I have to go with my "douche senses" and call not a douche.This chap is just ahead of our time with his style.





On second thought,he is a douchebag.
 

Wow, this girl is beautiful.
 

I would say that a San Francisco 'Bag would be somewhat influenced by the Spontaneous Prose of The Grateful Douched, and hence would look like this guy.

Costello/Nerd'Bags as pictured are possibly also prevalent, however.
 

This guy looks like he goes home, puts on an 80's vintage Elton John album, and shoves a 14 inch lubed rubber dong that he calls "Rocket Man" up his anus.
 

He might be going for a look similar to the guitarist on A Flock of Sea'nozzles.
 

nice attention to detail with the nail polish, hottness!
 

What? HIM worry?
 

Him : "I don't feel so good."

Her : "By the time he figures out that I slipped him a Mickey, I'll have half of his trust fund."
 

having actually habitated there for a while, all 'Frisco 'bags should be considered gay 'bags until proven otherwise.
 

She is elastic-topped-halter-girl-next-door goodness.

He is the keyboard player for a local alternative Polka band.

Can we call douche on that? Possibly, although it depends on his intended level of irony.

Speaking of irony, she has given me a 9 iron in my pants.

DB1, I'll be super-impressed if Virgin doesn't mind you serving Train in their store. Or is this more of a BYOURC (bring your own ubiquitous red cup) situation?
 

This is pure mission st S.F. hipsterbag. I feel like I'm back at the Beauty Bar already. Oh and the nail polish is not a mistake. You are witnessing the hots thinly veiled attempt to convince on lookers that she doesn't even have to try to be hot.
 

he looks more like a "Cheap Trick" coverband-bag... & hott is way to hot for SF, not wearing enough sweaters, sweater vests, wool skirt or knee high socks
 

Hhhhhhott-er-roni,
the San Francisco treat!
douche...bag's phoney
his comb-forward
aint--so--neat



sorry
she would make a tasty morsel, indeed.
I think her shoulders are broader than his
 

Sporadic facial hair. Sporadic nail polish. SPORADIC DOUCHE!
 

@creature

All this talk of skirts and knee-high socks has me excited. Is that wrong?
 

Joey Pants must've left something other than his heart in San Fransisco.
 

I'd imagine they are one in the same, but this guys looks a lot like a Williamsburg Bag.
 

You are correct bigdealbag. This guy could be labeled as the hipsterbag for sure. However, I think that if you want to go Big Bag hunting you need to go to Union Street throughout the weekend.
 

Fifteen minutes to late for a Joey Pants reference. Damn your eyes, internet porn!!!!
 

Is the "I'm soiling myself/I smell something funky" expression the new shocker?
 

what's up with the white sunglasses for kids (and um...'bags) these days? And yeah, white belts too. Don't get it.
 

@ Mr. White

nothing wrong at all, in a band-aid on the knee, cello playing sense.... wow, now I'm gettin' revved up! Dianne Feinstein where are you?
 

Is he wearing one of those wallet holsters?
Nothing screams more douchebag. Quick draw douchebag.
 

Scare-a-douche you are correct:
Douche has the look of someone who just soiled hisself. Or that someone just waived a turd under his nose to revive him.
She rocks but must have low self esteem to be sitting in the same area code with this pud.
 

Dammit. I was going to go with the Joey Pants ref, then with the nail polish, and I missed out on both.

Ya snooze, ya lose, I guess.
 

Take a good look kids:

This is what it looks like when Art School Douche hits 50.

Blondie hott is either his sister from out of town or daughter from when he tried straight life and was married to a bull dyke from Fresno for 6 months.
 

One of the finest girl-next-door hotts in awhile.
 

This wanker looks like the drunken clone of Jeremy Davies, who plays Daniel Faraday on "Lost."

His consternated look is the result of being served a Shirley Temple, instead of a Cosmo.

I like what the hott is drinking...a Scotch on the rocks...shows she can handle my man-business with particular aplomb.

DB1, see you in S.F. on Sunday, bra!
 

Oh DB1, such a good call on the representative SF bag. Bag with inflated sense of intellectual self importance. He thinks he's being alterna-clever, when, in actuality, he's scrote all the way.

Only quibble I have is that the Hott does not qualify as SF. There are no ladies here even remotely attractive as she. It's pretty bleak on that front frankly.

F. McBaggin'
 

Is he really a douche or just a terrible dresser? The case for wearing that outfit suggests desperate cries of "look at me! look at me!", but his face says "just put me out of my misery".

She's adorable in a girl-next-door kind of way.
 

They both look like members of the, San Franciso chapter of the "I'd rather be somewhere else with a big hard cock in me"-Club.
 

in 1992, i wore those glasses.
 

Him,

Hipsterbag -
Fagbag -
Geekbag -
Pee Wee and Elton's bastard son bag -
Got beat up weekly in high school bag -
Definately still a virgin bag (maybe not his anus)

All of the above and more, and by "more" I mean I want to spin his cute little helicopter bowtie till his very large head pops off in a streaming jet of blood.

Her,

Girl next door scrumptious perfection.

God I want to suck on her baby toe.
 

She kinda reminds me of Dana Delaney...
A lot actually...

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
 

While I do approve of this nomination as a SF dbag, he'd be the rarity rather than the norm. Sadly, most dbags here are just like everywhere else.

Also sadly, Sucka Free doesn't have hott on her level. Most women in SF are still in art school (and generally look such) or are older....cougars.
 

Or maybe Jan Smithers from WKRP.

I always thought she was hotter than Lonnie Anderson anyway.

I need to get back to work.
 

a self-loathing Paul Begala sharing a moment with Obamagirl at Hillary's concession party...
 

That's cute. This girl dressed up her pet marmoset and took him out for a night on the town. Widdle bitty white tie, big white "gwasses", she even hand knitted him a beautiful turquoise sweater. That's is just... fucking... adorable. I hope Mr. Peepers appreciated all the effort. He looks happy.

- Douchey Smurf
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

FUCK'N CUNT!









I'd say that covers it huh? Keep drinking cutie.
 

Apparently Spike Jonze is still trying to get over his divorce.
 

Here in beautiful SF there are 2 forms of 'bags to be on the lookout for, each with different characteristics in it's natural environment.

First there is the Marina 'Bag. You will find this trust-funded, yacht sailing, beer pong playing douches as bars such as Bar None, the Matrix and HiFi on Union st. They are like the douches you'd see on this site; popped collars and UBC's abound amongst this toxic group of filth. Dmitri the lover is reputed to lurk in the Marina district, so, umm, kick him in the nuts if you get the chance. Their hotts will usually be quite good looking, but extremely bleethed out and vapid.

Then, if you stumble your way over to the mission, you may stumble on the slightly more rare, but equally scrotacular Hipster 'bag. The hipster bag is marked by being a 25 year old male with the body of a 13 year old female jammed into clothing that was meant for an 8 year old boy. They will wear thick horn-rimmed glasses, have ridiculous combover haircuts with chin pubes and drink PBR whilst discussing either 1. Some band you've never heard of 2. iPhone technology they don't understand or 3. How lame everything in the world is except for them. These 'bags are passive/aggressive, so unlike the marina 'bag, they will not challenge you to a fight, rather, they will pfah in your general direction if you've never heard of that '70's euro-punk-electronic band that they're spewing about. Their hotts will not be hot either, unless you enjoy the confusion of androgyny.

I hope you know what you're in for, Mr. DB1. Hopefully I'll see you at the signing.

Snoochies,
Shia Ladouche
 

Gimme the fuck'n cliff note version. FUCK!
 

@ chowda

SF douches= 2 kinds: boat/marina douche & bookish indy rock douche

SF hotts=not (aside from the financial district secretary "lookit my haut new shoes" bleeth)
 

She has that look that says, "I just soiled by thong with a shart, but no worries, this doucehbag already smells like poo."

Or maybe I'm just bitter because chicks like this never gave me the time of day in junior high or high school.
 

@ creature
nice synopsis.

@ chowda
Sorry for the verbosity, but the DB1 needs to know what he's up against.
 

Thanks.
 

Even better here is an image of hipster bags in the wild:

http://www.lastnightsparty.com/misshapesnye/slides/IMG_9484.JPG
 

Fisher Stevens is really losing it...
 

This bag is clearly a deconstructed, postmodernist visage of the dichotomous yin-yang that is 1950's America. He is both the greaser and the accountant at the same time. The pleasantville and the cold war. The atomic bomb tester and the friendly suburban ice cream truck driver.

He is, in short, a synchronic convalescence of douche.

The hott, on the other hand, clearly loves me. I should get her number.
 

DB1~

Our city anticipates your arrival.

Along with the Marina and Mission douchebags, you should be able to witness a nice sampling of the bridge-and-tunnel variety right outside the Virgin store. Union Scrote, I mean Square, attracts 'em.

If you are really fiending for your daily douche quotient, check out the nearby Ruby Skye nightclub and the Redwood Room in the Clift Hotel.
 

judging by this photo, san francisco is an insidious cauldron of pretentious, indie, self-important, color-coordinating, buttplug-inserting, closeted douchey hell. and small boobies.

god speed, DB1.

-haberdouchery
 

Not a bag, just a fag; looking bored to death whilst the friendly pop-tart ties to manufacture her own little "Will and Grace Moment".
 

Elvis Costello / David Byrne Bag?
 

hope to come check out the reading on sunday... and as a resident of SF i'd say this picture pretty much sums up the hipster douchebag essence of the area.