hottie is uber hott!
 

Surfer Kelly can use me as a board anyday...
 

stretch marks, muffin top, and turkey neck?

put a shirt on!
 

nice stretch marks
 

Former Astros relief pitcher Charlie Kerfeld has resurfaced.

C'mon H-Town, you know what I'm talkin' bout:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC2y3RmQUdw
 

This is sad, not pathetic. Tatts indicate Brah is a latin gangster w/ his harley glasses; Surfer Kelly is really just a trashy bar pro. Probably his niece, Esse. When I say sad, it's because he represents the future of all these gang bangers that think flashing gang signs is tough. If only he were pathetic lame-ass middle aged scrote. He's the real deal, and I want to cry.
 

Damn, he needs some Preparation-H.
 

Soon he will wake up from MANN-o-pause and say, "What was I THINKIN'?"

I mean, not that I would know firsthand or anything...
 

Never before have I been so bewildered by an an image posted on this site - this guy must be a WTF!? 'bag of the highest degree.

WTF!? 'Bag FTW...
 

holy-mother-of-what-the-fuck-do-you-call-sweet-jesus-..........

.......he, him, that guy, that, that, lump of douchedung, took his shirt off in public for a photo?!?!?!

the color on the ink is still strong, so odds are he thought the stomach tatt was a good idea AFTER he put on the Freshamn 40!!!!

kelly kelly kelly hott has a few hard miles on her as well, but i wouldn't mind working her speed bags.....

i smell a strong weekly candidate!
 

This HAS TO BE a Halloween picture. There is no way that this guy really "exists".

Wait... I just came to me...he's a Laker fan who lost a bet with his brother-in-law from Worcester. He is feeling even more humiliated than Pau Ga-soft. There can be no other explanation.
 

these young Hotts are still believers of flexing their high school status muscles by "hanging out with the older kids" as well as being into guys that daddy wouldn't. this guy has his bases covered! understanding and exploiting this now-legal-age phase is common Scrote practice. can't say i never took advantage of it myself.
i can't be upset about this guy - he's got major balls to look that lousy and still stand in front of a camera!!!
 

Wow. I have wrapping paper that is exactly the color and shading of her skirt. [Insert "unwrapping her" reference.] [Insert "unwrapping my own package' reference.]
 

This guy is the Anti-Douche.
If you were the average tatted up, bling sportin', scissor throwing DB
wouldn't seeing this guy force you to rethink your poor life choices?
And by rethink your por life choices
I mean put your toe on the trigger of a Remington 1100,
whilst sucking on the business end of it.

bucket of balls
 

"Aye, Papa!"
 

oh what i would do
to stand next to you, kelly
i would be that douche
 

DB1 - Book signing in LA!
 

Yes, Butterface would still get it with the lights on. Even though she'd probably request them off.

bucket of balls
 

If you will notice the stretch mark(s) on Unlucky Thirteen's side is ironically a bar graph which shows the growing obesity epidemic sweeping America.

I doubt this dude is fucking 40... he's probably just a gross late 20s to early 30 something. Which is sad. Because he looks like he pole vaulted right into his early 50s.

She's one of the hottest hotts in a loooong time. I'd love to help her skootch that mini down just another 3 inches.

Keep keeping it fo reals MC Hamburglar.

- Douchey Smurf
 

This guy has got to be in the running for some sort of year end Douchie or whatever you call them.

But I'm not overly impressed with surfer Kelly. She's cute and all but the side-boob view reveals the unmistakable hard, shaped perimeter of surgically enhanced boobies.

And surgically enhanced boobies suck.
 

HAHAHAHA

His stretch marks look like his ass is on fire. Why would she even touch him?
 

I saw this exact picture on a question about Cushing's Disease.
 

This looks like an "after" picture of 90% of the overly tatt'ed tewnty-something 'bags featured on this site.
Take a good look all of you 'bags - this is you in 10 years.
And THAT's why you get mocked.
And when you're forty and no longer bar-hopping and preening, and trying to hold a job and carry a mortgage, you'll still look like this, and the mocking will be that much more severe, and painful.
 

Funny. I always wondered what Richard Deacon would look like as a hoodrat.

Kudos to this bold, doughy fuck for letting it all hang out in public. You're a braver man than I. I, however, would have had the presence of mind to spend some of that 2K in tattoo money on some flames to cover my stretch marks. Live and learn, Pillsbury.
 

and lest we forget, I've seen tire fires burning in August that aren't as hot as Kelly.
 

Flaaaames
 

@BleethLVR905 - no way this guy is a "for real" Latin gangster. No fuckin' way. This guy plays World of Warcraft all night in his mother's mothball filled basement saving his allowance money to pay surgically enhanced bleeths to take pictures with him.
 

Holy shit, this bag is sporting stretch marks.
 

Since we're all friends, we can be truthful. This guy is one of us and he's mocking the bags in order to pull some Bleeth tail!

There's nobody in the fucking world that looks like this in real life. Look at the bad pants, bad ink, bad jewelry, hat (with star tribute to Bra!).

He's faking it just to suck on the lovely hip bone meets cute belly of this hott.

Tomorrow, he'll be mocking bags again with the rest of us and trying to get Kelly's taste out of his mouth.

A few regulars haven't posted in this thread yet, so who could it be?

My money is on Darksock.
 

This guy is to lack of self-awareness what Kelly is to effin' hot. I mean, hot like John Candy's balls would have been in the Bataan death march.

Flabulus Maximus needs to become a Mormon and put on some damn secret long johns; may the minions of Joseph Smith, Jr. mount their bikes and descend upon him like crows to the upturned eyes of the sullen dead.
 

ahhh, anon 3:50, but only if it could be me; I would be the snow chains to her Goodyear.
 

He actually makes me a bit queasy. Yucky man
 

There are many great douchey features to point out in this pic. However, I think the most disgusting part is his underwear wasteband. The fat has overcome the elastic weight load and is stretching it to a point of no return.
 

Egads. Hey, FATASS, nice stretch marks on your hams. Fatass. OMG, this guy is in denial to the highest degree. You don't look good, buddy. Act your age, not your penis size.

:(

o_0

D:
 

This is epic material. We haven't had a HOS inductee in a while and, on the merits of just this piece of work, I'm throwing all in for Droopy.

Seriously, this one is off the charts....
 

Damn, she's like a pleasure machine.
 

Gotta be one of the worst I've seen on this site. His extreme white-trash slash douchbag combo makes for one sorry sack of shit.

And the contrast: His stench beside her beauty, making the pic both revolting and inviting at the same damn time.
 

For Darksock:
I would Gropius her Holl and let her Philip my Johnson only after busting some Tadao on her Koolhaas. Yes, I know Philip preferred the Johnson himself, but fuck it, I prefer a Kohn Pederson Fox over a Mayne with a Bunshaft any day.
 

Looks like he got out of the Southern Culture of the Scrotes concert early and is posing with Kelly, the Hooters waitress across the street from the Mouse House.
 

good lord.

her body is ridiculous. what a playground.

$200 says his farts smell like wet egg salad sandwiches and week-old taco meat.



i just gagged. sorry.
 

Oy, is this ever disturbing.

Pillsbury Doucheboy looks like he's showing his 'electrician's crack'.

She is yummy, but I'm calling P2P on this one.
 

"Lucky 13" tattoo that looks like it was done when you were 13 judging by the keg you're wearing at the mid section along with camo boardshorts, Grease Chode? Really? Mike Ness would gut you like the filthy pig you are.
 

@crucial head....Mike Ness' shit is cooler than this guy.
 

As Solid Snake once said, "What the hell?!"

I'm not sure this guy is really a douche, so much as a quantum mechanical anomaly resulting in a strange physical manifestation combining elements of several alternate worlds into this illogical spectacle we see before us.
 

I need to drop a good 35 (At 6ft 4in, it's an issue, but I'm not like this lump...) and even still, I have better sense than appear in front of a camera sans shirt.

The douche/hott ratio in this picture is totally off the scale. Even with her fakey funbags, she's still a pretty girl. And he is one fat stupid fuck.

We got a contendah!!!!
 

@Pfah:
Amen. Selah.
 

That might be the most terrifying thing I've seen all day. Is that the future of legends such as Xenu and Bra, or will they never grow old, like vampires whose timelessness defies the ages?

I'm inclined to think the former.
 

@pfah:

"$200 says his farts smell like wet egg salad sandwiches and week-old taco meat."

Sweet jeebus, are you trying to anihilate us via disturbing images or what?

This guy is the reason the rest of the world loathes our culture.

Except for parts of eastern Europe. They're still watching Steve Guttenberg movies over there.
 

@anonymous 3:50...it mo' definitly aint me!
the day will come when I reveal myself and my Milfy wife to DB1....I'm freakin' 48, and, I don't look nuthin like that shit, and if I ever do, my wife has instructions to shoot me, as some one should do to this severely bloated Scrote...hey, that'd be a great punk band name....'Bloated 'Scrote', I'm going to write a song called that hehhehee!
 

Those aren't stretch marks, but a medical phenomenon known as "douchecretion". For men who are unfortunate enough to have caught the "mennocockal sepsis" strain of the douche virus, the virus attempts to escape the body through swelling of otherwise highly developed muscular tissue, causing unsightly tearing of the skin and great social humiliation for the carrier.
 

I think Droopy has a chance at the HOS. Who's with me?
 

Hey Rosie O'Donnell! Put your shirt on! Oh wait... oh dear.
 

.....?

(shakes head, logs off, throws computer monitor out window)
 

I would voluntarily look like him if I could throw the bone to the super hott on a nightly basis.
 

sweet stretch marks flubbo

tasty hipbone clevite, aqua-cans... may I use your tini-mini as a headband? don't bother taking it off, I'll just wiggle my head up there & I'll use your soul patch as a gas mask!
 

20 yr. old Douche, look into my crystal ball...

proof that tats deteriorate at nearly the same speed as the human body...but, we need some radio-carbon dating to put an exact number on this fossil.

...and yes, that tummy-to-hips conversion is almost as nice as Shakira...hers is not bad either.
 

Wow. Looking at this travesty makes me think that HCwDb has reached its logical conclusion. No new ground can be broken. This is as far as the concept can be taken.

But when I come back tomorrow, it will be so bittersweet to realize that I am wrong.
 

This is the perfect HCwDB storm wrapped in a grassy knoll of ridiculousness, with a side of train wreck.. Too many angles too many plot lines (aka stetch marks)... this photo simply has to have been doctored.
 

Man, Mr. Brett really let himself go after he got off crack. Hopefully with him back in Bad Religion he'll finally get back to his playing weight.

She is lovely.

That is all
 

say what you want about this choad, but 3 months after this picture was taken he's got 6-pack abs like you have never seen.

know how?












Billy Blanks Tae Bo, yo.

true story.
 

whatever, i'm kidding.

he's bigger than Jabba the Hutt now.
 

@anon 3:50...

it ain't me either. though i am 40-ish, a bit over my b.m.i. and have some tatts(nothing as garish as the tatts usually on display here), i still have the common sense god gave a flea to cover in the presence of such loveliness.


plus, i have no stretch marks.

or bling.
or glasses.
or tacky baseball caps.
or state fair baloon-pop rings.
(i would opt for the Foghat logo mirror)

and also no camo wear.
or red underoos.
or double chin.
or cellphone hand gesture.

and there's also no way i could possibly frown whilst standing next to her. hell, i'd probably look like i just won the powerball...
 

she pwns.
 

The disgusting Taco Bell meal I just ate is threatening to revisit me due to his stretch marks!!! Pasty, flabby stretch marked love handles?!?! With a Hott that is so perfectly, wonderfully tasty and delicious??? WHY, GOD????? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US???
 

Ali Gee Whizz...
 

stretch marks on love handles, what more can you say?
 

now i don't know if that is lewis black or ron jaworski but i can tell you this...they are lucky that basic cable has a dress code

seiously could this man be a victim of the old back door douche...that where she is such a prime bleeth that she has turned him from butch lesbolike prarie dog of the cubical graveyard into a tatted up reflection on her sexual history...
 

The polemics in play here are so strong its quite possible to use this image to split the atom
 

Of all that is unholy and putrid.
Mine eyes have seen the gory of the coming of the scrote.
 

speechless.. This pic is a natural birth control for women
 

You know how they say that you should hang out with fat, ugly people in order to make yourself look better?

Totally doesn't apply to Surfer Kelly. She'd make the hottest hott like nott hott.
 

yeesh... poor guy looks like 2 months ago he just decided to turn himself into a fat turdy piece of chode slop.

her boobies look like they are stretched as tight as his waistline.
 

jesus christ. i...

***violently vomits in office trash can***

well let's check out the comment threads...


$200 says his farts smell like wet egg salad sandwiches and week-old taco meat.

***violently vomits in office trash can***

mother of god make it stop!

well, let's see what's in the news...

Heidi and Spencer Tour Ed Hardy

Back in Los Angeles following a promotional trip to New York City, Heidi Montag and boyfriend Spencer Pratt looked the picture perfect couple as they toured the Ed Hardy Factory in Culver City with designer Christian Audigier and his son.

According to paparazzi on the scene, the Hills co-star lovers enjoyed a meal, looked over new designs, and were treated to a live performance by up and coming singer/dancer “Dejuan"� and his brother “Prince Sync”, who are making moves in the music industry and are backed by Heidi and Spencer.

***opens office window, kisses picture of wife, plummets to the sweet release of death***
 

Looks like a formative butt crack developing under Droopy's (dba Sal Monella) navel. The stretch marks indicate this HOS candidate is indeed full of festering scrote puss.

Somebody should lance that boil on his neck with a melon knife.

And while on melons, I must admit I've never fondled plastic ones, but for her I'm willing to suffer through it just once... well OK several times.

Even if I don't like the 'polymer feel' topside BIG DEAL! I'm positive I'd scream like a barbed wire bikini wax while clam digging in her Netherlands.
 

@ anon 3:50

i confess. that pix is really me.

i am a student at Savannah College of Art & Design and this is my senior project.

What I am trying to illustrate here is the subcuteaneous cultural construct in exisential american mass culture that has birthed a distorted illusory ideal of beauty, concurrent with rapid obesity, along with loss of objective observation due to the sublime hyper-stimulation of the id & superego by mass advertising and a culture of violence infused with brand self-identification, silcone implants & douche poo. i am quite proud of it.

i have titled it:
Holy Fuckin' Titties!!!

Thank you.
 

Ok, I think I have to photoshop this guy out of the picture, my god look at the definition on her...
 

OH MY GOD! My pregnant wife has less stretch marks than that assclown!

Shoo-in for HCWDB o' the week.
 

I never really wanted to see Lewis Black with his shirt off, but damn he pulls some tail.
 

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
 

i didn't just throw up a little, i threw up everywhere. this guys is everything that is wrong and nauseating about humanity. he's got the face of a 45 year old creepy uncle, and the body of a 21 year old frat douche who lives off of pizza and natty lite.
can he please be in the weekly?
 

This guy is HoS material - he is WAY WAY more of a bag than St Pat. And St Pat is one hell of a douche. Droopy here is just... well... just EVERYTHING. He's got it all and in the most awful way. If he was some 2% body fat roid monster then he'd be in a different league, but as he is, he's actually MORE of a douchebag by not being a musclebound idiot. And the fact that he's hanging with rockin' bod Lisa there, simply fulfils the essence of this site's mandate: hotchicks with douchebags. He is uberdeedooberdee douchious. And she is a major league bleeth. UGH. HoS. Immediate without question. And he wins the weekly. He might even win the monthly. This guy is Scrotimus Maximus.
 

how did darksock respond so quickly to the 3:50 anon??? the fix is in
 

For the love of god, its Grande mal Douche ! ! I think i posted on this before, but I don't see it, so what evv....

So, on first glance at this, this afterbirth-run-over-by-a-car, I lapsed briefly into Douchebag Fugue State, sometimes referred to as Choad Coma. This is a psychic defense mechanism that enables one to come to terms with the dark reality that these people are around us. Without this brief respite to re-work some neural pathways, the mind would simply dissolve, leaving the unfortunate victim in a vegetative state and therefore unable to see boobies.

Having returned from my blissful coma, I can consider this photo anew. [deep breath]

Yeah. OK. This turdblot is simultaneously the Shah, Emir, and Sultan of the most ghastly and malodorous crevasse at the lowest depths of the hellish Valley of Scrote. The mere thought of this droplet of buttcrack sweat by any sentient being is enough to lower the vibrational frequency of entire galaxies, causing mass lemming-like suicides. No ejecta due to prolonged and painful projectile vomiting by any known creature has ever been more vile. HoS material walkin'.

I stare at the light of the sideboob for blessed relief.
 

Good fucking christ.... where to begin... fuck it - i give up.
 

This picture is one of the signs that The End is near. Plus, 5 seconds after I looked at this picture, the sky became overcast and it started to rain blood.

May Xenu help us all.
 

I still cannot wrap my head around this pic. What series of events led to this moment? She's gotta be paid to pose.
 

Everything we've been told is lies.
 

I've been trying to scratch this image out of my retinas, but I cannot. Therefore, perhaps solving this 'bag's identity will help in some unknown fashion.

He's the fat guy from 3rd Bass.....





And yes, that's Rollins in there as Vanilla Ice.
 

Ah yes the old stretch mark tattoo. Seen it used many times in that situation.
 

Anon 12:22 PM -

You've got me. We all know it's impossible to type 19 words in the span of 120 seconds. I'm busted.
 

Note to Rollerpig #13...Your "fly" safety goggles are "whack" yo and those Roseanne-esque stretchies are fucking sick! No matter how many rings and tats mommy buys you, your as cool as all the other overweight , living with mom and daddy, cheesewiz sucking uberfloaters keeping it "real" on the mean streets of the OC...put a shirt on fatkid!
 

Surfer Girl Kelly is just so hot. I would slap the shit outta her.
 

Not sure is those are really stretch marks on his waist or just another lame tattoo. Either way douchness surronds him!