I got to 0:36 and just can't take it anymore.

Upon hearing that Ireland has no douchebags, will they now begin to migrate there in an effort to hoard hotts??
 

wow, this would be a great video....if it was a parody skit or something. thank you for making my stomach turn so early in the morning. WORD!!!!
 

Uhhhh....That was the worst rendition of "I'll Be There" that I've ever heard. Michael Jackson must be rolling over in his grave.... I mean Hyperbaric Sleep Chamber.

~BJL
 

By the grace of god and my shitty Comcast connection I only made it as far as 0:40. That was still too much for me to handle before my first cup of joe.

The only good thing to come from this mornings post is that I'm tinking of changing my name to "Colin Farrell Sucks"
 

i've seen douhebags in Ireland....

allthough they're usually foreign??

i wish Crucial Head would douche me with his two throbbing, fun time bags...

that would be swell!!!
 

i like the irish, they make good whiskey. not so good on the food, but good whiskey.
 

Being an Ire-douche, Colin Farrell would fit in well at the Lawnmower Man St. Patty's Day party.
 

B4-4 or Before 4? as in the number 3? Because there are 3 of them? Good lord, Canada Sucks™
 

go find the 'GET DOWN ON YOU' video. now that one sucks.
 

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well that was just horrible.

i made it less than 30 seconds in, and shut it off. it's drivel. it's no talent. it's a showcase for suck. and i hate myself for typing the next sentence.

mariah carey did a better job covering this song.

ow.

i just had an cerebral aneurysm.
 

wow just wow .....wow i dont think i can come here anymore....just too disturbing.

wow
 

Before B4-4 (okay, that is an awkward clause), there was Bryan Adams.

The guy that sings in the "Free Credit Report Dot Com" commercial--while perhaps not a dcuche--is Canadian, and not exactly Beethoven. And he has hostilely taken over a significant portion of my cerebellum with that little jingle.

###

Oh, yeah--and that song in the video sucked!

Put down the joint and write your own music, pretty boys!!
 

Every time I think humanity can't get any dumber, I see something like this video and it proves me wrong. Jesus.
 

Give "In Bruges" a whirl... good flick. But yes the guy has made plenty-o-douche moves in his day.

That fucking video is laughable.

Can I just say it for the one thousandth time... don't be a wigga... you aren't black... you aren't "down"... you don't live a "thug life"... you are just some mixed up white boys who are trying to play at being a brotha. It's embarrassing guys. Stop it already. It's one step away from being a black face minstrel.

- Douchey Smurf
 

wow. made it through 40 seconds, then jumped immediately to the last 30 seconds.

because you just know that's when the vocal gymnastics really start to happen...and i wasn't disappointed. or, wait, i mean i WAS disappointed.

a man should never sing that high. and i mean high as in key, not weed. although you'd have to be pretty high to be in this "group".
and by high i mean stoned.

which leads me to ...

shit.

nevermind.

i should have heeded DB1's warning and just stayed away.

now my brain is all screwed up.





stupid Canada...
 

Come on, Oscar Wilde was a HUGE douche. Though I guess you don't count gay dudes.

But come on.
 

I steeled myself to try to make it through the whole thing, but even I could only get to 1:25. The thing is over four minutes long -- what are you trying to do, db1, singlehandedly destroy the minds and spirits of all your devoted readers in one fell swoop?

Please, for the love of Fish Slap (fuck him), if you haven't viewed the video yet, DON'T. Save yourself. Before it's too late.
 

In the middle ages Saint Douchious drove all of the douchebags, and snakes, out of Ireland. True story, look it up on Wikipedia.

Colin Farrel's not a douche, just a blazing asshole, so he's okay. He can absolve his sins with four hail Mary's and a 2-minute french kiss on ex-Pogues singer
Shane MacGowan
 

Protect who? Wigga couldn't even protect his nuts judging by that high pitch squeal.
 

That was some funny shit though.
 

I have washed my eyes with bleach, and stuck a red-hot poker in both my ears... yet I can still see and smell the stinky-poo douchebaggism that is that video.

I'm going to go cry now.
 

I do have to quibble with one point, though: I suspect Ireland is more douched up than this fellow would like to admit. Let's face it, especially celebridouche. We've already discussed the Pogues, but witness:

(1) Bono--yeah, we can rock out to "War" and pretend it ain't so, but it's true. I'll give him 0.5 star for at least trying to be a humanitarian, but let's face it, with their growing fame, Bono has become somewhat of a douche, complete with douche sunglasses.

(2) That chick from the Cranberries--one pleasant album, followed by songs featuring her barking about God knows what. Douche.

(3) Sinead O'Connor. Bald douche.

(4) Enya. Talentless new age douche.
 

@mr. white:

One good thing about Enya is she never leaves that castle so you could just buy her something off the sale rack at TJ Maxx and tell her it's the latest Paris fashion and she would believe it.

Agreed on Bono.

Douchey sunglasses indoors, fashionable Celebu-cause political agenda, etc.

Latin names like "Bono" and "Pax" and "Latrine" are also suspect.
 

FUCK, i almost forgot about Bono...

ROYAL DOUCHE!!!!!

believe me i hail from the land of which you speak...Bono is Scrotetastic!!!!

(so is Crucial Head,but in a sexy way)
 

I believe Ireland probably is douche-free. Potato famines have a way of doing that.
 

I'm listening while I type, the distraction helps keep my bile down....God, these guys are so gay,, gay guys probably can't stand them, either
Did anybody see thier Balls?, please, no more boy band Castrati vids, please, I implore you...what did we do to deserve this.... the horror, oh, the humanity, the humanity, Jebus, save us from Canadian falsetto singers, bring back gordon lightfoot if you want to torture us...thank god, its over...that was the hardest thing I'll have to do today
 

oh snap! Anon above just jogged my memory.

Bono could be Emperor to Greico's Lord Vader
 

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Bono is a HUGE douche, GOD that guy sucks! Somehow he has garnered respect from the international community. He must substitute douche dust for charm, otherwise, who in their right mind would accept diplomatic advice from a dude wearing tight black jeans and those silly signature shades. On the other hand... Stiff Little Fingers could save the world.
 

I made it to 1:17... but only after I paused at 0:46 to swallow my own vomit.

Mr. White, good Sinead O'Connor reference. Every time I think of her, I remember the old SNL bit where Phil Hartmann (playing Sinatra) called her Sinbad O'Connell. Funny stuff.
 

(peeking through the lowered blinds, dead bolting the front door, Double checking the locks, then verifying there’s a round in the chamber… pulling a little off the top of the Knob Creek on the desk… shaking head slowly)
 

@crucial head.....have fun with your stalker brother.
 

bono's a douche? i think not people. he's a self-absorbed planet-saver, but he's no douchebag.

maybe he flirts with a Stage 1 'Bag title, but there's no way he deserves the label of Full-On Douche.
 

i'll shake your head slowly or fast however you want me to C.H....
 

So I go to Wiki under direct orders from 'Sock and I find Colin Farrell went to the Gaeity School of Acting.

Then I remember Alexander...



I'm confused and scared this morning.
 

Excuse me, I need to go pee in my own eyes now.

*squash activates blast shield*

I'm gonna proclaim Colin Farrell as a recovering douche. He's seriously changed his ways since having a kid a few years ago. He's kept a low profile, stays indoors now, and is reportedly a very dedicated dad. Sure, he's left behind a legacy of scrote and is permanently inked with stupidity, but as Douchey Smurf points out, "In Bruges" is a helluva good film. I wish him well.

I wanna cut this guy a pass in hopes of encouraging other celebdouches to suck it up and follow his lead.

Criss Angel, you listening?
 

Yikes!

I did manage to get all the way through the video (mostly by ignoring the noise and watching the video). I'm not sure which is funnier: the 10-year-old constantly outdoing the boy band at beach parties and basketball in the video, or the fact that all the girls in the video ignore B4-4 for the 10-year-old, a theme that smacks uncomfortably of pedophilia.

You know you're douche material when your own music video mocks you!
 

Yikes. I threw up a little in my mouth watching that.
 

Bono is wrong..

stupid shades, leather trousers + big hair = age denial, crappy band, over inflated sense of self worth, stink of poo,

need i say more???
 

Oh my droogies, i cannot view this, as your humble narrator was once strapped in and forced to watch the B4-4 horrorshow to the point of tolchocking me gulliver and leaving platching like a babe...

....oh the horror
 

judging from my reaction time and then reading some of the comments, I would have to put the over/under of time spent watching the video at about 35 seconds...

and a bottle of Thunderbird to the person that can "enjoy" the entire thing...

so that was a big fuck you to anybody who sang that before.
 

And BTW -- since b4-4 broke up (I can guess a missing lip gloss was involved), two of the three formed a "classical" duo RyanDan.

Yeah, they're twins. If they sang pure tenor and restrained themselves from the vocal convulsions, I think they'd be great. Instead, they're the warbling, swooning music behind the closing credits of a Lifetime movie making twice-divorced, Shauna Sands wannabes get all moist.

Pity.
 

no douche in the wild? if'n there's pale, wool clad hotts, I'm agoin'... Guiness & whiskey too! sounds like heaven!

Ireland here I come!
 

@Crucial

food for thought...they are technically admirers until you receive the first present in some "organic" form, then a call to the police may be in order.

your attorney at law,

Robert Kardouchian
 

@pfah

Here's where we differ. As a mathematician, I submit the following equation:

"self-absorbed planet-saver" = douche

After all, isn't self-absorbed one of the very hallmarks of douchedom?
 

I saw these choadwhackers on TV the other day- they had an accent and I don't think it was Canadian. Me thinks Ireland is deflecting the blame.

I would rather manually lift the balls of a clown and powerscrub the taint with my spindly, dry toungue than have to push play on that video again.
 

Ireland is full of douchebags.
 

"YARRRR!! We have no douchebags here in Ireland! YARRRR!!!"

Wait, that's how pirates talk...

If Pirates = Irish, then there are no douchebags in Ireland. Alive, anyway.
 

Good God. The wigger choads in that video are reminiscent of the douchebags in Color Me Badd. And now I've got that damn "I Wanna Sex You Up" song in my head. "Tick tock you don't stop!" BLAAAARGH
 

All you folks who quit at 30 seconds missed the sight of B4-4 douche #2 hocking up a hairball at 1:02. The chick, however, is (predictably) uberhott, if a little weepy.

Ireland is packed with douches. Bono's just the tip of the iceberg. They're prep-school rugby jocks, and are brilliantly chronicled in the series of books by Paul Howard featuring the legendary Ross O'Carroll Kelly.
 

Canada is probably the wigger capital. I dont know why, but thats the form in which douchebaggery shows itself, at least where I am. I'm trying to convince the government to have a national wigger-hunting day to bring down the population so normal people can breed. they are to the human population what zebra-muscles are to our fish population.
 

I've seen Irish douchebags (preppiebags, to be exact) from Ireland. A whole group at one time, as a matter of fact. They were all wearing identical polos, has preppie hair style, cargo shorts, and sun glasses indoors. At an airport. Can anyone contest that they were, in fact, Ire-douche-preppie-bags...?
 

Just when I was beginning to think that Canada was just our benevolent neighbor to the north, unable to hang with us in so many ways, but bereft of the douche virus, DB1 introduces me to b4-4!! How foolish of me to doubt the douche-producing power of the sleeping giant to our north!

Those who didn't watch the whole video may have missed the mind blowing scene with the douches in wife beaters ... Nothing better than dudes with frosted tips in wife beaters, and by better I mean: producing the same effect as a gallon of carbolic acid poured in your eye!

And oh yeah ... the twins seem to be on a new musical career path (the third member pretty boy douche is now a "model"), they have cleaned up their uber-douche appearances, but believe it or not their music is ten times worse!

Sometimes I think DB1 is working for the other side ... otherwise how many of us would never have even heard let of, alone experience b4-4? ... and yes, I dare you to put up the vid "down on me!"
 

Come on..that cant be serious!
Is that a video from TRL in 1999?

I am embarrased for them.

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 

There are loads of douchebags in Ireland. Don't get me wrong, though-- it's an absolutely wonderful country, with fabulous people, but Ireland (along with Northern England and Scotland) seems to be the cradle of American White Trash civilization.

I was in the Shannon-bound Aer Lingus terminal of Heathrow one morning (half-asleep, about 8:30), when I spotted these two douchebags who were drinking MGD, wearing NASCAR hats and shirts, and wearing those off-color tiger-striped pants and I was thinking "My god, why would rednick douchebag hicks travel to Ireland?" and then I heard the accents...
 

I only made it to 0:27...WOW!
 

I keep clicking the link but all I get is "We're sorry, this video is no longer available".

NOT that I'm complainin', mind you...I'm not asking for a fix...laws no...
 

is it bad if you puke and shit at the same time?
 

Gotta defend Bono.

The sunglasses are for an eye condition, from what I've read. Apparently, his pupils are always dialated.

He's been with the same lady since the mid-70's.

He's never pointed at the camera with the Shocker hand signal.

No paint on tan.

Doesn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.

Hasn't once wavered on helping the poor.



Not a douche
 

as the guy who wrote to db1 i must defend my claim of the douche free emerald isle yes there are alot of jocks but that is about it everyone ignores them anyway bono is a scrote not a douche im startin a hunt tomorrow with camera in hand for douches in my home town ill post the results
 

Bono is absolutely not a douche. He has continually strove to bring attention to the plight of the poor, African debt relief, AIDS research, etc.

Also on the plus side - Ireland gave us "Teenage Kicks" by The Undertones, the greatest rock'n'roll record ever made.
 

I proudly watched the entire B4-4 video and then went straight to iTunes to purchase their entire back catalog for my own private collection. I put B4-4 up there with some of the greatest musical artists, like Vanilla Ice.
 

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

My retina's are stained for all eternity...

I have filled my ears with lead and cut out my tongue yet "I'll be there" mixed with my screams horror still echo through my whole being, why...why did I not heed DB1's warning, why, WHY!!!
 

after spending ten days in Ireland earlier this month, I have to confirm countless numbers of Irish douchebags, especially in Dublin, even though a large number are probably tourists, the rest of the country, especially south/sw coasts was full of very friendly people though
 

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I don't know Ciaran, Google says there 234,000 Irish Douche Bags. Some of them must be in Ireland. Sorry, gotta go with Google on this one.
 

anon 1:29: yes.
 

I gotta agree with Ciaran. I'm French living in Dublin since February and while the French society has been corrupted to the core by some of the most insinuous evolutions of the douchebag virus, no such thing is to be found in the very city of Dublin. Even people in the streets who look vaguely like bags will apologise for getting even slightly in your way while walking. Of the many countries I have visited Ireland has undoubtedly the most polite and well behaved society I've ever been acquainted with. Oh sure, there may be some, but probably either marginals or tourists.
 

Christ! I survived the '90's only to be bombarded by this new millenium garbage. Fuck Canada! By my math, they have 10:47 left on their fame clocks. I hope they come to my hometown so I can bolster humanity from the rooftop sniper's nest across the street. Jackasses.
 

Alright - I was laughing/suffering through the video for a while... all the way up until eunuchbag chimed in. This makes me cry from my eyes. I had to stop.
 

b4-4? why I celebrate their whole catalogue...

The Dans
 

shit, i meant the bobs...fuck me.
 

I think that the 1:09 of that unspeakable horror that managed to scorch my soul through my eyes may very well have given me cancer.
 

With some moral support from my girlfriend and some good old fashioned bravado, we made it to 1:40 before our heads began spinning like Linda Blair in a washing machine.

After the nausea passed, we both reached the same conclusion: could these guys possibly be any gayer? The spiked hair with frosted tips definitely scream out 'scrote,' but we have a feeling that the hotts are only in the video to give a weak impression that these guys aren't totally gay for each other. Total douchefags!
 

Absolutely classic douche-face at 3:29. Somehow I was able to see it through the blood pouring out of my eyes.

I think I have an ear infection.
 

I would actually like to see a video of these guys watching their own video for the first time--

"you really nailed that high note CJ"
"great head shake PJ"
"we are AWESOME!"
 

No irish douches? Go to an irish festival.....nuff said.
 

This video made me want to cut out my eyes and rip off my ears.
 

This video is kind of like 2 girls, 1 cup.
 

Wow, that is amazing douchery!!!
I didn't even know that Samwise Gamgee (a.k.a., Frodo's gardener) could sing like that!

Where's Gandalf?

Schmoot
 

i have to admit, this made my day... and nothing screams douchebag more than the half-on half-off shirt