Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday Haiku

Boat choad flexes tatts,
Ubiquitous Red Cup knows,
Shark attack needed.

Corey Haim tat bag.
Asphyxiates with poo smell
Throat cut too shallow.

-- vacuum cleaner bagg

Douchey Prince Colwyn
Childhood memory ruined
Krull glaive once was cool

-- mitch meats

Hairline receding
Boat has A thirty year lease
Bald douche in eight months

-- Ragnar Danneskjöld

He found a townie
At his dad's cabin up north
Sailing Lake Flaccid

-- clementine of cappadoucha

What Tribe Would Have You
Bimbo Boat will Soon Sail,
Dont Cry Lost Sailor

-- douchenozzle

# posted by Douchebag1 @ 6:56 AM

Comments:

hard to look tough when
you are sporting kissy-face
and pastel plaid shorts

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:03 AM

A throwing star tatt
Why can't it be real, and sharp?
Lance this pus-filled douche

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:04 AM

yo! tattoo artist
i'll have a tribal number
14, off the wall

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:05 AM

Jersey shore weekends
Douche infiltrates, Hotts follow
Pisses off locals

# posted by

ScroteBob DouchePants : 7:07 AM

lisa kudrow hott
throw chicken leg douche over
row, row boat ashore

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:07 AM

Corey Haim tat bag.
Asphyxiates with poo smell
Throat cut too shallow.

# posted by

Vacuum Cleaner Bagg : 7:07 AM

Douchey Prince Colwyn
Childhood memory ruined
Krull glaive once was cool

# posted by

Mitch Meats : 7:08 AM

SS Douchebag sails
Through back bays, away from sea
Captain Choad sinks life

# posted by

Don Choadle : 7:12 AM

Hairline receding
Boat has A thirty year lease
Bald douche in eight months

# posted by

Ragnar Danneskjöld : 7:14 AM

Big arms tiny hands
Bad tats and slimy body
She must be roofied

# posted by

Douchehag : 7:14 AM

jaw of a baboon,
and cereal box tattoos,
a man does not make.

# posted by

pfah : 7:15 AM

He found a townie
At his dad's cabin up north
Sailing Lake Flaccid

# posted by

Clementine of Cappadoucha : 7:15 AM

@ ragnar danneskjöld -- awesome!

# posted by

Douchehag : 7:15 AM

@ ragnar danneskjöld -- awesome!

# posted by

Douchehag : 7:15 AM

blond needs to jump ship,
to my penis overboard,
choad can walk the plank.

# posted by

pfah : 7:17 AM

Douche, your grandpa called
He sees his cutoff golf pants
You are in trouble

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:18 AM

The blond on this boat
Glistens in the sun with grease
Let her float away

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:19 AM

Look at her sweet smile
She knows his dirty secret
He likes to be pegged

# posted by

Clementine of Cappadoucha : 7:19 AM

Scene from Lake Placid?
Right before the croc eats them?
I feel bad for croc

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:20 AM

Blind hott doesn't know
Douchebag simulates jack-off
Stroke on the Water

# posted by

Douche McAllister : 7:21 AM

Spiral tribal tat
Armband mark of the douchebag
More jawline then brain

# posted by

Hopscloud : 7:24 AM

it's tommy the tatt
he's sailing the seas of bleeth
goes over the falls

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:24 AM

He ran out of coin
Before left arm tatt was done
Just a lame outline

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:24 AM

What Tribe Would Have You
Bimbo Boat will Soon Sail,
Dont Cry Lost Sailor

# posted by

Douchenozzle : 7:25 AM

Johnny Scrotten busts
out a Primus reference
Sail those seas of cheese!

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:25 AM

Is that John Favreau's 3rd cousin Doug?

- Douchey Smurf

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:26 AM

Her wrist size dwarfs his -
He could fist a garter snake! Immune from handcuffs...

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:26 AM

maori tribesmen
would weep viewing his tattoos
"what have we started?"

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:27 AM

UPC code tatt,
Expiration date looms large;
Clean-up on aisle douche

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:27 AM

Cute blonde has to pee
Choad has something in his teeth
Baby Jesus cries

# posted by

prince choadstool : 7:28 AM

Kennedy cousine
Takes pool boy out on the boat
Later, he'll be killed

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:28 AM

Meatballs C.I.T.
Never get out of the boat
Throw douche to tiger.

# posted by

WeisenHeimer Brainstorm : 7:28 AM

@mr. white

left arm unfinished
due to copious weeping
artist said, "go home!"

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:28 AM

Single white female
seeks bass-fishing tatted douche
to drink Natty light

# posted by

K-Dog : 7:29 AM

Tool with tribals knows
In jail he would be prom queen
I hope she's legal

# posted by

maximus douchemus meridius : 7:29 AM

DB1 says "shark"
Thinking of Cape Cod sighting?
Or as we say, "shahk"

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/16549117/detail.html

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:30 AM

Smashmouth imposter
Needs his kissy-lips chin smashed.
Whisk hott to freedom.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:31 AM

Skull transplant success!
They sliced his head, removed skull,
Replaced with shovel.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:32 AM

left arm pushes out
right bicep, sophmore douche flex
push him overboard!

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:33 AM

Fishing adventure!
Live minnows are in his mouth,
And she has the worms.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:35 AM

Blonde with the cute smile:
Your left arm is now damaged
Kissy's posedown hurts

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:35 AM

Glasses keep douche at bay
Neanderthal chin implant
Must get more tribals

# posted by

The Douchesetta Stone : 7:35 AM

Tribal tat ass bag
Has a bigger Leno chin
Than Leno himself!

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:35 AM

Sir, Jay Leno called;
When you are all done boating,
He wants his chin back.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:36 AM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Dawn of the Douche : 7:36 AM

Damn you BoatButter,
Either we are both genius
or fucking retards

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:37 AM

Still called "widow's peak"
When the two peaks meet again
At the back of head?

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:37 AM

Unfinished Tat bag
flexes sad little bicep,
she can do better.

# posted by

Pepe Le Douche : 7:37 AM

Fair-skinned Irish hott
Mustn't drink from the red cup-
Bleeth virus within.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:38 AM

behind her glasses
she thinks, "why the hell am i
posing with cousin?"

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:38 AM

line from movie 'JAWS',
"...gonna need a bigger boat.",
makes sense to use here.

# posted by

pfah : 7:38 AM

Big arms, shrunken nuts.
Hairy man-tits, loathsome tats.
Sink him, Poseidon.

# posted by

Dawn of the Douche : 7:38 AM

The tribal tattoo
Announces that Trevor is
From Imadouche tribe

# posted by

El-douche-orado : 7:39 AM

They both squat and strain,
Out pops hot brown catfish chum;
Call Coast Guard! Code Brown!

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:39 AM

Darksock, my good man
Great bag-hunters think alike!
You are my brother.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:39 AM

let's head to the lake!
Lake C'monnawannachoad.
you bring the red cups.

# posted by

pfah : 7:40 AM

dear captain rehab
i have just found your quarry
netted moby douche

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:41 AM

His fist injects her;
It's too late, boys; write her off.
She's main-lining douche.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:41 AM

later that same day,
this choad had drunk half the lake,
trying to wakeboard.

# posted by

pfah : 7:42 AM

Is that a choad grease gland-line encircling his neck or a botched attempt at autoerotic asphyxia?

She's not sure what's in his mouth, but it might be a pusstule of his own 'manliness' he wants to share.

Chillbilly

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:42 AM

Ahoy there maties!
Hott's red cup is full of beer
Choad's mouth full of semen

# posted by

the douche abides : 7:42 AM

pfah, we can only hope
That he drank the lake water,
Then ate propeller

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:44 AM

captain jack sparrow
looks more manly than this douche
and he wears makeup!

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:45 AM

Val Kilmer's new role:
"Jay Leno's boat ride to HELL!";
His worst since Batman...

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:46 AM

Awesome custom boat;
Throttle and steering levers
Are topped with butt plugs.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:48 AM

one must ask one's self
"how many more squiggly lines
until i'm content?"

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:49 AM

Ridiculous chin;
uses 5 razors each day;
Gillette sponsorship.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:49 AM

Unfinished Tat Bag
flexes sad little bicep,
he impresses none.

# posted by

Pepe Le Douche : 7:50 AM

correct, mr. white.
the prop isn't the only
thing this choad swallows.

# posted by

pfah : 7:51 AM

darksock made johnny
spray strong coffee all over
computer keyboard

~butt plugs...priceless!~

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:52 AM

but he's probably
a decent guy in real life.
just made bad choices.

# posted by

pfah : 7:53 AM

list of bad choices:
haircut. tattoos. those plaid shorts.
kissy face. waxing.

# posted by

pfah : 7:54 AM

40 yr old gut,
9 yr old wrists, but horror...
Hot has mark of bag

# posted by

Douche Bigalow : 7:58 AM

"Ahoy there matey!"
Said the gay captain to Scrote.
"Your chin's my ballrest"

# posted by

boatbutter : 8:00 AM

With a chin like that,
There's no doubt that this fruitbar
Eats corn the long way.

# posted by

boatbutter : 8:01 AM

What did he cut his hair with? A hedge clipper?

# posted by

Dead End : 8:02 AM

Scrote with tribal tatts
Practices classic doucheface
Throw him overboard

# posted by

Douchey McDouche : 8:03 AM

Brother of DNA Dan
Kidnaps hott and gets bad ink
DNA Dan screams in vain

# posted by

moby douche : 8:05 AM

@pfah...

bad choices list 2,
job at corner gas station,
g.e.d. flunky,

"bad touch" on cousin,
busted for selling roofies,
stole nieghbor's dinghy.

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 8:05 AM

Iceman wannabe,
Those wrist's can't fly F-14's,
He stars in Top Bung

# posted by

Douche Bigalow : 8:18 AM

This reminds me of
a Sandler skit: "How about
some reverse action?"

# posted by

massengill : 8:36 AM

Pucker your lips Douche
Now clench fist and aim at face
Swing hard and fast, 'Bag

# posted by

Steve Douchemi : 8:40 AM

blonde bleeth and tatt scrote
kissy face puckerbag douche
red cup sails the deep.

# posted by

cheezeeporn : 8:45 AM

I-Ching pattern tatt'/
Cold wind off Cape Fear/
Scrote violates hott.

# posted by

live @ the full nozzle saloon: jesse james douchpree & squackyl : 8:52 AM

face of a pit-bull
he drools on her when they screw
image makes one spew

# posted by

'Ol Bagnanimous : 8:59 AM

Greasy forehead Hott
flexed sargeant from gomer pyle
when Jenny met Poo

# posted by

Minne-scrota : 9:06 AM

Captain Odouchious
He's sailing for "that one place."
Brought Cerce along.

# posted by

Clementine of Cappadoucha : 9:10 AM

sycophant scrotewank
shows us how he gets ahead
lips fit right in butt

# posted by

douchegrind : 10:07 AM

Muscles, crew cut, tatts
Hill Valley hott in right seat
Biff grows up, still douche

# posted by

elitescrota3 : 10:09 AM

Black Flag tat all wrong
applied in drunken stupor
smack in face with oar

# posted by

creature : 10:23 AM

with devilish glee
hott wispers to shovel face
uppercut yourself

# posted by

creature : 10:33 AM

Douche looks like roadkill
He's all covered in tire tracks
Vultures will get him

# posted by

Douchefinity : 10:37 AM

he can crush concrete
with cro-mag chin & forehead
take him to great wall

# posted by

creature : 10:39 AM

douche threatens blonde hott
once far enough from the shore
fuck or swim baby

# posted by

creature : 10:42 AM

hott half in the bag
has not completely lost mind
splash! she jumps from boat

# posted by

creature : 10:45 AM

In dictionary,
Find this photo under
Overcompensate.

# posted by

double x douche : 10:45 AM

blonde in cocktail dress
stop drinking before sunset
boat ride will end bad

# posted by

creature : 11:06 AM

he has tiny wrists
comes from odd sleeping habits
keeps hands warm up butt

# posted by

creature : 11:09 AM

pucker face tat fish
caught in toxic lake erie
gut & throw it back

# posted by

creature : 11:12 AM

blonde Jackie-O hott
give this tat-wad cement shoes
then toss overboard

# posted by

creature : 11:15 AM

Jay Leno chin bag
Much bad ink on your torso
Sleep with the fishes

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:01 PM

(Channels Smeagol):
"Leave now, and never come back!"
I say to the douche.

"Just jump in the lake
You overly-tatted 'bag!
I will care for her.

"She's too good for you
And your stupid fucking smirk."
Then I run like hell.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 12:45 PM

A note to Mitch Meats -
I say the Krull glaive still rocks
But the scrote does not.

Thanks for the mem'ry:
Movie was a tad cheesy
But the book was great.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 12:50 PM

upon my first glance
a black flag tattoo in there
Rollins in full rage

# posted by

the douchitania : 4:19 PM

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday Haiku

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