HJBBAD has a sidekick!?
 

drugs are good...drugs are good...
 

First of all, these people look to be in high school and therefore may not know what they do. Second of all, the guy just looks like he is messing around. I give him the benefit of the doubt. Chick is pretty hot though for a potential minor.
 

A beginner faux 'hawk, a t-shirt with a dumbass expression.....a FACE with a dumbass expression, a hand sign, and the partially exposed belt.

Oh yeah, and the sweet fluorescent armbands he got at the all-ages show the previous evening to show "Hey, I got into a club last night!"

Scrote.
 

Weekend at Douchies.
 

Ferris Douchies Day Off
 

"...Long Island Hott is the best hostess at Flingers since Jennifer Aniston quit."

Yeah. Aniston quit so she could start planning her wedding to John Mayer. They deserve each other.
 

Meh. Anyone can buy that shirt at Urban Outfitters, its meant to be a joke. And simply having the camera take your picture when your eyes are closed doesnt really make you a douche. And the fact he is most assuredly hammered also helps his case. This pic alone doesnt sell me on any real douchosity.
 

@massa-douchettes: ha ha. that's exactly what I thought. in fact, i wonder if HJBBAD is now putting on bullshit seminars on how to get laid, just like Mystery. this choad here was probably his first student, and HJBBAD gave him this shirt at graduation. but unlike HJBBAD, this guy is still a rookie, cause it looks like He Just Stumbles Around and Passes Out.
 

Hahaha.... this poor scroting machine looks like he is having a Red Bull/Grey Goose combo enema.
 

@douchey mcdouche
--agreed. I deny bag status here due to facial expression that clearly acknowledges potential doucheality but does not objectively own doucheality, coupled with the expertly applied metal sign/drink hold and topped off with excessively "urban themed" t-shirt meant to post-ironically over-emphasize said non-bag's whiteness.


Or he's just trying not to barf and umm...spooworthy quartet of tanned legs, points off for no boobage, side or otherwise.
 

fancy purse, short skirt dreamsicle!
 

Thinking she is more Bleeth than he Douche. Looking at the two I would most likely mash her in the face with a dock piling before him.

Then I would mash him, and a few others, me like mash!

thoughts?
 

I think MoFo will never qualify for douche status, because he's simply a clown. No matter how hard he tries, he will never be cool, and he will never be baggificated enough to call himself scrote.

However, that hott is so hott I would do a low belly crawl over 12 miles of broken glass just to sniff the tracks of the tires of the truck that carried her old gym shorts to the Goodwill.

In fact, I am amazed at how quickly I am able to type all of this with one hand....
 

Bag Gates - He's the guy she'll regret sleeping with and her friends won't let her forget it!
 

This chick has "date rape me" written all over her.
 

MoMo's not even stage one yet, who the F buys clear plastic cups? They aren't red, or Solo. Hott's a spinner fo sure. She'll do anything to impress the rest of the senior class.
 

Buying a shirt at Urban Outfitters to show how ironic and cool you are = douche.
 

You beat me to it, Mr. White! We're in the post-ironic tee era now. The joker has now become the jokee. And by jokee, I mean total d-bag.
 

@mr. white and anon

I drink, er, stand corrected.
Still...move your purse.
 

Sorry, when I said purse I meant handbag. Or.. air filter? WTF is that--
mkay back to drinky
 

It might have been noted earlier and I think it needs to be addressed ASAP: anytime I see a cell phone attached to a belt, and the guy isnt a construction supervisor or something like that, it is AUTOMATIC bag status. It screams "please ring, so people can see and hear it ring, and then let them hear my conversation." It is the bling of the bag that cant afford bling. Rednecks can morph into bags, as can drug-dealers and geeks.

Look, his pants have pockets. That is what pockets were made for, The Price is Right Bag. Thats right, a big loud dumbass shirt that my grandma wore when she attended the Price is Right.
 

now that is the product of anal sex.
 

This guy is a DOUCHE. Here's why...

1) Combed his hair with a pack of firecrackers
2) Stupid shirt
3) Wrist bands
4) Necklace
5) Hand gesture
6) Facial expression
7) Tattoo on right forearm
8) Partially exposed belt

This wasn't a Bag/Not A Bag picture, but it seems like some of you were treating it like that. This dude is a BAG. Total BAG.

Shit, EIGHT things that define DOUCHEBAG and there's a question???

And depending on what state you're in these girls aren't underage. If you need me to tell you about your local age of consent laws please e-mail me at: CreepyOldGuy@gmail.com
 

"Can ya believe I use to babysit this douchebag?"
 

Ouch. I sprained my douche.
 

Are they all on a hunger strike?
 

This pic is oozing with douchiness, only one person noticed the half sleeved of tribal tattoos on the same arm as the one throwing up the hand gesture!!! And I can picture the hotts boobies...im sure they are perfection like the rest of her.

P.S. The facial expression is more of a really douchie smirk, and he happened accidently closed his eyes. I think this bag knows exactly what he is doing, we may have struck gold without even knowing it.
 

Mo Money Mo Douchebags!!!!
 

Look closely at the drink in the clear cup on the right, are they drinking that purple drink? And why the fuck is there a white sheet hanging in the background? Confusing since he is sitting on one of those stages that the really slutty hotts get up on and dance on in the corner of the bars.

This guy has a shot at the weekly...I like the underdogs.
 

Martouf of the Tok'ra should really use the powers of his symbiote for good, and not just to try and get laid.
 

She's got that look of a drunk girl that's going to wake up sticky and confused.

What's with all the carbon fiber body replacements? First the carbon fiber skull, now she's holding his new carbon fiber shin.
 

Tat sleeve does put it over the edge.

I'm loving this froshy coed. I lover her smile. It says "I was just blowing you and stopped, took your cock out of my mouth, looked to your eyes and smiled to let you know how much I love doing this."

Thanks baby, now put the cock back in your mouth.
 

@darksock

Sam Kinison reference? I love it.
 

At first glance I said to myself "this poor scrote,I dont think he is a douche,too bad he is going to be mocked for the rest of his life" He looks like somebody that lost a bet and has to pay for it by getting his pic taken,hence the look of dissapointment on his face.Then my douche radar went off....judging by the dual wristbands and very young looking hott he is probably at some 18 and over to enter,21 and up to drink function.Bag hand gesture,Check.Mardi Gras beads,Check.T-shirt only a brother can get away with wearing but a honky is wearing anyways,Check.Sipping on a Shirley Temple and acting drunk to score with a drunk chick,Check.You my friend are a douche,young hottie is on the way to living the bleeth lifestyle.Please save yourself now whilst you can!!!!
 

This is what is known as "sleep douching".
 

use caution, do not wake the sleeping douche.
 

When you blow up the picture, you can see that MoFo is also rockin the nose ring
 

@ Mr. White:

Actually, no, but I googled it and damn if he didn't beat me to it. Damn you, Sam!

If I'm going to think parallel to dead stand-up comics, I'd prefer Mitch Hedberg, but hey, Sam was no slouch either...
 

My first instinct was "No bag" status, but then I quit wanking the noodle to "Perfect tongue, jizzbucket hott" and began looking closer.

MC 900 foot douchebag has made the case quite clear. he has to be a bag, a large bag, possibly a stage 3 bag. Teetering on the edge of either full-blown, Stage 4 devil-bag, or moving to Amsterdam and turning Eurobag.

Then of course, I returned my "attention" to PTJB hott. She is quite clearly pointing to the reason she is with this Uber-bag. Money. Clearly he is on the line to pay for her "Training sessions" with Sven the nordic personal trainer who specializes in home training. you know the sessions that end up with her crying to the police how Sven violated her in every way, and never even gave her the diamond necklace she deserves for blowing him, his friends, and her second cousin, who just happened to walk in.

With all that said, I would wade through a lake of whale secretions to lick the sole of the shoe on the landscaper that peers through her window while she tries on bikini tops.
 

This is some amazing Hott
 

Actually, this is Spring Break. That explains the wrist bands=getting all-you-can-drink access at the bars, and the beads. I was there, believe me. And the tat, it's a 3/4 Japanese windbar sleeve. He's a rocker-skater kid, hence the Urban shirt, total opposite of some "frat-bro-douche" guy. And the bar was 21 and up so he's not underage.

There's no comparison to any of the other so-called "douches" on this site. But to make you all happy, I bet he has racing stripes in his underwear. This is a hater-wannabe site right?!
 

She might go to Central Michigan, hard to tell though.
 

This bag's got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.

I don't care if you can get that shirt at Urban Outfitters, it's still douchey.
 

Wow that comment about him being a "rocker-skater" guy and having a "japanese windbar tatoo on 3/4 of his arm" just makes him that much more douchier