Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Boobie Epiphany
Lil' Head's Epiphany (a one-act):
Lil' Head: Boobies!!
Big Head: Lil' Head, we've talked about this repeatedly. Those large soft fleshmounds will only lead us into trouble.
Lil' Head: How do you figure?
Big Head: First we have to convince her to ditch the cactus head. Then spend two hours at the cabana while she Woos with her six annoying Woo-Hott friends from Michigan State. Then she'll borrow our credit card and disappear for four hours.
Lil' Head: And your point is? I reiterate: boobies.
Big Head: Look lil' head, it's important that you learn context. Place the boobies into a larger framework.
Lil' Head: By framework, you mean the butt cheeks and the holy hooha.
Big Head: The holy hooha is not what I'm talking about.
Lil' Head: Well you should be. I'll bet it's where angels fear to tread, afraid to sully its perfection.
Big Head: No, but that's very poetic, Lil' Head.
Lil' Head: Thank you. I'm feeling poetic today. And by poetic, I mean inspired by boobies!!
Big Head: Alls I want you to realize, Lil' H, is that boobies alone are not enough to convince us to spend six hours on a fruitless quest, only to be left at the bar when another zebra-striped douchescrote walks by.
Lil' Head: Hmm.
Big Head: Think of it this way, Lil' Head. Pursuing the Bleeth Hott means boobies that are always out of reach. And boobies out of reach are not boobies at all.
Lil' Head: So you're saying if we chase the Boobies we cannot grab, then we lose the potential to locate another set of Boobies that we CAN grab.
Big Head: Exactly!
Lil' Head: I will have to sleep on that. But first... Boobies!
Big Head: (sigh)
and... scene.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 12:07 PM 
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Nice zebra shorts.... matches the rug in my Jungle Room. No seriously.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by 
: 12:12 PM
: 12:12 PM
I would almost give Big Head Todd a not-a-pass... but then I scrutinize the cabanas.... and other assorted Vegas pool scenery and reconsider.
- D.S.
- D.S.
# posted by : 12:15 PM
: 12:15 PM
I hate to break it to you lil' head, but I would be willing to bet that that particular hooha is not an exemplary specimen of "perfection." Likely due to way too many "angels" having already trodden there.
# posted by : 12:25 PM
: 12:25 PM
What a healthy young lady.
The bar cabana in the background is actually a 1:1 scale of her boobs.
True story.
And the pool drain is a replica of his asshole.
The bar cabana in the background is actually a 1:1 scale of her boobs.
True story.
And the pool drain is a replica of his asshole.
$20 says her labia looks like 5 chewed and wadded up pieces of grape bubble gum.
Nothin' wrong with that, mind you, I'm just sayin'....
Nothin' wrong with that, mind you, I'm just sayin'....
# posted by : 12:28 PM
: 12:28 PM
Her body says "explore me and grind against me in oily sin".
But her face says "Hi, I'm Ronnie Millsaps."
I'm torn...
But her face says "Hi, I'm Ronnie Millsaps."
I'm torn...
"Big Head: Alls I want you to realize, Lil' H, is that boobies alone are not enough to convince us to spend six hours on a fruitless quest, only to be left at the bar when another zebra-striped douchescrote walks by."
Cactus Head apparently got his fashion sense from Vin II (total moron).
Cactus Head apparently got his fashion sense from Vin II (total moron).
I am not torn.
I would paint her fingernails with the sweat of Atlas.
I would wash her feet with the tears of Tiresias.
I would pluck the feathers of Phoenix and sew her a pillow.
The foreplay would last betwixt us for months as we frolic amongst the fields of Athenry.
All before giving her a solid four minutes of inner ear-lingus before blowing my load clear into her small intestine.
I would paint her fingernails with the sweat of Atlas.
I would wash her feet with the tears of Tiresias.
I would pluck the feathers of Phoenix and sew her a pillow.
The foreplay would last betwixt us for months as we frolic amongst the fields of Athenry.
All before giving her a solid four minutes of inner ear-lingus before blowing my load clear into her small intestine.
Wow, if Comedy Central doesn't pick up this script and turn it into at least 3 episodes, then there's really something wrong with our society.
The nonverbal conflict between Big Head and Little Head has been going on for quite a while. Probably since I was about 10. Fake or not, those lovely knockers look really fabulous right now...
The nonverbal conflict between Big Head and Little Head has been going on for quite a while. Probably since I was about 10. Fake or not, those lovely knockers look really fabulous right now...
"Boobiepiphany" - when one is pleasantly startled into an idea after viewing wondrous breasticles.
There's one for Lake Superior State University to add to their annual list - that is, they should motion that it be added to the dictionary and not banished.
There's one for Lake Superior State University to add to their annual list - that is, they should motion that it be added to the dictionary and not banished.
Johnny @ 12:11...don't say "gapes" or "gapes of wrath" around the sexual deviants.
Very bad, very wrong images run through my head of this healthy woman of the tasty latina variety. Even more, she's a savvy dresser. Seems as though she's a little thick in the middle, and so this crazy swimwear trend seems to flatter her BOOOOOBIES.
Aereolas pink or brown? I'm thinking brown pepperonis if Blinded @ 12:28 is accurate...
Very bad, very wrong images run through my head of this healthy woman of the tasty latina variety. Even more, she's a savvy dresser. Seems as though she's a little thick in the middle, and so this crazy swimwear trend seems to flatter her BOOOOOBIES.
Aereolas pink or brown? I'm thinking brown pepperonis if Blinded @ 12:28 is accurate...
@Darksock 12:30... Hahahahahaha... it's the glasses man. Her tapping cane is probably propped against a lounge chair out of the frame.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM
isn´t this the asian guy who was on one pic with his shirt advertising his stupid company? And then was writing in the comments what a great promo this was for him? i think the pic got taken down afterwards then.
p.s. booobies
p.s. booobies
# posted by : 1:01 PM
: 1:01 PM
I'd like to make love to those boobs. And I don't mean titfuck. I mean, rip them off her and take one out for dinner. Just to make the other one jealous. 'Cause maybe they'd fight... and then make out.
# posted by : 1:21 PM
: 1:21 PM
Crazy boobs...one wears tin foil to keep the government out of its thoughts, and the other one squirts out cherry Pepsi and emits squeaking sounds at night.
Crazy boobs.
Crazy boobs.
# posted by : 1:25 PM
: 1:25 PM
Big Head: Y'know, Li'l Head, I'm starting to see you point on this whole "boobies" thing. I guess we could...
Right Hand: Hey you assholes! If we're going down this road again, remember to put some leather gloves in the trunk this time.
Left Hand: Yeah seriously. I've still got a blister from burying what was left of that Thai hooker.
Tongue: In all fairness, that was some good eatin', though.
Right Hand: Hey you assholes! If we're going down this road again, remember to put some leather gloves in the trunk this time.
Left Hand: Yeah seriously. I've still got a blister from burying what was left of that Thai hooker.
Tongue: In all fairness, that was some good eatin', though.
He is dumb, she is Yum!
Hang on baby, here I come
to save you from this cactus-head
and Fireman's carry you off to bed
there I'll gently lay you down
and my motorboat will cruise around
Is it just me, or is this fuckin Charlie Sheen wanbe way, WAY more lucky than he deserves?
and for you pups out there who thinks she is fat, you obviously have never had a curvy babe before, but, that's ok, to each thier own, more for the rest of us
Hang on baby, here I come
to save you from this cactus-head
and Fireman's carry you off to bed
there I'll gently lay you down
and my motorboat will cruise around
Is it just me, or is this fuckin Charlie Sheen wanbe way, WAY more lucky than he deserves?
and for you pups out there who thinks she is fat, you obviously have never had a curvy babe before, but, that's ok, to each thier own, more for the rest of us
If, inexplicably, human infants around the globe simultaneously grew to adult size, she would be there to ensure the survival of the big-ass babies of the United States.
For that, I salute her.
In my pants.
For that, I salute her.
In my pants.
# posted by : 1:48 PM
: 1:48 PM
Word, 'Ol Bagnanimous.
I would brave the tremulous canyons of her bronze thighs and penetrate the darkened cave of her love bear with the turgid fleshlight of justice I keep in my pants. D-batteries, baby...D size. Then I would repel down Butte crevace, only to find Crucial gargling at her pudding pool. Of Truth. And Poop.
I would brave the tremulous canyons of her bronze thighs and penetrate the darkened cave of her love bear with the turgid fleshlight of justice I keep in my pants. D-batteries, baby...D size. Then I would repel down Butte crevace, only to find Crucial gargling at her pudding pool. Of Truth. And Poop.
# posted by : 1:51 PM
: 1:51 PM
When your fingers go spastic and they start forming a strange douche lingo...
That's a sure sign you're a DOUCHE BAG!!
May I also add:
Chia Douches Hott looks like she wore a box kite to the pool.
Fuck This is cathartic...God I'm an Angry Fucker.
That's a sure sign you're a DOUCHE BAG!!
May I also add:
Chia Douches Hott looks like she wore a box kite to the pool.
Fuck This is cathartic...God I'm an Angry Fucker.
girl is hot and she knows it. too bad she shows it by rubbing up to this clown.
and so what if she's eaten a sandwich or two in her life? that's what fake tits are for, to balance out big asses!
and so what if she's eaten a sandwich or two in her life? that's what fake tits are for, to balance out big asses!
# posted by : 2:16 PM
: 2:16 PM
pair a tits lost?
its like milton, and no not the guy with the stapler you philistines, but funnyerest
its like milton, and no not the guy with the stapler you philistines, but funnyerest
# posted by : 2:19 PM
: 2:19 PM
Bag gesture #69 has reappeared; look closely gents, for it is none other than "The Punisher".
# posted by : 3:13 PM
: 3:13 PM
Given the width of her hips, I'm betting those sweater puppies are 100% natural.
He has a face that's just begging to be introduced to the business end of a pick-axe.
He has a face that's just begging to be introduced to the business end of a pick-axe.
@ snoop douchey bagg
"Natural"??? BWA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA-(snort)-HAAA-HA-HA-HA....! Oh Jeebus wept, that's good.
That's why I love hanging around here. You kids positively KILL me sometimes.
"Natural"??? BWA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA-(snort)-HAAA-HA-HA-HA....! Oh Jeebus wept, that's good.
That's why I love hanging around here. You kids positively KILL me sometimes.
@ Tsu -
''A pair o' tits lost''......
You are a golden God....and we worship at your calves.
-DarkSock
''A pair o' tits lost''......
You are a golden God....and we worship at your calves.
-DarkSock
# posted by : 8:36 PM
: 8:36 PM
I'd like to put a baby in her belly.... she has the wide hips that are good for birthin
# posted by : 8:59 PM
: 8:59 PM
She sure is a 1st class, Stage 4 Bleeth but daaaaaaaamn. Thems are some tasty lookin' sweater bunnies. And I'm not even a fan of the surgically-altered, gravity-defying boobies. But I repeat, daaaaaaaamn...
Zebra...
Boobs...
This usually means a time to reminisce. A time to think of yonder and lore, when "The Yak" comes to mind. Yet, with these new boobies and zebra shorts, I'm having an epiphany.
The dialog between big and lil' head is a pantomime of tug-o-war between man and child, but I'm still yearning - yearning for something more, something borrowed, no...something given...no, something from the sea...yes, under the sea!
I'm thinking Ariel. So with that, props to Ariel here in the picture and I'd love to be the lobster in her tail!
Under da boob's :-)
Lose the barney-cal douchebag :-)
Douche Johnson
Boobs...
This usually means a time to reminisce. A time to think of yonder and lore, when "The Yak" comes to mind. Yet, with these new boobies and zebra shorts, I'm having an epiphany.
The dialog between big and lil' head is a pantomime of tug-o-war between man and child, but I'm still yearning - yearning for something more, something borrowed, no...something given...no, something from the sea...yes, under the sea!
I'm thinking Ariel. So with that, props to Ariel here in the picture and I'd love to be the lobster in her tail!
Under da boob's :-)
Lose the barney-cal douchebag :-)
Douche Johnson
http://bp0.blogger.com/_g-JvktX_Yn8/RoC_5VW5tmI/AAAAAAAAAG4/u3I56gZDDAM/s1600-h/MONICACHAIREZCHEER3.jpg
Here is a pre boob upgrade pic of the bleeth.
Douchescooper
Here is a pre boob upgrade pic of the bleeth.
Douchescooper
# posted by : 12:20 AM
: 12:20 AM
possibly one of the most universally appealing posts on the whole blog.
you've captured the whole bag-hunting impoetus in a 1-act play, leaving the reader feeling the frustration and necessity to mark the scrote as the virulent cesspool of evolutionary filth that it is.
so when does the following officially get a name? The 'Bag Hunter Army, perhaps?
you've captured the whole bag-hunting impoetus in a 1-act play, leaving the reader feeling the frustration and necessity to mark the scrote as the virulent cesspool of evolutionary filth that it is.
so when does the following officially get a name? The 'Bag Hunter Army, perhaps?
# posted by : 11:48 AM
: 11:48 AM
Those boobs look familiar - isn't this the girl who was rolling with Maverick?
# posted by : 8:09 PM
: 8:09 PM
that douche is simple a pimple on societies ass ... he needs to be taken down a peg or two ... what a dick
they're perfect for each other united in douchedom!
those saline in those boobs could put out a four alarm
fire!
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those saline in those boobs could put out a four alarm
fire!
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