This is much better, that other kid didn't deserve to be on this site, I think we've all given the two thumbs up at one point or another. This guy however should just be punched in the face.
 

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I wonder how often that spike in his face gets caught in his landing strip. That f'ing star looks like a target for a 2x4 with a rusty nail in it.

In the event of an emergency landing, Carly's funbags can be used as a delicious flotation device.
 

Wow. Fish Slap ear-fucked this guy so hard his belly-tatt left a mark...
 

Gig is up Starfish. I know she's your sister. Did you forget to wipe your chin after Sergio gave you a Roman Soldier Helmet?
 

Wow....can we give him the weekly now (and possibly the monthly as well)?

This guy sucks. And by sucks, I mean, he sucks....dicks. Regularly. Often.
 

Oh yeah, and Justine Bateman hott isn't bad either.
 

Good move. This guy is about 100 orders of douchiness higher then the prom kid.
 

Starry, starry bag
landing strips are really gay
thinking you will get a lay
with lips that conjure darkness in my soul
 

She's all kinds of skanky stripper hott. I'm shootin' right for that lovely cleavage.
 

Is that the mark of the Bra!! I see
carved in his hair???
 

A nomination for the douchiest sneer in the 2008 douchies.
 

Star Light Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Be a total douchebag all day and night.

Thank you MasterCuts!
 

Is the Hard Rock Las Vegas like the West Coast version of Jersey?
 

What a nasty turd stain.
Unless you work as a carny why would do your head like that?
Ball bat dipped in a septic tank I believe would be fitting for him.
 

I hate him almost as much as I hate fish slap, I'm going to have to drink myself to sleep tonight to get this image out of my head.
 

She's cute in a "I'm missing a chromosome" sort of way.

I will give him a pass on the piercings. What he will not get a pass on is his smugly look on his goofy ass face and that way fucking retarded head "art".

This guy needs to be held by his ankles and slowly lowered into a vat of sulfuric acid.

She should be forced to watch.
 

What do people like this do when they're not out in their costumes, making fools of themselves? Cleary, their identities are so tied-up in the absurdity of their presentations--is there a quiet night for these people or are they always up 4 wuteva?
 

I just talked to the Sun and it is very pissed about the representation on the side of the head of this wet fart.

Great description DB1. I do feel violated in a deep way. My Id is bruised and, if it were possible, would need to be splinted.

She's smoking in that I'll tutor you in math for payment in hand jobs kind of way.

great submission, I'm terribly upset
 

It seems that Rehab has produced yet another douche/hott combo for the record books.

It's almost not fair... Rehab is the mecca for the wrongness of the douche/hott paradox.

-Shia Ladouche
 

she is without a doubt the hottest hott on here in quite some time

and he is, without a doubt,one of the biggest shit-sucking douchebags to ever grace these hallowed grounds.

ye gods man, the amount of labor and time invested to achive such douchtastc perfection, between the waxing, the shaving, the piercing, the blowing out, the posing practice, the tanning, is truly staggering. less energy, resources and manpower was expended during the entire British occupation of India.

multitudes of aspiring choad-scum stand in awe of such monumental doucheosity, and by 'awe' i mean he should be mauled by a pack of rabid wolverines, for the the betterment of all humanity.
 

Wow, this douche has it all. Spiked hair, shaved star pattern, chin pubes, nipple ring, dog tags, douchey expression, and an uber hot chick.

He should win the weekly in a landslide. Early HOS candidate?
 

i smell a weekly winner.

that's right, i just pointed to left-center and called my shot.

what a forced frown.

and her easy, relaxed smile is the polar opposite.

he needs a sinmple punch in the face. old school style.
 

Not just one chin strap folks, BUT TWO. The bottom one is just a faint dusting of strap but its there, and irks me even more because of that. It takes him longer to groom himself than it does to count the pairs of jeans in my closet. Good fucking job ball gobbler, you get the douche stamp. Go directly to Rehab, do not pass Go, do not collect any more hotts.
 

He needs more roughage, apparently.
 

Yeah but no.
 

Every once in awhile the pictures posted here induce actual physical nausea. This is one of those times. My soul needs a shower.
 

This guy is scrote. Pure unadulterated put your cock in a cuisinart scrote. The two of them are classic crap. It's sourced SPY ON VEGAS, so these walking sphincters, these two unbearable buckets of protoplasm, these, these, oh fuck - they're just a couple of assholes.

Yeah, she's got the boobs, and the brains to match. She's got "vegas cocktail waitress / part-time stripper" written all over her boring ADHD face. And scrotemeister? A pathetic choad, not worth the misdirected spooge that spawned him. His waxed and shaven body marks him as just another product, another platform for nipple jewelry. Who needs a star tatt when you can carve it into your hair, so everyone knows you're a douchebag when you walk down the street? The dogtag bling, the scowl, the landingstrip, ugh...

This one is strong.

The only consolation? When Las Vegas is abandoned, these fuckwits will lose everything.
 

I'd like to tie a rope to every piercing on this pudfucker's lame excuse for a body. I'd drag him behind my pickup truck across 30 miles of south Mississippi swamp including a trip through a commercial pig farm lagoon and 40 acres of blackberry briers. I'd then smear him with honey and drop him on a fire ant nest. A sword stuck where its dicklette should have been would ensure that it never reproduced. I'd heat the protruding end of the sword and forge it around to make it permanent. I'd drop the whole fecal mess in a tank of caustic soda and burn the residue. Then I'd burn his apartment to make sure that not even one strand of his DNA remained on this earth. Then I'd sit down to ponder why there wasn't more I could do to sterilize the world of this aberrant kind of mutation.

Oh, and I'd hunt down its hair stylist. I'd suspend it by its genitals and slowly pluck out its taint hairs one by one while simultaneously running a Forstner bit up its ass using Dewalt's finest.

The hott? Sorta, in a bar trashy kinda way. Complete with the white trash squared off fake finger claws. This one would really be STD roulette. Maybe safe using an inner tube as a condom.
 

Jesus Christ!

That guy should be the fucking mascot for this site. You couldn't intentionally look any more stupid than that.
 

Yanno I kind of take comfort in the fact that this assclown is going to have pancake tits when he hits forty.

That sneer, that look in his eyes is absolutely vile. You put that expression on a busload of nuns on a tour of the Hoover Dam and you want to go after them with a chainsaw. Doucheface of the year, man. Doucheface of the year.
 

I was going to make a BRA! star reference and saw Darksock already got in with the Fish Slap star reference and then I see Charles Bra!!son did too with a BRA! reference.

Damn, I gotta quit working.
 

@ Darksock...

I think the star marks (which I'm assuming he has on both sides of his douchey dome) are imprints left from the hugfest that him and Bra! had earlier in the day. See, they both buy all their hair product from the same guido factory and have been fast friends and butt-buddies ever since. I can just imagine the convo these tools would have...I'm pretty sure that 95% of the conversation would consist of grunts and one syllable words...classy
 

This guy deserves his very own "Mal-ku"'(evil cousin of the Haikku in 6-6-6 syllabic formatt)

Star of shit, Faux-Hawk sucks
Landing strip? Spike? Dog-Tag?
False tough guy, eat shit, die
 

Time for a theory:

These Vegas parties, Jersey parties, etc. are the hotts' ultimate revenge against the frat choads. Most hotts have at least one female friend who is, shall we say, a bit heavy, right?

Remember hearing about "hogger humper" parties where the guy who brings the biggest gal wins some silly prize?

Well, the hotts have banded together to get back at fratbags who embarrassed their friends. To do this, they dress as sexily as they can to encourage their fratboy dimwits to do all sorts of douchey shit: shave the Rockstar drink logo in their head, for example. Then, they gather at some big Greek gathering organized by these wise hotts "in the spirit of brotherhood amongst different fraternities" or some shit and have their photos taken ad nauseam.

Or maybe I'm once again overthinking this and it's really all about the boobies.

Regardless, from this wellspring of douchebaggery comes HCwDB, and we are thankful. And the Metaphysical Pooligan does indeed suck the testicles of a pack animal.
 

"Carlos, now entering his early 30's, still deeply resented his father's refusal to let him borrow the Volvo for the Senior Prom."
 

No, see, db1 I disagree. I actually think this guy is part of an anarchist cult set to overthrow capitalism and its consumer gluttony ... isn't that what the piercings and hair spikes are all about? A return to tribalism and its rejection of expensive fashion trends?
The italian seductress is right in throwing her affections on this guy... more attention needs to be paid to the upcoming struggle. I feel so much hope for the future looking at these children of the revolution.
 

yoo how many wrist bands does that chick have??? bar hop much??
 

Motorcycle gang attitude from a Moped man.... hell maybe even just a Big Wheel®.
 

Damn. These pics are burning into my brain-- I gotta stop coming here. I think I've been made stupider looking at these wastes of 'roids and spray-on tan.

See, a couple of weeks ago, my wife had a family reunion. During one of the obligatory group pictures, I grabbed my wife's ass with one hand, made a kissy-tounge face toward her, and threw up a gang sign with my free hand. Now, picure this being done by a typically boring American Suburban Dad in his 40s. I'm a f'ing yuppie with high cholesterol and worry lines over my kid's college fund, not some herpes-crusted lawn-boy with product logos carved into his head.

Damn.
 

If the douche had only the sneer it'd be enough to stamp him as classic choad. Add everything else - the piercings, dog tags, hideous hair shavings, etc and you have HOS contention. But what makes him especially disturbing is that glint in his eye. This asswipe is angry, and evil.

Hott has a life of domestic abuse awaiting her. She probably too stupid to leave him.
 

This guys dad should've pulled out. He'd have served humanity better as a fuck stain on his mom's crusty-ass sheets. Instead, he's a fuck stain on society. No wonder the terrorists want to kill us all. Go eat some more drugs, loser.
 

Wasn't he the DB in Apocalypto? Photo here:http://images.digitalmedianet.com/2007/Week_3/6oyjj9mj/story/apocalypto500.jpg
 

I think any male who would even dare dispute the sexy hotness of this little beauty is not straight.

What is it about the star on his head that just screams "Hit me here full velocity with a baseball bat"? Is that just me?
 

@ Bag Queen

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant parody. Immediately thought of the Don McLean song as I read the first line.
 

TITS!!
 

Bra imprinted his star on this guy's head, while Hooligan was giving Bra head.
 

Good god, he's got his beady eye on the monthly already...
 

I miss Bra
 

As I look at this pic, I feel we need to acknowledge 2 Choads that contributed much to the Douchebachery of said Hooligan ...

1 - The Douche hair stylist that suggested the STAR.

and

2 - The Douche that pierced the nipples

without them this Metaphysical Hooligan couldn't of been possible.
 

This is the funniest website I've ever visited. I will totally be back ; )
 

Although the stroke occurred in Carlos' colon, it still turned him into a total and complete douchebag.
 

bleghghg....another $30,000 millionaire ruining it for the rest of humanity....go fuck a wood chipper while simultaneously dropping some Ice-9 and free me from the bondage of my utter malice towards your kind.....
 

He needs to be speed-punched in his cock
 

I wanted to add that this woman looks like she's at the very first stages of bleeth rot: incredibly hot, with the gleam of intelligence that would ordinarily make you happy to be alive, but with the veil of decay that signals she's ultimately going to turn to Kaballah and unicorns to justify her ruinous decision in men.
This one just burned in my mind ... I can't tell whether it's divine wrath flowering in my chest, or my brains are getting drilled out of me - but I had to come back.
 

just look at the face on this douche. he needs to have his entire scalp ripped off to rid the world of that douchebag hairstyle. then each of his piercings should be ripped off and burned with a red hot poker.
 

He's got what we call... "chesticles"... fucked up underdeveloped chest muscles from doing the same three exercises everyday at the gym in an attempt to justify his ridiculous peircings.... somebody's got some daddy issues and it isn't the cute-like-a-chipmunk hott!
 

"Chicks dig me because I am EEE-VIL!!!"
 

Just think: she chose him.....





(sticks fork in eye and drops anvil on unsprained ankle)
 

Her name is Kelly, she's from houston and banged every douchebag wannab dope dealer in the city.
 

It's Always Bet On Douche!
(http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/05/always-bet-on-douche.html)

Yes, I went through the archives. The boss was on vacation this week.
 

oh...my...sweet...jesus!?!
 

Clearly the douche is with these three. Padawan learner on the left, douche on the right and Douche-master in the middle. As a buddy of mine said (in horrified tone) "that guy's face is disappearing behind the orange....."