Thursday, July 17, 2008
Ice Man
Must you make the Douche-Face, working man's Val Kilmer?
Ubiquitous Red Cup has taken over your shorts, and even though Jenny's going wild on Spring Break and I can't pin you as a super-douche, there's still something about you that makes me itch like a post-coital Lohan.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:53 AM 
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What dude DB1??
I see ASS!
And I see Ass Cheeks!
I would scale the Andes in the middle of winter on the backs of six barefoot Down Syndrome children so I could destroy Machu Picchu with a Co2 stuffed knapsack just to be bound and gagged by the same corrupt Peruvian policeman that allowed the shipment of coca leaves to her ninth grade PE teacher.
Mmmm. Coca leaves.
But seriously, that ASS !!!
I see ASS!
And I see Ass Cheeks!
I would scale the Andes in the middle of winter on the backs of six barefoot Down Syndrome children so I could destroy Machu Picchu with a Co2 stuffed knapsack just to be bound and gagged by the same corrupt Peruvian policeman that allowed the shipment of coca leaves to her ninth grade PE teacher.
Mmmm. Coca leaves.
But seriously, that ASS !!!
That ass is spectacular. I could bounce quarters off that thing into her cocktail which she is so daintily holding.
# posted by 
: 9:02 AM
: 9:02 AM
"One More Round" indeed.
I love the way his sunglasses accentuate those awesome bangs.
- Douchey Smurf
I love the way his sunglasses accentuate those awesome bangs.
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 9:03 AM
: 9:03 AM
Best idea I've heard in a while, howard stern.
Seriously, that hott is incredible. Someone needs to put working man's Val Kilmer in the same place as the real Val Kilmer and leave the hott for everyone else.
Seriously, that hott is incredible. Someone needs to put working man's Val Kilmer in the same place as the real Val Kilmer and leave the hott for everyone else.
# posted by : 9:15 AM
: 9:15 AM
I stand to be corrected, but after deciphering the hieroglyphics on pouty’s chest, it reads:
“Straight to Weekly, and possibly to Monthly based on my smooch, white sunglasses, ridiculous tats and most importantly, bubble cheeks.”
We must not loose sight of this ass.
“Straight to Weekly, and possibly to Monthly based on my smooch, white sunglasses, ridiculous tats and most importantly, bubble cheeks.”
We must not loose sight of this ass.
Kilmer should have stuck with the cool tattoo on his back from The Salton Sea.
# posted by : 9:24 AM
: 9:24 AM
Everything Jordan is missing from the earlier post... this Hott has.
That is all.
That is all.
# posted by : 9:29 AM
: 9:29 AM
Mmmmmm... nice butt... makes me think of riding heaven to Las Vegas by way of Wynona...
# posted by : 9:33 AM
: 9:33 AM
You could use the curve of that butt to calibrate scientific instruments. And by "calibrate" and "instruments," I mean, extending the pink tape measure.
At what point will douchebags just start walking around with their shorts pooled around their ankles? Seriously, dickwad, they're almost at your knees. Why not just wear two 80s-style leg warmers like you clearly want to?
At what point will douchebags just start walking around with their shorts pooled around their ankles? Seriously, dickwad, they're almost at your knees. Why not just wear two 80s-style leg warmers like you clearly want to?
Her ass' magnificence is in direct inverse proportion to his massive douche-ness.
I would do the mathematical calculations, but it makes MY BRAIN HURT.....
I would do the mathematical calculations, but it makes MY BRAIN HURT.....
nice asspipe honey! nice blue-steel/magnum face val-bag.file this one under h for toy. real genius was a killer movie.
# posted by : 9:52 AM
: 9:52 AM
something about the white border of the douche's swimsuit just makes him look like a cardboard cut-out.
Oh and ass.
Oh and ass.
# posted by : 10:09 AM
: 10:09 AM
“Timmy, a practicing Freemason since his early teens, insisted that the three circles inscribed over his left tit were in no way analogous to cock rings. Luckily, Lisa new better.”
I would lay siege to Troy for 10000 days for 20 minutes alone with that backside. Ai chihuahua.
No clever comments come to mind for that pouty faced douche. He's like a canker sore - annoying, but it takes more than this to rile me up. I think I'm becoming desensitized by this site. (sigh)
No clever comments come to mind for that pouty faced douche. He's like a canker sore - annoying, but it takes more than this to rile me up. I think I'm becoming desensitized by this site. (sigh)
I wouldn't mind being the guy to rub sunscreen on her backside.
And by sunscreen, I mean, copious amounts of my man-juice.
For him, a spike-ridden baseball bat is too good for him. I'd settle for just chaining him behind a horse about to run in the Belmont Stakes...over razor wire.
And by sunscreen, I mean, copious amounts of my man-juice.
For him, a spike-ridden baseball bat is too good for him. I'd settle for just chaining him behind a horse about to run in the Belmont Stakes...over razor wire.
She needs to be made to sit in a plaster mould so that latex love butts can be cast and distributed to men everywhere for speed-donging. I would mount mine under my desk. Literally.
@darksock
I think you're on to something. I don't know what the naughty bits of the Real Dolls are modeled on, but I definitely see a candidate for ass model here. Or they should allow you to bring in casts of various body parts of your own for assembly. Do you think HBT would mind giving me a cast of her HBT?
I think you're on to something. I don't know what the naughty bits of the Real Dolls are modeled on, but I definitely see a candidate for ass model here. Or they should allow you to bring in casts of various body parts of your own for assembly. Do you think HBT would mind giving me a cast of her HBT?
its ok, Douchetoevski, I'll do the calculation
8+8+6+10+10+9=51/6=8.5
------------- -- - ---=1.21
5+9+0+8+10+10=42/6=7.0
this is a very high degree of separation between the hott, and the douche. She's a goddamned 8.5! She needs to be paired up with a douche of higher caliber, someone say, like A.D. from the weekly, or Bra!, from the Hall.
This douche is not in her league, he will lose her, because he is one. If he would have thrown in even a Scissors move, or wore some bejebus bling, he'd be right there.
But, potential douchiness can only be estimated, I have to go on what is THERE, and, that would be...
wait for it....
ASS!
8+8+6+10+10+9=51/6=8.5
------------- -- - ---=1.21
5+9+0+8+10+10=42/6=7.0
this is a very high degree of separation between the hott, and the douche. She's a goddamned 8.5! She needs to be paired up with a douche of higher caliber, someone say, like A.D. from the weekly, or Bra!, from the Hall.
This douche is not in her league, he will lose her, because he is one. If he would have thrown in even a Scissors move, or wore some bejebus bling, he'd be right there.
But, potential douchiness can only be estimated, I have to go on what is THERE, and, that would be...
wait for it....
ASS!
@anon 9:40 - funniest i've read in a week.
i'd drive to Pawcatuk, take an iron ring, put it in my mouth, fill my mouth with cement, attach a chain to the ring, string the train across the Acela tracks, and wait there for the train to pull all my teeth out for a chance to gum a flip flop like the one she wore to the travelling circus where she picked up this choadswank.
how is it that choadswank has no visible scars on that punchable visage?
Arsenio Balls
i'd drive to Pawcatuk, take an iron ring, put it in my mouth, fill my mouth with cement, attach a chain to the ring, string the train across the Acela tracks, and wait there for the train to pull all my teeth out for a chance to gum a flip flop like the one she wore to the travelling circus where she picked up this choadswank.
how is it that choadswank has no visible scars on that punchable visage?
Arsenio Balls
# posted by : 12:13 PM
: 12:13 PM
working man's val kilmer looks like sean william scott's even stupider younger brother.
one more round indeed, luscious.
one more round indeed, luscious.
# posted by : 12:31 PM
: 12:31 PM
You could bounce a quarter off her ass and get two dimes and a nickel back as change. And you should just plain bounce a cinder block off that asshole's forehead.
what comely shaped hindquarters... the Platonic ideal of, how do you say BVG, callipygian...
as for Ice Man, it simply looks as if he is chewing a dog turd
as for Ice Man, it simply looks as if he is chewing a dog turd
# posted by : 1:29 PM
: 1:29 PM
I bet when sweet Jenny's delicious salad shooter produces a dainty little movement, it comes out in a cute little jewelry box wrapped in gold foil complete with a bow right before an angel gently glides by to whisk it away from her magnificent bottom.
As for pud face? It's simple, he has a face you love to hate. DOUCHE!
As for pud face? It's simple, he has a face you love to hate. DOUCHE!
That ASS was made for eatin'
I am starting to understand why the Islamofascists what to impose 11 century dictates on women and have them covered from head to toe: Seeing such a fine piece of tail with that kind of douche is bound to drive a decent man insane or question the cruelty of God. For that ass with that douche is nothing if not cruel.
kingcityDouche
I am starting to understand why the Islamofascists what to impose 11 century dictates on women and have them covered from head to toe: Seeing such a fine piece of tail with that kind of douche is bound to drive a decent man insane or question the cruelty of God. For that ass with that douche is nothing if not cruel.
kingcityDouche
# posted by : 5:14 PM
: 5:14 PM
Ice Man is definitely a Douche-in-Training, his expression is getting there. Decidedely, not with Sweet Cheeks, because I have plans to tug on that braid during a game of Ride That Cowgirl.
This douche ass to ass his face ass ass ass fire extinguisher ass ass ass ass ass ass with a jackhammer ass ass ass ass ass ass.
Jesus Christ in a chicken basket,her goddamn ass gives me motherfucking shit fuck bitch ass Tourette's motorboat motorboat motorboat bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb assassassassassass whooooooo ass nickel dime new car whooop ass shit fuck.
# posted by : 7:53 PM
: 7:53 PM
(L to R): Beautiful ass, stupid worthless tattooed douchebag ass.....
Why oh why does she subject herself to such a choad? I wonder if she'd smile more broadly if he were to take a crowbar to the left jaw? Maybe that would knock his lips back into line.
Why oh why does she subject herself to such a choad? I wonder if she'd smile more broadly if he were to take a crowbar to the left jaw? Maybe that would knock his lips back into line.
Her ass was amazing...and I appreciate all the love. Thanks guys:)
PS. you should have seen her friend as well.
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PS. you should have seen her friend as well.
# posted by : 11:58 AM
: 11:58 AM << Home
