as Charlie wrestles with Cousin It, Charice finds time to pose with her favorite mandana wearing desert rat
 

just miles from the Thunderdome, two mandanas enter, one mandana leaves with Hott Chick
 

the famed archealogical dig of 2538 will sadly reveal the embarasing fact that mandanas were worn not only by Victorian era pirates, but by land dwelling choads as well.
 

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service today stated that if immediate action isn't taken, the Mandana Bleeth Bedazzler will over run the fragile Southwest ecosystem.
 

The boat floated off into Havasu after douche #25 forgot to attach the rope to that anchor.

jackass.
 

Because the Mandana Bleeth Bedazzler is an invasive species, dig?
 

Mike prepares for the Goodfellas death scene re-enactment, using Joe Pesci's douchebag stand-in.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Out on the shores of the Colorado river, we see the Douche-Bling Expedition working tirelessly to anchor their barge of Coors Light and snap photos of one another with a recent runaway from the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.
 

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible smell all around us and the air was full of terrible man perfume and I was temporarily blinded by the sun glare reflecting off of huge gaudy metallic man-necklaces and a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn douchebags?"
 

After losing his high school basketball game, Mike, always the third wheel, decided to dig for China while Tony and Carol pose for their next facebook profile pic.
 

With land in the Pine Barrens at a premium, Tony and Mike persuaded a bleethed-out Carol to join them for a madcap cross-country adventure to bury the body of her BFF in the Desert Southwest. They hoped that the arid climate would further petrify the former Maria's tanning-bedded jerky skin, thus obscuring the true cause of death: Axe-phyxiation.
 

Indiana Choads and the Desert of Douche
 

"Bra, I totally found some malachite back here! Look at the monoclinical crystallization, dude!"
 

Oh yeah, who you callin' a golddigger now, be-atch??
 

No more captions.
BCS wins.
 

"daaaah, come here and give me a hug,daaaah."
 

BCS FTW!
 

Tripping on peyote, Tony and Mike donned bizzare trinkets and headbands to ward off evil spirits.

AV
 

Near a cavern, in a canyon, Excavatin' for a mine,
Stood a miner, 49er,
And his daughter, Clementine.
 

Tony and Carol get tired of watching Mike and Danny play 'fart wars'.
 

With nary a filling station in sight along the highway, Tony, Carol and Mike make a pit-stop; and as Tony buries the poop, Carol and Mike grin in relief.
 

With nary a filling station in sight along the highway, Tony, Carol and Mike make a pit-stop; and as Tony buries the poop, Carol and Mike grin in relief.
 

I'm hoping this was the final photo taken before all three kept their suicide pact.

I'm thinking (hoping) they drove out into the hills... dug shallow graves... all took a handful of oxycontin and took a proverbial dirt nap.

- Douchey Smurf
 

@bcs

Jesus, bad waves of paranoia,
madness, fear and loathing --
intolerable vibrations in this
place. Get out! The douchebags were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes. Flee!
 

Bambi, as part of her community service project, enjoyed visiting the Northern Nevada Lobotomy Clinic on the days the patients were allowed to go outside.
 

As Tony continues to dig for petrified wood, Carol and Mike grin in their discovery of a far more interesting piece of wood.
 

Queer and Douching in Las Vegas.

I got nothin' after BCS came through and destroyed all further commentary. My mind is melted from work anyway.
 

As Tony keeps turning over the sand in hopes of uncovering a horned toad, Carol and Mike delight in their personal discovery of the horny camel-toed lizard eye-balling a desert snake.
 

***
Mortimer, happy to get out of the institution and play in the sand, hugs teacher Mary, who isn't aware of Stephan, who is about to soil himself as he fails to pull his pants down all the way, like Mary had taught him and Mortimer earlier that same week...
***
 

Hurry up, brah!
Bury the axe!
We don't want to look like total douches.
 

Look, there's two douchebags fucking a polar bear!

Don't tell me these things. Not now man.
 

"Come to beautiful Nevada where you too can ruin a picturesque vista."
 

You can turn your back on a person, but, never turn your back on a douche. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp gold necklace in your eye.
 

Joanni diBianchi congratulates James "Jimbo" Wuffmere, the winner of the Desert Special Olympics biathalon, an event which combines mandana folding and anchor burying.

--VS
 

Dude, I thought you said China was down here?!
 

"Bra! We're not blind after all. Lift it up ABOVE your eyes!"
 

Ass Pirate: "Ha, I told ya bra. I knew you wouldn't be able-ta take a shot of dat wicked rattle snake's venom and Jager' combo bra."

Future Milf: (sounding like a young Edith from All in the Family) "Make sure ya getcha finga ways down in dare if yous want it all to come out in one shot. Trust me Rocko, how-dus tink I gots into this skirt I used to wear in 8th grade? Jerry! Watch-cha necklace it's pullin' on my hair...oh geez dares anudda clump"

Rocko: HOOOOOOORRRRK..CHK...CHK.. whoa, you guys... I thinks I see does tacos from the buffet. And that snakes still movin...I'ms gonna hit it again wit da shovel Bra. rrrHOOOOORRRRK..ACK..ACK..ugh, God Damn...I, uh...I, uh I'm havin trouble breathin here guys.. The snake venom aint 'spose to be workin when the snakes dead right? Jerry? Bra?
 

Didn't the firing party offer him a cigarette to go with that blindfold?
 

Tony was completely satisfied with his ZomBleeth, while mike kept on digging...
 

bcs' first comment wins. hands down. other than that, these three could make anywhere look like shit. god damn, it would be easier on the stomach to see a 7-11 being built there.
 

heh heh, they'll never find Fung out here!
 

On this day, Lonnie’s quivering bowels were no match for the hot sun, firm soil and broken shovel.
 

Stranded in the desert for three days, Raymond and Marcia prayed that Marvin’s frequent botulism induced liquid bowel movements would quench their parched tongues.
 

In certain parts of the desert, what ever a camper takes in must be taken back out with them. This includes bodily waste. It looks like she's removing her poo from the pristine desert setting to only leave footprints behind.
 

if you fold em like dis, you only hafta make the hole half as big
 

hey Joey, I got the anchor. bitch aint goin nowhere now!
 

"Yeah, well just keeeeep on laughin' Joey...I'm 'bout to have me a moist warm hole too..."
 

Look Back In Anchor
 

"Tell Plinky's Mom we found her hair barrette"
 

"When there was no fowl, they'd eat crawdad; when there was no crawdad, they ate sand ."
 

"Bro, this isn't time for livin' it up! help me find your aviators!"
 

"Yo, Jooooeeeey, aside from the skin burn, humpin' dis ankor aint haf bad!"
 

finally #25 finds the right implement to lance the giant boil on his scratch hole
 

sadly, Mark "Gator" Rogowski's little brother fails to learn the lesson from Gators unfortunate past.
 

"so if I hump, kill, & bury you in the desert, maybe I'll find Jesus. Tony found an anchor, anything can happen... I'll prolly just get a rash & some blisters."
 

Finally, #25 found his lost childhood toy and also has something to ride.
 

While Tony distracted Carol, Mike was able to bury Carol seeing eye dog so she could never escape...
 

Plant a douche seed in Utah, and the Mormon chicks will come.
 

Sweet Dee dates a retarded person.