Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Caption This Pic
Kendra began to wonder if Tony and Pierre really were casting directors for "Harry Potter and the Curse of Repressed British Alcoholism Later in Life," or if they just wanted to get in her pants.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:02 AM 
Comments:
Sol heard that showing off your concentration camp tattoo is the way to get the young ladies.
# posted by 
: 7:04 AM
: 7:04 AM 
Prince Von Fu Manchu: "Does this oriental script make my arm look thin?"
Debby: "Hells no! That tat is the hotness!"
Earl: "When are we going to kill this one?"
Prince Von Fu Manchu: "Just as soon as the guy with the camera leaves."
- Douchey Smurf
Debby: "Hells no! That tat is the hotness!"
Earl: "When are we going to kill this one?"
Prince Von Fu Manchu: "Just as soon as the guy with the camera leaves."
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 7:09 AM
: 7:09 AM
When Don Alphonso and his Japanese Mafia friend Hakira Moto said they would change her life, Rebbecka didn't think too much of it. But, when they had her fingerprints erased with acid and whisked her off to Brazil as a high priced call-girl, she knew they were for real, but couldn't remember who she was
"Finally accepting her analyst's diagnosis that she had an 'Electra Complex,' Kendra decided to just give in and hook up with two manthers who did, in fact, drive Buick Electras."
So Jerry Orbach comes back from the dead and wastes his reanimation frosting his tips and getting kanji tattoos and hanging out at BED?
# posted by : 7:11 AM
: 7:11 AM
The guy to the left of the paid escort hott is my cousin, Vinny. :P
The other is "Leather-satchel-faced" Leonard Tubbs, small-time hood and part-time ass-purse to Jamal Simmons, cell block C, at the East Jersey State Prison.
The other is "Leather-satchel-faced" Leonard Tubbs, small-time hood and part-time ass-purse to Jamal Simmons, cell block C, at the East Jersey State Prison.
"You're right," exclaimed Kendra. "Your forehead sheen does match your associate's tattoo!"
She thought to herself for a moment.
"What's an associate?"
She thought to herself for a moment.
"What's an associate?"
Curious as to what a fifty-year-old d!ck tastes like, Kendra just broke down and ASKED Vinnie.
"Depends..." Vinnie replied honestly.
"Depends..." Vinnie replied honestly.
Kendra felt that an older gentleman would be more equipped to help her in her extracurricular passion.
A History major, Kendra liked to collect portraits of deceased American presidents.
A History major, Kendra liked to collect portraits of deceased American presidents.
Rachel was starting to regret saying she would sell her soul to devil if the fat guy would get his arm off her
# posted by : 7:44 AM
: 7:44 AM
"The two Roberts, Loggia and Englund, had definitely seen better days," thought Barbie.
# posted by : 7:46 AM
: 7:46 AM
Kendra really wished her dad would stop renting her out to low-level Gambini soldiers to pay off his gambling debts.
Gerald’s anus quivered in spastic ecstasy upon feeling Toby’s hand on the small of his back. His newly moistened lips turned slightly upward as he anticipated his unabashed acceptance of Gerry’s taint upon his own chin later that night beneath his prized Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, limited edition poster.
As it turns out, Don Logan was still alive when he was burried under that swimming pool in Spain. While encased, he grew hair and spontaneously sprouted a tattoo on his left forearm. Do it! Do the job!
# posted by : 7:51 AM
: 7:51 AM
Javier’s job as a worm dung farmer had its upside. He could wallow in the fields and go straight to the clubs to party like it was 1984.
Fortunately, Leandro’s preference for using Rodrigo’s backdoor as the main entrance for his wee-wee was not lost on Sheila.
Don't you know you're mocking french incarnation of Rock'n'roll?!
Check this out: http://www.johnnyhallyday.com/
By the way, you're right, this guy sucks ass...
Check this out: http://www.johnnyhallyday.com/
By the way, you're right, this guy sucks ass...
# posted by : 7:55 AM
: 7:55 AM
Alphonso was encouraged by the progress he and Milford were making with their 401k portfolios. And the volatility in the future’s exchange all but melted away with the reassuring grip ‘ol Steve placed on his sagging ass cheek.
Send over The Destructor’s to these “Old Miseries.” These sag 'bags need to be locked in an outhouse while their façades are demolished.
Kendra: You guys have such deep luxurious tans. How can I get one.
Don Vitto: Tan? Hell, I'm one big liver spot.
Don Vitto: Tan? Hell, I'm one big liver spot.
# posted by : 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM
Kendra wondered if Jean and Luc could still get it up. If not, they'd sure be wasting a lot of money.
AV
AV
# posted by : 8:08 AM
: 8:08 AM
Vito: Hey Marcia... You looking at me?
You Looking at me?
You looking at me?
Marcia: Actually, I was just looking the ear-Stache you got going on!
You Looking at me?
You looking at me?
Marcia: Actually, I was just looking the ear-Stache you got going on!
# posted by : 8:08 AM
: 8:08 AM
Left Guy: I just got a part to play Charles Bronson in a movie about his life story.
Right Guy: Ah, quit braggin'. You only get to play his corpse at the funeral.
Kendar: I love Marilyn Manson!
Right Guy: Ah, quit braggin'. You only get to play his corpse at the funeral.
Kendar: I love Marilyn Manson!
WOW! Roy has recovered well from that tiger attack a few years back. However, Siegfried looks weathered...Kendra on a casting couch call?
Siegfried - "Kendra, we need you to help change our image."
Siegfried - "Kendra, we need you to help change our image."
Shit, after looking at this "legend's" website, she's way past redemption. She's in about half of the pics on the site and has been married to the spot since 1996. Since they are married does this still count as HCwDB? I guess it does, she's a hott and he's a 'bag.
# posted by : 8:15 AM
: 8:15 AM
Is it good for prior douchebag mob bosses to be seen in public after they turned?
The witness relocation program completely failed for these two leather bound books.
The witness relocation program completely failed for these two leather bound books.
Dis was taken at my social club. Youse may have heard of it, "The Wrinkled Sack." Would ya believe the freakin broad in da pic is taking bracciole from both "Fat" Gary Nosleeviati and Johnny "Ga-Ga" Douchenuts? Maron!
Good to be back folks!
Good to be back folks!
And GOD said "Let there be chaos on earth".
Blanch Debaroh and Dorthy Zbornak immediately turned into men, leaving their niece to endure the night.
The world explodes...
Blanch Debaroh and Dorthy Zbornak immediately turned into men, leaving their niece to endure the night.
The world explodes...
i don't know if these guys are douchebags or my heroes, and i'm not just saying that because i'm afraid they will find me and disappear me into a mass grave in chechnya.
kudos to greicosystem and his "portraits of dead presidents."
-haberdouchery
kudos to greicosystem and his "portraits of dead presidents."
-haberdouchery
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
Carrie Underwood didn't realize how hideous Al Pacino and Gene Simmons were in person!
# posted by : 8:52 AM
: 8:52 AM
Archibald’s withered hand grasped his champagne flute tightly as he consoled Umberto’s anxiety with soft rubs across his back. After all, it was he, not Umberto who had suggested the contest in the first place. He never foresaw the hours it would take to see who could squeeze out the first drop of piss at the trough.
Kendra thought the whole thing cute. After all, she thought it great that these old guys work out so much to keep their prostates enlarged.
Kendra thought the whole thing cute. After all, she thought it great that these old guys work out so much to keep their prostates enlarged.
living proof that by eating well, having an aggressive exercise regimen, avoiding cocaine, and liberally applying sunscreen will still allow you to pull some high-quality ass when you are well into your silver years.
"First you get da *hack hack* money, den you gets da *bluah wheeze gaccck* yeh da powah, den you gets *braaachk bluah whuuup whuup*.....honey, gets me my oxygen....ah, christz, i dink the colostomy's leakin' again......""
something tells me that the next morning, she woke up in the desert completely naked and smelling of Ben-Gay.
Lisa prepared for her big night with the Gotti Gramps by frigging herself for two weeks with a dry knotted hemp rope.
I didn't know Keith Richards was out of Rehab and what on earth is he doing hangin out with Tom Jones?
a haiku for this mess of a picture:
old balls on her chin,
guess who has 'Daddy Issues'?
Viagra must work.
old balls on her chin,
guess who has 'Daddy Issues'?
Viagra must work.
Hey, I thought we didn't allow celebags. That guy on the left is pretty much the French Elvis.
# posted by : 9:25 AM
: 9:25 AM
the 'French Elvis'?!??
OMFG.
further proof that the French should just stick to what they do best.
1. smoke
2. drink wine
3. practice snobbery
4. take naps
OMFG.
further proof that the French should just stick to what they do best.
1. smoke
2. drink wine
3. practice snobbery
4. take naps
ufo destroyers is right, that hott is all over the dude's website. I bet she's one of those chicks who was gangbanging the Rolling Stones when she was 17...
Baby's grown up fast.
Baby's grown up fast.
Russian mobster, twig arm Ivan, & his new partner Pierre La Layne, prior to thier reality excercise show debut, "Grab a Leg & Make a Wish"
# posted by : 9:47 AM
: 9:47 AM
Sally wanted to leave the smell of Tag body spray and moth balls behind, but her ass was stuck to the leather couch due to the melted Werther's Originals that had fallen out of Jerry's pocket.
# posted by : 9:51 AM
: 9:51 AM
Kendra giggles with glee at the prospect of being the smooth slice of brie in a leatherbag sandwhich
# posted by : 10:01 AM
: 10:01 AM
"so ya wanna be an actress, honey? have ya had the gymnast audition? ya gonna need a vat of lard & a pint of penicillan."
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
Monica desperately tried to come up with a suitable lie after grabbing the biceps of Allister McO'AsianTats. "Oooh, you've really been hitting the weights haaaard, haven't you?" Her friend, meanwhile, just rescued her drink after it slid off Big Pussy's descending belly.
# posted by : 10:08 AM
: 10:08 AM
"We gotta special mix we use to get ready for Kendra, here. It's a tablespoon of coke, 6 crushed up Viagara, 5 crushed up Cialis, 2 tablespoons of Gold Bond Powder, 1/4 cup of talcum powder, a 1/2 teaspoon of paprika, all of it dissolved in a big glass of Metamucil. You drink half of it and get the skirt to pour the other half into your ass. You're likely as not to erupt from every orifice, but you get a solid hard-on outta it."
I bet a million to one everytime you roll these two ageing douche bags they come up snake eyes.
Ditch the loosing hand Marcia Brady!
Kanji swizzel sticks anyone?
Ditch the loosing hand Marcia Brady!
Kanji swizzel sticks anyone?
jason priestly is literally dying for the chance to restart his career with the new 90210.
# posted by : 10:45 AM
: 10:45 AM
Now that these Satan-possessed clones of Bob Dylan and Regis Philbin have surrounded the blonde vixen, many questions arise:
1. Will her delicate porcelain skin be able to withstand the withering friction from their alligator thick hides?
2. How well can a supercentenarian's heart cope with the strict coke/viagra/fixodent regiment that these two have to be on to make this a worthwhile effort?
3. Can sex really feel all that good when all of your sperm has turned as dusty as the dehydrated milk that they surely chase their Tom Collins with?
The only reassuring note in this whole debacle is that if either one of these deep fried Mickey Rourkes still has enough juice to knock up Ms. Perky-Tiny-Tits, they'll be long dead before they have to pay alimony.
1. Will her delicate porcelain skin be able to withstand the withering friction from their alligator thick hides?
2. How well can a supercentenarian's heart cope with the strict coke/viagra/fixodent regiment that these two have to be on to make this a worthwhile effort?
3. Can sex really feel all that good when all of your sperm has turned as dusty as the dehydrated milk that they surely chase their Tom Collins with?
The only reassuring note in this whole debacle is that if either one of these deep fried Mickey Rourkes still has enough juice to knock up Ms. Perky-Tiny-Tits, they'll be long dead before they have to pay alimony.
There's something incredibly unsettling about this picture. Something terribly, terribly unsettling. Is it Trucker Carl, or his friend Sex Offender Ed? Hard to say. I just know whatever's going on here is wrong on a whole lot of levels.
I refuse to caption this pic on the grounds that mocking these two upstanding citizens would undoubtedly lead to bad karma. The kind of karma that sets your house on fire and stabs your hand onto the bar before shooting you in the mouth.
I would also like to add that these two gentlemen are obviously handsome and virile enough to attract young hotts of a Grace Kelly caliber with natural ease.
Sirs, may I be excused?
I would also like to add that these two gentlemen are obviously handsome and virile enough to attract young hotts of a Grace Kelly caliber with natural ease.
Sirs, may I be excused?
Lord Xenu we bring you Carrie Underwood as a sacrificial offering.....
And Xenu wept.
And Xenu wept.
# posted by : 11:44 AM
: 11:44 AM
Kendra looks on glowingly as Joey "Big Guns" Rizzuto recites the Articles of Confederation from memory as Tony "Leatherface" taps it out in morse code on his shoulder.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
Kendra is the new activities director at "Axe Medows" Home for Retirerd DoucheBags
# posted by : 12:27 PM
: 12:27 PM
Sienna Miller-Hot was not used to the old-style acting methods of staring at the camera employed by HarveyKeitelBag and JamesCaanBag.
# posted by : 12:59 PM
: 12:59 PM
Very bagnanimous of you baron von goolo.
Keep the flame alive should we all perish in suspicious ways.
I figured DB1 would be the first to get two in the hat.
Besides, I'm already in the WPP.
Keep the flame alive should we all perish in suspicious ways.
I figured DB1 would be the first to get two in the hat.
Besides, I'm already in the WPP.
hahaha
Hello Johnny Halliday
what are you doing here?
try to find it in wikipedia.
Hello Johnny Halliday
what are you doing here?
try to find it in wikipedia.
# posted by : 1:59 PM
: 1:59 PM
the guy on the left is jean-philippe smet, aka "johnny hallyday", self introduced a the french elvis ; has begun in the 60's, has sold millions of CD's ; the "hottie" close to him is his wife, "Laetitia"; he told to the father of laetitia, when she was born he would marry her and he did it ; "johnny" lives in switzerland in order not to pay french taxes ; he is one of the best friends of current french president which is one of the best (th only one?) friends of W.bush.
"Johnny" is what we call in France : "un blaireau" or a "beauf". Us translation might be :douchissime.
voila voilou, salut les ricains;
FroggyStyle
"Johnny" is what we call in France : "un blaireau" or a "beauf". Us translation might be :douchissime.
voila voilou, salut les ricains;
FroggyStyle
# posted by : 2:44 PM
: 2:44 PM
George A. Romero Presents
A Fish Slap Production of
A FIlm By Oompa Prompa
"Night of the Living Douche"
A Fish Slap Production of
A FIlm By Oompa Prompa
"Night of the Living Douche"
# posted by : 3:44 PM
: 3:44 PM
"French Elvis" whispers something to blonde hott.....it's some Scorpions song about "taking her far away."
"You'd like.....a Halllll-yyyyyy-dayyyyy."
Goon on the right says, "Yo, youse better laugh at dat, girlie! Dat shit's gold! GOLD I tells ya! Youse pretty an' all, but youse wouldn't look too pretty wit' yer nose all busted up, wouldya? Yeah, dat's right: LAUGH! Dat's a good broad....."
"You'd like.....a Halllll-yyyyyy-dayyyyy."
Goon on the right says, "Yo, youse better laugh at dat, girlie! Dat shit's gold! GOLD I tells ya! Youse pretty an' all, but youse wouldn't look too pretty wit' yer nose all busted up, wouldya? Yeah, dat's right: LAUGH! Dat's a good broad....."
Haha, the Guy on the left is a French singer names Johnny Haliday and the girl in he middle is... His wife, Laetitia !
This guy is a legend in France even tho most of the people consider him as kitsch and quite dumb.
By the way, Johnny met Laetitia through his best friend, who's Laetitia's father.
This guy is a legend in France even tho most of the people consider him as kitsch and quite dumb.
By the way, Johnny met Laetitia through his best friend, who's Laetitia's father.
Johnny Holiday gets a pass. Ok he has been pulling hot women for longer then most of you have been alive and he is married to this one. Lets see anyone of you top that in your 70s let alone in your 20s.
# posted by : 6:03 PM
: 6:03 PM
I once ate teryaki slim jims for an entire week, finally when I was able to shit it looked strikingly similer to these 2.
# posted by : 8:17 PM
: 8:17 PM
wow, I retract my shit... this old trout pulls some tail. John Halliday, I salute you. I hope you do more with your wife than The Hef does with his Playmates...
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06EwfnB6kxbk5/340x.jpg
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06EwfnB6kxbk5/340x.jpg
Kendra knew the classic manther trick and kept switching her roofied drinks for theirs. She skipped out of the club after snagging their rolls and popping the little blue pills.
Holy shit, that's Sean Penn on the left and Danny Aiello on the right. Looks like they're at a Meth'n Mojito night at some dive bar.
# posted by : 10:57 PM
: 10:57 PM
Those guys are french stars. The one on the left is the most famous french singer (Johny Haliday) , in the middle it's his wife and on the right it's a french billionaire.
# posted by : 12:14 AM
: 12:14 AM
Reading the comments,I'm glad to find out that I'm not the only french layabout to roam on the site! And for once I see a certified true french baggery on the site, this has to be fucking Johnny!! Yeah, just call him Johnny, everybody would know you're talking 'bout this old fuck down here... As previously said, he 's indeed pretty much the french Elvis, but he's only a legend for those who want him to be. His Rock'n'roll has been lame as hell for almost 30 years now. He's just performing mainstream crap to sell records and live his fake US grand'pa biker life. This guy is crap!! On top of that, his wife and him are stupid as fuck! Johnny putain! sur HCwDB!! MDR! Vive la France! well...
# posted by : 2:17 AM
: 2:17 AM
I didn't know Danny Bonadouche'bag and Tom Jones hung out, and bangs chicks together?
# posted by : 2:54 AM
: 2:54 AM
old geezer tanbags have cornered the hott and regaling her with tales of their hijinks in Boca.
# posted by