Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Pimpit
Many people still struggle to understand the concept of the Douchebaguette -- the Female Douche aka The Bleeth.
The Bleethed Hott remains in possession of the sexy boobie suckle thigh, but has become so polluted from proximity to "Pimpit" types, that you just know she's a huge pain in the ass.
This does not mean one still wouldn't desire to lick her upper arm area like an unmedicated Michael J. Fox on Taurine. Only that redemption for the hott is no longer possible. And we must lament the dark destructive force of douchescrotery on her once fair and pure bosoms.
Or something like that. I need a coffee.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 9:51 AM 
Comments:
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Have we reached the point at which we can summarily execute anyone sporting the fauxhawk yet? Please?
# posted by 
: 9:54 AM
: 9:54 AM
*sigh*...I shed one tear for blondie. One.
I'd like to punch Pimpit in the face so hard his aviators break in two.
I'd like to punch Pimpit in the face so hard his aviators break in two.
Nothing screams "hardcore pimp" like a Lord of the Rings poster on your bedroom wall.
Yo pimp, I see your lip already met my fist. Now put on a shirt that covers your nipple. Turd.
Yo pimp, I see your lip already met my fist. Now put on a shirt that covers your nipple. Turd.
Her left hip bone has rendered me desk bound for the next few minutes.
...Dockers don't do a good job of covering up office wood.
...Dockers don't do a good job of covering up office wood.
I'm disturbed by her resemblance to Paris Hilton, although it's probably intentional. If I block out her face, though, it's pure enjoyment.
i smell musical douche here.
he's a bad wanna-be hip-hop producer, or just some shit-stain with a bad pro tools set-up and a mic in his no-bedroom apartment.
he managed to convince her that they'll be the next black-eyed peas or some other god-awful crap.
one day (probably next wednesday) after the ecstacy wears off, she realizes what a dead-end talentless scrote he is, bails on his sorry ass, and starts giving rimjobs to the manager of the pussycat dolls...
just a hunch
he's a bad wanna-be hip-hop producer, or just some shit-stain with a bad pro tools set-up and a mic in his no-bedroom apartment.
he managed to convince her that they'll be the next black-eyed peas or some other god-awful crap.
one day (probably next wednesday) after the ecstacy wears off, she realizes what a dead-end talentless scrote he is, bails on his sorry ass, and starts giving rimjobs to the manager of the pussycat dolls...
just a hunch
Douchiest phone call ever. I can't believe it hasn't been posted here yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXPvN_OMZXc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXPvN_OMZXc
# posted by : 10:13 AM
: 10:13 AM
@douchetoevsky
Spot on. Although I think this girl has what it takes to be the next Fergie. And by "what it takes," I mean "complete lack of talent" and "willingness to slut it up."
Spot on. Although I think this girl has what it takes to be the next Fergie. And by "what it takes," I mean "complete lack of talent" and "willingness to slut it up."
You'd wear a shirt like that too if you had to mow lawns for a living. It's hot up in here bein' a lawn pimp.
nice corset, hooker.
i think Azuz Anak Ramlan's shirt actually says "ARMPIT", which describes how he smells perfectly. what a dipshit.
i think Azuz Anak Ramlan's shirt actually says "ARMPIT", which describes how he smells perfectly. what a dipshit.
What a nice pair of sores.
On their lips.
And on humanity's behind.
Is it just me or is her right hand extremely atrophied or does he have hands like Andre the Giant?
On their lips.
And on humanity's behind.
Is it just me or is her right hand extremely atrophied or does he have hands like Andre the Giant?
# posted by : 10:35 AM
: 10:35 AM
"You know it's hard out here for a pimp,
Mowin' lawns to pay the rent.
Ho's lookin' like Paris,
and a slutty Anna Feris.
You know it's hard out here for a pimp."
Mowin' lawns to pay the rent.
Ho's lookin' like Paris,
and a slutty Anna Feris.
You know it's hard out here for a pimp."
"...lick her upper arm area like an unmedicated Michael J. Fox on Taurine."
Okay, I have not LITERALLY "laughed out loud" at something I read on a blog in a long time--so hats off for that one.
Charlize TherClone here is also inspiring my own personal version of HandCock.
Okay, I have not LITERALLY "laughed out loud" at something I read on a blog in a long time--so hats off for that one.
Charlize TherClone here is also inspiring my own personal version of HandCock.
i think it says "Rimpit"...in which case that would be the perfect euphamism for this picture.
# posted by : 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
This bleeth is either a total freak in bed or a total prude who is too good to do anything freaky.
The former is my guess. Crazy in the head...crazy in the bed.
I still don't get the aviators and/or the large glasses on chicks. Why?
The former is my guess. Crazy in the head...crazy in the bed.
I still don't get the aviators and/or the large glasses on chicks. Why?
I could cure blonde bustier hott... however it would take repeated injections of "the creature" syrum
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
Is that a pencil in her pocket or is she just happy to see me?
(shivers)
My guess is that it's her vibrator, cuz she's tight like that.
-A Perfect Douchle
(shivers)
My guess is that it's her vibrator, cuz she's tight like that.
-A Perfect Douchle
# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM
I too loved the Michael J Fox line.
Somebody probably told him once he sort of looked like Nicholas Cage, so now, he's gonna go through life with one facial expression... total duh?, you don't think I am bad? you know the one look that Nick has, this guy wants that
She needs about ten pounds on her. Its never a good thing to see a girls ribs above her tits...it spells: ANOREXIA. Platinum blonde grabs the eye, don't know why, just does. That area right above her belt, needs to be suckled on
Somebody probably told him once he sort of looked like Nicholas Cage, so now, he's gonna go through life with one facial expression... total duh?, you don't think I am bad? you know the one look that Nick has, this guy wants that
She needs about ten pounds on her. Its never a good thing to see a girls ribs above her tits...it spells: ANOREXIA. Platinum blonde grabs the eye, don't know why, just does. That area right above her belt, needs to be suckled on
@anon 10:59
I'm goin' with that being a Crack pipe in her pocket...it explains the ribs above the tits
I'm goin' with that being a Crack pipe in her pocket...it explains the ribs above the tits
Apparently this Hilton Bleeth likes poor guys, because his bedroom looks like a Craigslist garage sale.
i just checked out the pimpit website (www.pimpit.com), and they sell some pretty shitty clothing for fighters.
they also sell, and i am not even kidding, a stripper pole for your house.
now this picture makes more sense. minus the LOTR poster. that's still got me befuddled.
they also sell, and i am not even kidding, a stripper pole for your house.
now this picture makes more sense. minus the LOTR poster. that's still got me befuddled.
its nice that his shirt can allow his skin to breath - aint technology somethin'. my question is, if youre wearing a shirt and your man-tits and abs are exposed, whats the point in even wearing a shirt at all? oh - that's right - so a name brand or logo can fill the bleak hole where in your soul where a personality should go
# posted by : 11:38 AM
: 11:38 AM
thanks for helping me clarify BvG....
my serum is syrupy.
as for black geyserheads shirt, I thought he misspelled Limpet... or is Limpit the condition in his trousers?
my serum is syrupy.
as for black geyserheads shirt, I thought he misspelled Limpet... or is Limpit the condition in his trousers?
# posted by : 11:48 AM
: 11:48 AM
Pfah:
My wife actually got me a stripper's pole for my birthday this year. I was pretty disappointed at first until she explained that I wouldn't be the one dancing on it. Then I got pretty excited.
Our nanny found it in its box the other day in my closet...awkward...at least she didn't see the vaporizer...
And don't NOBODY give me shit about havin' a nanny...I got four kids...shit...gimme a break...it's hard to be a daddy up in here.
My wife actually got me a stripper's pole for my birthday this year. I was pretty disappointed at first until she explained that I wouldn't be the one dancing on it. Then I got pretty excited.
Our nanny found it in its box the other day in my closet...awkward...at least she didn't see the vaporizer...
And don't NOBODY give me shit about havin' a nanny...I got four kids...shit...gimme a break...it's hard to be a daddy up in here.
I'd like to lead Pimp-scrote around by his lip ring. Then hook it to the nose ring of a large bull. Then slap the bull on the ass with a 2x4. First, I'd smack Pimp-scrote with the 2x4 first...
I bet she's fun.
Pimpit is probably a real drag to hang out with... he looks like he might try his hand at DJing.
- D.S.
Pimpit is probably a real drag to hang out with... he looks like he might try his hand at DJing.
- D.S.
# posted by : 12:10 PM
: 12:10 PM
@ sock -
4 kids, a nanny AND a wife that works the pole??? Why would we give you shit for living the American Dream?
4 kids, a nanny AND a wife that works the pole??? Why would we give you shit for living the American Dream?
At least we know four kids in this Grieco-ridden society will grow up being well taught regarding the dangers of 'bagging.
Well, five, counting my own kid...
Well, five, counting my own kid...
His "hand" Ha hilarious because it’s really freaking big his pecker probably looks like a cigarette in that abomination when he pisses.
There once was a girl from Cornell
She studied real hard and did well
She bleached her teeth
Turned into a Bleeth
And met her knight in shining hair gel
She studied real hard and did well
She bleached her teeth
Turned into a Bleeth
And met her knight in shining hair gel
# posted by : 1:42 PM
: 1:42 PM
my god...how is this possible? that charlize theron-hot could associate with someone such as this greasy gooch....i am truly sad that these tapout wearing, sleeve cutting douchebags are ruining our society
I wouldn't toss this Bleeth under
the bus just yet.
We're doing wonders with recycling
now a days.
As for the Douche, when you have a
cocktail wiener pop gun,
you better distract her with a big 'ol
PIMPIT T-shirt, clever yet
douchetastic
the bus just yet.
We're doing wonders with recycling
now a days.
As for the Douche, when you have a
cocktail wiener pop gun,
you better distract her with a big 'ol
PIMPIT T-shirt, clever yet
douchetastic
Has anyone commented on the disparity of their hand sizes here? Jesus, it's like freakin' Fred and Wilma Flintsone with his meaty paws vs. her delicate phalanges.
Man, what is up with all these architect commentators here at HCwDB? Samantha, can you explain the architect's attraction to this most noble sport of HCwDB hunting?
# posted by : 5:35 PM
: 5:35 PM
Et Tu,
Ask Frank Gehry and Michael Graves. Those fuckers steal all our work so I have nothing to do all day. What, with the economy slowing things down, I grew board of poking holes in my office wall with my t-square.
Soooo, naturally, I turned to 'bag hunting.
Ask Frank Gehry and Michael Graves. Those fuckers steal all our work so I have nothing to do all day. What, with the economy slowing things down, I grew board of poking holes in my office wall with my t-square.
Soooo, naturally, I turned to 'bag hunting.
Yep. She's severely, majorly hott.
I would volunteer to clean her place of residence after a burrito and ipecac party on the off chance I might run across a pube, which would be placed in a locket.
Hopefully this pube would be her's.
Anyway, this locket would then become the focal point of bizarre, moonlit rituals that are best left undiscussed.
I would volunteer to clean her place of residence after a burrito and ipecac party on the off chance I might run across a pube, which would be placed in a locket.
Hopefully this pube would be her's.
Anyway, this locket would then become the focal point of bizarre, moonlit rituals that are best left undiscussed.
# posted by : 8:58 PM
: 8:58 PM
Around here she's known as a bagger. Sack that head and the rest is fine. I suspect that a little duct tape will also be necessary for the pie hole.
He's a baseball seeking my bat.
He's a baseball seeking my bat.
# posted by : 10:57 PM
: 10:57 PM
Oh, and Samantha or 'Sock may have more insight but seriously, Architects are the most underpaid professionals in the industry with the most responsibility. Not that I’m bitter.
Shit.
No fuckin way.
I just finished paying my five years worth of college loans at the tender age of 31. Afford a house in LA? You must be joking homie.
AutoCAD can lick my BIM and Revit can Sketchup my Microstation. And by Micro, I mean Macro… at least that’s what I tell my wife.
Shit.
No fuckin way.
I just finished paying my five years worth of college loans at the tender age of 31. Afford a house in LA? You must be joking homie.
AutoCAD can lick my BIM and Revit can Sketchup my Microstation. And by Micro, I mean Macro… at least that’s what I tell my wife.
@ Crucial Head,
I"m an intern, are you suggesting I get out while I still can? Ha! SketchUP can InDesign my Rhino!
I"m an intern, are you suggesting I get out while I still can? Ha! SketchUP can InDesign my Rhino!
# posted by : 5:38 AM
: 5:38 AM
drew barrymore as two-face's sugar hott needs to sew up acne bindi's shirt. and then strangle him with it.
# posted by : 10:07 AM
: 10:07 AM
Shoot, you know what, I'll take her. Ten minutes of having my way with her and my healing hands will be nothing less than a baptism into the light of day.
YAYEH! Can I get a WOOO for all my sista pimpettes having the salt licked off their happy trails by douche tequila tongues!?
Ugh. They're like douche supervillains.
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Ugh. They're like douche supervillains.
# posted by : 9:25 PM
: 9:25 PM << Home
