I wonder if he learned all this class from being bitch banged in prison? I Wonder what he got busted for. Statuatory probably.
 

Guy claims to have dropped out or never enrolled in college (easy to believe) but also be worth millions (hard to believe).

Now he hints at a "big bust... that put his ass in jail..." Who was put in jail? This douchebag? His "business" partner? Just some friend? Makes me think this douchebag has something to do with the drug trade. Though, I don't believe he's worth the "millions" he claims.

My hope is that he IS involved with the drug trade, decides to make a big score and sells felony weight to an undercover. I wonder who's majesty he'll be saying hello to in the pen?
 

*groan*

Seriously? "Say hello to your majesty?"

Oy vey...
 

"Hello your majesty. I'll have to say that you're much smaller than I imagined. Also, I couldn't help but notice that you threw up right after I started to unbutton my shirt. Are you OK, little guy?"

-Every Girl that comes into contact with HJBBAD
 

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Oh, it's my dainty-handed little boy again. Hello, dear. Seriously, what is the deal with this irritating jerk? Does he have any idea what a putz he looks like when he goes into his act?

"I wonder who's majesty he'll be saying hello to in the pen?" Heheh, mc! Indeed.
 

"two blue cups and an exercise ball" -wird
 

Prank calling female radio personalities and asking for "Prince Albert in a can" is not making them say hello to their majesty.

Apparently money is all this guy cares about. Apparently you can make upwards of 5 dollars collecting bottles and cans off the side of the interstate. That can buy you a 40 ounce and a blow job.

Well played HJBBAD.
 

can i please get his myspace/facebook address? this guy is an f-ing legend.
 

I just realized that I really like this little blond while at the same time I'm absolutely repulsed by her due to her friendship (at least - ~~shudder~~) with this giant douchebag.

What the fuck are women thinking?
 

Where is the link to this guys profile, I have to see it for myself, someone post it please.
 

the women are thinking...the coke is free, but this guy is destined to stay small time...does he seem liuke the type to understand the axiom...dont get high on your own supply
 

Speak for yourself, DB1--I don't think I could ever get sick of this guy. I fear to look, yet I cannot turn away.

It took me a while to translate "reminiscine" from douche to English. At first, I thought it was some kind of topical cream for treating rashes. "Reminiscine: Take care of those embarrassing, pus-y blisters."

Hello, post-drugs and alcohol Kirsten Dunst. My, you've fallen so far since "Bring It On." Although I have a confession to make: I watched that movie for your succulent costar, Eliza Dushku. For you, not so much.

Yes, HBBAMGSHTM: You are indeed sh!t.
 

db1, with photos and prose as this, i will never tire of HJBBD.
 

August 1 last year was a major step for HJBBAD. See, he found true love while he was in jail, the Big Gay Pirate Ship told him this would be so.
 

Most obvious statement of the day - Any male who refers to his penis as "your majesty" has a problem.
 

A long time ago in a New Jersey basement not far enough away...

HJBBAD aka the 'King of Wishful Thinking' shows us how to live the la vida loca. The Greater Siren on his lap was drawn out of her reclusivity by his amazing half-assed hand gestures.

His choice of court Jester is excellent though, and none other than The Duke of Hurl, the rare UBC wielding Hermaphrodouche (thanks elitescrota3 for that one!) who's mullet once touched can cause one to immediately grow a molestache and watch ones bowels turn to paste.

I'd rather watch Samantha Ronson dance around naked in Chuck-E-Cheese with his/her/its penis tucked between its legs while blinking erratically and making kissy faces, causing me to curl up in the fetal position with my thumb stuck up my ass, than bow before this wanna be king of the douches.

'Cause i'm debonair like that.
 

he's got nothing...

he just drinks & jerks off while stuffing a hairbrush up his ass
 

this guy is a piece of work.

where are the hotts? quantity over quality...sometime I get that.

Little blondie...decent, but prolly becomes a porkchop after her expiration date.

To her right...is that his boy who was in prison? Happy to get out and celebrating with rare ass blue cup. Ain't nothing like a douchebag party, cuz a douchebag party don't stop!

Must get Excedrin and Bloody Marys...Orel's out.
 

Correction: he is not worth millions yet. He needs to make a few fone calls, first. Then he needs to wait 12-18 months.
 

This tool makes my body parts twitch, and by body parts I mean index fingers wishing for a trigger. I think that I may hate him. My only hope is that he is a piano prodigy and that his overly small and lotioned hands are adept at hitting multiple notes with passion and flair. Unfortunately, I think that his girl hands are more a sign of a small member and aloe kleenex wipes.
How many wigger coats does this thing have?
Nice gummer on the side troll. Jesus wept and now I drink. Out.
 

HJBBAD has fans in the military...

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/album.php?albumid=110&pictureid=613

He portrays the "lurking" douche in this one.
 

HJBBAD has fans in the military...

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/album.php?albumid=110&pictureid=613

He portrays the "lurking" douche in this one.
 

why are these guys compelled to lie about money. Look, community college dropouts don't get "rich" unless they became pro athletes, movie stars, or successful drug dealers. He is none of these things.

No real dealer would be dumb enough to brag about his operation on his myspace page. I think it is more likely that, in real life, this guy works at the window tinting shop and lives rent-free in his mom's cinderblock basement.
 

Hmmm. I'm still reluctant to give HJBBAD full douche status. He strikes me more as just a stupid little punk-ass. Not *quite* the same, IMO.

He is, however, very amusing with his delusions of adequacy.
 

Oddly, I'm less sick of HJBBAD than I was of Bra!!
 

I'm pretty sure the title should read "makes girls say hello to his majesty."

But then I'm a dirty fucking pedant anyway. :)

Blondie here is smokin'.
 

Hm. I guess the effects of getting your head shoved into the toilet too many times in high school, are quite lasting.
 

This guy needs to be castrated.
 

this guy...
i'm starting to think he may be a genius.

at being a douche.
 

@Anon, 9:19 a.m. -

I think that should read "Every man that comes into contact with HJBBAD".....not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.



On another note, at least we now know the ID of the "anonymous" hater-hatin' poster who's been lurking and ragging on us (sic) "niggas who dont be gettin' chicks":

"He Just Rags Baghunters and Drinks"
 

Nice party. Half the guests have to sit on the floor, or an execise ball.
Although, the blue cups do add some class.

The blonde looks better than Dunst. I know, that's not saying much.
She brings to mind Alex Keaton's youngest sister, all grown up.
 

He just bangs peasants and drinks the semen of royalty.
 

He just bangs bitches when the kennel is open.
 

He just bangs bitches and eats his Alpo from a UBC.
 

He just bangs bitches with large gums and finishes on his own face.
 

He just bangs goats and wears foolish coats.
 

HRMHJBBAD
 

He just bangs bitches and spoons with the male puppies post-coitus.
 

He just bangs bitches and drinks the blood of small toddlers.
 

He just wishes he banged bitches.
 

He just brags, bitches and beats (sorry, no d).
 

he just bangs bitches & blows tom cats
 

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He just bangs tube socks and drinks from the teets of bitches in heat.
 

He just bangs his pillows and drinks baby formula.
 

He just bangs cocker spaniels and drinks their vomit.
 

He jut bangs his left hand while sitting in Sasha's fisting sling.
 

I ju(s)t drank that last glass of Franzia too fast.

Time to pass out on the couch while watching Sports Center.
 

He just bangs Greater Sirens and wishes it were fish slap.
 

If someone can dig up his arrest record, that would be oh so entertaining to read.
 

who the fuck is this kid? can i bitch slap him around a lil bit?
 

hall of scrote! hall of scrote! hall of scrote...

-haberdouchery
 

he just bangs lil' asian peg boys & drinks their santorum
 

I just... no. His little wiry, non-muscled body... That annoying smirk... The half-hearted "gang" signs...

Just... no. This man cannot ever get laid. The universe will not allow it. What kind of black hole of non-self-esteem would a girl have to have?

Ick.
 

I cannot not get enough of this guy. Please please link to his myspace.
 

Did it really save him that much time to write "o well" instead of "oh well"?

O well.
 

@ cleopatra 10:18 am

Be fair. We don't know for a fact that he's not talking about his tapeworm.
 

This little pussy is hilarious. Keep 'em coming DB1.
 

@ Habberdouchery,

You may want to check out the real HOS sometime. This tic magnet's already been enshrined.
 

The "Big Bust" is almost certainly the night he got pulled over with half an 8-ball in the center console of his '98 Nissan Maxima. Maybe the cop who saw his twitchiness and suspected he may have drugs in the car was a female with big tits under her kevlar. Hence, the "Big Bust."

-Reshpeckobiggle
 

"o well...back to the money"

Who knew blowing the homeless could be so lucrative?
 

I am NOT sick of this guy! NO NO NO! He is full on hilarious-douche.
 

hey gents' (and birds). i shared these links with db1 after hjbb&d's last manifesto. nothing surprising, but amusing enough. our boy babak does appear to have a typically checkered adolescence, and apparently the millions he speaks of is an advance from some lucky publisher.

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/COURTHOUSE+RECORDS.-a0167207718

http://dating-asian-girls.blogspot.com/2007/04/hows-your-girl-life-by-babak-asadishad.html
 

He's Douchebag Chopra! He's just helping dudes get laid. A great humanitarian.

I see HJBB&D hit Rob Halford's yard sale and picked up a sweet pleather hoodie. Nice.

I'd Filthy Sanchez blondie.

@ Mr. White: I also watch Bring It On for Eliza Dushku. Yummy. Doesn't she have a new show coming out soon?
 

He's either the biggest douchebag we've ever known, or he's the greatest comic genius of our time.
 

Douchetacular!
 

@ratadouchie

She's going to be in a new show called "Dollhouse." I don't know much about it except it's created by Joss Whedon (of Buffy and Serenity fame) and slated to start in early '09, I believe. Truth be told, I'd watch a show that was entirely about her eating Cheetos and farting.

Late to the game, but here's one: He Just Bangs Kirsten Dunst's Autistic Sister and Drinks.
 

@riverdouche

Thanks for the links--I'm both laughing and vomiting now. More.

I vomit because this useless cock slap lives near-ish to me, and I also laugh-vomit at the idea that a low-end, illiterate pot dealer has written a book about how to get girls. And that somebody might pay him money for it.

On the other hand--and as DB1 can surely attest--nobody gets $1 million book deals other than Stephen King, Anne Rice, and their ilk, which makes his money boasting even more pathetic.
 

http://dating-asian-girls.blogspot.com/2007/04/hows-your-girl-life-by-babak-asadishad.html

Learn the way to douchemastery from Douchepak Chopra himself!
 

I am not sick of him AT ALL. Keep 'em coming!

But where does he like that there are only EXTREMELY AVERAGE chicks around? The midwest?
 

Is this HJBBAD's Facebook page? This douche, whomever it may be, is showing his abs. I'm surprised he's not pointing. At. Them.
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA.... seriously.... this guy.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Actually, I will get on my knees. Get on my knees and thank God I am not a Hott. Never have been, never will be. Life is good.
 

Thanks for the links to his police report, riverdouche. Northboro MA - there's a shock.
 

no thanks. just hit. as hard as you can.

you are all bright men. huge hematomas and contusions should be easily explainable. enjoy. most douchebags have not found a way to defend themselves.

typin's good; subterfuge is better.
 

Nope won't get tired. Keep the updates coming.
 

I fucking love this guy!!!
 

I'm NOT sick of this guy. i want to read everything he's ever written.
 

Please someone post his myspace or facebook page.
 

Being a girl, I have to say that if I was ever actually introduced to this scrotes' version of royalty I'd have to fuck his urethra with a staple-gun. And thats being polite.