These chicks have bathed in Prompa oil.
 

I'm calling St. Paddy's Party on this pic.
 

Hey, who the fuck found this picture of me? And why am I on this site? I'm here to make fun of douchebags, not to be made fun of!! What the fuck!?

Oh, wait, that's not me.

Man, acid flashbacks really suck.
 

Maybe that's Carl Spackler's work.

"This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff."
 

I'm just calling GIANT 'BAG on this one. St. Patrick's Day or not, only a GIANT DOUCHEBAG would dress and "style" his hair like this.
 

What gave it away Crucialhead?

Ivan Drago's Lucky Charms Shirt?

The blonde looks dirty in a naughty naughty way.
 

Yeah, um--what crucial said--or if this is the home team's colors and it is the ACTUAL DAY OF THE GAME...

...But then he would be left with one really weird haircut.
 

"This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the master's douchebag."
 

"Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my.....spikes....."
 

Ivan Drago knows where the party is.
 

I agree with Crucial Head. This has to be a St. Patrick's Day photo. The guy is still a complete choadwank. And blondie is making me feel all tingly down there.
 

Dammit, beat to the Dolph joke again...
 

I hope he keeps his flame tats away from his head - no need to start a grass fire.
 

Also beat to the Dolph reference. Damnit.
 

t-shirt too small, sweat band on the wrist, and the "mean face".
the main ingredients for cool guy, or Major douche?

Ding ding

MAJOR DOUCHE
 

Karl lost his job as the Phillie Phanatic after the meth lab explosion.
Karl must now die for boob blocking blondie.
 

Must be saint patty's day, cuz the girls are dressed in green too. But you know what pisses me off? It pisses me off that someone who thinks throwing those retarded hand gestures is cool is also sporting a mohawk. What has the world come to? Is nothing sacred?? Well, I guess that's what actual Mohicans felt when they saw the lower-class Brits wearing them for the first time. This guy should have his bag scalped. I bet if he were ever in a mosh pit at a real punk-rock concert, he'd get torn apart. You know, sometimes I think st. pattys day should just be called Douchebag Day, because it makes it somehow acceptable to look like a tool, and this makes it impossible to make out douchebags from normal men, just increasing the 'bags chances at actually procreating.
 

He would be a good mascot for the new, "Slim Jim Chipotle with Lime"-ad campaign.
 

I wanna come up with something clever to say, but I've finally gotta get around to killing myself now. Bye.
 

sonofabitch.

for the last 2 months i've been trying to get my lawn to look like this choad's hair.

what's his secret fertilizer?
 

The girls are not into this tool. Look at their faces. They know he's a joke, and they're taking the picture so they have proof when they tell the story later. Well done, hotts.
 

The girl on the right looks like a muel chewing razor blades. I'd still tap it though, as long as she doesn't smile.
 

Irish Spring Lucky Charm Douche. The hotts can't resist that Ulster Poo scent or the blinding power of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers? Someone get in there stop it before the hotts Bleeth to death.
 

(ring....ring...)

God: Hello

St. Patrick: Hi Boss. Got a minute?

God: What is it now, Patrick?

St. Patrick: Sir, it isn't that I'm trying to sound ungrateful, but....well...I don't know how to say this...

God: I know, I know...A Douchebag ruined your day again, right?

St. Patrick: Sir..this was no ordinary douchebag...This choad was incredible! SnotHawk, Camaro-inspired ink, bag hand gestures...and his stench of Axe was so strong that it literally turned a Hott bright orange! I know they're all your creatures, but how did you come up with this one?

God: On the eighth day, I rested. On the ninth day, I got bored, so I created all that is douche. Hang on... (pause) Still there? That's my Son on the other line...he wants to know why all these bags insist on wearing his likeness on their shaven chests. I've gotta take his call. We'll discuss your Lepradouche later.

(click)
 

Blondie is smokin' hot. Definitely do-able.

Brunette? No so much. Too much fake tan and boring hair.

Leprechuan is very douchey - particularly the earring, wristband, and tattoo.

Is it just me or do these guys who think they are such rebels realize just how much they all conform to the same look and style as all the other 'rebels' out there? It's like those goth people too - they all look the same, yet think they are such non-conformists. Douchebags -- all of them!
 

"Faith and Begorrah, you cut ma soap into little pieces!"

"Aye, what are ye going to do now, douchebag?"
 

I bet if Bob Ross were alive, he'd love to paint some happy little trees on top of that head.
 

I dub him "Erin Go Bra!"
 

Cyboman!
 

@Pfah...

Secret fertilizer? You don't know? C'mon, when you pile manure that high you're bound to grow some of the greenest grass on the other side of the fence. My side is just some weeds and pebbles that hurt my feet when I walk barefoot.
 

just got home to find my shiny new copy of hot chicks with douchebags the book.

my wife said "i cant believe you bought that" and i punched her in the face and retreated to the basement where i will remain all night perusing this masterpiece.

props to you db1 for crediting all the regulars on the blog.

this book shall last me at least 4-5 bowel movements. and cause at least 4-5 vomit sessions. thank you good sir, your vision is a reality.
 

I HAVE RECEIVED MY COPY OF THE BOOK THIS EVENING.

HALLELUJAH.

TIME FOR BEERS AND SNACKS. THE PHONE HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.



I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW.
 

I'm beginning to wonder about this site. Since I've started blogging here, I have
1. sprained my ankle
2. replaced the transmission on my van, and
3. Put a screw through my brand new 250 buck Avon Venom motorcycle tire, two days before a 760 mile road trip...
I'm starting to think that the douche mocking Karma is biting me in the ass, can this be so?
If so, would that make me a douche, myself? Do I keep mocking , in defiance of Karma, or stop, to see if it also does?
I'm having an existential crisis, here, I need veteran advice....help!
 

And I will echo bcs' thanks to DB1 for including the repeat 'baghunters in the Special Thanks section. I am grateful for the mention, and again commend DB1 (whose pic finally appears, btw) for his tireless efforts.

I raise my URC in your honor, sir.

And fuck Fish Slap. Although he does not appear featured, seeing Black Betty once again in her areolic glory makes up for his absence. In spades.

And I wasn't aware, but the pics don't lie.

Rehab = sausage fest

Damn.
 

All he needs is one of those little white tubelike practice tees sticking up out of his skull, and you could smack drivers off his cranium.

Or you could play it down, back in your stance, and hit a 200 yd knock down 4 iron and send him off to drool and shit his pants in a pair of Depends.
 

St Patricks Day, in the largest fold of Xenu's foreskin.
 

that dude is an asshole. It would have to be a st. paddys day party. he has a leprechaun on his shirt and both hotts are wearing green.
 

douchebag has a date with a John Deere. . . .
 

Is the girl on the right HBT?
 

Hair like that should come with a chinstrap.
It looks like he stole the hat from an organ grinder's monkey.
 

Thought someone may have brought this up earlier, but fuck dis shit. It’s another late night at the office… so, before I leave, I must add a brief thought.

Steven King should sue this grease-chugging ‘bag for defaming one of his classics. Indeed, a work of art amongst short story lore. Unfortunately, the movie came along and cannibalized King’s work. Nonetheless, we all know the Lawnmower Scrote worked for the god of shepherds and rustic music. From what I gather from this picture, the only thing rustic about this mechanized douche is the music he’ll be making with his bunghole after being roughly plowed by Peter North sheathed in belt-grade coarse sand paper.

Yep, looks like another Wild Turkey evening for me.
 

Ch-ch-ch-CHIA!
 

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@Bagnanimous:

One: I’d be remiss if I didn’t say your comments wouldn’t be missed from this hallowed ground.

Second: Sprained ankles will heal with loads, and loads, and did I say lots of Vicodin? Transmissions, though a pain in the ass, can be put back together with some TLC and a well ventilated garage this time of year. And a tire, although a badass Venom, can be replaced using George W. Douche’s piece of shit tax rebate.

Third: And most importantly, the douche will not give in. From the beginning, we see it with amoeba blow-outs in the primordial soup, to Billy the ‘Bag in the Wild West to Bra! The Scrotes do not weep for a lost bodyshot. The Chodes do not throw out the LA Looks because the mandana’s are too tight. And the ‘Bags will certainly not stop the love affair with abs, ink, and frosted tips just because there has been a run on the Almighty’s gold bling at Wal-Mart. They. Keep. Coming.

For this reason, in the name of Cicero, I implore you to soldier on.

(And can I see a picture of the bike?? 750 mile road trip on a hog? Count your blessings ‘baghunter!)
 

To all golfers out there who would like to tee off on this doucheball: remember to replace all divots.
 

its all natural turf now but wait til he has to go field turf, they will need to dig out the current turf and sod and put down sand a cut up tires...well in his case it won't be so bad, the blonde may be dirty but the brunette is devious in a pleasure and pain kinda way...
 

..
 

there's an older one of the bike...
Yeah, I can't stop mocking these fucks now.....that'd be quitting
I hope to make a bag tag amongst the Yoopers this weekend, if I can get my tire fixed in time...they're like hillbillies without having to go to the Appalachians, and the chicks up there are pretty hot...
 

Damn you "el duderino"! - you beat me to Chia pet references. Nice.
 

It's Dolph Lundgren's bastard son- Douche Lundgren!
 

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@''ol bagnanimous....i am happy to see you've made the correct decision. we need you around here. keep up the glorious 'bag hunting brother! and nice bike!


so i also picked up my copy of the book yesterday. i made the girl at Barnes & Noble crack the box in the back room and bring out several copies to the shelf. she said they had gotten them in on Tuesday.

the book is an amazing piece of work. absolutely hilarious. the shout-outs were a very nice gesture as well. thanks DB1. i am sure we'll be getting more traffic to the site thanks to the book, and that's mostly a good thing. i am sure we'll have our regular, ever-present anonymous making stupid comments, but hey, that's life.

i hope all of you regs have a great 3 day holiday weekend full of fireworks and beer. happy 4th all.
 

Ha,ha,ha,ha...snort...snort...ha,ha,ha...this is some funny ish.
 

Douche Lundgren...good one...
 

Douche Lundgren...good one...
 

I think anon 9:29 may be right, I believe the girl on the right may indeed be the Holy Blue Triangle. Either that or her twin sister. Either way, I would Erin her go bragh. She is magically delicious.
 

Soylent Green is douchebag! Soylent Green in douchebag!
 

Oh fuck no, that's not Holy Blue Triangle. Yes, the skin color might match. But HBT does not go out in public without streaking her hair.

And the rack isn't nearly firm enough to be her.

The smile is all wrong. HBT does not grin like the Joker, she flashes a coquettish smile that turns your balls to jello.

And if it WERE HBT, even this massively unaware douche would push the blond trollop aside to feel the creamy thighs and soft bosom of she who is AWESOME!
 

Very nice bike. Remember, in times of crises, I would ask "WWDB1D?"
 

She's not HBT, but she is related to Millennium-Bag from HOS.
 

Soylent Green is made of douchebags!!!!
 

I really want to search his haircut for lost golfballs...
 

''Waiter, I didn't order bean sprouts with my douche...''

May Xenu damn my cheap ass; I added 2 sets of guitar strings to my Amazon order so I could get Super-Saver (Super-Slow) free shipping...shit...

BCS- you finished yet? Overnight me your copy...be cool, man....

-DarkSock
 

....

Rough.
 

Dolph Lundgren's evil twin, Ivan Baggo.
 

Reggie tried to tap into the "Going Green" movement to impress chicks, but he failed to grasp its fundementals.
 

Isn't the girl on the far right the well known HBT? I think it just might be...
 

My God, that blonde hott is fantastic. Please show me more pics of her. And by more pics of her I mean let me cover her body with 2" mushroom tattoos!
 

Lawnmower man bahahaha!!

DB1 your douche-naming ability is uncanny, It really is what makes the site for me!
 

It's not everyday that a bag like this pops up. I wonder if this scrote is wearing Zoobas too?
 

I do believe that's Guile from SF, ready to deliver some well-placed SONIC DOUCHE's