Wow, her tummy is perfect.

Now on the douches...

I'm picturing my 64-pack of Crayola crayons (the one with the super cool built-in sharpener) and I can't think of a color that would match middle douche's face.

I feel sorry for the other guys because I think they got caught up in this douche monstrosity.
 

"H-h-hey guysh, watsh thish: I'ma imitate my tie....BLEUAGH!" **fart**

Nice matching hand tatts; I wonder if they used the same Bic pen and sewing needle in prison.

Hans on the right has to put a BB in his chin hole when he shaves so he doesn't shear off a doughnut of skin each time.
 

Black shirt, white tie, hand gestures
Yeah, the scrote’s a douche bomb.
 

Good god, I think I just fell in love with that girl.

Then I threw up because she's letting those scum-suckers taint her perfection.
 

nice double shocker, Blowout McHindouche
 

If he combed his eyebrows straight up, dude in the white tie would have no forehead.
 

Lee Chin takes one last drag on his menthol stick before dropping it into a puddle of gasoline.
 

RUFIO!

go back to neverland & apply that tongue to Michaels flaccid inchworm... like all good child stars

mouth breather on the right trims taint with teeth
 

Speaking of soft stool: Was Pfah visiting Greece or moving there?

Nice oblique Rancid reference, Ned.
 

Oh shit, it looks like another one of Michael Jackson's boyfriends escaped.

The white guy is unknowingly submitting himself to diseases once thought erradicated in the U.S. I wish I could laugh because it's true.

-Mountain Dewsh
 

As the Grim Reaper's hand forces the hand of X1 to smoke that cig, I hope he slits the throat of X2 helping him achieve that Columbian necktie he's trying to imitate.

Quartasian gets a pass, 'cause she's just here for the free booze.

The BallChinian also gets a pass, for being from another star system. Scrotius A.
 

I was the coolest kid in kindergarten with my 64 pack of crayons.

Tiebag is totally burnt sienna. Smoke bag probably smells like burnt hair. And mouthbreather bag is going to burn out after high school and start his career as a sign twirler.

I would paint a portrait of her with my teeth for the opportunity to have her deny my facebook friend request.
 

When the announcement went out over the loudspeaker that the ‘Catch the sprinkler splooge’ competition was about to begin, Herman and Oswald were the first to line-up in position.
 

X marks the douche.
 

aren't black x's on the back of the hand supposed to be a sign of being "straight edge"?
 

Banner day for the brunette hotts...
 

Our stool is softened, the tools' stool has been forcefully impacted.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to rescue that helpless young waif from the clutches of those choads. I think a "FREE TAG AND AXE" booth would cause them to drop her and stampede over for their spray samples.
 

I farted and thought it smelled really bad until I opened this page. PHEW! What a stench when it fully loaded.
 

dickfuck with the black shirt is practically like Weekend at Bernie's....
 

Proof once again that the douche phenomenon knows no bounds of ethnicity, creed or level of sentient activity, and anOTHER picture that you can smell: DB1 has invented the interscent. Thanks so much for THAT.

--VS
 

the best part about this is that two guys with X's on their hands, one is smoking and the other is visible drunk as hell.

i think the next frame of this is someone getting windmilled by an angry straight-edger.
 

Love those red Kool-Aid lips on blondie there.

Lemme, see....Puff, Giggle, Barf, and Gargle, the Four Doucheketeers.
 

All for one, and one for all....
 

these kids are not straight edge. they had been in a club or at a show. both places regularly use black x's to mark people coming in to regulate going in an out of the venue or who is unable to drink, because of age. think wristbands.

this was one of the reasons the straight edge movement took it up as a signifier. the straight edge kid would never be drinking and as such, would always have the x on his hand.

seven years of edge taught me some things.
 

And her breasts are the Similac twins.

Buckaroo
 

Great Swarm of Bleething 'Bag Hunters...

I have a question:

Is there a "Douche-Dicktionary" out yet? This site has created so many new and wonderfully scrotalicious words (thanks db1) that I can barely keep up. I find myself wishing for an easy to turn to (interactive, searchable and user-friendly) wikibleethia to quickly understand each and every subtle nuance of this place.

The reason I ask right now, is that I have new Bags 'n' Bleeths neighbors just begging to be on here. This group routinely embodies the fun new words I see here. The are an edgy hard-partying bunch centered on a very good looking young tattoo artist-paroled violent-felon-DUDE (with a "Wild" tattoo on his Cock - one of the Bleeths drunkenly told me) The bunch attracts tons of very Bleethed out (but still hot) young strippers and a hilarious gang of "stage-über d-bags". While they are fun to hang out with, the lure of mocking DB pics is too great to ignore...

I just wish I could describe them accurately (hand gestures and all)... ;)

- I seek your guidance, Oh Hunters...
 

Manimal,

I enthusiastically direct you to DB1's book. The Glossary of Terms, beginning on page 221, is an amazing resource. Just like the rest of the book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll choke a litter of kittens.

And remember, the holidays will be upon us quicker than you think! Just go to the top left corner of the main page to order your copies today!
 

@revved up like a douche

The Crayola color is "Motherfucking Fuckwitted Fuckface", but it is pretty hard to find, you need the 666 crayola assortment.

--VS
 

@ manimal 7:18

move out of the Jerz!


Oh & urban dictionary on the net
 

manimal:

Be nice to them. go to their parties. TAKE PICTURES and send them to DB1, so we can mock them.
 

Seriously, can someone explain to me how it is possible to get that color face. Please, I would really like to know. I am baffled by this. Is it something one can only buy in Jersey??? Is it cream? Is it a pill? Help me with this. For the love of god.
 

@beansy

I feel sure there are answers to your very questions somewhere in this very blog, having dim memories of the mention of 'wipe on tan' and the like. But, as I am quite stewed on the absinthe, I cannot offer more, other than to suggest, as I have suggested before, that the fake baked zombies are actually being produced from deep within the bowels of the Montauk 'Radar Station' on Lawn Guyland and shipped throughout the region.

A certain fellow by the name of Joey Porsche might have more information, if you diggggggggg what I'm saying.

--VS
 

This girl is not hot AT ALL. Why did you claim the two cute ones in the pic below were not "standard" hotts, but fail to mention this girl is average at best?

Those three dickwads, however, are clearly worthy of d-bag status. The one on the far left is evidence that you may have stumbled upon a new species of douche--the Asian douchebag.
 

It would be funny to grab hold of his tongue with your left hand and start filling his stupid face with rights...equal rights for DOUCHE BAGS!
 

@revvd

I think I remember that crayon. It was called "sunset over shit mountain." Or possibly:

chocolate-orange sherbet swirl
burnt circus peanut
carroty turd
 

Destination Hall of Scrote
Douchey, Douchey, Douchey with Ho

(my kind of Ho)
 

Ben Stiller struggles with addiction in "Poolander"
 

Sharpied "X"s on the hand? Fuck I'm old. It has been YEARS since I went to a club that needed wristbands or other markings to indicate 21+

But damn, those were the days
 

douche number one has realized he is hanging with a couple of douchtards and has the overwhenlimg urge to suck on his cigarette until his head caves-in. Sometimes there is only one way out and that douchecide...douchenasia...
 

'Bag Mockers,

RE - Glossary in Da Buch

I have to wait a just little longer to get The Choadiest Book Evah - It's being gifted to me for my September 11th Birthday (Bet yer all jealous of that one - snark - bit it is a great day to honor the Bleeth Brigades).

Though I still think we will one day soon need our own on-line and interactive WikiDoucheia because of all this. It is our solemn responsibility to pass on the Knowledge de' DoucheBag to future generations, jah?

I'd personally be up for printing all of this on Hard-Baked Clay Tablets (to later be sequestered in a lonesome desert cave outside of Las Vegas).

But, maybe that's just me that feels this strongly about all this.

Anxiously awaiting a Douche Reference that uses the word "Perineum" in the label...
 

lmfaooooo i know this guy
 

I actually don't think X1 is that bad. Maybe he just got mixed up in some really smelly shit.

And don't X's on the hands mean you've been cut-off in strip joints?

Not that I would know.