Girl on right can have my Chiquita banana any day.

Don is seven different kinds of ridiculous.
 

My goodness, does Don sport a shiny anklete too?
 

I'll cut the guy some slack. Best Buy front end managers gotta party, too...
 

Don rules.

sorry, sometimes when guys are way over the top i can't help but respect and admire their complete lack of shame or self-dignity.

Don for President.
 

pass. Don (poor man's Val Kilmer) is just an unfortunate slob who is a victim of his own unintentional bad taste in clothing ...and necklaces.

the nipple pasties on the right cause me to stand at attention as much as they are pointing to the heavens.

-crankygypsy
 

Don rules.

if The Dude and Dee Snider had a love child, it would be Don. i am a bit concerned that Don might have shit himself earlier in the evening though. otherwise, how do you explain the stains on his lower legs?

the Eurominx on our left is one hot little bisquit.
 

Either Don is wearing an anklet or he just broke out of house arrest.


What he really needs is a Douche Monitoring Bracelet.
 

@ pfah

"The Dude and Dee Snider..."

I'm smiling all day.
 

If Fred Flintstone had left Bedrock for Maui, he would've ended up looking like Don here.
 

I'm sorry, but this guy is either a movie producer or a drug dealer (or those two girls could be 'working' I suppose) - or is there some sort of magical land where hot chicks will latch onto any fat slob who happens to be passing by? I looked at him and thought 'hobodouche' - is that even possible?

Bonus cry points for rolling out of bed, still drunk, in his pyjamas and putting on the first shirt he found on the floor and jazzing the look up with flea market necklaces and his ex's cubic zirconia ankle bracelet.

I think that this picture has made me die a little inside. Keep up the good work.
 

Dog the Bounty Hunter RULES!!!
 

the dude and dee snider. fuckin' a pfah.
 

@ stuart

The ladies are PtP, that is, Payed to Pose. They're models promoting a product, likely a liquor or tobacco. I used to do promos like that, and i can assure you that 90% of the time they have nothing but contempt for the douche. They probably think this guy is dorky-nice though.
 

When I first saw Don, somehow I was certain that someone would chime in a few posts down and explain how he's some ultimate fighter dude and how he'd kick all of our asses for making fun of him.

I still suspect that is true. I don't know why. I'm like the Alyssa Milano character in "Charmed," having a mad psychic vision. Without the boobs.

Speaking of magic, I'd love left chick to wrap her legs around my torso. Twice, from the looks of the lengths of those stems.
 

I think Don is actually part of the genus Sasquatch.
 

He's something, but I'm not sure it's a douche. He looks like the HVAC guy who won the Tri-State Big Money Lottery and went to piss away his money in Vegas. His douchal accessories are few - I'm thinking more clueless than willfully douchey. If I won big money, I'd surround myself with car show model-strippers too. I'd look like a middle-aged goofball, but I don't think I'd be a douchebag. At least not a big douchebag.
 

casino or nerd convention. hard to tell. no worries about this guy though. he's a level 10 paladin and will be retreating to his hole in no time to roll the proverbial 10 sided die. Indeed as caeser said, the die is cast, he is douche.
 

This is the future of Billy Ray Cyrus after he turns Miley into a Maxim-hag.

I did not know that Medi-alert made anklets.

Not only are there pasties on our PtP lovelies, it appears that our Asian flower also has on some sort of "shield" down there.

And he "captains" the garbage scow from Staten Island.
 

not to mention the anklet, brow bling, & feathered, dyed blonde mullet.. this choad is a wreck!

scrumptious pelvic mound on the quartasian
 

So if the hotts are PtP, can we still classify the douche (which I'm not sure that he is) on HCwDB? He looks, to me, like some drunk sap that has just vomited on himself while getting his picture taken with the strippers from his cousins bachelor party. 80's Miami Vice sad, but douche? I dare say no.
 

The Don abides.
 

I can't call Don a douche. He's taken a lot of bad decisions and put them together, but I bet he's the kind of guy you'd watch the game with. It's just this unfortunate incident at the monster truck show that he got caught in.
 

hey! careful man, there's a beverage here!
 

totally not a douche. i think if i ran away to Key West and drank a case of Bud heavies every day, I would turn into this guy. Minus the super gay ankle bracelet of course.
 

After being drawn to the two hotts, my eyes were drawn to the Rolex on his ankle. What the hell is wrong with his foot? It looks like a stump with a penis instead of a big toe.

I'll leave that question for someone else to ponder while I ponder on which hott which look better naked. And by ponder, I mean . . . well, you get the idea.
 

Paid to Pose? - just when you think you've seen true depravity, the world serves up more.

This is like those sad TV ads begging for money for starving children, except with no children and more hotts. It's like the day that you found out that Santa wasn't real, except with more bikinis.

So, what's the going rate for a girl's dignity these days?
 

Captain Ron, where's the eye patch?
 

@ Stuary

About $75 to $200 per night. Depending on the client.

I don't do that carp anymore. Had to subdue too many bags for the money (us dudes only make bout $100).
 

Lars Umlaut, fresh off tour with the other Guitar Heroes showed us a different side of his persona. A douchier side. He left behind his Scandinavian death metal gear, and instead left the house wearing Jams from 1985, and a bedazzled house arrest anklet. Unfortunately, this is the last known picture of Lars while he was alive, as he was later beaten to death by a drunken, steel dildo wielding Axel Steel.
 

come on folks he's a walking tub of beer swilling goo with a bad haircut, hideous fashion sense who indiscriminately burps & farts... uh, wait a second, um that's me...

ok notadouche
 

Oh see, it's Paul from The Aqua Teen Hunger Force....
 

WTF is on his ankle? Why the two-tone mullet? 4 necklaces? Clashing yellow prints on shirt and shorts? Two hotties? What is that smell?

Oh...oops...this picture made me involuntarily shit myself.
 

I thought at first that this guy wasn't a douche, maybe he just threw on whatever he had clean in his suitcase, but then I saw that he wasn't wearing a hoodie. He actually has some blond mess atop his brown mane. That's kind of a Eurobag look he's got going on hair wise. The rest screams "I chug Mountain Dew Game Fuel and don't do laundry."
I mean seriously, he's one colorful mother fucker. And, the thing that is making him a douche bag, for me, is the hair, the anklet, the four necklaces, the eyebrow ring, the pirate earrings, and that smug look on his face. He definitely thinks he looks cool, and he definitely watches Dragon Ball Z.
 

@Thomas, do you mean Carl?

Is this his "I wanna rock your body (till the break of dawn)" look?
 

@Archidoucheis, yes Carl of course!

Forgive me, I am really disturbed by this pic.
 

haha, yeah his outfit is so loud it causes your ears to melt words together.
 

Don is that rad uncle you had when growing up. He liked metal when it was satanic and then totally banged every hot chick when the hair metal phase came and went. You knew he was cheesy, but he gave you a tall boy to pound when moms went out, and played Crazy Train on the guitar from start to finish while you drank. Now he is 40 and combines all the elements of rock-n-roll from the 80's to the grunge period and don't give a fuck. He still talks about all the girls he banged while being a roadie for Winger.
 

I judge Don for the ankle bracelet
 

So many wrongs, so little time...I'm a bit surprised the multi-colored mullet has only garnered one comment, and I don't recall but one other mention of the apparent stains on his leghs and shirt - maybe he's lactating...though that shouldn't be, as he looks like he's in the early third trimester...
 

And I want to find the fucking miscreant that decided piercing an eyebrow is fashionable.

I'll venture that those rings he's wearing are skull heads.

This is the stinky, heavy breathing horror show that decides to sit in the empty seat next to you on the casino shuttle bus. Even though there are other seats and even though you propped your leg up on that empty seat as soon as he came into view on the top step.

Take a shower, get a haircut , and sober up, you oversized hamster.
 

This merely looks like sex tourism to me.
 

Don looks like Fred Flintstone after swimming in yellow paint.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

ok, the shorts, the bling, the chin pubes, yeah yeah. but this is the kind of guy i see walking around LA and think to myself "what the fuck am i living on the east coast for?". he doesn't get uptight about anything, and he seems to be having a fine time. this guy does not seem to be your run-of-the-mill, high-maintenance, closeted-gay, 'roided-out, aggresssively-pervy, cologne-doused asshole. or any other hyphenated adjectives i can think of right now, for that matter. although the anklet and mandals make me cringe, i gotta go with not a douche. euro hottie is making it hard for me to think.
 

Oi, what a way to start my morning off. Thank goodness those girls are being paid to pose with douchebags. What the fuck is that on his ankle?!?! FUCKING BLING ANKLET?!?! Ugh, for the love of god man, put the rubber ducky shorts away. You've ruined all of my cherished childhood memories of the "Mr. Ducky" song asshat. He sparkles more than the girls combined, that's never a good sign. But I suppose it goes nicely with that mark of the douche he's got going on his gargantuan forehead. Perhaps if we're lucky Don here will start to rock out (preferably without his cock out), and that nice claw hook thing he's got hanging from his neck will catch him in the eye, resulting in a great popping noise as its plucked from its socket. Oh sweet justice. Girls, make sure you get paid up front for this shit, it just isn't worth it.
 

In a case of total site irony, I think Don and these Hotts are at a cast party for a revival of Jesus Christ, Superstar. Don plays the role of King Herod and they, of course, are Bleeths of the court. Since the whole purpose of the Herod scene is to mock Jesus Christ, what better place than to continue the mockery at yet another mock site: HCwDBs!!!
 

@ bleethal weapon 11:06

my same thoughts when 1st viewing this pic... good call
 

I don't know folks, this looks to me like Fred Flintstone on vacation in Vegas and he's wrecked on Ecstasy. Yabba-dabba-doo!!
 

Oh, what a shame.
The Geico caveman shaved off his beard.
 

He's more like a Parrothead than a douchebag. Ironically goofy, and easy to trash, but I just can't pin a douche on him. The girls are pros, so it's not like he's taking anything away from the rest of us. Is he the owner of Vivid Video or something? It's like Fred Flinstone inherited a whorehouse from his rich uncle, and sold Wilma to the gypsies. With most douches, you don't need the back-story - the picture says it all. With this guy, I'd need corroborating evidence before I douche him.
 

Boy, Brian Bosworth has really gone downhill since Stonecold! Glad to see he is still rockin the bleach blonde skunk mullet.
 

I think the leg stains are shadows and a tatt (on his inner right leg).

And the hotts.....oh my, I'm at a loss for words (and blood in the upper head).
 

Don should face off against Megahead in the 2008 Douchies for the most disturbingly large head.
 

he looks suspiciously like bill paxton in broken lizard's "club dread":

http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/clubdread-heffernan-paxton.jpg

-haberdouchery
 

I would love to put my lumpia in the ponset of the Auntie on the right...
 

It's Snakemannn!! Holy shit. This guy is basically famous on myspace. Complete and utter chode. You should read his bulletins. Here are some more of my favorites of him:

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=29272&albumID=1747266&imageID=22498018

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=29272&albumID=1747266&imageID=22498018#a=1747266&i=22605572

Supposedly he makes and sells jewelry to "celebrities".
 

nice pluck joey

trust your 1st instinct, this tool is pure douche!
 

Put the lotion in the basket! I vote this caption is changed to Buffalo Don. He's a spitting image of Ted Levine as Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs.

See for yourself...
http://www.chasingthefrog.com/reelfaces/texaschainsaw/buffalo_bill.jpg
 

Snakeman he is:

http://www.snakemannn.com/index.html

And now come the three hardest words to say in the English language: "I... was... wrrr...wrrr...wrrr... ong! I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and he turned out to be a total toadstool. Ah well... humility is a virtue.
 

Fuck me what a ginormous head this dude has. I mean, shit; look how big the tee-shirt head hole is stretched open...

These girls must really be into getting head. Well they came to the right place. jeez.
 

i own a car wash in montana, would you like a pic--eh--a pic?
 

Hahaha! Yes, they posted my submission. This uber-tool calls himself Snakemannn on myspace (yes, he spells it with 3 n's), "Jeweler to the stars!" Such a homo. You should check out his page, it's so closet gay, Larry Craig and Ted Haggard would be jealous.