"Canker Twins" a.k.a. The Illusionists "Him & Roid" get my vote.

- Douchey Smurf
 

The glasses, the hair, the empty box of light beer. And the hott. She doesn't deserve him, she deserves me. Still Life with Coors Light FTW. I hope she ditches him at prom and hooks up with a non-douchy friend.
 

Canker Twins. Not even close.

- Birddouche
 

Cankers, the only reason it's not a landslide is because the hotts are a little over bleethed.
 

The Preppy 'Bag isn't bad at all. He may be throwing out the sideways piece and then nailing his piece sideways, but he's no weekly winner.

Still Life is something else. I don't even think we were ready for this uber-scrote. And until I can even figure out where the hell they took that picture, I just can't vote for him.

Canker Twins. I mean, wow. Fuck these guys with a vibrator made of chainsaws.
 

Still Life for the win! The utter hubris of this rock star wannabe and ample breasts are the epitome of HCwDB.
 

Canker Twins, for the simple fact that they made my eyes bleed.
 

The odd reverse shocker from Left Canker and the bird from Right Canker make them get my vote. Although wouldn't have been cuter if the twins could've flashed the same sign? Sure the Bleeths take the entry down a peg but Canker Twins douchery carries the day.

Preppy Bag looks like he's really a prep and he's trying to go douche.

I'm not sure what to think about Still Life. I don't get angry when I see that pic. Just get the giggles.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Tough vote this week.

You have the utter disgustingness of the Canker Twins who, along with their Bleeths, make me want to shower just looking at them.

Then you have Still Life, who is completely douchey with a big tittied hott. However, he seems more of a gimmick to me. Like the next time I turn on the MTV Video Music Awards, Still Life will be dressed like that accepting the award for Best New Choad of the Year.

Finally, we have Preppy Bag. He wins IMO. Now, he may look halfway normal and even be normal. But the fact that he pulls in a hot piece of ass like that wearing an argyle sweater, velvet coat, and a fauxhawk is a complete anomaly. Throw in the sideways piece sign to boot, and I just want to bust a beer bottle over this choad's head.

Preppy Bag FTW
 

SLWCL hands down.
He makes me want to live the rest of my life in a cage. The size of her fupa makes Delta Burke jealous.

Canker Twins are more circus freak than douche. Douchey circus freaks, but circus freaks nonetheless.

Preppy bag just wants to drive his 1992 Mustang convertible to Golf n Stuff. Leave him alone.

SLWCL FTW.
 

Still Life With [Coors Light (2008)] is the third novel by [DB1], concerning the love affair between an environmentalist princess and an outlaw. As with most of [DB1's] books, it encompasses a broad range of topics, from aliens and [mohawks] to consumerism, the building of bombs, romance, royalty, [belts], and a [box of Coors Light].

The novel continuously addresses the question of how to make [douche] stay. The story is sometimes called a post-[scrotal] fairy tale.

(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Still_Life_with_Woodpecker Retrieved on 12 May 2008.)
 

I really want to give it to preppy Dave from accounting, but his shocker could just as well be a three stooges eye poke fake-out on the hott temp summer intern receptionist he's trying to bang.

Canker twins FTW. They are truly an abomination.
 

Definitely the Herp Sores. The chicks they are with are fucking gross, I think we can all agree. But they're just too scrotey to be ignored. Anyone who doubts, may I direct your attention to the fucking colored contacts on right'bag. Oh, and his douche'burns are triangular. Train wrecks, the lot of 'em.
 

SLWCL for the win.

I just can't get over the context. The desolate lot, the URC conscience on his shoulder, and the nuclear winter sky are too much to let go. This picture made me watch 1984. I cried a little.
 

STILL LIFE!
 

Has to be Still Life. This pic reminds me of a Wang Chung video where Security-Scrote (with barely discernable ubiquitous red cup) and Dada-Bag bounce back and forth between foreground and background with the details ever so slightly rearranged. The next shot has Security-Scrote in the foreground, Dada-Bag in the back and the Coors Light box switched witht the small shrubbery/large weed. If you ever watched early 80s videos you know what I mean.

Also, the Coors Light. Who would have thought that beer drinkers would need their cans to change color to tell them the beer is cold. I guess Coors Brewing Co. knows the IQ of its consumers.

Because it's not everyday you can invoke Wang Chung on this site and Coors Light sucks and I like cleavage: Still Life FTW.
 

You've placed a serious conundrum at our feet DB1. The problem is that the Preppy 'Bag is the only scrote with a hot chick, yet his level of douchosity is low on the Massengill Chart (famed measurement mechanism of overall doucheness). Still Life with Coors is a genuine, bona fide douche. He needs to be hit in the face with the flat end of shovel. But the chick with him is a pig. Therefore, he doesn't qualify as a Douchebag with a Hot Chick. And then there's the Canker Twins. When I got out my Massengill Counter and aimed it at the picture, sparks shot out of it and it short circuited. The level of douchosity in that picture was too much for my little douche detector. While I agree that the Bleeth's are a little far gone, I'd nail either of them before Still Life's Big Hoochie Mama. I'd hate myself in the morning, but hey...In summary, a minor douche with a hotty doesn't quite compare to the monumental scrote-packing douchosity of these two mascara wearing, head shaving retards. The Canker Twins are the douches of the week. And remember...the douche abides.
 

preppy 'bag doesn't blow me away. i can understand voting for the canker twins, but their women frighten me away.

SLwCL is just too unique not to vote for. it is a towering achievement of amateur photography. the combined absurdity of the setting, characters, props, and tone makes it appear to be composed, but it's just coincidental. this pic would stand out if grouped with any of the plethora of club, pool, and shitty apartment pics we're subjected to. the girl's package is just a result of her stance, an attempt to hide a little bit of a tummy. i like the curves though, and she's definitely the purest "next door" of the females. to top it off, what a douchebag! SLwCL must win, for posterity.
 

after much careful deliberation, or as much actual brain power i can muster at this ungodly hour, i come to the following conclusions:

SLWCL is fascinating enigma wrapped in a sweater, wrapped in a vest, with a shitty white belt. A Xenu disciple? A post-apocolyptic Repo Man? Drag queen art school rejects? Another shitty band? All of the above?

Argylebag to me doesn't even exist. The hott is thermoneuclear aryan,white-choclatey goodness with a sweet, creamy middle. She overpowers anything else within a 10-mile radius, including his country-club, frat,trust-fund, douche-ness.

The Canker Twins, however, make my lower intestines curdle as if I had eaten 3 lbs. of bad veal for breakfast and washed it down with a warm rancid milk & scotch cocktail. They make me want to take them out to the Nevada desert and re-enact the baseball bat scene from Goodfellas on their scrotey asses.

Therefore, based on pure gut-level revulsion:

Canker Twins FTW.

May god have mercy on Chuck D's soul.
 

Although the gravitational pull from that UTB (unidentified turquoise bulge) and its accompanying friends up top is strong, and the placement of the silver bullets box standing alone is hauntingly poetic...

I just cannot get past the irony and existential trauma done by "guys" who are willing to step out of the conformity box to the point they shave crop lines into their domes, yet have the insecurity to not be the only one out there. I mean if you are gonna be a top-notch douche-hound, then have the sack to ride like your red cup, SOLO.

Props to the earlier Life of Douche reference, that said it all, man...that said it all.

SuperTwins, in their road unis for the win...here's hoping the go 8Belles at the finish line.
 

I can't vote for the Canker Twins, simply because the "hotts" hereafter known as the "Skanker Twins" simply do not cut the mustard. The modified shocker that Coke-line bag is throwing gets a few style points, but the rest of the picture is, well, more sad than douchey.

Preppy 'Bag, he is the devil incarnate. His hott is easily the cream of this crop. He's a nice guy to be sure, friends with all the Hausfraus in the secretary pool, but you just know he has a poorly ventilated crawlspace under his mom's house, filled with clown costumes, and rotting corpses.

But the winner has to be SL(wCL). That Brit-punk, Billy Idolesque sneer, the old man, oversized glasses, the belt, the hair. Coors Light for fuck's sake? 8 year olds already know not to drink that cow piss. Is he wearing a vest over his shirt, with tie tucked into said vest? Or is he practicing his tie tuck so when he joins the national Guard to prove he doesn't smoke guys poles in the truck stop parking lot, he'll be ahead of the game? I can't tell. His hott is sublime, although her fabric folding skills need work.
 

-At least Still Life has a real mohawk
-There's nothing "hot" in the picture of the canker twins. I see only douchebags, male and female.
-Therefore, Argylebag gets it for his embarassing fauxhawk and...argyle. plus, she is the only attractive woman in this weekly.
 

This is tough. There's a small part of me that wants to cast a vote for each contestant. And by cast a vote, I mean vote for them in this contest.

I guess I'm gonna have to go with The Canker Twins. If someone asked me "Hey Scrotebob, how has rancid douchosity transformed since Richard Greico's early influence in the '90s, and more specifically, how has it directly affected the Hotts?", I'd just show him this photo and be done.

Even after voting for that trainwreck, I still want to feed Still Life through my shredder.
 

no contest, CRANKER TWINS FTW!
 

Cankers...maybe some warm salt water will make them go away.
or a 20 ga. shotgun
 

The Canker Twins all the way. Not only are they nth level douche with thier matching head stripes and T shirts, but we have what I believe to be a rare and not yet officially categorized level of Bleeth.

As all know Bleeth tags run from 1 to 4 in normal circumstances. I believe this a rare sighting of a 4+ Bleeth. This is the only existing vector of FEMALE TO MALE Grieco virus transmission. Where previously it was safe to mingle with the 'bagettes and fear only the occasional trip to the clinic and pesky lip sores, we now must fear becoming that which we despise most.

Beware fellow 'bag hunters. I believe a new plague may be upon us. The search for a vaccine begins today........
 

Argylebag is just a mid-level marketing junior executive in a grocery store chain who has just recently discovered that bringing blow to an ultralounge attracts hottie-come-naughties. Third place.

Still Life with Coors Life is a theater cat who's only dressing sideways to exact double-takes at his prom in Enid, Oklahoma. Plus, he might be gay and she might be his fag-hag (unless of course the peculiar fold of the dress is not just a trick of the light and is, in fact, a protusion). Second place.

Although the hyper-Bleeths with the Canker Twins would win many honors in CoolDudesWithSkankHoes.com (should DB1 choose to give HCwDB a sister site), the scrote-level of the Canker Twins more than compensates for any imbalance or douche to hott factor. These twin doucheys actually spent two hours getting their horizontal blinds on the sides of their heads to match? First place, nearly lapping the field!
 

my vote is for the arcane modern masterpiece that is still life. it has that giant "WTF???" factor that i really enjoy. it's intriguing and confusing. you see all the elements of the photo, and you try to imagine how they all came to be. the strange landscape, the mysterious man in the back, the incredibly douchey scrote-sack with a gigantic stalagmite for hair, the lonely case of coors lite, but most of all, the beautiful woman with the big natural breasts and her mystery bulge. just what is she hiding? excess skin from multiple childbirths? or is it something more sinister?

either way, the pic gets my vote.
 

this was a whole lot harder than i had originally anticipated.

that said, i'm voting for The Preppy 'Bag. mainly because the hott in the picture is the hottest hott in the grouping. the girls in The Canker Twins picture are grotesque and beyond saving, and the girl in SLwCL is....well.....she........she's got a penis.

therefore, even though The Peppy 'Bag isn't the biggest douche in the group, his girl propels him to the forefront of douchebaggery, and earns him my vote.

i am certain he won't win the Weekly, but i'll sleep better knowing that i voted with my dick.
 

although still life's hot is wearing a cod piece under her blue dress and preppy chode is hawked up, the cankers gotta win hands down. i determine the douchiness of the bag by how enraged i become when i look at the actual bag, not the sum of the bag with the hott. In canker, the Hispanic John Travolta on the right, makes me wanna put on my scorpions jacket, go to Rydell high, and beat him unmercifully with the panini maker that he did his hair with. How appropriate that he should star in Grease. On a side note, Fuck Fish Slap.
 

Im torn....the preppy bag is too boring and the other two are so unsanely over the top they lack that "every man douche" quality that i look for when voting..............I guess ill vote for the canker twins due to pure over the topness
 

I've talked about SLWCL in its own comment section, and I have to vote for it as douche of the week. It's stunning. As river douce noted,

"it is a towering achievement of amateur photography. the combined absurdity of the setting, characters, props, and tone makes it appear to be composed, but it's just coincidental. this pic would stand out if grouped with any of the plethora of club, pool, and shitty apartment pics we're subjected to."

I couldn't agree more. Someone else noted the Bleeth's appearance on another site, and in those pictures she's clearly A Lot Of Woman, but certainly not obese, just blessed with Humungus Boobies. Women who come by those naturally, tend to have a larger tummy, and it is her stance in the photo that she is trying to downplay her abdominal girth. What also comes out in the other pictures is that she is actually rather pretty. Heck, I'd poke her pudendal introiti with my erectum virile membrum any day. And then curse myself for weeks.

This photo is an example of the purest folk art, as riverdouche noted, it just "happened" as a photo, but it is perfect. His douchosity is nearly radioactive, which only brings emphasis to the depleted Orwellian landscape. The crappy beer, half gone is the only prop. The landscape is nearly lunar. The wall is depressing and claustrophobic. The sky is something out of a science fiction novel. This isn't just douche of the week - this is douche of the year. Is she some porno babe? No, she's the girl next door with a bodacious rack gone completely off track. Is he some musclebound douche with roid acne? No - but his douchosity is radiant and selfevident - res ipsa loquitor. They are dressed to go somewhere, but it is clear they're going nowhere. In one picture, they have summed up the essential spiritual death of American culture. Diane Arbus is spinning in her grave with rage that she didn't take this picture.

This picture must be in the competition for Douche of the Year. It really is that good. The others?

The twins are truly douchetastic, but the situation is nothing special. This is them in their natural environment. They're not aspiring to anything beyond their own mental retardation. The bleeths with them are in an advanced state of bleeth-hood and are bordering on skanktasticism. They know they're pathetic, so there's no sport in it. SLWCL's bleeth is totally unself conscious. She BELIEVES she's one hot pussy. The Skanks the twins have in tow are just lowlife and boring.

Then there's yuppiedouche in his argyle. His bleeth is truly bangtastic. Frankly, he looks like he just came out of his office, put a little grease in his hair called up his alky girlfriend and said "lat's go out". After having clients stick Lincolns in her garter, she drank herself stupid, and after this photo, she went outside and puked. He is not a serious douche - he's a weekend wannabe douche. and she's a hottie, but she knows it, which makes her an irritating dicktease.

SLWCL is the vote, and I would nominate it for douche of the Year as well... a remarkable achievement in contemporary photography. Well done.
 

The Canker Twins.
They're horrific. Yet, I can't look away.
 

I would have voted for M&M's had they been in the running.

But since they were left out, Canker Twins FTW.
 

i hate to sound like a creep, but man those are tasty lookin'. . .


the boobies i mean
 

cankers=ftw

because they are so wrong-e!


plus i like to laugh @ the mexi-whinehouse! =:^D
 

I'm voting for Still Life even though something about this pic makes me very uncomfortable and I would rather not have to see it again. The villain from "The Stand" posing for a prom picture in the wasteland is unsettling, but easily the best of the week.
 

Still Life. He looks like the lost member of a douchebag version of Kraftwerk.
 

Got to be Cankers. Coors hot is just not there.
 

SLWCL ftw. Simply because this beautiful piece of art is over my head.
 

Easy - preppy bag. The twins are just stupid looking and who wants their skeezy women anyway. The prom girl doesn't make me feel jealous of whoever she's with and that guy is just trying too hard anyway, I feel sorry for him.

Now preppy bag - he fills me with rage even before seeing his amazingly hot date. She is by far the hottest and he (you just KNOW it) is thinking "man I'm so fucking cool!" That is a true HCwDB combo and the winner.
 

Also, I really can't vote for Still Life because the vote isn't for "Douchebag with prom date hung like a horse of the week"
 

my vote goes to still life.

why? his pose. he looks so stiff and awkward, like he's been trying to perfect the most awesomest pose ever, but still can't get it quite right. he almost doesn't look real, as if this were Madame Tussaud's "pose with a douchebag" exhibit. take a pic, step to the right, and take a pic with Don Rickles.


Bizarre stuff, really.
 

My first mind said to go with Coors Light, but then I saw the Canker Twins and it messed up everything I was taught in Catholic school. I was always told that God doesn't make mistakes. But then I see those two Poobags and question that. Is there a reason that the creator decided to give us two pointing scrotes sammaching overly made up, tattooed and pouting hotts? And then to top it all off, old 5th wheel AKA the hype man is approving this monstrosity. It is just too much wrong going on with Canker Twins to pass on them.
 

This pic definitely should win...something. I can't look away and yet I am considering clawing my eyes out with rusty spoons...anything that can make a man do both at the same time surely must life in douche infamy...
 

Still Life With Coors Light stands head and shoulders, and stupid ass mohawk, above the rest. This vortex of punk-rock jackassery posing for prom photos in an apocalyptic wasteland simply cannot be denied the win. This is Hall of Scrote worthy. That his next-door hott seems to be sporting a unit makes it all the more incredible.
 

Canker Twins, because everytime I look at the pic, my stomach starts turning. I think preppy is trying to act douchy, but it's just an act. And still life, well, no man's date should have a package bigger than his, and that sparks the queasiness. But Canker Twins, well, it's like driving past a 40 car pileup on the highway, with bodyparts and blood all over - you can't stop looking, and you kow you won't be eating anytime soon.
 

The Cankers.
Because there is 2x as much douche.
 

Preppy bag has my vote.

Reason being: I want to bang his chick.

And I know he is probably scoring with that and a line of bullshit about how much money he has and she's dumb enough to buy it.

I hate that.
 

I choose the Space Douche over the Canker Twins. The girls accompanying the Cankers are nearly more douche than the twins, but on the other hand Space Douche may not actually be human. I think the artistic qualities of the Still Life With Coors sorta deserves recognition, however.
 

Gotta go for the Canker for the sheer rage it induces in me. They are by far the douchiest of the 3. I briefly considered Preppy only because his hott smokes the rest of the contenders, but it is not enough to overpower the mock-worthiness of the Cankers.

Still life is an emo/new age punk hybrid and is definitely goofy, but does not qualify as a DB in my book.

Cankers for the win!
 

Preppy bag is a poser scrote. He's got some douche going for him but not enough. His girlfriend/sister shows no sign of either bleeth or total hottness (although she's ultra hott compared to others).

Still Life with Coors Light is way too surreal for me. The location of the shot, the dude in the background, the beer in the foreground, the thick tranny, and this guy's whole appearance look like a bad Salvador Dali painting. All that's missing is a melting clock.

I'm voting for the Canker Twins. They've got matching dos and shirts. Canker on the right even has a damn straw in his Shirley Temple. Plus they're with a couple of uber-bleeths. One looks like a Bratz doll and the other is doing her best Amy Winehorse imitation. Even baldy on the left is voting for them.
 

Still Life for the Win! A True Douche Poses with a chica with man parts!
 

my vote goes to The Preppy 'Bag. A hideous sweater like that deserves to be immortalized. And knowing he'll bang that lovely, drunk Swede later that night makes me want to burn down every J. Crew store.
 

First off I must apologise to the beauty in grey drinking nectar from a flute; it must be nectar since that is the drink of the gods.
That velvet jacket must possess unholy powers that have rendered the windows to her soul opaque. That or he's dropped a roofie in her bubbles. They should have won.
She should have won.

But the absolute abomination that is the Canker Twins general existence was too much. If only they had simultaneously shaved each others hair too deep and severed their temporal arteries. Sure it would have made a mess but then we could have all given our vote to the argyle turd stuck on the dress of Psyche
Cankers steal the prize.
 

Still Life, because of the kick-ass composition. I want to make this my screen-saver. Everybody Feng Shui tonight!
 

Preps, b/c of the Hottness, and b/c the others, though more disturbing by far, exceed my capacity for recognition and absorption. They are and shall remain 'other' to me - like the flame that casts the shadows on Plato's wall; or basketball culture.

I'd milk a yak and ride to Kohlmenhavenhaven clinging to its underbelly for a chance to barter with to her uncle for pickled herring.

Edgar Allen Poser
 

Canker twins and trim are like a bad scene from Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome.
You know, the scene in the club with the bottles of Goose, clouds of axe spray and everybody was wearing fake contacts and cliche tattoos.
The crowd was chanting "Two Douches enter, Canker Twins win!"

You can see this in the deleted scenes on the limited addition DVD.
 

Canker Twins FTW.

Quite simply it's the "shock and awe" douchey coordination rarely pulled off with such twatness.
 

let's literally face the situation at hand, all women pictured are bleeths, just a matter of what degree. because mindy and cindi are tougher than ther dates proves the canker twins claim the cheap but cherished atlantic city bordwalk gold necklaces for their weekly win.
 

On the strength of the Hott, its Preppy Bag by far. No one in their right mind can vote for someone who is packing John Holmes meat, and the other two "hotts" simply aren't. Yeah, the twins are appalling but this isn't "Ho's with douchebags" its HOT chicks with douchebags. And Au Pair hott is from a completely different league than the twins' bitches and a completely different gender than the other "broad".
 

still life and its not even close...gravel rooftop pic punk ass poser please remove the most unpunk of all beers from the pic before you make art...is the chick packing or does she have a fupa that gives the mayerbag in the green shoulderbag holder fupaenvy...tin cup beeging style shades are at best new wave not that scrote knows the difference...and in the other than that mrs lincoln how was the play category...were it not for her package the hott could actually be saucy in a dirty brunette kinda way...
 

Weak week, especially as far as hotts go. I'll go with #3 because I know punk 'bags like this one.
 

For me, it boiled down to #1 and #3. #2's mass of sweet curves is the hottest, but preppy is not overly douchey, just a joker. And by boiled, I mean courtesy flushed.

And after giving 1 and 3 further consideration, I realized I can't like The Clash and hate Coor's simultaneously. My hatrid for Coor's Light beer (tastes like watered down buttcrack) notwithstanding.

So, cast I must with The Cankers. They are actually quite deserving. They both stare at me as if to say: "I'm a bad ass, but dammit I'm also pretty." They forgot to mention that they are greasey and smell of chorizo that's been sitting out too long. I'd feel better about supporting them if their hotts weren't so far gone, but, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

The Cankers it is. Pass the Chapstick.

Amerigo Vesdouchey
 

Simply put, the hotter the hott, divided by the douchier the douche, equals the douchal quotient.The closer this number is to one, the more balance between the douche and the hott. In a fantasy pairing this week, the hottest hott is clearly, Preppy's hot, who scores a 51 out of 60 points. The douchiest douche is clearly Still life, who scores a strong 50 of 60 points, the douchal quotient between these two, if you could photo-shop them together would be an incredible 1.02!, and would be instant Hall of Scrote.....Alas, we have to deal with reality as we are given it...
3rd Place--Preppy bag, with a D-Q of 1.5.He is so not douchey, and his Hott so outclasses him...when he does her missionary style for the 40th time, and loses it in 2 minutes, she will yawn, and he will never smirk like that again
2nd Place--Still life...D-Q =.8,(indicating that the douche is more douchey than the hott is hot), the douchiest guy this week, by himself, yet, his chick just aint got it for me, she's got chubby thighs, and a big ass, I'm tellin'ya, I seen this shit before, as much as he bugs me, the dichotomy just is not there
1st Place---The Canker Twins....D-Q of .93 They overwhelm you with double douchiosity, and, even if she is a totally skanked out tattoed Bleeth, she still scores a a 43 out of 60,( equal to a 7.1), and all that being said, I'd still do her after I clubbed the twins unconscious with a frozen Salmon, but, then again, I am a male slut!
Canker Twins, for the win!
'Ol Bagnanimous
 

Simply put, the hotter the hott, divided by the douchier the douche, equals the douchal quotient.The closer this number is to one, the more balance between the douche and the hott. In a fantasy pairing this week, the hottest hott is clearly, Preppy's hot, who scores a 51 out of 60 points. The douchiest douche is clearly Still life, who scores a strong 50 of 60 points, the douchal quotient between these two, if you could photo-shop them together would be an incredible 1.02!, and would be instant Hall of Scrote.....Alas, we have to deal with reality as we are given it...
3rd Place--Preppy bag, with a D-Q of 1.5.He is so not douchey, and his Hott so outclasses him...when he does her missionary style for the 40th time, and loses it in 2 minutes, she will yawn, and he will never smirk like that again
2nd Place--Still life...D-Q =.8,(indicating that the douche is more douchey than the hott is hot), the douchiest guy this week, by himself, yet, his chick just aint got it for me, she's got chubby thighs, and a big ass, I'm tellin'ya, I seen this shit before, as much as he bugs me, the dichotomy just is not there
1st Place---The Canker Twins....D-Q of .93 They overwhelm you with double douchiosity, and, even if she is a totally skanked out tattoed Bleeth, she still scores a a 43 out of 60,( equal to a 7.1), and all that being said, I'd still do her after I clubbed the twins unconscious with a frozen Salmon, but, then again, I am a male slut!
Canker Twins, for the win!
'Ol Bagnanimous
 

Simply put, the hotter the hott, divided by the douchier the douche, equals the douchal quotient.The closer this number is to one, the more balance between the douche and the hott. In a fantasy pairing this week, the hottest hott is clearly, Preppy's hot, who scores a 51 out of 60 points. The douchiest douche is clearly Still life, who scores a strong 50 of 60 points, the douchal quotient between these two, if you could photo-shop them together would be an incredible 1.02!, and would be instant Hall of Scrote.....Alas, we have to deal with reality as we are given it...
3rd Place--Preppy bag, with a D-Q of 1.5.He is so not douchey, and his Hott so outclasses him...when he does her missionary style for the 40th time, and loses it in 2 minutes, she will yawn, and he will never smirk like that again
2nd Place--Still life...D-Q =.8,(indicating that the douche is more douchey than the hott is hot), the douchiest guy this week, by himself, yet, his chick just aint got it for me, she's got chubby thighs, and a big ass, I'm tellin'ya, I seen this shit before, as much as he bugs me, the dichotomy just is not there
1st Place---The Canker Twins....D-Q of .93 They overwhelm you with double douchiosity, and, even if she is a totally skanked out tattoed Bleeth, she still scores a a 43 out of 60,( equal to a 7.1), and all that being said, I'd still do her after I clubbed the twins unconscious with a frozen Salmon, but, then again, I am a male slut!
Canker Twins, for the win!
'Ol Bagnanimous
 

Preppy is just that.

SLwCL is just punk. (I likes his woman friend. Fullness.)

The Canker Twins get my vote. Same hair cuts? Really? Wow. Sad state of existence when you and your buddy get the same 'do(n't).
 

sorry about the post, my laptop skanked out on me
'Ol Bag
 

The ultra-bleething of the canker's hotts just makes me want to pull the lever and send the whole reeking mess on a quick trip down a long pipe. I want to summon rage on behalf of these poor girls, so obviously metastasizing scrote-sized tumors from the lethal dose of douche-rad emanating from the Cankers, but I just can't do it. This is the weekly: disgust is not enough.

I don't think I'm ready for Still Life. He has passed some cultural event horizon and entered into a directionless non-space of 'bagdom that challenges every assumption I hold as a reference point. Is he real or ironic? Is that an actual place he is standing in or some blasted wasteland that lies beyond time and consciousness? What is he wearing and what does it mean? Even his hott defies description. Still Life surpasses me, and I can't render judgment without at least three hits of acid, which I don't have on me right now.

I'm going with Argyle. I want to punch this sneering, posing bitch-scrote right in the face with a fire extinguisher. Get your tainted claws off the delicate, clinging fabric of her skin-tight frock, you inbred prep-school salamander. I would cook her breakfast on my flushed, overheated thighs as I tenderly licked her boots.
 

Still Life FTW.
There is something that is so creepy about it. The empty beer, the security geek and WTF is that thing on his arm?
 

I was all ready to vote for Argylebag - simply because that hot chick is WAY hott in a real way, no phoniness - but I think he's just a lame-ass prep school stage 1 douche spending his trust fund money on velvet jackets and expensive dinners to score some high class tail.

Has to be the Cankers. Upon further inspection, I have to say, yes, these chicks are uber-Bleethed but they actually look like they *could* have been hot not that long ago. Yes, they are too far gone and even sharing the same room with them would require a spraying of Bactine, but you can see the ghost of hottness past if you inspect closely.

Cankers FTW!
 

Preppy Bag FTW. He looks like the kinda guy from CT whose dad runs a hedge fund and he's got life on easy street.

Nadja makes my turgid submarine surface like the USS Dallas getting chased by a torpedo. She's already got that Downs' syndrome-drunk glassy look, which means she's probably willing to let my sub park in her brown cave.

Hey, I'm just here to serve my country.
 

preppy bag hands down. or up with a sideways peace sign.
 

my vote goes for preppy. his hotty is HOT-T-T. i couldn't give a crap about those other hotties, but she's hot. if i saw her with him i'd think, "he's a fucking douchebag". but, those other guys, i'd just think, "what fucking losers"...in fact, i wouldn't even be looking because the hotties aren't actually hot.
 

I have to go Canker Twins. Think about it, bad hair, multiple hand gestures, a random pud in the background.

And let's face it, the poor hotts might be Bleethed, but a good flea and tick shampoo, a few shots, and some love, and you can easily turn a stray hott into a companion who will love you for...No. You know what? They're beyond hope.
 

Still Life FTW.

But, take a look at the Canker on the right. Haven't we seen that look before? Yes, it's the Triple G. The Glazed Gator Gaze.
 

Still Life for life!!
 

Still life still hurts my eyes. I also think his date has a dick...yikes! Is this a Prison Prom? FTW
 

@cheezeeporn

That was beautiful. Diane Arbus did take this picture. I don't care that she's dead. She did. Full stop.

Having SLWCL win would elevate this contest beyond slapstick onto a new plane of cultural hermeneutics. I am still astounded at the complexity of themes in that picture. The fact that it is an accident makes me think of the hand of god. It is as if some greater force came down for us to make this perfect signpost pointing at the inevitable void of the future.
 

Heading into the weekly I was for some reason really worried you were going to overlook the Canker Twins, DB1.

Thank god they're here as this is one is no contest.

I feel really bad for everyone genuinely involved in the rockabilly/punk scene who is now having their cultural significance completely hijacked by the hardcore bleeths and scrotes depicted in this ungodly scene.

Cankers, FTW.
 

My vote goes to Preppy. The hott-douche mixture achieves some kind of equilibrium that the others don't have.
 

Canker twins.

It really is that simple.
 

Canker twins.

It really is that simple.
 

RE: Above Comments --

Since they're twins, can I vote twice?
 

Preppy Bag for one reason and one reason only. Doubtful we'll ever have a chance for another legless douche of the week! Anyone with the ability to hover, years ahead of the release of said technology, is obviously a hover-hog and therefore a DOUCHE.
 

Canker Twins. Though the hotts are anything but, the level of douche to which these two douches have risen nullifies the lack of hott, leaving us with merely douche.

~Douchesquire
 

still life, no question. i've never voted for a photo due to composition before, but damn if I'm not this time. security guard and half-empty coors light box ftw!
 

well I can't vote for Argylebag since he is often seen pictured on myspace with your latest "future ex-wife" .. so I think I'll be artsy and vote for the minimalist
"Still life with Coors Light!" .. wtf the title alone is pure poetry!
 

Truly a difficult week as none of these pics represents the ideal HCWDB dichotomy.
Preppy is not douchie enough, but it still pisses me off that he's with that minx. Couldn't he have just stuck out the pinky a little more? Just a few more points could have landed him the win.
Coors on the planet Mars is an uber-douche, transcending both time and space. I just can't stop looking at that "thing" dripping onto his leg. I know were supposed to pretend its not there, but my imagination is just not that good.
So for the win, I have to go with the HSV twins. The guys are obviously Turbo douches and the girls....eeh.. I would.. followed by a bath in phisohex and shot of penicillin in the ass.
 

The twins are just sickening and easily the douchiest of the pack, but the skanks they're with make me vomit in my mouth.

Argyle is mere an apprentice douche who should be thrown back in the water and held under until he drowns. And I fully agree with cheezeeporn that his hott definitely looks like an irriting cocktease.

Since no one appreciates a passable pre-op more than me (except perhaps for Eddie Murphy, Hugh Grant, and Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)), and because the sheer surrealism of the photo amuses me so much, I vote Still Life for the win.

You gotta give just a smidgen of respect to a douche who cops his look from "Leningrad Cowboys".

http://www.leningradcowboys.fi/main.site?action=siteupdate/view&id=6
 

Coors Light... it's such a good picture it almost looks staged.
 

How can you not vote for the Canker Twins?

Parallel lines drawn into a scalp with such attention that Euclid would be jealous. Chin pubes that make hotts who have the bad judgment to kiss them wonder what insect is crawling on her face. Faux hawk gelled high enough to make Shaquille O'Neal wave his hand to drive away the poo smell. Inscrutable hand gesture. Utter poo.

Times two.

And as we all know from Math Analysis, two times utter poo = infini-poo.
 

I have to give it to Coors Light. Bedazzling your own vest in senior home-economics gets a well-deserved ass kicking. Aside from the excellent composition of the photo, this dude is so into himself he doesn't realize 1. Somebody's been tapping his Coors and 2. This 'chick' is going to be tapping him from behind.

So it's a reach-around for the win....
 

Coors
 

So, without much thought, I have go with Still Life for the victory.

The Canker Twins do kinda scare the hell out of me, especially the homeboy on the right. The blue contacts frighten me and the fauxhawk makes me laugh. So between my laughter and fright, I can barely think straight. The fact that these two MENSA candidates have the same hair makes me question life. However these girlies here, meh... I prefer to not go for girls that look like lizards, but that's just me.

Preppy Bag, honestly, he can do whatever the hell he wants. Look at that girl, the brilliance of Scandinavian girls is hereby affirmed. If he wants to rock a sweater-vest and a velour coat and ends up with this 9.9999, then rock on son.<