Tuesday, July 22, 2008
He Just Bangs Bitches and Makes $4.2 Million
Like Emerson, Thoreau and Andrew "Dice" Clay before him, the eloquent and poetic lyricism of He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks has moved the human soul with the longing and pathos of our collective existential journey. While macking on the honeys at the same time.
HJBB&D does so once again, with this short, poetic verse:
----
Status: HJBB&D has to make a few more fone calls and within 12-14 months my net worth will be $4.2 Million.
I dropped outta college...big waste of time
hmm what should I get first a porsche? jaguar? lamborghini? how about all 3 within a year? Exactly.
----
Exactly, HJBB&D.
Exactly.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 3:06 PM 
Comments:
he's right. college is a big waste of time for him. what he obviously needs is 2nd grade remedial english, if he can handle it...
This kid and his *women* look like East European poor white trash.
If so, I could see him with 4.2 million ruples in a year or so.
That would buy a couple of rolls of toilet paper. Right?
If so, I could see him with 4.2 million ruples in a year or so.
That would buy a couple of rolls of toilet paper. Right?
He must have posted this shortly after his promotion from front counter cashier to drive-thru attendant.
Could we please boycot this douche until he actually has a hott in a pic with him?
Haven't seen one yet.
Haven't seen one yet.
If his claim is even half true, I hope one of those "fone calls" is to someone that's going to shoot me in the fucking head.
DB1,
Does this guy send you his own stuff or are you getting this from a Facebook or MySpace page? And, while it seems that he has an endless supply of "Bitches" I have yet to see one that is even in the same league as the Bleeths that normally occupy the pictures. One would think that a Mac Daddy like this could pull hotter chicks even without the money.
Does this guy send you his own stuff or are you getting this from a Facebook or MySpace page? And, while it seems that he has an endless supply of "Bitches" I have yet to see one that is even in the same league as the Bleeths that normally occupy the pictures. One would think that a Mac Daddy like this could pull hotter chicks even without the money.
# posted by 
: 3:31 PM
: 3:31 PM
College IS certainly a waste of time--why PAY to have delirium tremens and see snakes IN CLASS when you can do the same thing at home for free??
Hes problay jest a fyou fone calls away from a job as an editer of a mayjer magaseen.
Hes problay jest a fyou fone calls away from a job as an editer of a mayjer magaseen.
He just bangs bitches and by "bitches" he means a tube sock that's crustier than Walter Brennan in RIO BRAVO.
well to be fair, he had that one nice looking blonde in one of his other pics. she had some nice tits and a cute face going on.
(although "had" could be replaced with "stood near")
either way this guy is 100% poo.
(although "had" could be replaced with "stood near")
either way this guy is 100% poo.
# posted by : 3:38 PM
: 3:38 PM
He just bangs bitches in his happy place whenever his cellmate wants to play "Sardine Under Whale."
crucial head, you have started my new favorite game here. Good man.
crucial head, you have started my new favorite game here. Good man.
He just bangs the holes in my office wall after he's done with his janitorial tasks for the evening.
@Anon, 3:23 p.m. -
He's there.....
[# The Crustacean 2 3
# He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks 2 3 4
# Millennium 'Bag
# Deathtongue 2]
He's there.....
[# The Crustacean 2 3
# He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks 2 3 4
# Millennium 'Bag
# Deathtongue 2]
I am leaving work now, so I will go home, log into this page, and watch him bang the muffler of his Datsun Luv Truck while drinking Jolt Cola.
Maybe HJBB&D can hire Quaker Scrote's blonde to handle the "fone" work for his distribution company. I'm sure he's a "symble" of success for her.
if this delusional little creep received one nickel for every rip directed at him on this blog, in 12-14 months he may be just short of $4.2 M. he may bang bitches, but, there has been no evidence that any are hott.
I've seen enough of this dung encrusted chimp... let's put him in a cage match with Donkey Douche or the Limey, so they can tear his greasy lil' dome off! pathetic dweeb
I've seen enough of this dung encrusted chimp... let's put him in a cage match with Donkey Douche or the Limey, so they can tear his greasy lil' dome off! pathetic dweeb
# posted by : 3:53 PM
: 3:53 PM
Yeah, I may be going out on a limb here, but I think this girl is kind of cute, in a way that is wholly inappropriate for HJBB&D. I'm surprised he's not with visibly trashy girls more often.
Taint no HC here. She's 2AM hot. Hell make that 4AM hot.
Are you sure this isn't a before and after shot from a transgender site?
Maybe Shia LaDouche can do some SF splain'n here for me.
Then creature can give me the Cliff notes.
My apologies to sinfonian. I guess we were typing at the same time.
Are you sure this isn't a before and after shot from a transgender site?
Maybe Shia LaDouche can do some SF splain'n here for me.
Then creature can give me the Cliff notes.
My apologies to sinfonian. I guess we were typing at the same time.
some please find this guy on facebook and give us all his profile name. I would love to smash him in the head with a baseball bat full of nails.
# posted by : 4:10 PM
: 4:10 PM
Forgive him, he must be used to eastern European hyper inflation. His net worth in 12 months would be $4.2m, just like any other toilet bowl cleaner in Belarus.
# posted by : 4:20 PM
: 4:20 PM
He just writes about himself and takes pictures. I doubt there's much drinking, and probably even less banging.
Good work dropping out of college. It's apparently not working (or maybe he just failed all his Lit classes?).
4.2 million? Bwahaha! That's in Yen, right? I think even Fabio with a bad case of priapism isn't capable of earning that much money in 12-14 months. But ya never know: maybe he's servicing clients on both sides of the gender fence.
4.2 million? Bwahaha! That's in Yen, right? I think even Fabio with a bad case of priapism isn't capable of earning that much money in 12-14 months. But ya never know: maybe he's servicing clients on both sides of the gender fence.
# posted by : 4:31 PM
: 4:31 PM
4.2 mil oughtta be enough to buy a washcloth to scrub that fuzz off his chin.
@Baron:
That According to Jim bit had me rollin'.
@Baron:
That According to Jim bit had me rollin'.
# posted by : 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM
Even if he made 4.2 million, he doesn't seem smart enough to keep it. Three crazy-expensive automobiles in one year? He seems to collect only depreciating assets (aka LIABILITIES!). If he makes 4.2 million in one year, at this rate he'll be at least a half of million in debt in a year and a half. How come people don't realize that wealthy people didn't get that way by SPENDING MONEY?!
He just bangs bitches and eats Top Ramen.
So career outlook = insurance salesman. Nice job buddy.
The douchebag loves the trappings of wealth, but not wealth itself.
So career outlook = insurance salesman. Nice job buddy.
The douchebag loves the trappings of wealth, but not wealth itself.
@chowda
She's not a hot, but she's not a tranny either. This guy makes Corky from Life Goes On look like a Nobel prize candidate.
Cliff notes:
her- meh
him - blech
She's not a hot, but she's not a tranny either. This guy makes Corky from Life Goes On look like a Nobel prize candidate.
Cliff notes:
her- meh
him - blech
# posted by : 4:38 PM
: 4:38 PM
He might be talking about 4.2 Zimbabwe dollars-- which comes out to 14 cents, U.S.
# posted by : 4:46 PM
: 4:46 PM
He's right. College is a waste of time if you want to work at Wal-Mart the rest of your life.
Loser.
Loser.
# posted by : 5:06 PM
: 5:06 PM
@shia 4:38
Soooo
I should consider myself fortunate not to be familiar with Corky's make-believe online life? Whew!
OK OK, I'll grant you she's OK.
She's now 1AM hot.
Soooo
I should consider myself fortunate not to be familiar with Corky's make-believe online life? Whew!
OK OK, I'll grant you she's OK.
She's now 1AM hot.
until i see this guy somewhere other than his mom's cinderblock basement or his grandmother's 1976 sitting room, i refuse to believe that he makes more than 12k a year, or whatever they pay these days at the 10 minute oil change place. I mean, he can't even afford a trip to vegas like the other douches.
This guy is such a joke. He may be the most fascinating character on this site, and i don't care if his hotts barely qualify. His poetry more than compensates
This guy is such a joke. He may be the most fascinating character on this site, and i don't care if his hotts barely qualify. His poetry more than compensates
I don't have a lot to add that hasn't been said in spades about this gentleman, but I'll say this, those whom HAVE money don't TALK ABOUT said money. They got where they are by working hard and while they might be a little ostentatious, they're never over the top. The jackasses that get a little dough and drop $100 grand on a Mercedes are the types that get said Mercedes repossessed in six months.
In conclusion, a man doesn't discuss money, he goes about his bidness and doesn't spend lavishly. Also, she's cute if nothing else.
In conclusion, a man doesn't discuss money, he goes about his bidness and doesn't spend lavishly. Also, she's cute if nothing else.
good point anon 5:57 -
I bet he just saw that infomercial with the two midget twins on a yacht and got a little excited
I bet he just saw that infomercial with the two midget twins on a yacht and got a little excited
Remember, peeps -- that's $4.2 NET. Because he just bangs bitches and rocks the Quickbooks. He's the Herbert Kornfeld of Facebook.
# posted by : 6:29 PM
: 6:29 PM
Nice, he'll be able to afford to get some implants from his scrote to complete his sparse scrotal chin region!
I bet he is going to be so mad that he cries when the salesman at the Porsche dealership refuses to believe that he is old enough to drive.
# posted by : 7:07 PM
: 7:07 PM
@Chicago douche spotter-
a few of us hunters have innoucously be-friended him on facebook and send in his updates as he maintains his awesomeness...
I am under the impression that he knows about the site and doest care nor will he change either way.
Army of Douche-ness
a few of us hunters have innoucously be-friended him on facebook and send in his updates as he maintains his awesomeness...
I am under the impression that he knows about the site and doest care nor will he change either way.
Army of Douche-ness
# posted by : 7:29 PM
: 7:29 PM
@desert scrote --
YES! You got there first, man!
I was reading 4.2 MILLION DOLLARS and thinking... I wonder what the exchange rate from US to Zimbabewe dollars is.
As of 07/23/08, $1.00 US is worth $33,288,144,660 Zimbabwe.
So....
$4,200,000 Zimbabwe is worth $.0.0001273 US. Given his elegant standard of living, that's about what I'd expect him to have...
YES! You got there first, man!
I was reading 4.2 MILLION DOLLARS and thinking... I wonder what the exchange rate from US to Zimbabewe dollars is.
As of 07/23/08, $1.00 US is worth $33,288,144,660 Zimbabwe.
So....
$4,200,000 Zimbabwe is worth $.0.0001273 US. Given his elegant standard of living, that's about what I'd expect him to have...
I realize that what I'm about to say is flame worthy, but I'm starting to feel a little sorry for this kid....
# posted by : 8:00 PM
: 8:00 PM
That's a pretty close estimate - net worth $4.2 million. Really? Not just $4 million? $4.2?
As for the hott(??), I think she just needs some help with her styling. Don't worry, though - once HJBB&D makes his $4.2 million net worth, he can drop a few G's her way to get a makeover.
Oh,wait... net WORTH... so, we aren't talking cash, necessarily. Hmmm... I wonder if HJBB&D knows?
As for the hott(??), I think she just needs some help with her styling. Don't worry, though - once HJBB&D makes his $4.2 million net worth, he can drop a few G's her way to get a makeover.
Oh,wait... net WORTH... so, we aren't talking cash, necessarily. Hmmm... I wonder if HJBB&D knows?
# posted by : 8:09 PM
: 8:09 PM
The reason that no "Hots" have been posted with him is because I can't find one. I'm the one who bravely added him on facebook, and I update DB1 whenever he updates. The issue is that hot women don't want to be seen with this asshole. Although she's not bad, if she wore a little mascara, waxed her brows and got a decent hair cut she could be a very hot Russian-esq girl.
If anyone knows how to copy facebook pics, I can send pics of him in action
If anyone knows how to copy facebook pics, I can send pics of him in action
# posted by : 8:12 PM
: 8:12 PM
He just bangs bitches and rubs his granny's bunions so that she'll allow him to keep living in her basement.
He just bangs bitches and then wakes up scraped and sore from sleepfucking the neighbor's cat again.
He just bangs bitches and is rudely awakened by his alarm clock.
Damn.
Those lawns aren't gonna mow themselves.
Damn.
Those lawns aren't gonna mow themselves.
He just bangs bitches and weeps silently to himself for the potential he will squander yet again tomorrow.
BLING BLING! Y'all can hate all you want 'cuz HJBB&D ain't mad atcha!! HEY!!
He's livin' the dream and it's the summer of HJBB&D!!!
BOOYA BITCHES!!
Peace out. I gots fone calls to make to gets ma net worths risin'. I gots mad liquid capitals son!
I don't need no fancy college learnin'! You jellous you ain't got the rainbow sailboat.
He's livin' the dream and it's the summer of HJBB&D!!!
BOOYA BITCHES!!
Peace out. I gots fone calls to make to gets ma net worths risin'. I gots mad liquid capitals son!
I don't need no fancy college learnin'! You jellous you ain't got the rainbow sailboat.
# posted by : 8:26 PM
: 8:26 PM
He just bangs bitches and takes the Rainbow Sailboat to a magical fairy land where the rivers are made of SoCo & lime, and golden unicorns give you rimjobs without getting ass breath.
He just trims bitches bangs and drinks RC Cola from the vending machine in the Supercuts breakroom.
# posted by : 8:53 PM
: 8:53 PM
He just begs bitches to take pics with him and stinks....
Yeah, first thing to do with his 4.2 mil is move out of moms basement.
Yeah, first thing to do with his 4.2 mil is move out of moms basement.
# posted by : 9:01 PM
: 9:01 PM
BVG you're killin' me, ".... golden unicorns give you rim jobs without getting ass breath".... I'm still laughing!
# posted by : 9:22 PM
: 9:22 PM
1. He just bangs bitches at the Humane Society.
2. He just bangs bitches and got his pud stuck in the hot tub outflow pipe. The suction was too "good" and wouldn't let him pull out. A plumber was called.
P.S. #2 is a true story-caught on tape
2. He just bangs bitches and got his pud stuck in the hot tub outflow pipe. The suction was too "good" and wouldn't let him pull out. A plumber was called.
P.S. #2 is a true story-caught on tape
He just bangs bitches on his way right out of the gene pool. He's bound to be a dead drug dealer well before 12 months pass. That, or rotting from syphilis. Hell, I give him 2 months, max.
# posted by : 10:19 PM
: 10:19 PM
Get in here now, don't be illin,
for I am the man, I'm worth four point two million.
My cars are from Germany, England and Italy too,
my girls are hot bitches, they only say moo.
I got me some fake diamonds, attached to my ear,
and a trade-mark snarl, that says I don't care.
Cinder-Block house, nothing but the best,
I don't have parties, I have Bag-Fest!
for I am the man, I'm worth four point two million.
My cars are from Germany, England and Italy too,
my girls are hot bitches, they only say moo.
I got me some fake diamonds, attached to my ear,
and a trade-mark snarl, that says I don't care.
Cinder-Block house, nothing but the best,
I don't have parties, I have Bag-Fest!
Sorry guys. I got a little HJBB&D touret's action happening here.
Or, BVG has laid down a gauntlet that must be answered.
G'Nite.
Or, BVG has laid down a gauntlet that must be answered.
G'Nite.
Sinfonian:
He just bangs bitches like Hillary and votes for the heads of two rotting, dead political parties.
He just bangs Democrats and shoots Republicans.
He just steals your money and gives it to Peter.
He just asks you to stay out of his wallet and to give from your own pious ass.
He just bangs bitches like Hillary and votes for the heads of two rotting, dead political parties.
He just bangs Democrats and shoots Republicans.
He just steals your money and gives it to Peter.
He just asks you to stay out of his wallet and to give from your own pious ass.
# posted by : 12:11 AM
: 12:11 AM
Sinfonian:
I don't mean to hate, but do you really think government is a GOOD thing? And what prove can you provide that the more government you the better off we are? Where? When?
None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
I don't mean to hate, but do you really think government is a GOOD thing? And what prove can you provide that the more government you the better off we are? Where? When?
None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
# posted by : 12:20 AM
: 12:20 AM
i agree with memphis local doucheworkers 421. i find this asshole to be utterly fascinating. peeking into his life is like glimpsing into the future, and what a bleak future it is!
he just bang bitches and goes on a shooting spree at the local shopping center, killing 2 and wounding 6 before turning his gun on himself.
-haberdouchery
he just bang bitches and goes on a shooting spree at the local shopping center, killing 2 and wounding 6 before turning his gun on himself.
-haberdouchery
# posted by : 12:24 AM
: 12:24 AM
Again, Sinfonian:
(love my keyboard tonight). I don't mean to hate, but do you really think government is a GOOD thing? And what proof can you provide that the more government there is, the better off we are? Where? When?
None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
And yes, I am a girl who can't type very well, and hates McCain and O'Bama. But do you think our taxes are safe in the hands of Republicans or Democrats?
(love my keyboard tonight). I don't mean to hate, but do you really think government is a GOOD thing? And what proof can you provide that the more government there is, the better off we are? Where? When?
None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free. – Goethe
And yes, I am a girl who can't type very well, and hates McCain and O'Bama. But do you think our taxes are safe in the hands of Republicans or Democrats?
# posted by : 12:26 AM
: 12:26 AM
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9130304
he just bangs bitches and displays abs on facebook....
he just bangs bitches and displays abs on facebook....
# posted by : 3:16 AM
: 3:16 AM
Hey, asshole ron paul
keep your fucking political shit where it belongs.....NOT HERE
I don't come to this site to get pissed off at political shit WE ALL GET ENOUGH OF THAT ELSEWHERE, got it, dipshit, now say some thing funny or shut the fuck up
keep your fucking political shit where it belongs.....NOT HERE
I don't come to this site to get pissed off at political shit WE ALL GET ENOUGH OF THAT ELSEWHERE, got it, dipshit, now say some thing funny or shut the fuck up
ron paul? yeah ass dripping, we come here to get away from idiots and politics.
As for bangs bitchs the only 4.2 million he's got is std's and zits.
today I bow to krishna and ask that bitch banger is beaten to a pulp with a 30 lb bag of hair gel and drywall screws.
As for bangs bitchs the only 4.2 million he's got is std's and zits.
today I bow to krishna and ask that bitch banger is beaten to a pulp with a 30 lb bag of hair gel and drywall screws.
He just bangs his head against the cinder block walls above his vinyl couch and watches Fairly Odd Parents reruns.