fucking hilarious
 

It's ALL ball bearings these days! Maybe you need a refresher course!
 

well done, douche springsteen. i hope you have fully recovered by now. that was a very close call. and DB1 isn't kidding. Quaker State really works.


in the background of this nauseating picture, there's a nest of Ghost Nipples. i am certain all of these people died that evening. you don't mess with Ghost Nipples. they win every time.
 

@douche springsteen

You owe me 1 can of Axe Body spray and a 3 pack of wife beaters.
 

I love Fletch references ... and pfah's perfect-boobie avatar.
 

Sounds like douchelococcus newarki newjersii. Extremely virulent, definitely need the Quaker State.

--VS
 

Wow, Springsteen, at least you were able to call for help! Do exactly as DB1 says. Do not deviate from the prescribed cure, it's your only hope.

@Pfah. I really really enjoy your new avatar. Thanks for sharing that!!!
 

@yahoo scrotius & doucheous scrotimus.... glad you like the new avatar boys. when i saw that earlier, i knew where it was going immediately.





that's right. directly into my pants.
 

@douche springsteen-

were you driving home in an oldsmobuick by chance?
 

Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.
 

The great part about that vignette is that normal humans would be pissed if our shampoo/deoderant/whatever exploded all of our clothes, but the douche would be psyched. It saves him the time he would need to spray the Axe if it's already soaked into his clothes.
 

i like a barf bag, and a barf bag. and you can put that on the underhill's bill.
 

If the driver's seat of your car didn't automatically kick back to a 45 degree angle, there's hope. A doctor friend told me there's a strain called Influenza Grieco 41, it's similar to ebola in that it's short lived and if it doesn't kill you, you'll be fine in 24 hours. Good Luck brother
 

Douchetoevsky,

Are you still leaching off my tax dollars you bastard!?

Heh heh heh.

Just wonderin’ how the employment situation’s working out. I hear Mike Watt may be looking for someone to fill in for him.
 

hahah, great post.
 

Fletch quote FTW!!!1!
 

Something your wife said when we were in bed together; she said we had roughly the same build....from the waist up, I imagine....!



So many classic lines, so little time...

I'll have the steak sandwich!!
 

Isn't that Bridget from The Girls Next Door? She's cute, but a little chunky to be one of Hef's top three...there have been hotter hotts standing next to douchier douchebags...

...and, as for the douche...well it IS rather bright in that hall so I totally see the need to sunglasses, and I think it is nice of him to show the world what he juts pulled out of his manicured nostrils.
 

I see he's rockin' the Playboy Bunny logo on his hat. Nice work, Broadway Joe.
 

This asshole looks a little like GiambiDouche , perhaps the DB that most exemplifies the shithead attitude and is always surrounded by hot chicks.

As an Oakland A's player, he was a loveable goof, a guy on an underdog team worth rooting for as they had spunk and grit ( as long as they didn't knock off my BoSox which they almost did).

As a Yankee, he's a fat, crybaby, wussy. And, as a Yankee, he's as good as dead to me.

Fuck FS, DjB, and Giambi
 

D.S. - Put 17 ball bearings in your butt and strut around in a grey chiffon evening dress, stat. You will then be gay and slightly weird, but that is a more acceptable fate.
 

I am certainly glad Douche Springsteen has DB1 to "shepherd" him to a cure. Once the cure takes effect, D.S. (another "D.S."?????) can sing a chorus or two of "Moon River" to celebrate.

Oh, and the 'bag in the pic certainly looks a bit like the "db" hand signal guy from a couple of weeks back.

A closer look.....
 

Ruffles have ridges.

Pass the dip, please, so that I may plink into Pink.
 

YES! Another Fletch reference in only a few months.
 

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In fact, this appears to be an Air-bag Ranger, probably returned not too long ago from combat overseas (at least long enough to grow that pogue beard.) He's wearing a "KIA bracelet" on his wrist to memorialize a fallen comrade, and those shades look alot like ballistic eye-pro.

He probably got chaptered out of the service for "Pattern of Misconduct."
 

he's wearing the Playboy hat.. awww, how fitting considering he is leaking on one of Hef's girls from Girls Next Door..
 

Wow, thanks for all the outpouring of help and concern. I have pulled through and am feeling much better now. I had to have a full blood transfusion as the doucheocyte concentrataion in my blood was dangerously high and my scalp was starting to secrete its own gel. I'd like to say it was enlightening "walking a mile in another man's shoes" as it were, but there was no hotts throwing themselves at me.
 

This dude in the pic doesn't really measure up to the other 'bags on your site.

I don't think this guy quite qualifies. . . he could be cool.