Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Kimmy enjoys sun
While douche holds the ugly stick
He was beaten with

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:02 AM

Hey, ribcage gringo!
Try to look interested
When escorting hott.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:03 AM

captain jack sparrow
your douchey brother escaped
with a fair maiden

# posted by

bcs : 7:03 AM

My only hope is
Kimmy never turned 'round
Doesn't know he's there

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:04 AM

a day at the zoo
ruined, by dropping her keys
into the shark tank.

# posted by

pfah : 7:05 AM

washed up beach-bag
rafts in city sewage stream
hottie walks the plank

# posted by

canadouche : 7:05 AM

Tattoos look like dirt,
You're surrounded by water -
Wash that crap off choad.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:06 AM

Gowanus Canal
Can cause disfiguration
Get your shots, Kimmy.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:06 AM

Ahoy there, matey!
Euro Grunge pirate sets sail
With ransacked booty

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:07 AM

must be a theme park.
AVAST! retarded pirates
make off with your girl.

# posted by

pfah : 7:07 AM

I know it's Friday, but how is the first post not about one of DB1's future ex-wives, the lovely Natalie Portman and the fact that she is no longer dating a huge hairy douchebag?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:08 AM

He wears plain T-shirt
Ribcage is not a decal
It's his soaked-through filth

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:08 AM

Do I spy Mick Mars
He's really let himself go
And that says a LOT!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:09 AM

If what anon says
Is true, then my little head
Is quite excited.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:09 AM

Romance has gone wrong.
Douchebags version of Venice.
He's already puffed.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:10 AM

avast fine beauty!
why dost thou ride with a douche?
arr! it reeks of poo

# posted by

bcs : 7:10 AM

Kim thinks to herself,
"Should have saved up more money,
and gone to Venice."

# posted by

pfah : 7:10 AM

Shiver me timbers!
He's wearing cut off Zubaz!
Walk the plank, says I!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:11 AM

"Ahoy, Me hearties"!
"I be the douche Cap'n Bob"
I pray for Kraken.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:13 AM

I love a hott when
Her waist is a bit chubby.
Now I've a chubby.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:13 AM

Sunbathing beauty
Attracts incoming photons
Bleached douche likes the dark

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:13 AM

shiver me timbers!
your boat is sinking woman!
clear off the poop deck!

# posted by

bcs : 7:13 AM

Amy Winehouse's
brother makes a few extra
pounds as a lake guide.

# posted by

pfah : 7:15 AM

I feel fine. [/Michael Stipe]

# posted by

WeisenHeimer Brainstorm : 7:15 AM

Modern day Ahab
Quests madly for his white whale
A douche named "Squidward"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:16 AM

Eastern European Pirate Boat Ride

Mirrors srorriM

Western Image of the Valley of the Shadow of Death

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:18 AM

Worn-out Piratebag
With legs akimbo. Hott is
Swatting crabs from here.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:18 AM

Kim went to Venice!
douchebag in a gondola?
flight to New Jersey.

# posted by

Douche McAllister : 7:18 AM

Cap'n Slappy is
waiting for pic to finish
to keep drinking rum.

# posted by

pfah : 7:19 AM

Hott shields her shoulder
Not out of fear of sunburn
But of douchebag's "oar"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:19 AM

Please, let them be in
The moat at the polar bear
Exhibit. Please, God.

# posted by

massengill : 7:19 AM

Tell me this is staged.
This just could not have happened.
Dammit, Kimmy why?

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

Worst pirate ever
Scooby Doo beat pirates that
look better than you.

# posted by

ufo destroyers : 7:21 AM

I have a question:
Is the algae worse outside
Or inside the boat?

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:21 AM

Who knew that the your
Local sewage treatment plant
Gave tours led by turds.

# posted by

massengill : 7:22 AM

Adrift on the seas
Of Hepatitis C
Kimmy misses Jersey

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 7:23 AM

oops

# posted by

massengill : 7:23 AM

I have a theory:
He works at Dirtbag Boat Rides
Kimmy's just a fare.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:23 AM

A Yo-ho Yo-ho
A pirates life for these two
I’ll pillage the green.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:24 AM

Kids: this is a hott
This is a douchebag on drugs
Any questions?

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 7:25 AM

Cap'n ScroteBob rows
Kimmy applies douche-screen now
I hope it works soon

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:25 AM

A shower and shave?
Sorry, that won't help this guy.
But fire will cleanse.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:25 AM

Look out, hott, it's Jaws!
Wait, just a bloated sea cow
Not a great white shark

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:25 AM

He sure looks the tough.
But pink (re-read PINK) striped shorts!
View is bad from here.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:27 AM

dirty douchebag just
wants to give us all the creeps
somewhere mike ness gags

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 7:27 AM

Student teacher hott
Sean was a "troubled" student
He peed in coatroom

Kimmy pitied him
Kept in touch for years, but he
cannot be redeemed.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:28 AM

Poo floats.Stupid,Douche.
So why the raft? To escort,
Famke Janssen hot.

# posted by

Vacuum Cleaner Bagg : 7:28 AM

sewage treatment plant,
captain scrotebeard at the helm.
will hott walk the plank?

# posted by

'bag lanta : 7:29 AM

She smiles while he sulks.
Worn out or douching it up?
Earrings are ballast.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:31 AM

‘Bag has a peg leg
But it’s his third leg that's wood
Splinters in her ass.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:34 AM

Skeleton douchebag
Is more toxic than the crocs
Jump and swim for life

# posted by

ScroteBob DouchePants : 7:35 AM

He tickles her spine
As his rectum gets tickled
By captains meat hook.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:35 AM

Here’s Long John douchebag
About to keelhaul his hott
With his stiff paddle.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:38 AM

Burnt-out shadow douche
Bears face of disappointment
Rejection from hott.

# posted by

Spaz : 7:39 AM

Douche attitude strong
But rowing is too much work.
Pass me the twinkies.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:40 AM

he looks like Droopy.
that makes me very, very
happy. Looney Tunes.

# posted by

pfah : 7:40 AM

Butt-Pirate Bobby
Will Kimmy notice the herp
Bob hides in his pants?

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:40 AM

I treasure her chest
And buccaneer her scurvy
With my hard peg leg.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:41 AM

he is a member
of the Olympic Rowing
Team from Scrotacia.

# posted by

pfah : 7:41 AM

The S.S. Douchestain
Has made its grand departure
Anchor made from poo

# posted by

Charles Nelson Douchely : 7:43 AM

He hopes to rape and
Pillage a village of young
Boys after this cruise.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:43 AM

HOME PAGE FOR PFAH!
i just referred to myself
in the 3rd person.

# posted by

pfah : 7:44 AM

Lo, I see a pooch.
Lo, I see a rocker douche.
Lo, I lose my lunch.

# posted by

blair : 7:44 AM

He wields a paddle
But it’s really a rifle
That’s why this makes sense.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:45 AM

lo! i need coffee.
lo! he's got a farmer tan.
lo! Blair starts a trend.

# posted by

pfah : 7:46 AM

Guess I should use Avast!
In my haiku for front page
Oh well, there's next week!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:47 AM

lo! i have bad gas.
lo! probably from biscuits.
lo! barking spiders.

# posted by

pfah : 7:48 AM

Lo! I'm hung over
Lo! Another shot will do
Lo! A cheer to all!!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:49 AM

Smiling Hott in sun
Emo Vampire Douchebag Scrote
No happy camper

BCS @ 7:10 LOL

# posted by

elitescrota3 : 7:50 AM

lo! dear Crucial Head,
lo! you've done a fine job sir!
lo! next week is yours.

# posted by

pfah : 7:50 AM

Amercan culture
seeks contrasting characters
Like life is movie

As if their outside
Reflects the fun to be had
Looks real fun to me.

# posted by

ian : 7:51 AM

Fake rescue underway,
zoo animal contemplates.
Poor hott has no clue.

# posted by

teh abominable snowdouche : 7:51 AM

Avast, pirate rat
Cursed to marauding suburbs
You make me seasick

# posted by

Bagstreet Boy : 7:52 AM

lo! i should work now.
lo! client's work comes second.
lo! on haiku day.

# posted by

pfah : 7:52 AM

And Old Chap was robbed!
Fung sookles Fish Slap's schlong
While recieving pole.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:52 AM

I am amazed at
my second try at haiku
making the front page!!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:52 AM

Central Park boat ride
New city homeless program
Douchebag is tour guide

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:53 AM

Lo! Pfah earned this
Lo! My haiku skills need work
Lo! But Fridays rule!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:54 AM

Holy frijoles!
Mandana hides bad hair day,
But poo still leaks out.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 7:54 AM

Lo! D. Scrotimus
Lo! Well done good 'bag hunter
Lo! Now get drunk fast!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:56 AM

White denied front page
Now my direct reports pay
I am asshole boss

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:56 AM

Hott must walk the plank
Or face the consequence at
The tip of my sword

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:57 AM

hold your head up high
dear doucheous scrotimus!
your cherry is gone.

# posted by

pfah : 7:57 AM

Like Twain's Huck and Jim
Unlikely pair go rafting
Except Jim is douche

-End the haberdouchery

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:58 AM

Mr. White, my friend,
the beatings will continue
until moral's good.

# posted by

pfah : 7:59 AM

Well balanced photo
Dirty pirate hooker with
Dirty pirate douche

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:59 AM

Many thanks and 'grats
to my fellow 'bag hunters
Let's mock some douches!!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 8:00 AM

lo! see you all soon.
lo! must get back to work now.
lo! proud of you all.

# posted by

pfah : 8:00 AM

3 weeks in a row
my haikus are on front page
going to lose my job...

# posted by

bcs : 8:12 AM

Shit FUCK damn SHIT fuck
Work AGAIN thwart's 'Sock haiku
fuckety fuck FUCK

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:20 AM

Lovely Kimmy,so delicate and pure.
Look out for that choad
die die die!!

# posted by

johnny : 8:20 AM

Nasty Kim's request
For a paddle on her ass
Was misunderstood

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:20 AM

Eco-Friendly Boat
Powered by outboard douchebag;
Runs off crystal meth

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:21 AM

Stroke of two leg boar
Douche detritus meditates
Beware twilight zone

# posted by

Manbag : 8:22 AM

Bad Kim gets off by
"Her little man in the boat"
Stroked by long black stick...

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:23 AM

8:21 post
of Darksock, belongs on the
homepage. DB1?

# posted by

pfah : 8:24 AM

darksock showed up late
unlike john mccain who will
not even show up.

# posted by

bcs : 8:31 AM

I wish haiku was
Posted later in morning
For us on West Coast.

But, DB1 don't
Be mad, we don't want haiku
Go the way of limerick.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:35 AM

McCain was busy
Getting makeup while Darksock
Flogged lazy drafters.

And Palin solves our
Economic problems by
Showing us her boobs.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:37 AM

I agree with pfah
Darksock's haiku made me laugh
Drugs are bad MMMKAY?

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 8:47 AM

hott is in danger
something foul in this kayak
bilge holds the paddle

# posted by

creature : 8:52 AM

lovely lass in boat
cannot tell which is more foul
schlub or green water

# posted by

creature : 8:55 AM

keep him in the boat
for if he goes in the drink
then toxic waste spill

# posted by

creature : 8:57 AM

my fuckin lord
these are the best haiku's
ever

# posted by

Dennis Bagger : 8:57 AM

creamy girl in bow
is a delight to behold
the oarsman sucks balls

# posted by

creature : 8:59 AM

conspiracy against
west coast haikuers
wake up already 100

# posted by

Dennis Bagger : 9:02 AM

Douche takes girl back home
To the place where he grew up
Sewage Treatment Plant

# posted by

Archidoucheis : 9:05 AM

breaking news just in
mccain is going to debate
watch him squirm tonight

# posted by

bcs : 9:07 AM

Give poor guy a break
He just evolved from swamp thing
First time out of sludge

# posted by

Mr. White : 9:09 AM

@bcs

Is it wrong if I
Hope that McCain goes batsh!t
On stage as we watch?

I don't are about
partisan politics, I
just want a good show.

# posted by

Mr. White : 9:11 AM

Pepto , The Pirate
Idigestion beyond hope
Uuuurp! Much better now

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:12 AM

Uh, That was SUPPOSED to be indigestion But I think ya knew that

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:12 AM

Counting Crows douchebag
Serenading green delight
Knows not where he is

# posted by

El Doucherino : 9:14 AM

Lo! my head does hurt
Lo! doused flames of Trojan loss
Lo! with whiskey stream

# posted by

creature : 9:25 AM

I'm not good at this Haiku shit, but here goes...

City sewer plant,
Douchebag and Hott in a 'yak,
vile brew festering

# posted by

Doucheland Uber Alles : 9:25 AM

no front page for me
haiku to early on coast
drunk Irish sleep late

# posted by

creature : 9:26 AM

green bikini basks
in glorious rays of sun
douche is on darkside

# posted by

creature : 9:29 AM

he is no pirate
just vile & disgusting mess
spewed from bilge pump

# posted by

creature : 9:31 AM

Looks like he's having some trouble grasping the technology of the whole, "oar in water"-thing.

# posted by

Zen Wizard : 9:33 AM

to go for a ride
in Kelly's tunnel of love
I have a steam ship

# posted by

creature : 9:35 AM

Lo! I take comfort
Lo! with Doyers clinching West
Lo! World Series bound

# posted by

creature : 9:38 AM

this pirate dumpster
should be hung from the yard arm
while I flog Molly

# posted by

creature : 9:40 AM

Doyers and Angels
A Freeway World Series?
Shiver me timbers!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 9:45 AM

damn, can't she see that
fakey pirate douchebag has
crawled into her boat?

---------------------------

so, the new trend at
the canal is boating with
rank, hobo douchebags?

# posted by

ac douchey : 9:45 AM

Heroin destroying
the life of dirty douchebag
and his sister smiles.

# posted by

Eggar McMuffin : 9:49 AM

it's about time for
a freeway World Series
subways are stinky

the 1st 3 innings
must listen to radio
stuck in traffic

# posted by

creature : 10:00 AM

Jodie Foster hott
gets pinball machine treatment
inside of kayak

# posted by

creature : 10:02 AM

Uh...I mean, I get hot chicks being superficial and hanging with douches, but this guy looks like he's half dead.

# posted by

Barky von Douchehound : 10:16 AM

Sixteen men on a
Douchebag's chest. Yo ho ho and
What's with this guys face?

Johnny Depp Face Bloat
Creative Anachronism
My scurvy white arse

Appear Hott by light
But in shadow lurks ugly
Bait for master douche

# posted by

the douche of hurl : 10:45 AM

Phil Collins wears his
costume from "Hook" for this hot
His number, please lose

# posted by

revved up like a douche : 10:49 AM

Photoshops out douche
Takes control of the paddle -
I am now stroking.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 12:29 PM

hot chick with doof 'bag
is smiling now but watch out
pink pants fill with poo

# posted by

The Dude : 12:32 PM

in french, we say : "la belle et la bête".

Trop bien, ton site, DB1, continue.

FroggyStyle

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:06 PM

douche elf under bridge
gives canoe ride to hott
she solved his riddle

----------

my favorite part of this picture is how she (the good of the world) enjoys the sunlight and he (the bad and the ugly) gets wholly neglected. she is toaster strudel tasty.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:25 PM

Even Keith Richards
Avoids looking this drugged-out,
Though it's pretty close.

Her body glistens
Ever so nicely - untanned
Really does her good.

But from whence comes this
Ominous lighting issue?
Xenu casts shadow.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 2:20 PM

I give thee a pass
he looks far to drunk and high
to know where he is

Label: not-a-douche
Despite a scrote-face, me thinks
Its just cottonmouth

# posted by

captain jack scrotal : 3:17 PM

Cap'n Ahab bag
Is all depressed now because
He spied Mooby Dick.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 6:37 PM

Yes, Mooby even
Makes other douchebags slack-jawed,
As clearly seen here.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 6:37 PM

This douchster wank is
worst of any ever seen
on this site: hands down.

# posted by

anonymous : 8:26 PM

Wanker is mere wank,
Xenu is a bigger douche,
Who's comparing notes?

# posted by

anonymous : 8:29 PM

Never have I had
desire to slap douche untill
I saw this fudpuck.

# posted by

anonymous : 8:34 PM

His face would cause a
thousand ships to spring leaks of
poo, and Jack vomit.

# posted by

anonymous : 8:37 PM

Even Xenu cringed
at the sight of this choaded
scrote of Sylvan Bay.

# posted by

anonymous : 8:40 PM

How can shadow scrote
be more obvious than sun-
drenched bikini Hott?

# posted by

anonymous : 8:52 PM

He is nigh full of
Captain Morgan, and she of
much Sunny Delight.

Or is that De-lite?

# posted by

anonymous : 8:54 PM

Greens will be over-
come with earthly sewer blight
if Scrote has his way.

# posted by

anonymous : 9:03 PM

Pink and black striped pant-
aloons do not a pirate
flatter. Nor droop-face.

Garment best seen on
French can-can dancer, not on
Cancun ship-raider.

Does Green-bikini
hott have key to pirate's pad-
locked heart? Pray not.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:18 PM

His face hath launched a
thousand ships of poo into
Scrotal Sea of Shit.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:23 PM

not hott--abby likes to piss off her dad while making dirt pears in her vagina

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:10 AM

This can't be real please
Glorious hott with pirate poo
makes me very sad

# posted by

Alex L : 12:09 AM

LBC pirate scum
douche it up big
moon jellies bummed

# posted by

Regina : 7:49 PM

SHIT FLOATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry. all i got

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:55 AM

Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday Haiku

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Google Search:

About Me

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The Future Ex-Mrs. DB1

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