Ohhhhhhhh Boooyyyyyyyy! We gotta ourselves a stage 5 uberdouche I reckon! Prepare to fire!

Nice stencled brows you fucking homo!
 

Instant weekly winner, if there was more hot in the pic I'd say instant monthly winner as well. This guy makes Joey Porsche look like a two bit hack! Long live the FUNG!
 

Not Douche, UberGay. And by gay I mean... well, you know.
 

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Only real people can win douche of the week, this clearly just a clay representation

very life-like though
 

I. can't. stop. starring. at. this. picture.

This might be my new background.

Wow.
 

Oohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I was not prepared for that one DB1...

You have got to put some form of warning up before you unleash something of this magnitude. I will say it again; this is just wrong...

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

This picture was taken to always remind Joey, Tommy, Ben, and Kimmy of the stellar senior prank they pulled off where they stole a figure out of the wax museum and dressed it up like a greasy Jerz douche and took it to school.
 

ROFL, AIYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
 

I ask you...Where Are His Parents!?!

Friends?

School Councilors?

PogostickingJehovah! What an asshole!

I think I'm gonna drink the whole bottle of Sake in the fridge because his people of influence allow this kind of clusterfuck of an ejaculate to exist and, perhaps, thrive. My only hope is that this was a mob hit and she pops his porcupine with dual 22's to the melon.

Yup. I said that I hoped he was windscreen stain...What? I drink Sake sometimes, what did you expect?
 

This calls for an airstrike.
 

This just doesnt seem real. Is this some kind of a sick joke? Its hard to believe that people who look like this are out there breathing the same air that I breath. Hopefully I'll never see something like this in person...ever.
 

His eyebrows have been plucked more than an emergency basted turkey at 11pm on Thanksgiving Evening.
 

Looks like he blow-dried his hair with a lamprey and silverfish semen.
 

I'm losing faith in women simply because that innocent highschool cutie in the back can actually be ok with sitting two feet away from that freakshow.
 

His gullet contains the entrance to the world’s largest ant farm.
 

Mickey Rourke finally kicked heroin, only to succumb to the addiction of waiting for the final kernels to pop, face pressed with moist urgency against the microwave door like a bare-assed Oprah's vulva flaps against a hot bicycle seat.
 

Is that one of the prompas?
 

The real question that arises from this portrait is....Where can it go from here? Can people really be more douchie than this?...Anyone? I want all of your hypothesis' on this issue.
 

He is an over-ripe carrot plucked from the taint of an Oompa.

Shit. Enought from me. G'night all.

Happy Haiku thoughts!!
 

So tonight instead of 'Evil Dead' me and my toddlers will screen 'Team America - World Police'.

Don''t worry; it's not the uncut version. Shame on you, Mr. White...
 

What cruel task made this douche-golem rise from his bed of clay to walk the earth like people? Who crafted this choad-homunculus and set him loose on our planet?

Imagine--this specimen has parents. And they look at him and swell with pride. Much like my throat is swelling with puke as I fight the urge to ralph. Seriously.
 

gotta be some kind of douchie for this douchosity. its like a litteral black hole of douchery, i mean, i'm convinced just by looking at this picture that it is not possible to be within a 50ft radius of this douche without being sucked in. i think seeing this douche in purpose would melt faces ala raiders of the lost douche
 

Oh my dear God! Its a Prompa
"Prompa Version 2.0 The College Years," and by college years I mean big smelly pile of cow poo.
 

Darksock -

Why weren't you my daddy growing up? Hey, maybe you were! Are you Mexican?

Anyways, I'm glad my daughter ain't old enough to worry about them things yet. I watch SportsCenter while she sleeps blissfully.

Good luck with your movie and hope Mrs. 'Sock feels better soon!
 

.....is he black?
 

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He was once a little green slab of clay. Fung-y!
 

What...the....holy crap.
As a woman:
No I would not date this guy. I date nerds. at least normally. I'm losing hope in the nerds because I had to dump the last one.
But the douche..good god...what is wrong with him? is he diseased?
 

What's the fastest way to kill a baby? Have this douche play peek-a-boo with the baby. Instant heart attack.
 

Willy Wonka and the Douche Factory.
 

Speaking of women dating this guy...I wouldn't respect a girl that found this attractive, in fact I can't even imagine the kind of girls this guy pulls...probably hideously fake bleeths.
 

Dude looks like a porcupine mated with a Real Doll.
 

i agree with k a and anon. that's definitely one of the prompas!
 

impossible. simply impossible. no one would actually go out in public like this, would they? this defies all logic. i'm truly at a loss. no, no....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 

C. Thomas Howell as soulman
 

Just think: you can click on Fung's closeup pic and make it LARGER!

Just like this one.....



You're welcome. >8 D
 

This is worse than bcs's gay darksock link from a day or two ago.
 

Just consider how much time this bag must spend making himself such an uberdouche. It boggles the mind. I have lost all faith in humanity after looking at this pic. Somebody please put this thing out of its misery.
 

his ears are white... heh heh
 

Man, this photo brought out some rare bloggers.

Names I haven't seen before. Wow. It's either new people or old timers that came back due to the shock and horror of this snapshot contortion.

Making eye contact with Fung , even through a 'net post, makes me very uneasy.

My stomach is bubbling like I ate a pack of Mentos and washed them down with a two litre of Coke.

Damn you Db1 , this image will haunt me in my subconscious.
 

I'm stunned. As in an Chilean army major under Pinochet has attached household wiring to my nipples and has stopped my heart from beating just long enough to get that "light at the end of the tunnel" effect. The hott in back looks like she knows exactly what she's in for. I thought they said White Slavery was a myth! His eyebrows need to be plucked by fire ants. And I need to get the taste of Rice-a-Roni vomit out of my mouth
 

Jesus fucking Christ ...

Those eyebrows? That hair? That FUGLY "tan" ...

I nearly threw up my cereal.
 

I hear both Millenium Bag and Kenner have put a hit on this choad.
 

So Madame Tussaud's has decided to give the Joey Porsche Experience it's due??? Awesome.
 

Once again. a @ creature. C. Thomas Howell is brilliant. His eyebrows (sic) mock me. I hate. Oh, do I hate.
 

Just when I thought Mencken had it clinched.

This thing needs to be mocked to his grave, this picture reproduced a million times and copies put everywhere he goes for the rest of his life.

Ah, for the day when he looks back at this, and hangs himself.
 

What is that thing, and how do I purge it from my memory?
 

it's like you just shit all over my face you a-hole DB1..

smells like poo everywhere
 

PROMPA ALERT

PROMPA ALERT

The eyebrows...god, the eyebrows...cutting his dick off would be less emasculating than the FUCKING PLUCKED EYEBROWS.

The world is a horrible place and I want to die. Now.
 

i didn't know the Heat Miser rode in a freakin' limo, dammit!
 

I believe this species of douche is the result of someone leaving a spent rubber in the sun. What you see here is the subsequent blossom of the douche mold.
 

Dude that is totally one of the prompas. And he has another riddle for you...
 

OH MY GOD.... OH MY GOD.... I humbly ask you to take this down... OH MY GOD!!! This is the real reason for terrorism!!
 

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HOLY SHIT i wasn't prepared for this! Whats with the metallic hair and the gray eyes? This looks like a douchebag from another dimension. Quite possibly a robo-douche. D-1000. I'd like to see him fight Kenner in an all-out robo-douche battle royale.
 

I think this is the baby of Prompa and Purple Lips.
 

Usually we get the bag by the side of the hott, some scenery, etc. That gives us the comfort of distance and not see everything in gory detail. This is not one of those pictures. Even though it's a picture, I still find myself avoiding eye contact. They're like 2 pissholes in orange snow. It's confronting to the point that I feel he/it is invading my personal space. As other bloggers point things out, I (stupidly) go back to the pic and not only do I then pick up those atrocities, but find new ones. LIKE THAT FUCKING JAWSTRAP.
 

ladies and gentlemen, i present to you the next level in douche...

this guy is an absolute freak, i didn't know this was possible.

i mean, how to put it in words?

to use sporting metaphor, he is the michael phelps/usain bolt/tiger woods/lance armstrong of douche in one orange, plucked, blinged, blown-dry greasy, smelly, choadwank package.

a perfect ten!

and when i say "perfect 10" i mean pull my fingernails out with needle nose pliers and flay the skin off my body while forcing me to watch the complete youtube collection of dj bello

-haberdouchery
 

"they should have sent a poet..."
 

Please... PLEASE... will the person that found/submitted this pic please direct us to its source? We really need to have access to this assholes Myspace page if only so we can contact him and direct him to this comment thread. He NEEDS to experience the verbal smack downs that he clearly has worked so hard to deserve.
 

Let me guess; they are all heading out to the local glory hole to play "Whack-A-Pole".
 

If that was the face I saw when I looked in the mirror I'd punch myself so hard my grandkids would feel it.
 

ET go the fuck home.
 

Wow. Wow.
Being from NJ, this is pretty much the entire shoreline of Seaside Heights. I do not expose my impressionable children to this if I can help it.
Except for this picture.
My non-douchey 8 year-old son happened to be snuggling into my arm this fine morn as this sprang up. He sat straight up. Pointed, bust out laughing, and asked who that was. I said, "My precious, precious son; that is not a 'who', that is a cautionary tale. And if you EVER do anything like that, your father and I will pour hot-wax over your body as you sleep and rip the douche right off of you."
OK, so I didn't actually use the word 'douche' with him but you get the idea.
I must say, it warmed my heart that even at his tender age, he reconginizes mega-choad. Pray for him that it is always so.
As for this guy, Wow. Even by NJ standards this would turn a head or two.

Love,
Medoucha
 

Lord help us, it's Coach Kaz from Gil Thorpe. Coach Kaz, come to life to help us poor sinners.

I'm tellin' ya.
 

i am legitimately afraid that this man exists. im afraid of wat he thinks when he looks in the mirror. im afraid that there are actually other people with him in the car. i am afraid DB1...
 

With that ridiclulous face, he looks as if he opened the Candygram-for-mongo. The eyebrows had to be redrawn with a sharpy.
 

Wow. How ironic that such a flaming homo is probably a self-avowed homophobic.
 

nice eyebrows, mr. cock sandwich
 

And Xenu wept..
.......
 

This is a prototype created by the douche army. This is the message they sent along with him; "We are out there, stronger and douchier then ever...plus we smell like poo."
 

I think my anger has subsided, now I want to just pummel him with a baseball bat. Not swing it, but just grab it and beat him with it like you would the butt of a rifle, like Michael does the printer/fax in Office Space, but with the heavy end.

Oh, and since my anger has subsided since I first saw this, I'd be laughing hysterically at him the whole time I was restructuring his skull.

Wow douchebags really bring out the violence in me, I must retreat and rediscover my center, before a douche gets hurt.

oooooouuuuuuuummmmmmmm.
 

Goddamn. Sitting here staring at this shit, torn between laughing and well, laughing.

Goddamn.
 

This is one of the prompas, post prom. In the limo. And the chick with him is pissed she might not be first on his list....of people who get his eyebrow waxers number.
 

HOLY BALLSLAPPING HELL!!!

i was not prepared for this DB1. not the start to my Friday morning that i had dreamt about.

geh.


need. more. coffee.
 

Is he still there? Had to check back, DB1, because my first glance at this prompa made me fall off my chair and I could NOT get back up for a good long while. Couldn't even comment, it was so shocking. I mean, the black chin-line and the white hairline, plucky brows and Orangina-tan, the COW EYES. Have to go get coffee, am I having a morning hallucination? GAWD!!!
 

arvbl;iabyhiyrg cigr9a7ev97agvnvraxmipvbiz9xc7vy97vuni vhiycvryrh9eh-9v-rvegt][t]y[oho[hghgh
 

One of the Prompas on his way to a Jonas Brothers concert, and ironic that all that manscaping only got him a pasty suburban chic. I donged a chic like that once, and her fupa smelled like the spice drawer in my grandmothers kitchen.
 

Can we kick his ass?
 

He looks like he is stuck in the interstages of turning into the Incredible Hulk
 

@pfah

Coffee will not help. COFFEE WILL NOT HELP!

Please, for all that is holy with Xenu, post the haiku pic soon so that (a) I don't have to see this front and center, and (b) I can avoid doing my work.
 

fs9sdhu9d-f-9uivrg5gjhngkjfbnf.kjbbk]g[bpg]kpogjb]gjouisbuh908dby-g79syf78syfgyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy9sdf7yhgsudfgnfuion fndgu9hsdf90g8sdfgh0dg0f8df8gg98u0gufug0fu8fucgue whoarjisdgu0vfhngufnsfgtarmaldfoinsiuahsduighf80gssdfgregw54e
 

@mr. white......sonnabitch, you were right. after my 3rd cup o' joe, i opened my browser, launched HCwDBs, and went into a fit of muscular spasms that have not ceased. i may have also shit myself.

curse you DB1. for the love of all that is holy, please post another picture soon.
 

@bcs.....is Flytheeth over at your house?
 

at what point are guys like this getting into Al Jolson/minstrel territory?

cause i'm pretty sure this guy crossed that line quite some time ago...
 

Mammy!!!!
 

this superdouche has to be the most ridiculous human being on the planet.

Can't...stop...headbutting...monitor.
 

hi my name is Jennifer I am BCS's secretary we just found him bleeding uncontrollably from his ears and eyeballs, his head mashed against his keyboard with his browser window open to this website. the last thing he screamed was "FUNG!" followed by a bunch of incoherent grunting sounds.
 

Ooompa Prompa doompa dee doo
DB1 has a picture for you
Oompa Prompa doompa dee dah
Here is an orange douche that you must mock
 

Oh please please tell me this thing is not real. I refuse to believe there are things like this crawling on the earth!

XOXO
Kristi
 

Jennifer, what are you wearing?
 

R.I.P. bcs...


that sucks, too.

the new season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia was just about to start...
 

Tan-can tan and plucked eyebrows.

When does this scrote graduate to eyeliner and foundation?
 

This has nothing to do with this pic, but it's still awesome. The German word for "tramp stamp" translates to "ass antlers."

http://www.thelocal.de/14375/20080918/
 

sorry. i'm ok.

jennifer really is my secretary, and she really is a piece of ass.
 

Did I just pull this scrote outta my toaster? ..gotta have more coffee...
 

@scrotten yeah my favorite show last night's cannibal episode was pretty funny, although i am looking forward to greenman and the nightman's triumphant return later in the season
 

Gives new meaning to "Don't shoot untill you see the whites of their eyes!"

Ready, aim...go ahead now...
 

Dude looks like an atomic bomb went off in his face.
 

bcs...pull on your darksocks and get a hold of yourself, the day is long.

Jennifer...take care of him.
 

How utterly awesome would this guy be if he suddenly shaved his head, revealing the pale scalp beneath?

He would look like fucking Iron Man or something.
 

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. No, DON'T!!!!
 

He'd be a Mr White-darksock recombinant clone if he did that...
 

He's look like iron ore, or someone post-chemo, or maybe, just maybe, Chemo-Mesabi.
 

Fung Koo
Kookaburra
Burr cut
cut farts
fart-face
face-off
off-color
bad joke
 

congrats to this guy: ugliest man i've personally seen on this site.

-crankygypsy
 

This like one of those procedures to turn a white boy in to a black dude. I wanna donkey punch this Oompa, set his Sonic the Hedgehog on fire and ass kick him over Niagra Falls.
 

gypsy...I wouldn't go as far as calling him a Man!
 

fuck fung!
 

Jesus God... the most horrifying scroto. Ever.
 

And so the prophecy has come to pass.

The one who would claim the true throne hath risen - a man-scaped demon - from his fiery portal, the sunroof of a stretch hummer rented for prom.

FUNG HAS ARRIVED.

Know his orange fury and weep, for there are no more to gaze upon.
 

Fuck Fishslap, DJ Blowme, and this orange piece of whatever it is!

Oh my sweet baby Jesus nursing at Mary's breast!

I was not anywhere near ready for this when I clicked on my bookmark to this fantastic site.

I literally screamed, and my office mates ran to my aid. They too screamed at this atrocity of orange, spike, and eyebrow waxing.

Fuck me with a sideways fence post!!

Not since Mooby have I had such a visceral reaction to a picture. DB1 you must in some way be a Masochist.

@bcs, glad to hear you're ok. Can ya send us a nice pic of Jennifer?? Please? I need something to cleanse my retinal palate as it were.
 

That is the Hurricane Katrina of Douchebags!!! Even a giant stadium filled with human excriment is preferable to this.
 

i see dead people!
 

Take cover people, for the apocolypse is upon us.

Don't say you werent warned.

~douchesquire
 

Jesus! DO they make these choad wanks in a factory in Jersey?
 

Can someone re-incarnate Pumpy so he can pound Fung's head into his chest cavity?
 

behold, the orange horse....
 

Awesome. That's all I have to say... no wait... it isn't. This kid is such a fucking dumbass it boggles my mind. It is obvious that this guy owns defective mirrors, because nooooobody that isn't insane would ever step out into the harsh light of day looking that ignorant.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Not even and extra bowl of Coco-Meth cereal can get me through this douchestosity. Unbelievable.
 

hahhahhahahhahahahaha

FFS!
 

its prompa loopa
 

its prompa loopa
 

JEE-ZUS DB1!1!!, if you want me to teach you how to do a JavaScript onClick Image Swapper, so that you can put a Safe picture of ~a kitten~ up First and give people the Choice of looking at The Horror (or NOT), and then switching back to the cat, I would be happy to do so.

-Because Good Gravy, that scared me! It looks like God just took a shit into a limo and now Bono's going to be jealous at not being the largest single turd ever spawned.

Cripes! -You know what, here's the code:
<img id="img1" name="img1" src="http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg" onclick="javascript: document.img1.src = (document.img1.src == 'http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg') ? 'http://yoursite.com/images/image2.jpg' : 'http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg';" alt="alt tags here" title="title tag here" / >

-And if that doesn't work: Here's a page I whipped up. View Source in your browser for the code: http://www.wonkydonky.net/imageswapper.htm

You know, I've still got a fucking migraine! -This fucker has got to be the damn hcwdb version of a GOATSE. [-barfs]
 

With some of the scrotes, I figure that they hide it pretty well around the family and that they may come from normal homes- they just happen to be bad apples. Lots of tats, goofy hair, doucheface, most of that can be hidden relatively easily. But what in the f~ck must his parents be like? To me, this guy is like a Kobe Bryant or Barry Bonds - perfect genetics and nurturing coming into play in a way that moves him to the stratosphere. There is no doubt in my mind that both mom and dad are world class Uberdouches. They must have started young - kind of like a twisted evil version Earl Woods in Training a Tiger. From a young age they must have nurtured the inner douche of this guy and spit out a being who, heretofore was neve