I'm sure he's "doin' his thang" frequently.
 

HJBBAD... suckin that d@#k of envy since 2008.
 

Hey, he learned what a metaphor is! Now he needs to learn better ones.



Oh, and Fuck Fish Hook (the thing hanging from his lip)!
 

either he has a saftey pin through his cheek or that's one hell of a herpes sore........

but i really shouldn't pick on someone who is so obviously mentally handicapped....
 

Any truth to the rumor that his application essay to Harvard included the same verbage?
 

Where are those Nip/Tuck surgeons--especially that one who always does pro bono work--when ya need 'em??

This would seem to be a local anesthetic/outpatient procedure.

Wait--Dimitri was a doctor...
 

impressive cleavage on blondie...
 

Does he have a pierced herpes sore?
 

no more comments from me for awhile

i just threw up on my keyboard
 

his parents must be out of town, so he's throwin' a big par-tay!

judging by the photos, he's livin' large in the converted basement of his parents Jersey house. classic seven foot ceilings and half-windows that look out onto the the neighbor's driveway.
 

Pete Dougherty?
 

I'm stunned that his parents ever let that little tard out of the beasement. He is so mind numbingly stupid.
Yet I cant get enough of his moron like sonnetts.
 

Methinks HJBBAD = "Jon Arbuckle."

Just a hunch.
 

I fucking LOVE this guy

Army of Douche-ness
 

@wheeze

I dunno, man. I think Jon was more of a lovable dweeb, whereas HJBBAD is more of a festering, metallic-infused sore on the lip of society.

DB1, please provide the context to the Bed Bath & Beyond line. (If there's anything that can be called "context" in this skidmark's writing.) I'm just fascinated to see where he was going with that. Especially since there's a smokin' hott working at my BB&B.
 

there an arm in this picture that doesn't belong.

it's the arm around the head of the girl in the red dress. it's not HJBBAD's (too small, wrong angle). it's not her own (physically impossible). and it doesn't belong to the girl in black, with curly hair either.

so i ask you......

who's arm is it?


WHO'S ARM IS IT?
 

Where the fuck is the arm that's clenching maroon shirt's head coming from?

And what's with the rainbow flags at top right?
 

Three minutes too late...

Damn you, pfah.
 

@bagwagger.....i am glad you saw the mystery arm too.

and those aren't rainbow flags my fellow 'bag hunter. that's HJBBAD's Mexican poncho left over from his big Cinco De Mayo blowout party, where he lost his virginity to the neighbors' dog.
 

These girls are a little old for HJBB&D arent they?
WTF is that thing growing on his face? Spider, canker or Type III Herpes sore? Time to up the valtrax dosage.

That arm looks like it's behind them.
 

http://www.facebook.com/s.php?q=babak&n=16777308&k=400000000010&init=r
I was bored, had some time, and felt like doing some bag hunting. Not sure if I'll actually add the douche or not, but I'm sorely tempted to just to get a laugh. He probably wouldn't accept my friend request as I don't fit his definition of an attractive woman... thank all that is not douchey and that is right.
As for the speculation as to whether or not he is gay... It wouldn't matter if he was because not one gay guy I know would touch such a scrote invested piece
 

I was told to say that the mystery arm belongs to somebody known as " Plinky's Mom"?

i have no idea who that is...
 

Man, HJBBAD totally scored the hookup on "Pimp My Treehouse." That looks like an Oriental rug there. You can't find those at Bed, Bath & Beyond.
 

If only those girls had the proper sized taint length. Sigh.
 

@mr. white:

"I once had a thing for brunettes but over the years I lost it. You can find it at Bed, Bath & Beyond..."

I think the poet is trying to say that bourgeoise concerns like "thread-count of linens" and those U-shaped mats that envelope your toilet and catch up the errant whizz can't chain down his bohemian, free, non-materialistic spirit.

His disdain for plastic surgery is probably further renouncement of this material world that he has transcended.
 

Yeah, I'm envious of whatever that is at the corner of his lips. I'm not sure what it is, but it could burst and release thousands of tiny spiders that then proceed to eat his girls. And none of these girls are hott; they're Middle American Next-Door Girls, at best.

He's the dopest homie with a minivan and a croquet set.
 

Don't trust anyone under 30....kill everyone born after the advent of Mtv..the final solution must be applied
 

Proving once again his ability to suck on a large scale.
 

Hmmm....Db1 mentioned Boston was his hometown after the NBA finals and HJBB&D is a Umass student...i see a potential Db1-HJBB&D realtive/personal friend correlation...

Doucheface Killa
 

If I may be so bold, I'd like to suggest a new category for the 2008 Douchies - The Douche Bag in Greatest Need of a Louisville Slugger Beat-down.

This turd would win.

I shall now go drown my anger with a bottle of OE. That solves almost everything.
 

A friend of mine is a grad student at U Mass....just texted him and told him his assignment from me for next year is to find and be-friend HJBB&D.
 

^ = Army of Douche-ness
 

damn. definitely a pierced herpes sore. that's a new level. and those bitches in his dorm room with him are all BUSTED. no question.
 

@pfah and bagwagger -

Maybe the arm is Verne Troyer filming another X-rated video that someone will "steal" and "leak" to the press.



@Mr. White -

You're probably right about Jon Arbuckle. He's just a misfit dweeb who's spiraling downward toward an insane asylum.

Meanwhile, something tells me HJBBAD was rejected by a brunette coworker or two at BB&B, and perhaps one of them caught him in the stockroom with a "Shape" magazine from the employee breakroom.

I should really stop speculating - I might need that rusty spoon they're passing around on the Lumpy Cheesecloth thread.
 

so wait...is the dick of envy on sale at bed bath and beyond? im confused
 

I have it on good authority that HJBBAD drinks his own pee.
 

Points to the blonde for demonstarating what a jerk-off this jackass really is.
His face looks like he's in the early stages of a flesh-eating virus. One can only hope.
 

I could be wrong, but that looks like a cigar sticking out of his mouth. The way he holds it in his mouth he looks like he had a recent stroke.
 

It's always good to see the Big Gay Pirate Ship. It reminds me that for every dumbass thing I've ever said, this tool has easily trumped it, and that at least I have the good sense to realize I'm clueless. Yet HJBBAD keeps spouting horseshit and taking pictures, and the Big Gay Pirate Ship sails on.

Either that's a late stage melanoma or HJBBAD is becoming a zombie. Nevertheless, I feel like this pic's been taken at a family reunion.
 

That's beautiful. I shed a little tear there.
 

HJBBADABBAB
barstoolsports poet laureate
 

I see blue cup is lurking under the window waiting for an opportunity to jump out and be free. He's tired of HJBBAD drinking his own pee from him.

That arm probably belongs to maroon shirt's kid. They're trying to save mommy from a life of herpes and bad poetry. And sheer douchebaggery.

I just realized something upsetting. This guy has a harem.
I'm gonna go hang myself.
 

Why would a guy grab a girl's head like that and touch his middle finger to her cheek to top it off? She does not look very comfortable in that picture. I hope she ripped off his douche facial piercings five seconds after the pic was taken.
 

That rainbow is from the gay pride galleon from this pic of his mom's basement.

Man, HJBBAD has really let himself go. At first I thought someone beat the crap out of him and that's a tooth filling hanging out of his face-hole, but then I realized it's acne. Hormone imbalances can be so cruel. Especially when combined with facial herpes.
 

@ pfah and others

That arm is HJBBAD's parasitic twin, HJWAMUGPS, aka He Just Watches And Makes Unnerving Guines Pig Sounds. He usually stays hidden under the hoodie but the dogpile squeezed him out.
 

Good thing he identified himself as God's gift to women. Otherwise we might have mistaken him for your run of the mill douchebag.
 

What ever happened to "Hot Chicks" with douchebags dot com? Look really hard, because there is a herpes afflicted scrote hidden in this hot mess of gangly troglodytes.....This entire picture just reminds me that I need to take my dog to the veterinarian for the chop.
 

He hasn't added me back yet, but his profile pic on Facebook is the douche minus the hott. I won't give out the whole name, but its Babak... which explains why he says he's not white. Oh well, either way he's a douche. At least one mystery is solved.
 

Douchebag of the millennium, hands down. Maybe he's god's gift to mediocre women, and they eat out of his hand just so someone will show them some attention. Every time this prick shows up on this site I lose a few days off my life expectancy.

Phantom arm is trying to save maroon from the infection.
 

Wait a second my friends, my wife has pointed something out that I think is worth mentioning.

They are in an old single wide mobile home.

Yep. That's about right.
 

God's gift to women?

I demand an immediate face-off between HJBBAD and Dmitri.
 

God's gift to women just accepted my friend request... I except some major douchebaggery in the future :D
 

pure. macktastic. genius.
 

Needs tweaking:


Bad kissers turn
me off
I once had a thing for
brunettes but over the years
I lost it

You can find it at
Bed, Bath & Beyond

I pretty
much like
to have girls eat out
the palm of my hand

cuz

I'm god's gift to women

What can you offer me
besides sex



?



.....Dam Gurl

Pretty much
I'm the f@#king
man and if you
hear other wise it's

cuz

they jealous

I'm doin my thang
while they suckin

that d@#k of envy
 

Do four typical suburban babes add up to one hott? Anyhoo, I think Summer Poet's next verse out to focus on Proactive Solution. Yeesh!
 

God's gift to women?
Hope you bitches kept the receipt.
 

Well, if he's drinking anything now, I wonder if it's the water in Portland?

; )

==================================
2 caught skinny dipping in Portland reservoir that's city's main water source

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS • June 30, 2008

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Two people caught skinny dipping in a Portland reservoir that is a main source of water for the city nearly caused officials to dump millions of gallons of water and close the facility.

Ryan Langsdorf, 28, and Ashley Moyer, 23, were found in one of two sections of the Mount Tabor Reservoir at about 3 a.m. Saturday during a spell of unusually hot weather. They were cited for trespassing.

But the two were swimming in a section of the reservoir that was not being used. Had that section been in use, water bureau officials say they would have had to dump millions of gallons of water from that pool and possibly shut off the reservoir.

Earlier this year, millions of gallons of water were dumped when someone put latex paint, a construction cone and hundreds of flyers into the water.
==================================
 

I think HJBB&Ds works at an animal shelter and literally does what his title implies. At least that's my explanation of how he contracted hoof and mouth disease or animal herpes simplex 12 due to facial-sphincter interfacing. What a choad.
 

He accepted my facebook friend request!

Army of Douche-ness
 

"... suckin that d@#k of envy."

The guy's a poet, there's no denying it.
 

I now understand the reason behind disease and natural disasters.

I can only hope one of the two kill him before he accidentally procreates.

-- Steve Douchemmi
 

Wow... where to start? Let's see... here are a few things women can offer the douchestrodinaire besides sex:

1. Spelling lessons
2. Curtains
3. Clothing made of natural fibers
4. A decent haircut

Just look harder, douche, there is so much available in this world.

I think the saddest thing is that the three Heathers and a Veronica think this guy really is a "thug", and they get moist in the panties thinking of his "gangsta" ways. Vomit.
 

lmfao...i still hate hard, unchewable steak.
 

i'd like to fuck his ass out of respect