now. i've had enough. how is he so different then an average douchebag? he is in the HoS, but why? what makes him so great? NOTHING. he's an average douche thats only strength is that he has 20 pics on this site. Some might say thats a sign of consistency, but i say, fuck no. every douchebag in the world has as many pictures with hot girls as bra. i kno this becasue i live in brooklyn and have been to s.i. and jersey many times and seen many a douchebag. really ask yourself, does he deserve to stand side by side with the prompas, the gator, pumpy, ab lobster, xenu, donkey, fish slap, the twins, cro bagnon?
HELL FUCKING NO.
put the pictures side by side and really think about it. there is not ONE thing about him that is so unique and outstandingly douchey that he deserves to be in the HoS. so he has a star tattoo. BIG FUCKING DEAL. there have been alot worse that have never gotten any bit of reckognition. he makes a douche face. so does everyone else on this site, and again, there have been much much worse. he only has one average, genericly douchey look. nothing more, nothing less, nothing special. He is the minor leagues of douches. he is the john cena of douches. he is the phil baroni of douchebags. He is a fucking average, mid card, regular frat douchebag that has been shoved in our faces and hyped up as being the fucking douchebag messiah, and all of you are being sucked into it. well i refuse to give into the propaganda.
can somebody give me a fucking amen!!? somebody throw me a fucking bone. i don't know. maybe its just the Jager. fuck it i don't care anymore.
-Jakobim Mugatdouche
# posted by : 9:20 AM
: 9:20 AM
Bra!?------>Blah....the best thing to come of all this STILL has to be Massadouchetts' 'Brahemian Rhapsody', still chuckling over that posting, very well done!
'Ol Bagnanimous
'Ol Bagnanimous
# posted by : 10:27 AM
: 10:27 AM
For those still doubting Bra I think you should re-read my drunken, barely legible explanation. Bra embodies douchebaggery. He's not like some tacky flower you're grandma spent weeks cultivating. He's a fucking weed that will be there no matter what you do. He's a douche in the raw.
Bra! Broheim! Brosef! Another Pepsi. And titties!
And to the guy that liked my name: Thank you. I've beeen trying to come up with a good one for a long time.
Bra! Broheim! Brosef! Another Pepsi. And titties!
And to the guy that liked my name: Thank you. I've beeen trying to come up with a good one for a long time.
@Darksock... Man I'm from Madison. Lived in Jackson for years... Belhaven neighborhood and then in the Ironworks building on S. St. Anyway I know lots of folks around Fondren... sure we know a few of the same.
And actually MS Gulf Coast caught the big wave... New Orleans suffered levee failure. No matter how you slice it the coastal regions of both states got fucked.
- D.S.
And actually MS Gulf Coast caught the big wave... New Orleans suffered levee failure. No matter how you slice it the coastal regions of both states got fucked.
- D.S.
# posted by : 11:07 AM
: 11:07 AM
do u know why bra won- the hotts love him! he is the quintessential bra and attracts sorority hotts like a beacon in the nite. rock on bra- good luck in the yearly ;)
clues to this guys myspace?? anyone??
clues to this guys myspace?? anyone??
# posted by : 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM
@ D.S.
Belhaven is beautiful. Unless you want to keep a stereo in your car.
Yeah, I lived in Madison a couple of years, too; one of those neighborhoods behind the Kroger. I drew on a lot of the schools around there as an intern; the high school, Madison Avenue, etc.
The coast is as filled with drunken louts as Madison was filled with snobs. Therefore I simply fit in better down here.
And our initials are both D.S.
Crazy...
Belhaven is beautiful. Unless you want to keep a stereo in your car.
Yeah, I lived in Madison a couple of years, too; one of those neighborhoods behind the Kroger. I drew on a lot of the schools around there as an intern; the high school, Madison Avenue, etc.
The coast is as filled with drunken louts as Madison was filled with snobs. Therefore I simply fit in better down here.
And our initials are both D.S.
Crazy...
I just wanted to pop in and say....
BURRRRRRRR-RHHHHAAAAAAAAA!
bra.
Can't stop sayin' it.
(bra)
BURRRRRRRR-RHHHHAAAAAAAAA!
bra.
Can't stop sayin' it.
(bra)
# posted by : 3:10 PM
: 3:10 PM
I threw my weight behind the Cankers because, like so many others, the hott-douche dynamic just wasn't there. Until yesterday's pre-celebratory post. Now that I've seen that exquisitely douchey face plastered upon his mug while copping an apparently welcome feel on Cutie McBlondeshorts, I have but one word to say: Bra.
Write it in the sky in gossamer teardrops.
Write it in the sky in gossamer teardrops.
# posted by : 4:01 PM
: 4:01 PM
I thought of something. Y'all say Bra! is overrated. That he's flash in the pan douche. Give Bra! the monthly, let him beat DNA Dan in the Weekly, who cares? Bra! will go away, he burns so brightly he can't last. Then Bra! invades Poland, and now what are you gonna do?
Bra! must be stopped at all costs!
Bra! must be stopped at all costs!
# posted by : 7:09 PM
: 7:09 PM
Two suburban douches hangin out in front of The Gap while frontin' ghetto:
Douche-poser1: Bra, yo, ya heard bra one the title bro
Douche-poser2: Naw, snap, fo rizzeelz, word son?
Fist pounding, followed by chest bump
Douche-poser1: Broheeeeeeim!
Just then a real ghetto kid runs up and pistol whips both of these douchie jackasses...
THE END
This story has been brought to you by Bud Light with Lime, the douchiest drink of our time..."It's got lime BROHEIM!!!!"
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
Douche-poser1: Bra, yo, ya heard bra one the title bro
Douche-poser2: Naw, snap, fo rizzeelz, word son?
Fist pounding, followed by chest bump
Douche-poser1: Broheeeeeeim!
Just then a real ghetto kid runs up and pistol whips both of these douchie jackasses...
THE END
This story has been brought to you by Bud Light with Lime, the douchiest drink of our time..."It's got lime BROHEIM!!!!"
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
# posted by : 10:09 PM
: 10:09 PM
He gets more pussy in gainesville than all of fraternity row...and hotchickswithdouchebags is his main promoter.
I hear he gets a new star tattoo every time he takes a girl's virginity.
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I hear he gets a new star tattoo every time he takes a girl's virginity.
# posted by : 8:04 AM
: 8:04 AM << Home
