Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Fung

Ohhhhhhhh Boooyyyyyyyy! We gotta ourselves a stage 5 uberdouche I reckon! Prepare to fire!

Nice stencled brows you fucking homo!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:09 PM

Instant weekly winner, if there was more hot in the pic I'd say instant monthly winner as well. This guy makes Joey Porsche look like a two bit hack! Long live the FUNG!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:12 PM

Not Douche, UberGay. And by gay I mean... well, you know.

# posted by

StankBoo : 8:13 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

StankBoo : 8:14 PM

Only real people can win douche of the week, this clearly just a clay representation

very life-like though

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:15 PM

I. can't. stop. starring. at. this. picture.

This might be my new background.

Wow.

# posted by

Haunted : 8:15 PM

Oohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I was not prepared for that one DB1...

You have got to put some form of warning up before you unleash something of this magnitude. I will say it again; this is just wrong...

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer

# posted by

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer : 8:18 PM

This picture was taken to always remind Joey, Tommy, Ben, and Kimmy of the stellar senior prank they pulled off where they stole a figure out of the wax museum and dressed it up like a greasy Jerz douche and took it to school.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:20 PM

ROFL, AIYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:21 PM

I ask you...Where Are His Parents!?!

Friends?

School Councilors?

PogostickingJehovah! What an asshole!

I think I'm gonna drink the whole bottle of Sake in the fridge because his people of influence allow this kind of clusterfuck of an ejaculate to exist and, perhaps, thrive. My only hope is that this was a mob hit and she pops his porcupine with dual 22's to the melon.

Yup. I said that I hoped he was windscreen stain...What? I drink Sake sometimes, what did you expect?

# posted by

squaw douche : 8:22 PM

This calls for an airstrike.

# posted by

Fontaine : 8:22 PM

This just doesnt seem real. Is this some kind of a sick joke? Its hard to believe that people who look like this are out there breathing the same air that I breath. Hopefully I'll never see something like this in person...ever.

# posted by

Weekend at Douchies : 8:23 PM

His eyebrows have been plucked more than an emergency basted turkey at 11pm on Thanksgiving Evening.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:25 PM

Looks like he blow-dried his hair with a lamprey and silverfish semen.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:26 PM

I'm losing faith in women simply because that innocent highschool cutie in the back can actually be ok with sitting two feet away from that freakshow.

# posted by

Mcdouche-Pimplescrote 08' : 8:27 PM

His gullet contains the entrance to the world’s largest ant farm.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:27 PM

Mickey Rourke finally kicked heroin, only to succumb to the addiction of waiting for the final kernels to pop, face pressed with moist urgency against the microwave door like a bare-assed Oprah's vulva flaps against a hot bicycle seat.

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:27 PM

Is that one of the prompas?

# posted by

K A : 8:29 PM

The real question that arises from this portrait is....Where can it go from here? Can people really be more douchie than this?...Anyone? I want all of your hypothesis' on this issue.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:30 PM

He is an over-ripe carrot plucked from the taint of an Oompa.

Shit. Enought from me. G'night all.

Happy Haiku thoughts!!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:30 PM

So tonight instead of 'Evil Dead' me and my toddlers will screen 'Team America - World Police'.

Don''t worry; it's not the uncut version. Shame on you, Mr. White...

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:31 PM

What cruel task made this douche-golem rise from his bed of clay to walk the earth like people? Who crafted this choad-homunculus and set him loose on our planet?

Imagine--this specimen has parents. And they look at him and swell with pride. Much like my throat is swelling with puke as I fight the urge to ralph. Seriously.

# posted by

BF Art & Collateral Committee : 8:34 PM

gotta be some kind of douchie for this douchosity. its like a litteral black hole of douchery, i mean, i'm convinced just by looking at this picture that it is not possible to be within a 50ft radius of this douche without being sucked in. i think seeing this douche in purpose would melt faces ala raiders of the lost douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:34 PM

Oh my dear God! Its a Prompa
"Prompa Version 2.0 The College Years," and by college years I mean big smelly pile of cow poo.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:34 PM

Darksock -

Why weren't you my daddy growing up? Hey, maybe you were! Are you Mexican?

Anyways, I'm glad my daughter ain't old enough to worry about them things yet. I watch SportsCenter while she sleeps blissfully.

Good luck with your movie and hope Mrs. 'Sock feels better soon!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:34 PM

.....is he black?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:35 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Shade : 8:37 PM

He was once a little green slab of clay. Fung-y!

# posted by

Don't bring me dowwwwwn, douche! : 8:38 PM

What...the....holy crap.
As a woman:
No I would not date this guy. I date nerds. at least normally. I'm losing hope in the nerds because I had to dump the last one.
But the douche..good god...what is wrong with him? is he diseased?

# posted by

Shade : 8:38 PM

What's the fastest way to kill a baby? Have this douche play peek-a-boo with the baby. Instant heart attack.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:40 PM

Willy Wonka and the Douche Factory.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:41 PM

Speaking of women dating this guy...I wouldn't respect a girl that found this attractive, in fact I can't even imagine the kind of girls this guy pulls...probably hideously fake bleeths.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:41 PM

Dude looks like a porcupine mated with a Real Doll.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:43 PM

i agree with k a and anon. that's definitely one of the prompas!

# posted by

memphis doucheworkers local 421 : 8:47 PM

impossible. simply impossible. no one would actually go out in public like this, would they? this defies all logic. i'm truly at a loss. no, no....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

# posted by

Caleb : 8:57 PM

C. Thomas Howell as soulman

# posted by

creature : 9:15 PM

Just think: you can click on Fung's closeup pic and make it LARGER!

Just like this one.....

You're welcome. >8 D

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 9:16 PM

This is worse than bcs's gay darksock link from a day or two ago.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:20 PM

Just consider how much time this bag must spend making himself such an uberdouche. It boggles the mind. I have lost all faith in humanity after looking at this pic. Somebody please put this thing out of its misery.

# posted by

Donkster : 9:20 PM

his ears are white... heh heh

# posted by

creature : 9:21 PM

Man, this photo brought out some rare bloggers.

Names I haven't seen before. Wow. It's either new people or old timers that came back due to the shock and horror of this snapshot contortion.

Making eye contact with Fung , even through a 'net post, makes me very uneasy.

My stomach is bubbling like I ate a pack of Mentos and washed them down with a two litre of Coke.

Damn you Db1 , this image will haunt me in my subconscious.

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:21 PM

I'm stunned. As in an Chilean army major under Pinochet has attached household wiring to my nipples and has stopped my heart from beating just long enough to get that "light at the end of the tunnel" effect. The hott in back looks like she knows exactly what she's in for. I thought they said White Slavery was a myth! His eyebrows need to be plucked by fire ants. And I need to get the taste of Rice-a-Roni vomit out of my mouth

# posted by

Australopithicus bagensis : 9:26 PM

Jesus fucking Christ ...

Those eyebrows? That hair? That FUGLY "tan" ...

I nearly threw up my cereal.

# posted by

Sara : 9:35 PM

I hear both Millenium Bag and Kenner have put a hit on this choad.

# posted by

F McBaggin' : 9:48 PM

So Madame Tussaud's has decided to give the Joey Porsche Experience it's due??? Awesome.

# posted by

F McBaggin' : 9:52 PM

Once again. a @ creature. C. Thomas Howell is brilliant. His eyebrows (sic) mock me. I hate. Oh, do I hate.

# posted by

squaw douche : 9:53 PM

Just when I thought Mencken had it clinched.

This thing needs to be mocked to his grave, this picture reproduced a million times and copies put everywhere he goes for the rest of his life.

Ah, for the day when he looks back at this, and hangs himself.

# posted by

Gaijindouche : 10:08 PM

What is that thing, and how do I purge it from my memory?

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:21 PM

it's like you just shit all over my face you a-hole DB1..

smells like poo everywhere

# posted by

Dennis Bagger : 10:30 PM

PROMPA ALERT

PROMPA ALERT

The eyebrows...god, the eyebrows...cutting his dick off would be less emasculating than the FUCKING PLUCKED EYEBROWS.

The world is a horrible place and I want to die. Now.

# posted by

Douchenstein : 10:35 PM

i didn't know the Heat Miser rode in a freakin' limo, dammit!

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:43 PM

I believe this species of douche is the result of someone leaving a spent rubber in the sun. What you see here is the subsequent blossom of the douche mold.

# posted by

Dan : 10:47 PM

Dude that is totally one of the prompas. And he has another riddle for you...

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:52 PM

OH MY GOD.... OH MY GOD.... I humbly ask you to take this down... OH MY GOD!!! This is the real reason for terrorism!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:43 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

King Douchankhamun : 12:09 AM

HOLY SHIT i wasn't prepared for this! Whats with the metallic hair and the gray eyes? This looks like a douchebag from another dimension. Quite possibly a robo-douche. D-1000. I'd like to see him fight Kenner in an all-out robo-douche battle royale.

# posted by

King Douchankhamun : 12:16 AM

I think this is the baby of Prompa and Purple Lips.

# posted by

King Douchankhamun : 12:19 AM

Usually we get the bag by the side of the hott, some scenery, etc. That gives us the comfort of distance and not see everything in gory detail. This is not one of those pictures. Even though it's a picture, I still find myself avoiding eye contact. They're like 2 pissholes in orange snow. It's confronting to the point that I feel he/it is invading my personal space. As other bloggers point things out, I (stupidly) go back to the pic and not only do I then pick up those atrocities, but find new ones. LIKE THAT FUCKING JAWSTRAP.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 12:39 AM

ladies and gentlemen, i present to you the next level in douche...

this guy is an absolute freak, i didn't know this was possible.

i mean, how to put it in words?

to use sporting metaphor, he is the michael phelps/usain bolt/tiger woods/lance armstrong of douche in one orange, plucked, blinged, blown-dry greasy, smelly, choadwank package.

a perfect ten!

and when i say "perfect 10" i mean pull my fingernails out with needle nose pliers and flay the skin off my body while forcing me to watch the complete youtube collection of dj bello

-haberdouchery

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:58 AM

"they should have sent a poet..."

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:01 AM

Please... PLEASE... will the person that found/submitted this pic please direct us to its source? We really need to have access to this assholes Myspace page if only so we can contact him and direct him to this comment thread. He NEEDS to experience the verbal smack downs that he clearly has worked so hard to deserve.

# posted by

Douche Unto Others : 2:54 AM

Let me guess; they are all heading out to the local glory hole to play "Whack-A-Pole".

# posted by

Chowda So Good You'll Lick Our Bowls : 2:58 AM

If that was the face I saw when I looked in the mirror I'd punch myself so hard my grandkids would feel it.

# posted by

MC 900 Foot Douchebag : 3:23 AM

ET go the fuck home.

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:43 AM

Wow. Wow.
Being from NJ, this is pretty much the entire shoreline of Seaside Heights. I do not expose my impressionable children to this if I can help it.
Except for this picture.
My non-douchey 8 year-old son happened to be snuggling into my arm this fine morn as this sprang up. He sat straight up. Pointed, bust out laughing, and asked who that was. I said, "My precious, precious son; that is not a 'who', that is a cautionary tale. And if you EVER do anything like that, your father and I will pour hot-wax over your body as you sleep and rip the douche right off of you."
OK, so I didn't actually use the word 'douche' with him but you get the idea.
I must say, it warmed my heart that even at his tender age, he reconginizes mega-choad. Pray for him that it is always so.
As for this guy, Wow. Even by NJ standards this would turn a head or two.

Love,
Medoucha

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:12 AM

Lord help us, it's Coach Kaz from Gil Thorpe. Coach Kaz, come to life to help us poor sinners.

I'm tellin' ya.

# posted by

Cleopatra : 4:14 AM

i am legitimately afraid that this man exists. im afraid of wat he thinks when he looks in the mirror. im afraid that there are actually other people with him in the car. i am afraid DB1...

# posted by

el doucherino : 4:41 AM

With that ridiclulous face, he looks as if he opened the Candygram-for-mongo. The eyebrows had to be redrawn with a sharpy.

# posted by

badVlad : 4:51 AM

Wow. How ironic that such a flaming homo is probably a self-avowed homophobic.

# posted by

notadouche : 5:07 AM

nice eyebrows, mr. cock sandwich

# posted by

kim kardouchian : 5:08 AM

And Xenu wept..
.......

# posted by

doucheNozzle : 5:34 AM

This is a prototype created by the douche army. This is the message they sent along with him; "We are out there, stronger and douchier then ever...plus we smell like poo."

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:48 AM

I think my anger has subsided, now I want to just pummel him with a baseball bat. Not swing it, but just grab it and beat him with it like you would the butt of a rifle, like Michael does the printer/fax in Office Space, but with the heavy end.

Oh, and since my anger has subsided since I first saw this, I'd be laughing hysterically at him the whole time I was restructuring his skull.

Wow douchebags really bring out the violence in me, I must retreat and rediscover my center, before a douche gets hurt.

oooooouuuuuuuummmmmmmm.

# posted by

Gaijindouche : 5:54 AM

Goddamn. Sitting here staring at this shit, torn between laughing and well, laughing.

Goddamn.

# posted by

Gaijindouche : 5:58 AM

This is one of the prompas, post prom. In the limo. And the chick with him is pissed she might not be first on his list....of people who get his eyebrow waxers number.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:19 AM

HOLY BALLSLAPPING HELL!!!

i was not prepared for this DB1. not the start to my Friday morning that i had dreamt about.

geh.

need. more. coffee.

# posted by

pfah : 6:24 AM

Is he still there? Had to check back, DB1, because my first glance at this prompa made me fall off my chair and I could NOT get back up for a good long while. Couldn't even comment, it was so shocking. I mean, the black chin-line and the white hairline, plucky brows and Orangina-tan, the COW EYES. Have to go get coffee, am I having a morning hallucination? GAWD!!!

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 6:30 AM

arvbl;iabyhiyrg cigr9a7ev97agvnvraxmipvbiz9xc7vy97vuni vhiycvryrh9eh-9v-rvegt][t]y[oho[hghgh

# posted by

bcs : 6:33 AM

One of the Prompas on his way to a Jonas Brothers concert, and ironic that all that manscaping only got him a pasty suburban chic. I donged a chic like that once, and her fupa smelled like the spice drawer in my grandmothers kitchen.

# posted by

Douche Bigalow : 6:34 AM

Can we kick his ass?

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:41 AM

He looks like he is stuck in the interstages of turning into the Incredible Hulk

# posted by

uss douchenbag : 6:45 AM

@pfah

Coffee will not help. COFFEE WILL NOT HELP!

Please, for all that is holy with Xenu, post the haiku pic soon so that (a) I don't have to see this front and center, and (b) I can avoid doing my work.

# posted by

Mr. White : 6:46 AM

fs9sdhu9d-f-9uivrg5gjhngkjfbnf.kjbbk]g[bpg]kpogjb]gjouisbuh908dby-g79syf78syfgyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy9sdf7yhgsudfgnfuion fndgu9hsdf90g8sdfgh0dg0f8df8gg98u0gufug0fu8fucgue whoarjisdgu0vfhngufnsfgtarmaldfoinsiuahsduighf80gssdfgregw54e

# posted by

bcs : 6:49 AM

@mr. white......sonnabitch, you were right. after my 3rd cup o' joe, i opened my browser, launched HCwDBs, and went into a fit of muscular spasms that have not ceased. i may have also shit myself.

curse you DB1. for the love of all that is holy, please post another picture soon.

# posted by

pfah : 6:50 AM

@bcs.....is Flytheeth over at your house?

# posted by

pfah : 6:51 AM

at what point are guys like this getting into Al Jolson/minstrel territory?

cause i'm pretty sure this guy crossed that line quite some time ago...

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:01 AM

Mammy!!!!

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 7:10 AM

this superdouche has to be the most ridiculous human being on the planet.

Can't...stop...headbutting...monitor.

# posted by

johnny : 7:15 AM

hi my name is Jennifer I am BCS's secretary we just found him bleeding uncontrollably from his ears and eyeballs, his head mashed against his keyboard with his browser window open to this website. the last thing he screamed was "FUNG!" followed by a bunch of incoherent grunting sounds.

# posted by

bcs : 7:15 AM

Ooompa Prompa doompa dee doo
DB1 has a picture for you
Oompa Prompa doompa dee dah
Here is an orange douche that you must mock

# posted by

massengill : 7:17 AM

Oh please please tell me this thing is not real. I refuse to believe there are things like this crawling on the earth!

XOXO
Kristi

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:18 AM

Jennifer, what are you wearing?

# posted by

ned's atomic douchebin : 7:18 AM

R.I.P. bcs...

that sucks, too.

the new season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia was just about to start...

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:19 AM

Tan-can tan and plucked eyebrows.

When does this scrote graduate to eyeliner and foundation?

# posted by

Dr. Douche : 7:25 AM

This has nothing to do with this pic, but it's still awesome. The German word for "tramp stamp" translates to "ass antlers."

http://www.thelocal.de/14375/20080918/

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:26 AM

sorry. i'm ok.

jennifer really is my secretary, and she really is a piece of ass.

# posted by

bcs : 7:29 AM

Did I just pull this scrote outta my toaster? ..gotta have more coffee...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 7:30 AM

@scrotten yeah my favorite show last night's cannibal episode was pretty funny, although i am looking forward to greenman and the nightman's triumphant return later in the season

# posted by

bcs : 7:30 AM

Gives new meaning to "Don't shoot untill you see the whites of their eyes!"

Ready, aim...go ahead now...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 7:32 AM

Dude looks like an atomic bomb went off in his face.

# posted by

Dead End : 7:35 AM

bcs...pull on your darksocks and get a hold of yourself, the day is long.

Jennifer...take care of him.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 7:37 AM

How utterly awesome would this guy be if he suddenly shaved his head, revealing the pale scalp beneath?

He would look like fucking Iron Man or something.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:37 AM

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. No, DON'T!!!!

# posted by

Miss Anonymous : 7:45 AM

He'd be a Mr White-darksock recombinant clone if he did that...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 7:48 AM

He's look like iron ore, or someone post-chemo, or maybe, just maybe, Chemo-Mesabi.

# posted by

The Lone Ranger : 7:50 AM

Fung Koo
Kookaburra
Burr cut
cut farts
fart-face
face-off
off-color
bad joke

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 8:00 AM

congrats to this guy: ugliest man i've personally seen on this site.

-crankygypsy

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:03 AM

This like one of those procedures to turn a white boy in to a black dude. I wanna donkey punch this Oompa, set his Sonic the Hedgehog on fire and ass kick him over Niagra Falls.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:15 AM

gypsy...I wouldn't go as far as calling him a Man!

# posted by

kim kardouchian : 8:22 AM

fuck fung!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:46 AM

Jesus God... the most horrifying scroto. Ever.

# posted by

Yo-Yo-Bra : 8:49 AM

And so the prophecy has come to pass.

The one who would claim the true throne hath risen - a man-scaped demon - from his fiery portal, the sunroof of a stretch hummer rented for prom.

FUNG HAS ARRIVED.

Know his orange fury and weep, for there are no more to gaze upon.

# posted by

Robert : 8:53 AM

Fuck Fishslap, DJ Blowme, and this orange piece of whatever it is!

Oh my sweet baby Jesus nursing at Mary's breast!

I was not anywhere near ready for this when I clicked on my bookmark to this fantastic site.

I literally screamed, and my office mates ran to my aid. They too screamed at this atrocity of orange, spike, and eyebrow waxing.

Fuck me with a sideways fence post!!

Not since Mooby have I had such a visceral reaction to a picture. DB1 you must in some way be a Masochist.

@bcs, glad to hear you're ok. Can ya send us a nice pic of Jennifer?? Please? I need something to cleanse my retinal palate as it were.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 8:54 AM

That is the Hurricane Katrina of Douchebags!!! Even a giant stadium filled with human excriment is preferable to this.

# posted by

HRH King Friday XIII : 9:00 AM

i see dead people!

# posted by

cole sear : 9:09 AM

Take cover people, for the apocolypse is upon us.

Don't say you werent warned.

~douchesquire

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:22 AM

Jesus! DO they make these choad wanks in a factory in Jersey?

# posted by

Dunkterdouche : 9:29 AM

Can someone re-incarnate Pumpy so he can pound Fung's head into his chest cavity?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:30 AM

behold, the orange horse....

# posted by

Caleb : 10:19 AM

Awesome. That's all I have to say... no wait... it isn't. This kid is such a fucking dumbass it boggles my mind. It is obvious that this guy owns defective mirrors, because nooooobody that isn't insane would ever step out into the harsh light of day looking that ignorant.

- Douchey Smurf

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:23 AM

Not even and extra bowl of Coco-Meth cereal can get me through this douchestosity. Unbelievable.

# posted by

Marcel Douchechamp : 10:32 AM

hahhahhahahhahahahaha

FFS!

# posted by

Legal Douche : 10:58 AM

its prompa loopa

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:15 AM

its prompa loopa

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:15 AM

JEE-ZUS DB1!1!!, if you want me to teach you how to do a JavaScript onClick Image Swapper, so that you can put a Safe picture of ~a kitten~ up First and give people the Choice of looking at The Horror (or NOT), and then switching back to the cat, I would be happy to do so.

-Because Good Gravy, that scared me! It looks like God just took a shit into a limo and now Bono's going to be jealous at not being the largest single turd ever spawned.

Cripes! -You know what, here's the code:
<img id="img1" name="img1" src="http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg" onclick="javascript: document.img1.src = (document.img1.src == 'http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg') ? 'http://yoursite.com/images/image2.jpg' : 'http://yoursite.com/images/image1.jpg';" alt="alt tags here" title="title tag here" / >

-And if that doesn't work: Here's a page I whipped up. View Source in your browser for the code: http://www.wonkydonky.net/imageswapper.htm

You know, I've still got a fucking migraine! -This fucker has got to be the damn hcwdb version of a GOATSE. [-barfs]

# posted by

wonkydouchey : 11:16 AM

With some of the scrotes, I figure that they hide it pretty well around the family and that they may come from normal homes- they just happen to be bad apples. Lots of tats, goofy hair, doucheface, most of that can be hidden relatively easily. But what in the f~ck must his parents be like? To me, this guy is like a Kobe Bryant or Barry Bonds - perfect genetics and nurturing coming into play in a way that moves him to the stratosphere. There is no doubt in my mind that both mom and dad are world class Uberdouches. They must have started young - kind of like a twisted evil version Earl Woods in Training a Tiger. From a young age they must have nurtured the inner douche of this guy and spit out a being who, heretofore was never known before.

If Bagging becomes an Olympic event, Michael Phelps' 8 medals would look like chump change to Fung

# posted by

DaCuckoo : 11:31 AM

This poor sould has had way too many mocha lattes in his life.

# posted by

anonymous4 : 11:46 AM

Fuller Brush company called, they want back their newest demo-model bristle-hair floor brush.

# posted by

Anonymous4 : 11:51 AM

Ok fellas look, I'm gay. But I don't like rainbows OK?

That guy is a Level 5 Megadouche. I can only pray he's straight because frankly, he's a fucking embarrassment to us and we don't want him.

Hell, if he is gay *I* would gladly bash his flamey ass - just after tearing those asinine, colored contacts out of his head with a garden trowel.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:06 PM

Ahhh ... oompa prompa's all grown up.

# posted by

Mr. Biggs : 12:08 PM

What? He looks like a pretty nice guy.

# posted by

Baba Gadouche : 12:34 PM

Sooo....apparently you can inject self-tanner into your veins.

# posted by

elastic snap hole of the love bear : 12:35 PM

He can bench 300 lbs...and have sex with men simultaneously

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:50 PM

Damn, that guy looks like a survivor of the Hiroshima bombing.

# posted by

Beltman713 : 12:54 PM

His color deserves a new designation. He's not quite orange...he's...ashen.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:55 PM

His color deserves a new designation. He's not quite orange...he's...ashen.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:55 PM

If women find this attractive then I do not have a fucking prayer of getting laid anytime soon...

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:55 PM

That's it, I've lost all faith in society. Why can't I shoot people like this? GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON. I mean, shit, if you're gonna pluck your eyebrows, at least make it look decent. You're male (this is just an assumption btw) you're supposed to have bushy eyebrows. It comes with the territory. Then again, you're also not supposed to look...I don't even know wtf color he is. Honestly, who finds this attractive? I'd be hard pressed not to laugh my ass off at this guy if I saw him.

# posted by

Ashfish : 1:17 PM

I don't exaggerate when I write that I screamed out loud in fear and something approaching utter horror when I first saw this picture.

# posted by

KirkDogg : 1:52 PM

I want to punch his dad in the dick.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:02 PM

WTF is that?

# posted by

Dr. Douchebag : 2:05 PM

@Anon, 12:50 p.m. -

"He can bench 300 lbs...and have sex with men simultaneously"

That sounds like doubletalk - he's "best buddies" with the fellas from the dresssox.com page.

No, you don't want to look. Just Google it and read the summary. I'm still scarred - THANKS, BCS! - but my vision's back up to 20/200 as my bleach-seared eyes continue to heal.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 2:14 PM

Wow, I bet if I manscape my eyebrows I'll look good too. Fuck!
Also, he is turning purple.

# posted by

canadian bacon choad : 2:28 PM

Ned 7:18

and baba 12:34,

too frick'n funny. A subtle backhanded slap hurts a lot more than a punch in the face sometimes.

# posted by

Chowda So Good You'll Lick Our Bowls : 3:15 PM

Madame Douchesaud's Wax Museum

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:49 PM

Fung poo or tung oil, make your choice.

Either way, gimme a wipe rag.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 3:51 PM

George Hamilton's lawyers called...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 3:58 PM

The New Jersey EPA called and want a full investigation on beach pollution.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 4:02 PM

Staten Island Fairy?

# posted by

anonymous : 4:10 PM

Zonker's lawyers called...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 4:14 PM

seriously, isn't that one of the orange assholes in the prom pics? it's gotta be. how is she not screaming her fucking head off in horror? fabulous eyebrows, "man".

# posted by

AC/Douchey : 4:14 PM

The Scales of Justice called and want their balance back...

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 4:18 PM

I dunno guys as a chick, I think I can fix him up.

Face/skin: I need some latex gloves, an air brush gun full of betadine and skin grafts. CLR is only for the showerhead, it's not all purpose body wash.

hair: industrial solvent (sustainable, of course)

voice: Michael Jackson throat surgery and a speech therapist for that accent

Once he's done with the plastic bubble and bandages, I'll take him to the 'rents.

# posted by

Summer's Eve of Destruction : 4:19 PM

I bet it's halloween or some dress-up party. His mission: to be a gotti brother (http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/1395/gotti35qr.png)

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:05 PM

We should only be thankful for the glimpse of hott in the background, that this particular specimen might qualify for posting hereupon and by hereupon I mean he plucks his eyebrows more intently than the hott we glimpse in the background, or possibly more intently than anyone ever.

What unfathomable motivation would lend oneself to so precisely apply this shade of mung so meticulously? How finely can one manscape the chinstrap, or shade the douchestache? How does one manage to craft one's douchecoif with such misguided panache? What keen sense must be applied to this selection of scrotebling?

And the answer, of course, is who the f*ck cares.

--VS

# posted by

Vinny Scumbaglia : 5:10 PM

I was already going to start drinking...now I'm gonna drink twice as much

# posted by

Jurassic Douche : 5:52 PM

HAHAHA!! oh my god.. this cant be... i cant even FATHOM that this kakhi colored tweezer happy homo even gets laid? I would LOVEE to see the chiks that actually DONT turn that down. I would screw a mongoloid before letting that shit pump me!

# posted by

Jem : 6:09 PM

Scariest. Fucking. Picture. Ever.

This can't be real.

Bypass the weekly and the monthly - straight to the HOS for this POS.

# posted by

Snoop Douchey Bagg : 8:31 PM

"I'm Mister Douche Miser,
I'm Mister Scrote."
I'm Mister Douchepimple,
I'm Mister Orange-Clown Choad.
They call me Douche Miser
What ever I touch
Turns to Douche in my clutch
It's too much."

# posted by

TeddyDouche : 9:32 PM

I don't know. Could this be a costume party? He definitely looks like he's going for Iceman, and she looks like she's going for Rogue.

Possible?

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:13 PM

Is there a female human on the face of this planet who finds this even slightly attractive, and/or thinks "oooohhh I hope HE asks me to dance"?????????

If so, we are in serious trouble.

# posted by

AXE : 12:11 AM

Oh christ what happened to him. When did leather become the most popular skin tone.

# posted by

Crocodile Dun Douche : 1:56 AM

It's kinda like Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame membership here - the Beatles are in as a group, and I'm sure all the individual members are in (or will be soon if not).

Same for the Hall of Scrote - the Oompa Prompas are in as a bag of douche, so why not each individual Prompa?

And by "bag," that might be as good a term for a group of douchebags as there is. Yes, it's repetitve, but wouldn't you like to throw them all in trash bags and leave them by the street for garbage day?

Never overlook the obvious, though if anyone has a better idea (and I'm sure someone does), I'm all ears. And unlike Fung, my ears aren't turning into ashen lilac.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 4:25 AM

this should be renamed "Frosted Flakes"

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:51 AM

I can still see it when I close my eyes... his 10,000 megawatt douche aura has irreparably burned my retinas!!!!!!!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:07 AM

So THAT'S the alien they've been hiding in Area 51!

# posted by

Orel Douchehiser : 10:34 AM

What the hell?

just ultradouchey, as if all the douchey signifiers combined like some japanese robot into Fung.

Seriously, I am awestruck at the level of douche. This is Marlon Perkins level douchery, chasing an elusive mondo scrote.

# posted by

Tom from Uncle Milty's Ashram : 10:56 AM

Damn DB1, the Bag Hunters really liked (hated) this guy!

Glad to be of service with my first bag.

- Adolf

Fuck Fung

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 12:00 PM

HCwDB of the Week: FUNG FTW

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:02 PM

FUNG is instant HOS material.

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:38 PM

FUNG is instant HOS material.

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:38 PM

@Anon, 5:51 a.m. -

Why do you say that? Oh, it's because Fung is scr-r-r-r-rote!

Got it.

And yes, anon 3:38 p.m.'s double post is worthwhile - Fung is instantly HoS-worthy. Even the Metaphysical Pooligan, one I thought bound for no waiting period, needs to work on his "game" to achieve half the 'baggery level of Fung.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 3:58 PM

Fung comments list is fast approaching ultimate scroat history!

- Adolf

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:04 PM

Overly sculped eyebrows, chinstrap goatee, fake blue contacts, way too much self tanner, lip gloss, more hairgel than one person should be allowed to purchase, shirt 3 sizes too small, multiple matching jewelry...you're a fucking HOMO. Any girl who would sleep with that should end her life...do NOT be allowed to reproduce.

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:48 PM

Oh...MY...GOD

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:20 PM

Bag of the year candidate!

Fung has achieved a level of bagness above and beyond all levels before him. Other scrotes have tossed thier squirt on tans and hair jizz into the trash in shame, as they know they can never come close to Fungs scroteness.
Fung has raised the bar of bagness out of reach.

# posted by

Mick Bagger : 5:44 PM

What is "douchebag" in Guido language???

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:56 PM

HOS HOS HOS HOS HOS
Instant Instant Instant
No Contest No Contest No Contest
Hands down Hands down Hands Down
Ceptin'...
DB1, you just wnat all the commentary on record that would come with a final contest for this douchebag. But we all beg of you, just skip this and send FUNG to the HOS immediately. Rules are made to be broken.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 6:21 PM

This "male" looks like Wile E. Coyote after RoadRunner has turned the tables on Wile E and made an explosion go off in Wile E's face instead of the RoadRunner's. And all that is left is scorched flesh, burnt hair and two white batting eyes staring atcha!

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 6:29 PM

I'd like to see his driver's license photo, to have heard what the ladies at the Bureau were saying when he had the picture taken.

# posted by

anonymous : 6:32 PM

I had the most disturbing nightmare last night! It took place in a car somewhere. A monster, wait- a MUTANT was doing nothing physically harmfully to me. Instead, it just looked me dead in the eye and kept staring at me!!! I'd never felt that feeling, utter panic and despair. I woke up in a cold sweat. Then I realized that I just remembered what Fung looked like.

-Balllicker

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:28 PM

Looks like he smeared Arby's sauce and carrot juice all over his face. This is the black hole of douches. He has passed the event horizon and is forever lost.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:59 PM

um wow.... so scrotes gotta do a flash test on their hair wax ala celebrities with potentially see through dresses???? b/c that is rank

# posted by

Yellow Beeth of Texas : 4:09 AM

Butthead was wrong. You CAN polish a turd...and wax it, and gel it, and shape it into a most heinous douchebag.

- To Douche or Not to Douche...

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:56 AM

Speaking as a female, I can honestly say that this guy is about as appealing as...well, douching.

I have no interest in a guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than me.

- To Douche or Not to Douche...

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:59 AM

-< H a l l o f S c r o t e >-

............Fung FTW..............

- Adolf ☠

Fuck you Fung, DJ Bello, Fish Slap ect.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:44 AM

A prime example of the metroDOUCHE!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:35 AM

Remember how you felt when it was discovered that the Greco-Roman marble statuary was PAINTED? Well, this douchebag looks like one of those painted statues. His eye white are still the color of the marble, but all else is painted on.

Spooky is what it was and is.

# posted by

anonymous4 : 8:35 AM

He keeps me up at night!!!!! The thought of this DB makes me scared. I need a night light. Fuck Fung! Funghole. DB of the year!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:40 AM

Oh everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody douche fung tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody douche fung tonight

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:52 AM

Dude, this guy is like a Glinty/Joey Porsche hybrid with a Fish Slap attitude. Yes Fish Slap has access to better steroids, but in terms of doucheness Fung makes him look like a fucking rookie.

-Fung for HOS

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:41 AM

..... no. No. No.

I just ... words don't....

This makes me hope for a speedy fix for that Large Hadron Collider, so they can get on with making a black hole to swallow the Earth. Starting with Jerzee.

# posted by

SkyPork : 12:39 PM

HOS for sure - I hate fung, he is such a douche, but not even a funny douche like donkey or xenu etc. He is just a douche, and by that I mean I want to lock him up in his tanning bed and turn it to full blast until all that is left is that gay earring and necklace he's got.

Fuck fung

# posted by

donkster : 4:28 PM

i..can't....stop....laughing!!

# posted by

douche in A minor : 4:38 PM

This is a prime example of a Lost Soul. He really doesn't LOOK like a bad person. In fact, he seems rather a nice person. Which makes him a tragic clown, like Red Skelton's Poor Soul. Here the douche is so extreme that one straddles a fence between howling laughter and total embarrassment for such a creature to have gotten himself into such a state of douchosity. If he didn't have the modern tech of spray-on tan or tanning bed or grooming tools to give himself such a look, what would he look like instead? We can only wonder.
And in the meantime, we mock.

# posted by

anonymous4 : 5:32 PM

Pfah, It is I that hath broth forth this unholy wrath upon you.

Fear not, give me money and I shall bring back the sun.

Fail me, and I shall lay upon this abomination a one way ticket to your town.

There, he may frolic for your enjoyment.

- Adolf ☠

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:35 PM

Guys be careful what you say hes about to turn Super Saiyan

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:38 PM

@ Anon 5:32

I know creatures & this stool sample is no creature.... he is shit thing, he is Fung!

# posted by

creature : 7:56 PM

I wonder what she is thinking....

Hunters, please elaborate.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 8:01 PM

200th comment!!!!! Yeah me!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:22 PM

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Fung

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