Looks like they invited their cabbie Ahmed for a drink, or this is this douches art show displaying authentic proles. EIther way they're patronizing assholes, haven't these idiots read the Great Gatsby
 

Look! It's Jordan Knight! I didn't know he was actually showing his face in public anymore. That hand gesture shows that he just recently cut off his penis after realizing who he looked like. And I'm not sure if brunette is trying to give him head or is just at the wrong place at the wrong time. The blond hott is very nice, if not slightly inebriated. But who ever held that against a girl?
 

oh my god thats my high school literature teacher mark ajluni!!!
 

Die.
 

He is playing rock-paper-scissors with himself. Very hot. I wonder if he won this round.
 

The middle eastern gentleman in the back must have a huge hog. It stretches all the way across "I wanna meet Hef" hott, and "I was an extra in 10 things I hate about you" douche, to get that fine thing in the blue dress right in her rump. Good show, Ahmed.
 

he's using his douche powers to lure this beautifully dumb victim to his douche quarters back at hogwarts...he better hurry before his driver pulls the pin!!!
 

"Watch my imitation of Moe from the Three Stooges, babe"
 

Sweet sassy molassy, that chick is heat. I would put her in a homemade dungeon and supply her with lotion regularly. Heh heh, just fooling.

/I've said too much
 

Does the hand gesture tell us how many roofies it's gonna take to get her in and out of the Kennedy Compound....sans memory?
 

ooohhh I like her, she looks like shes blond all over.
He looks like one of the back door boys.
Doesn't hold a candle to some of the other bags, However he is a special kinda douche.
Turadacious
 

@anon 4:45
Yes. A safe bet.
The general rule of thumb re:scandinavian au pairs is that the carpet will match the drapes.
 

Sorry Allah,

I think the shoebomber behind her just burned his Kuran and said "now that's the shit"
 

actually, i think that that was one of your more down to earth fantasies
 

Actually, his name is Dugash Alimi and he is on a student visa from Albania. This is the international students' end of the semester party in Hollow Hills Community College in West Virginia. He lied to Anna (the Danish hott) claiming to be the son of the Prime Minister Sali Berisha and that Abdul in the back is his secret bodyguard.

That's my fantasy, at least.
 

A shirt, an argyle sweater, and a velvet blazer.

What, you couldn't fit a turtleneck shirt underneath to complete the fully layered look?

Amateur.
 

Poor Ahmed is probably wondering why he ever came to this country. A place where pathetic douches like Argyle get Scandi hotts while immigrants like himself, armed with PhDs in engineering, end up driving douched-up socialites in limos to 18+ dance clubs.

Argyle looks like he has a little hottie smoking his hog.

As for her, I'd give my left testicle and donate my hair, follicle by follicle, to Woody Harrelson just for the chance to remove a splinter from her dog's paw with my teeth.
 

That's my fantasy too.
Only not.
 

Looks like that douche Bill Rancic from one of those Apprentice shows. Was it the first?

Why was Bill a douche? He wanted to be a businessman and then all you heard about was him trying to be on TV.

Reality show people are all douches. This guy is a douche. This girl is too stupid to realize he's a douche and I wanna use a flame thrower to kill everyone in this room.

But, that's my fantasy.
 

Am I the only one that notices this douche has no legs and is clearly hovering in mid air? All while receiving a blow-me from brunette probably hott?

Blondie's not wearing panties... or atleast that's how I like to picture it.
 

Let's not fail to recognize when we see preppy or classic looks off the racks of Express.

$29.99 is right.
 

This is my first foray into douchedom...and I all I got is..WOW! What fun! Douchebashing has something for everyone!!
 

holy shit JirafaDouche's right! Where the freakin hell are that prep-douche's legs???
 

Wish I was getting serviced properly like Sweater Douche is by the brunette..slurp, smack, gulp
 

Good Lord, the joke is on him. Can't you all see the hopelessly drunk and chubby semi-hott behind him? That is the look of "the I just burned a hole in your new velvet jacket," with my pack of Camel Menthol Lights that you bought me, dumbass, kinda look.
 

"so what if I'm preppy, I've fucked more models than bulimia."
 

The chick behind him is taking a dump right there due to the 'bag status seen before us. The doctor from 'Heroes' is waiting to analyze the specimen.
And the gray matter hott with the miniskirt I would like to have sewn myself is offering her wallet to the brunette infront of her as compensation to 'get me the hell outta here' while looking inconspicuous to the Van Wilder's Richar Bag douche. Cheers Richard Bag douche! Cheers!
 

She is smokin'.
 

I'd let Shaggy eat all the Scooby Snacks just for the chance to get my nose in her scent.
Zoinks.
 

BOING!!!.....(heh heh)
 

i own a velvet blazer. does that mean i'm a Stage 1 douchebag?

she's got drunk-face. but that's fine. not an innocent girl either. you don't rock a dress like that unless you're looking for attention.

and by 'attention', i mean 'walk of shame'.
 

Once you make it with a man with no legs you never go back baby!
 

@ pfah,
depends, do you have legs?

She's got a mischevious grin too, and by mischevious I mean 'take it up the ballon knot'.
 

He's about to blind her with his finishing move, the dreaded 3 stooges' twin Curly poke.

I'd do a twin curly poke on her, but it would be about 2 feet lower...
 

@pfah

regarding your question:

"i own a velvet blazer. does that mean i'm a Stage 1 douchebag?"

a quick checklist...

1. do you wear said blazer with an argyle sweater vest?

2. are you rockin a greased up fauxhawk?

3. do you make sideways "i-just-dropped-my-cigarette" peace signs?

and finally,

4. are you a trust fund thousandairre?

if you answered yes to any of these questions, then you...


aw, fu*k it. you'd get a pass anyway.
 

@steve douchemi....yes. in fact, i have 3 legs.

@johnny scrotten....i can honestly answer 'NO' to all of your questions. i do have a soul patch though.


oh dear.
 

@pfah

I'm giving a concerned look over the soul patch....

I actually own argyle socks. I wear button down socks underneath them and then velvet socks over them. Does that make me a douchebag?

I'm digging Ingrid and would warm my penis by the fire of her raging STDs.
 

let's not forget the key component for douchehood:

complete lack of any self-awareness

this choad for example:

before he went out he did not look in the mirror and ask " does this stupid?"

no, he looked and said:
"damn, this shit is hot! yo toni! check me out!"


just sayin'....
 

I wear tight black argyle socks. Only one sock, actually. A black one. But not on my foot.
 

douche gang sign... again...
 

Morrisey tribute singer douche.
 

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Ingrid the Au Pair likes to snuggle up to Fauxhawk Douche, because he reminds her of her favorite book as a child: "The Velveteen Douchebag."