Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Punctured Balloon
When I was six years old, Jeremy punctured my balloon at the kindergarten fair. It deflated into a saggy, wrinkled piece of rubber. And I cried.
Alas, all these years later, my childhood trauma at the kindergarten fair, reflected in a deflated douche nipple. Very traumatic.
Put on a shirt, Balloon Douche. You're scarring our collective psyche all over again.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:51 AM 
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Maybe he could blow into his thumb and re-inflate... just like in the cartoons.
- D. Smurf
- D. Smurf
# posted by 
: 8:56 AM
: 8:56 AM
if you want to call him on his Doucheberry that hangs precariously from his pants, just dial 1.888.BOOB.SAG.
and to make matters worse, it's pierced. gross.
she's got a rockin' body, but her face reminds me of Andre the Giant for some reason.
and to make matters worse, it's pierced. gross.
she's got a rockin' body, but her face reminds me of Andre the Giant for some reason.
Oh I see what happened... nipple ring went a little too deep.
Also is Balloon Animal blind? Those shades are huge. Is that a tapping cane he's holding behind her?
Jewish Princess in Yee Haw hat looks pretty good.... but not quite good enough for the smug smirk.
- D.S.
Also is Balloon Animal blind? Those shades are huge. Is that a tapping cane he's holding behind her?
Jewish Princess in Yee Haw hat looks pretty good.... but not quite good enough for the smug smirk.
- D.S.
# posted by : 9:01 AM
: 9:01 AM
he has an iPhone like me, i'm so throwing it away now, fuck...
~ifionlyhadadouche
~ifionlyhadadouche
# posted by : 9:02 AM
: 9:02 AM
she's got a rockin' body, but her face reminds me of Andre the Giant for some reason.
Really? I think it's just the oddly pert angle of her gaze. Frankly, I'd hit that so hard that whoever pulled me out would be King of England.
Really? I think it's just the oddly pert angle of her gaze. Frankly, I'd hit that so hard that whoever pulled me out would be King of England.
PFWWEEEEEEEEEEERRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW
PHLLLLWAAAAHHH!!!
at least that's what i think the sound a balloon makes as it slowly and loudly deflates.
PHLLLLWAAAAHHH!!!
at least that's what i think the sound a balloon makes as it slowly and loudly deflates.
Maybe that's just a very heavy nipple ring? Nah. It looks like more that his nipple has deflated; dude has a pacemaker on his cock.
This is that same squat oiled tool that was on HCwDB a few months ago on the boat with the big hardbody blonde that everyone called "tranny". He had a "I dotta doody my pants" look on his face then, and he still looks like he's trying to unsuccessfully squelch a shart. Trade the olean chips in for some bran, dude.
In other disturbing self-tanning Prompa news, do NOT go
here
You were warned. I'm not paying for any new monitors.
This is that same squat oiled tool that was on HCwDB a few months ago on the boat with the big hardbody blonde that everyone called "tranny". He had a "I dotta doody my pants" look on his face then, and he still looks like he's trying to unsuccessfully squelch a shart. Trade the olean chips in for some bran, dude.
In other disturbing self-tanning Prompa news, do NOT go
here
You were warned. I'm not paying for any new monitors.
The deflation was obviously caused by her enormous schnozz lowering the surrounding air pressure.
Is that an iphone or a colostomy bag meter?
Is that an iphone or a colostomy bag meter?
# posted by : 9:15 AM
: 9:15 AM
"So you want a nipple ring"
"Yeah, just stick through the part that looks like a garbage bag half filled with water."
"You mean the part that looks like the bag those gold fish come in that you win at carnivals?"
"Yes, that's right, the part that, if I removed it, could be used as a graft for a burn victim"
"Or a replacement for a labia."
"Yes, that part...please. Hold on, I'm getting a call, let me reach for my sweet belt clip....cool."
"Yeah, just stick through the part that looks like a garbage bag half filled with water."
"You mean the part that looks like the bag those gold fish come in that you win at carnivals?"
"Yes, that's right, the part that, if I removed it, could be used as a graft for a burn victim"
"Or a replacement for a labia."
"Yes, that part...please. Hold on, I'm getting a call, let me reach for my sweet belt clip....cool."
@darksock
good find.
and by good, i mean poo. literally.
my monitor is ok, though. i hung a toilet puck on it, so it smells fresh as a daisy.
a daisy plucked from oprah's ass.
good find.
and by good, i mean poo. literally.
my monitor is ok, though. i hung a toilet puck on it, so it smells fresh as a daisy.
a daisy plucked from oprah's ass.
in a few short days we've gone from bea arthur's labia to her breast. i never knew she had a piercing pfah. extreme.
darksock where the hell did you find that picture? there goes my accidental over-tanning theory. it's obvious they do that on a regular basis. disgusting
darksock where the hell did you find that picture? there goes my accidental over-tanning theory. it's obvious they do that on a regular basis. disgusting
"In other disturbing self-tanning Prompa news, do NOT go
here"
The one on the left is truly frightening. I think I saw his father at the Arkansas State Fair freak show when I was six.
here"
The one on the left is truly frightening. I think I saw his father at the Arkansas State Fair freak show when I was six.
# posted by : 9:21 AM
: 9:21 AM
Both of these people had their implants removed.
BTW Darksock, I think your link is bad. I clicked on it and my screen just went orange.
BTW Darksock, I think your link is bad. I clicked on it and my screen just went orange.
@darksock.....my monitor is fine, but i shit myself from laughing so hard.
@bcs....thanks dude. you have to go and mention Bea. not only do i smell like shit, i now have an I.O.B.
@bcs....thanks dude. you have to go and mention Bea. not only do i smell like shit, i now have an I.O.B.
he uses the same hair gel as Mary!!
http://image.guim.co.uk/Guardian/arts/gallery/2007/jul/22/comedy.films/something_mary_pr-9609.jpg
http://image.guim.co.uk/Guardian/arts/gallery/2007/jul/22/comedy.films/something_mary_pr-9609.jpg
# posted by : 9:34 AM
: 9:34 AM
This is what happens when you graft your ball sack onto your chest.
Why would you fucking take off your shirt if you were sporting manmaries like these?
Why would you fucking take off your shirt if you were sporting manmaries like these?
@Darksock.... Awesome... Prompa and Krush kicking it Ed Hardy style... speaking of which I wonder what the old man thinks about his shit becoming the go too brand for inner city youth and Douchebags? The Ed Hardy brand became exactly what Von Dutch did... that is to say you have two respected artists who became a brand and who's merchandise is snapped up by kids who don't even know who they are/were or what they were/are about.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 10:07 AM
: 10:07 AM
Normally the big nose would turn me off, but I really like this chick. I think it's the cowboy hat and bikini combo. Also, the strong likelihood of a completely shaved pussy.
I wouldn't kick her out of bed. There's just something, off, about her. Yet, still, I pity the both of them. This is their peak performance.
# posted by : 10:11 AM
: 10:11 AM
Its almost as if Brad Pitt's, and Angelina's siblings got together and went on a package vacation. She's ok, about a 7.67, definitly do-able, but, he completely outdouches her hottness, between that and the Cock-berry on his waist, I wonder if I could jam a margarita glass up his nose, wide end first. We'll see this guy in the weekly, methinks
'Ol Bagnanimous
'Ol Bagnanimous
# posted by : 10:12 AM
: 10:12 AM
The guy on the right on darksock's picture is wearing the same shirt as Carlos in today's submissions, only it's black. This Ed Hardy fella must be popular with douchebags.
# posted by : 10:12 AM
: 10:12 AM
I really like his wheatstalks and his oversized bleeth blockers and his silver dangly bling and his "I'm 42 and I'm all pumped up except for my tit" and his don johnson shadow and his big wrist clock... and by those things I mean douche.
That's not an iPhone, it's a Palm III with extra stylus located in his drink. He got it back in '97 when he 1st went blind. She is there for her sense of smell to make sure he wiped his ass properly by smelling his fingers. How is this allowed to go in ?? Please, someone should beat his ass.
# posted by : 10:22 AM
: 10:22 AM
This choad was first discovered on August 7, 2007. AKA "Under the Spreading Chestnut Tree"
# posted by : 10:32 AM
: 10:32 AM
Reminds me of those guys you see on Discovery Health Channel who were born without a pectoral muscle and try to make up for it by overdoing it at the gym.
If it is a birth defect, I almost could feel sorry for him ... if he weren't so douchey.
Could be my monitor, but she needs to watch out -- she's trending toward the orange.
If it is a birth defect, I almost could feel sorry for him ... if he weren't so douchey.
Could be my monitor, but she needs to watch out -- she's trending toward the orange.
# posted by : 10:48 AM
: 10:48 AM
Where, Oh where have my pes muscles gone?
Oh, where, oh where can they beeeeeeeee?
I'd push in her poo, thats about all.
~Douchesquire
Oh, where, oh where can they beeeeeeeee?
I'd push in her poo, thats about all.
~Douchesquire
# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM
Wow he's ready for his own feature in National Geographic
home of bush tribe flapjack teets
she's a funky little Jewish Princess with over worked gums who sqeaks she comes la la la
home of bush tribe flapjack teets
she's a funky little Jewish Princess with over worked gums who sqeaks she comes la la la
# posted by : 11:01 AM
: 11:01 AM
I'm with old bag eyes. I'd suckle this dudes deflated nip just for the chance to peek at her kitty cat.
Oh, and then she'd ride me reverse cowgirl style of course.
Oh, and then she'd ride me reverse cowgirl style of course.
# posted by : 11:01 AM
: 11:01 AM
@old bag eyes....same thing I thought. I saw this guy, and immediatly flashed back to 9 yrs old, walking up to my 74 yr old grandpa, who was gardening in his boxers, and watching him take the "catcher's position" and have his ballsack slip out.
The Don King hairdon't is making a comeback. Can't say the same for gramps' pec.
She makes me think of ALF for some reason. Just can't quite put my finger on it. By on it, I mean in it. I'd still bang her like a loose shutter in a hurricane.
bucket of balls
She makes me think of ALF for some reason. Just can't quite put my finger on it. By on it, I mean in it. I'd still bang her like a loose shutter in a hurricane.
bucket of balls
# posted by : 11:57 AM
: 11:57 AM
This dude was on here before...most polluted couple for the douchies last year maybe??
# posted by : 12:02 PM
: 12:02 PM
A MILF I boned on a bender a couple months back has perkier tits than this jerkwad.
Lesson to future greasewanks: When compiling your next roid-stack, be sure to include "anti-bitch tits" medicine in there, so you don't end up looking like this saggy scrote.
-Douchetastic
Lesson to future greasewanks: When compiling your next roid-stack, be sure to include "anti-bitch tits" medicine in there, so you don't end up looking like this saggy scrote.
-Douchetastic
# posted by : 12:30 PM
: 12:30 PM
This could be a douchetastic job of photoshopping. Looks to me like the head of Kato Kaelin has been carefully attached to the body of 60-year old Nature Boy Ric Flair.
# posted by : 12:33 PM
: 12:33 PM
ANY GOOD AUTOMOTIVE TECHNICIAN WILL TELL YOU THAT ON CERTAIN LINCOLNS, ONE MUST FIRST TURN OFF THE AIR RIDE SYSTEM BEFORE LIFTING THE WHEELS OFF OF THE GROUND. FAILURE TO DO SO WILL RESULT IN THE AIR BAGS TEARING NEAR THE BUSHING LOCATED AT THE TOP OF THE AIRBAG. THE RESULTING LEAK WILL CAUSE THE AIRBAG TO DEFLATE, CAUSING A ROUGH RIDE AND AN UNSIGHTLY "GHETTO" LOW-RIDER LOOK. REPAIRS CAN BE COSTLY. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE A DOUCHEBAG AND YOU THINK THAT SORT OF THING LOOKS COOL.
REALMENWEARPANTIESTOO
REALMENWEARPANTIESTOO
# posted by : 12:44 PM
: 12:44 PM
Good God - this fuckbag ages worse than tunafish in a trashcan. Maybe he should use those sweet shades as a brassiere for his saggy manmams. Or at least that's what DB1 should have photoshopped prior posting this ass morsel of a pic. Disgusting.
In other news, I would fuck her but wouldn't write home about it.
But I would write here about it. A paragraph or two at most....
Scrote Von Douchemarck
In other news, I would fuck her but wouldn't write home about it.
But I would write here about it. A paragraph or two at most....
Scrote Von Douchemarck
# posted by : 1:09 PM
: 1:09 PM
I need a strong drink to wash the stomach acid taste out of my mouth.
Looks like someone needs a tit lift and a nose job for the hott. Maybe this is their pre-op celebration?
Looks like someone needs a tit lift and a nose job for the hott. Maybe this is their pre-op celebration?
# posted by : 1:51 PM
: 1:51 PM
There is nothing wrong with enjoying a cool tasty beverage lounging poolside all easy like Sunday morning with your hott girl. Unless you're flexing on muthafuckas with a deflated chest all the while wearing her sunglasses. Then you are this tool.
# posted by : 2:00 PM
: 2:00 PM
1. @ Darksock--- Dude WTF? I fell outta my damn chair.
2. Is that a rosary Cardinal Flabtit is wearing?
3. Isn't that the dude from "Just One Of The Guys"? You know, the chick that was crossin' to write an article for her high school paper, fell in love w/ the cat and then flashed him her righteous cans at the end? That was good cinema.
2. Is that a rosary Cardinal Flabtit is wearing?
3. Isn't that the dude from "Just One Of The Guys"? You know, the chick that was crossin' to write an article for her high school paper, fell in love w/ the cat and then flashed him her righteous cans at the end? That was good cinema.
# posted by : 3:04 PM
: 3:04 PM
Maybe he used to hang weights from his chest in the Jim Rose Circus until they threw him out for his Red Rooster hair.
# posted by : 3:46 PM
: 3:46 PM
when i saw this, i said "EWWW" out loud.
then my brother punched me in the chest.
then my brother punched me in the chest.
# posted by : 4:47 PM
: 4:47 PM
No, really...
What the hell happened to this guy's chest?
It looks like somebody whacked him with a transparent piece of lumber just as the picture was taken.
What the hell happened to this guy's chest?
It looks like somebody whacked him with a transparent piece of lumber just as the picture was taken.
# posted by : 6:01 PM
: 6:01 PM
Brad Pitt sure gone went waste.
@ darksock - "flood the club" with f*kin orange. Thanks for the migrane dude.
@ darksock - "flood the club" with f*kin orange. Thanks for the migrane dude.
# posted by : 7:07 PM
: 7:07 PM
UFO Destroyers,
Big ups my friend, this is the same gentleman (and I believe the same gentleman that Mr. Sock was talking about). Nice to see he's trading um, up?
However, my real thanks is for bringing me back to this picture, one of my all time favorites. I swear there needs to be a way to click a button and save all of my favorites on the website, so I can quickly glance back at Lei Hotties, HBT, Freshman homegirl there, man...
Big ups my friend, this is the same gentleman (and I believe the same gentleman that Mr. Sock was talking about). Nice to see he's trading um, up?
However, my real thanks is for bringing me back to this picture, one of my all time favorites. I swear there needs to be a way to click a button and save all of my favorites on the website, so I can quickly glance back at Lei Hotties, HBT, Freshman homegirl there, man...
why would u choose to cover ur eyes which are probably semi-normal but then leave that chest mess exposed. i just cant understand that. maybe thats wat separates me from the 'bag
I like the combination of a cowboy hat, big earrings, and a chocolate-colored bikini. Just about any girl can look sexy in that outfit. Even this boner-nosed chick.
-Mas N. Gill
-Mas N. Gill
# posted by : 8:46 PM
: 8:46 PM
While I'd go like Gonzo porn on this chick's body, her face reminds me of Gonzo from the Muppet Show! She needs a 20 gallon hat to slip over the rest of her face and "Fat Bastard-the weight loss era" needs to remember that not only are "carbs the enemy," but so are whistling and deflating, melted man-tits, gay Swatch watches, Amber vision old folks glasses, and "Something About Mary" dried jizz hair stylings...
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
# posted by : 9:00 PM
: 9:00 PM
his name is jared robert paulson he lost a ton of weight eating tasteless sandwiches but he still has bitch tits...
it looks like darksocks cock ring is stuck to an iud or a chromed cervical cap
that beak goes along with the line of the hat way too well
but bodywise i would project some mayhem on her
it looks like darksocks cock ring is stuck to an iud or a chromed cervical cap
that beak goes along with the line of the hat way too well
but bodywise i would project some mayhem on her
# posted by : 10:36 PM
: 10:36 PM
Holy shit! This dude is actually Coach McGuirk from Home Movies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjSCzC4R6gk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjSCzC4R6gk
# posted by : 10:56 PM
: 10:56 PM
no his pec implants broke and it left him like this til he can afford new ones
# posted by : 11:07 PM
: 11:07 PM
Bad credit - pec repoed. The Dynabol blues hits home. Flattydouche meets Mr. Ed's sister. Lookin' quite spiffy together. Will that be paper or plastic?
# posted by : 2:13 AM
: 2:13 AM
Isn't this douche an actor? Wasn't he on Baywatch or something? And as someone else already posted, the chick might be the one that screwed Spitzer. This is a meeting of Z-listers, all they need is Criss Angel to make The Perfect Storm.
# posted by : 8:43 AM
: 8:43 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with his chest. The reason it looks like that, however, is that he's flexing, which increases the douchosity by a factor of 10.
# posted by : 11:43 AM
: 11:43 AM
I remember this guy. It's one half of our HCwDB most polluted couple winner from last year. Not what I needed to see after a week of working.
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# posted by : 8:17 PM
: 8:17 PM << Home
