Monday, September 29, 2008
HCwDB of the Week
It was a moderate week for hottie/douchey toxicity last week. Between the Fung Debates and Fish Slap's Nipple showing up to haunt our collective zeitgeist, our selection of new pics was lessened. But three solid hottie/douchey finalists have emerged, and here they is:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Douche Zak
There's a sneaky fungal quality to Zak's scrotewankery. His disarming smile and wee man status may throw you off at first.
But note the blingin' earring and necklace. The sideburn giving way to a second, chinstrap facial hair configuration drawn thinner than a storyline in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
And let us not forget Dutch Windmill's Klogs of Copenehagen perfection.
I would discuss the Uncertainty Principle with Heisenberg and Bohr while we watched the canal boats drift languidly by the Scheepswerf Bierenbroodspot.
And then I would hump Camilla's kneecaps like a cracked up anteater after rainy season.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: He Rides the Short Boat
The Short Boat may be your standard issue G.R.E test taking DeVry class of 2011 engineering major.
But to pull four uberhotts while making standard Boatbag Tongue Gesture #12 deserve finalist status.
True, Short Bus doesn't inspire rage the way many other douchewanks do.
But there's enough to annoy. At least mildly.
Still, the hotts may have to carry Short Bus to victory, as the vague "I'd like to push him overboard" urge is only moderate. Stage 2.
Maybe, stage 3 now that I look at it a bit longer.
Because those Bramble Tatts are douchetatt wrong like a smack to the butt of a Nun named Catherine.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Sad Clown
There's a certain genius toxicity to this hottie/douchey combination that defies explanation.
What forces brought an eyeliner wearing member of Ringling Bros. Barnum and Douchey Circus into the willing embrace of a pearly white Southern Peach of Banana Milkshake Ice Cream Holy Boobie Pie Daughter of a Southern Pentacostal and Hates Her Father Hottie?
I do not know. But the Sad Clown knows.
And wonders if his starring performance in Jerry Lewis's The Day The Clown Cried will ever get released on DVD.
Probably not, Sad Clown. I hear it was pretty offensive.
(Dis)honorable mention to Pooper McGee,Don, and Carlos Finds Love, all of whom just missed the Finals.
But them's your three. Three enter, but only one may crown itself "HCwDB of the Week" and earn the final slot in next week's Monthly.
Which'll it be? That's up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Douche Zak
There's a sneaky fungal quality to Zak's scrotewankery. His disarming smile and wee man status may throw you off at first.
But note the blingin' earring and necklace. The sideburn giving way to a second, chinstrap facial hair configuration drawn thinner than a storyline in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
And let us not forget Dutch Windmill's Klogs of Copenehagen perfection.
I would discuss the Uncertainty Principle with Heisenberg and Bohr while we watched the canal boats drift languidly by the Scheepswerf Bierenbroodspot.
And then I would hump Camilla's kneecaps like a cracked up anteater after rainy season.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: He Rides the Short Boat
The Short Boat may be your standard issue G.R.E test taking DeVry class of 2011 engineering major.
But to pull four uberhotts while making standard Boatbag Tongue Gesture #12 deserve finalist status.
True, Short Bus doesn't inspire rage the way many other douchewanks do.
But there's enough to annoy. At least mildly.
Still, the hotts may have to carry Short Bus to victory, as the vague "I'd like to push him overboard" urge is only moderate. Stage 2.
Maybe, stage 3 now that I look at it a bit longer.
Because those Bramble Tatts are douchetatt wrong like a smack to the butt of a Nun named Catherine.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Sad Clown
There's a certain genius toxicity to this hottie/douchey combination that defies explanation.
What forces brought an eyeliner wearing member of Ringling Bros. Barnum and Douchey Circus into the willing embrace of a pearly white Southern Peach of Banana Milkshake Ice Cream Holy Boobie Pie Daughter of a Southern Pentacostal and Hates Her Father Hottie?
I do not know. But the Sad Clown knows.
And wonders if his starring performance in Jerry Lewis's The Day The Clown Cried will ever get released on DVD.
Probably not, Sad Clown. I hear it was pretty offensive.
(Dis)honorable mention to Pooper McGee,Don, and Carlos Finds Love, all of whom just missed the Finals.
But them's your three. Three enter, but only one may crown itself "HCwDB of the Week" and earn the final slot in next week's Monthly.
Which'll it be? That's up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 6:57 AM 
Comments:
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freak week aye. i have to go with zak only because i want to steal his chick. SHE is freaky hot, He is a freak.
# posted by 
: 7:05 AM
: 7:05 AM
Wow. It's either gonna be Douche Zak or Short Boat...too early to call it at this point though.
# posted by : 7:10 AM
: 7:10 AM 
Short boat FTW.
Maximum Hottage, maximum Tat-age, Maximum Douche-age. I guess that kind of seals it, doesn't it?
Maximum Hottage, maximum Tat-age, Maximum Douche-age. I guess that kind of seals it, doesn't it?
# posted by : 7:25 AM
: 7:25 AM
This week's selection of douchebags is relatively tame; not one of them makes me claw at mine own face. But the Hotts .... the Hotts..... I have to vote for the Short Bus, because although the boobies aren't as prominent (heh) as they are in Zak's photo, any one of the four Short Bus Hotts could go head-to-head or nipple-to-nipple with Zak's incredible friend. And I think they should. And I think it should be video recorded.
My vote = Short Boat.
The Sad Clown is just that. A douche poseur.
The other guy is just the 2008 update of Rumpelstiltskin.
Short Boat is 1000% D.B. and he has multiple hotts to ogle.
- Douchey Smurf
The Sad Clown is just that. A douche poseur.
The other guy is just the 2008 update of Rumpelstiltskin.
Short Boat is 1000% D.B. and he has multiple hotts to ogle.
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
Send in the Douche - Sad Clown for the win.
No he doesn't have as many Hotts as Short Boat but then they may be hiding in is oversized pants or be off camera talking/laughing about his eye make up, lip gloss & hair products...
Zak may be a douche but he's not half the 'bag of Sad Clown - yet...
No he doesn't have as many Hotts as Short Boat but then they may be hiding in is oversized pants or be off camera talking/laughing about his eye make up, lip gloss & hair products...
Zak may be a douche but he's not half the 'bag of Sad Clown - yet...
tough one. guess i gotta go with short boat. multiple hotties, a boat, ridiculous tribal ink and a deathtongue.
none of these fuckers stands a chance in the monthly though.
none of these fuckers stands a chance in the monthly though.
Short Boat. I have a soft spot for boat bags. And by "soft spot," I mean I get tender callouses on my hands after using my tire iron to savagely beat the aforementioned boat bags.
He Rides the Short Boat.
if you vote for anyone else, you should re-evaluate your decision-making process.
i hope everyone had a nice weekend.
if you vote for anyone else, you should re-evaluate your decision-making process.
i hope everyone had a nice weekend.
I guess Short Boat. He isn't overwhelmingly pissing me off like many previous Weekly contestants, but the fact that there's 4 hotts does me in. I hope his boat is rigged with explosives.
Nick Lachey for the win....I mean Rides the Short Boat.
He clearly mocks us for not collecting a harem like his, so we shall mock him with the honor of a weekly.
He clearly mocks us for not collecting a harem like his, so we shall mock him with the honor of a weekly.
# posted by : 7:52 AM
: 7:52 AM
Zak's got the dog tags, but they're passe now. And there is no doubt that a 'tribal' tattoo all over your chest makes you a douche, and yet . . .
For me, Sad Clown has the x-factor. There's the eyeliner, the headdana, the bad American jeans, the gesture and the spikey hair. He's ticking a number of boxes on the Meyers-Bleeth douchenality chart. But really, it's because he looks like he's about to go home alone and cry-wank to his favourite Kid Rock record that he gets my vote.
There's something very lonely behind that eyeliner.
For me, Sad Clown has the x-factor. There's the eyeliner, the headdana, the bad American jeans, the gesture and the spikey hair. He's ticking a number of boxes on the Meyers-Bleeth douchenality chart. But really, it's because he looks like he's about to go home alone and cry-wank to his favourite Kid Rock record that he gets my vote.
There's something very lonely behind that eyeliner.
# posted by : 7:54 AM
: 7:54 AM
Now here's a weekly where I really wish I could vote for all three. But there can be only one. Alas.
Each is deserving, but the abundance of Hott in the Short Boat should carry him to victory, much like the short bus carried him to school when he was young 'baglet. His tats remind me of some kind of idiotic Halloween decor. I dub him batbag.
Zak's Hott is nordic perfection, but there's more strength in numbers. The Sad Clown is probably the douchiest, but his Hott is subpar in camparison to the other five.
Short Boat FTW.
AV
Each is deserving, but the abundance of Hott in the Short Boat should carry him to victory, much like the short bus carried him to school when he was young 'baglet. His tats remind me of some kind of idiotic Halloween decor. I dub him batbag.
Zak's Hott is nordic perfection, but there's more strength in numbers. The Sad Clown is probably the douchiest, but his Hott is subpar in camparison to the other five.
Short Boat FTW.
AV
# posted by : 7:55 AM
: 7:55 AM
I vote for Short Boat. Despite what DB1 says, I find that facial expression pretty damn rage-inspiring.
# posted by : 8:03 AM
: 8:03 AM
Sad Clown FTW...
Having read the entirety of the HCwDB tome (and disturbing my airplane seatmates with snorting laughter that drowned out the screaming spawn 4 rows back), I believe that Sad Clown personifies textbook douchosity. Consider:
Mandanna? Check.
Cactus hair? Check.
Emo eye makeup and lipgloss? Check.
Bling? Check. (Dude, you're wearing Mardi Gras beads out of season, ergo you are a douche plus we'll give you extra credit for the masturbatory wrist support)
Bag Hand Gesture? Check.
Luscious hot who appears wholesome and delightful and not entirely tainted by the stank of his scrotey badness? Duh.
It's a thin week overall, but Sad Clown clearly has the full package... and by package, I mean a remedial lesson plan of douchiness that can be used to educate Jerry's kids on proper ways to identify and assign taxonomy to bags in the wild.
Having read the entirety of the HCwDB tome (and disturbing my airplane seatmates with snorting laughter that drowned out the screaming spawn 4 rows back), I believe that Sad Clown personifies textbook douchosity. Consider:
Mandanna? Check.
Cactus hair? Check.
Emo eye makeup and lipgloss? Check.
Bling? Check. (Dude, you're wearing Mardi Gras beads out of season, ergo you are a douche plus we'll give you extra credit for the masturbatory wrist support)
Bag Hand Gesture? Check.
Luscious hot who appears wholesome and delightful and not entirely tainted by the stank of his scrotey badness? Duh.
It's a thin week overall, but Sad Clown clearly has the full package... and by package, I mean a remedial lesson plan of douchiness that can be used to educate Jerry's kids on proper ways to identify and assign taxonomy to bags in the wild.
# posted by : 8:03 AM
: 8:03 AM
My vote goes to Sad Clown. He just came from a sweet party, and his down home hottie makes me sweat in all the right places. . .
Huh? I don't know.
Huh? I don't know.
I feel that The Sad Clown has the most slappable face of the bunch. My vote goes to him. He makes me think of how Robert Smith could have gone horribly horribly wrong.
# posted by : 8:24 AM
: 8:24 AM
I've gotta go with the Short Boat. The jackass is on the water, yet still sporting neck bling, ear bling, and wrist bling ... and the tatt is ridiculous. But mostly it's because of the mocking facial expression. He's telling us what a stud he is for stumbling through his waste of a life until he somehow wound up on a boat with four scorching hot chicks. And they are SCORCHING hot. Makes me want to hit him in the face with a shovel. And isn't that what it's all about?
Short boat FTW!
He reminds me of when I turned 18 and me and a buddy dragged some hotts down to the marina one night.
We told 'em the boat was my dad's and we partied hard till about 2:00 until the marina patrol came by and broke up the party.
Guess I was a pure douche back then too. But hey, I grew out of it. Maybe there is some hope for other douchebags. Fung is probably fucked, but maybe some of the other guys.
- Adolf
He reminds me of when I turned 18 and me and a buddy dragged some hotts down to the marina one night.
We told 'em the boat was my dad's and we partied hard till about 2:00 until the marina patrol came by and broke up the party.
Guess I was a pure douche back then too. But hey, I grew out of it. Maybe there is some hope for other douchebags. Fung is probably fucked, but maybe some of the other guys.
- Adolf
I can't tell if Zak is about to shoot a porn or trying to sell me toothpaste. That smile isn't right. His Hott is bouncy goodness, but also as shiny as he is. What followed this picture was undoubtedly wrong.
Short Boat is standard boatbag/Bleeth party gooberhood that we've all seen before a dozen times. The combined brain energy from all those on board the SS Simplex A isn't sufficient to turn on a lightbulb. You'd get more viable synapses from a potato. On to the next.
The hip bones of Sad Clown's blonde speak to me and tell me to commit minor crimes. She is a beginner's shade of orange, but she is also cushiony and smiley and gives me a happy feeling in my nether regions. Sad Clown himself doesn't seem too douchey, but he's not secure enough to ditch the mandana and spikey hair. He wants desperately to laugh at your Lewis Black references, but will undoubtedly only go home to boost himself back up with his collection of Rascal Flatts albums.
So I give the win to Sad Clown, for trying too hard. There are many like him, simple goobers trying to both be douche and anti-douche at the same time.
I should not post before coffee.
Short Boat is standard boatbag/Bleeth party gooberhood that we've all seen before a dozen times. The combined brain energy from all those on board the SS Simplex A isn't sufficient to turn on a lightbulb. You'd get more viable synapses from a potato. On to the next.
The hip bones of Sad Clown's blonde speak to me and tell me to commit minor crimes. She is a beginner's shade of orange, but she is also cushiony and smiley and gives me a happy feeling in my nether regions. Sad Clown himself doesn't seem too douchey, but he's not secure enough to ditch the mandana and spikey hair. He wants desperately to laugh at your Lewis Black references, but will undoubtedly only go home to boost himself back up with his collection of Rascal Flatts albums.
So I give the win to Sad Clown, for trying too hard. There are many like him, simple goobers trying to both be douche and anti-douche at the same time.
I should not post before coffee.
Sad Clown!!!
this isn't a contest as too which douche has the hottest hotts in-frame, for crying out loud. Sad Clown is a douche with a hott, so he qualifies for an entry ...and Sad Clown is the most pathetic douche i see here.
-crankygypsy
this isn't a contest as too which douche has the hottest hotts in-frame, for crying out loud. Sad Clown is a douche with a hott, so he qualifies for an entry ...and Sad Clown is the most pathetic douche i see here.
-crankygypsy
# posted by : 8:47 AM
: 8:47 AM
Using the equation b+2d = Value FTW, I have to go with Short Boat. You've got 4 pairs of boobies, and a potential Stage 3 douche. So that comes out to 4+(2X3)= 10. The others can't come anywhere close.
Short Boat FTW.
Short Boat FTW.
# posted by : 8:48 AM
: 8:48 AM
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Douche Zak. Even though he may be less of a douche than the rest, the hotness of his hot pisses me off.
# posted by : 8:51 AM
: 8:51 AM
I can't even think of something funny to say. None of the candidates are inspiring enough to be a muse to my rage. So, my vote is gonna go for Short Boat. He looks like he would be the most annoying to talk to, and he scored 4 hotts with that stupid ass collar of thorns tattoo. Sad Clown was a close second though.
As for Zak, is he also "Caution: Highly Doucherous" from January 31, 2008? http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008_01_01_hotchickswithdouchebags_archive.html
Cause there's the same crazy eyes and smile like he grunts a lot during sex and sweats profusely.
Although I will have to say...Boobies.
As for Zak, is he also "Caution: Highly Doucherous" from January 31, 2008? http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008_01_01_hotchickswithdouchebags_archive.html
Cause there's the same crazy eyes and smile like he grunts a lot during sex and sweats profusely.
Although I will have to say...Boobies.
I must vote douche zak ftw. Her boobies make up for his lack of douchey signifiers, and make me hate him more than the others.
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
You just know that Zak was known as "Zak Pak" at the Peter Pitchess Honor Farm on his first tour through our penal system... I also believe his hindquarters are known as a penal processing system.
Consuela beckons to me. her gaze says, "mop my sweaty breast plate with a silken hanky.... then polish my toenails with your tongue, while my boobies defy gravity & make Gallileo look like a fool."
DZ ftw
Consuela beckons to me. her gaze says, "mop my sweaty breast plate with a silken hanky.... then polish my toenails with your tongue, while my boobies defy gravity & make Gallileo look like a fool."
DZ ftw
Short Boat, because his head and shoulder tats are reminiscent of a turgid penis thrusting lewdly through a glory hole doily.
And he has 4X the boobs adangle upon his dingy.
And he has 4X the boobs adangle upon his dingy.
While the mass of slightly exposed breasts certainly makes Boatbag a contender, I don't think they are enough to carry his tribal tat/tongue gesture #12 all the way.
Zak's got that creepy, "Do you want any candy, little girl?" type of look to him, and his hott talks to me in my dreams with her "oh you've been a naughty boy" look, I again feel that Zak does not show enough douche quality to win - douche for sure, but not enough up against...
The Sad Clown. As fidouchiary responsibility said, "Mandanna? Check.
Cactus hair? Check.
Emo eye makeup and lipgloss? Check.
Bling? Check. (Dude, you're wearing Mardi Gras beads out of season, ergo you are a douche plus we'll give you extra credit for the masturbatory wrist support)
Bag Hand Gesture? Check"
Couldn't have pointed it all out so well myself, so I didn't. And his hott is still more than enough to fit the bill - hell she barely fits into that shirt...
Zak's got that creepy, "Do you want any candy, little girl?" type of look to him, and his hott talks to me in my dreams with her "oh you've been a naughty boy" look, I again feel that Zak does not show enough douche quality to win - douche for sure, but not enough up against...
The Sad Clown. As fidouchiary responsibility said, "Mandanna? Check.
Cactus hair? Check.
Emo eye makeup and lipgloss? Check.
Bling? Check. (Dude, you're wearing Mardi Gras beads out of season, ergo you are a douche plus we'll give you extra credit for the masturbatory wrist support)
Bag Hand Gesture? Check"
Couldn't have pointed it all out so well myself, so I didn't. And his hott is still more than enough to fit the bill - hell she barely fits into that shirt...
# posted by : 9:04 AM
: 9:04 AM
Bozo the 'Bag......it's hard to go against those boobies the short boat brings but that clown is a douchebag.
Zak is just goofy. Short Boat has the numerical superiority, but he's just a garden variety boat-muscle douche. Sad clown had to go to the trouble of putting on his clown face, and then he violated the pro-quality hott with his douche hand sign and fungal hair. What puts Sad Clown over the edge is the boobal contact made upon his scuzzy tee shirt. Mandana, wrist band-wearin', hottie-poisioning douche.
# posted by : 9:17 AM
: 9:17 AM
Anytime someone mentions "glory hole doily," I feel warm and special inside; I feel like I've made a difference. It's a feeling that I don't get from working in education. Is that weird?
Geezus, here we go again, another "what are the voters thinking??"
Good lord its SAD CLOWN by a mile..
first off, EYELINER holds some heavy, heavy weight and dominates over bramble tatts, and a bling earring, easily..
couple that with what the other two lack: mandana, scrote spike, gang scrote sign, scrote smug face, dumbass necklass and bracelet, and this motherfucker runs the fuck off with this weekly easy..
but thats not even the real bottom line: the juxtascrotesition of said scrote and upper level hott is bewildering a thousand times over..you can glance at short boat and it "makes scrote sense", but a look at the S-Clown and the S-Peach and major disorientation, confusion, kicks in (alongside the usual rage, spitting on screen, "lord..why? why?? why???", etc etc..)
The SAD motherfuckin CLOWN bags this weekly easy.
Good lord its SAD CLOWN by a mile..
first off, EYELINER holds some heavy, heavy weight and dominates over bramble tatts, and a bling earring, easily..
couple that with what the other two lack: mandana, scrote spike, gang scrote sign, scrote smug face, dumbass necklass and bracelet, and this motherfucker runs the fuck off with this weekly easy..
but thats not even the real bottom line: the juxtascrotesition of said scrote and upper level hott is bewildering a thousand times over..you can glance at short boat and it "makes scrote sense", but a look at the S-Clown and the S-Peach and major disorientation, confusion, kicks in (alongside the usual rage, spitting on screen, "lord..why? why?? why???", etc etc..)
The SAD motherfuckin CLOWN bags this weekly easy.
# posted by : 9:18 AM
: 9:18 AM
Zak
He has the death ray stare and a stupid ass grin
but the hott is staring at me (or so I wish)
He has the death ray stare and a stupid ass grin
but the hott is staring at me (or so I wish)
# posted by : 9:28 AM
: 9:28 AM
Zak ftw. Partly because of his crazy eyes and rapist smile. Partly because of his obscene bling. But mostly it's because of his v-neck white tee. It's pretty obvious he's in a bar somewhere, he got the rest of himself all prettied up, but he couldn't find a shirt with a whole collar. Pissin' me off.
Pick Zak or Short Boat is REWARDING THEM!!!
People, I think you need to understand the point here... There's pretty much hot chicks in all the photos posted on this site. Our mission is to identify the BIGGEST douche of all NOT praise them for their "talent" in duping hot chicks.
The BIGGEST douche this week is clearly the one with make up...
SAD CLOWN FTW.
People, I think you need to understand the point here... There's pretty much hot chicks in all the photos posted on this site. Our mission is to identify the BIGGEST douche of all NOT praise them for their "talent" in duping hot chicks.
The BIGGEST douche this week is clearly the one with make up...
SAD CLOWN FTW.
# posted by : 9:29 AM
: 9:29 AM
Yet another boat douche in the running. They always sneak to a quick lead because the hotts are scantily clad. In this case yummy, too. However, a simple Ex-Lax tablet or two in his red cup would eliminate the competition.
Ex-Lax would be powerless against Zak as the constipated look on his face makes him appear to be a human with a two way digestive system, ie. he shits out his face. A douchebag? Sure. But he looks more like the Megan's Law poster boy.
The vote has to take into account the "WT bloody F is she doing with this guy?" question. Blonde Bottleneck Hott is a sexy thang. A sexy thang. A sexy thang. She could be Playboy/Penthouse worthy.
Sad Clown FTW based on the inexplicable HCwDB combo.
And by combo I mean a jab/uppercut combo to the face with a sack of rusty nails.
Ex-Lax would be powerless against Zak as the constipated look on his face makes him appear to be a human with a two way digestive system, ie. he shits out his face. A douchebag? Sure. But he looks more like the Megan's Law poster boy.
The vote has to take into account the "WT bloody F is she doing with this guy?" question. Blonde Bottleneck Hott is a sexy thang. A sexy thang. A sexy thang. She could be Playboy/Penthouse worthy.
Sad Clown FTW based on the inexplicable HCwDB combo.
And by combo I mean a jab/uppercut combo to the face with a sack of rusty nails.
Sad Clown FTW.
his doucheness is overwhelming. short boat is a cookie cutter douche, but the sad clown is in a whole different stratosphere of choadacity.
his doucheness is overwhelming. short boat is a cookie cutter douche, but the sad clown is in a whole different stratosphere of choadacity.
@ Mr. White:
100 years hence, digital archeologists will remember this site for no other reason perhaps than this was the place where "glory hole doily", "pipe-farter", "mudhorn" and "dong-taper" were coined.
And Fung.
100 years hence, digital archeologists will remember this site for no other reason perhaps than this was the place where "glory hole doily", "pipe-farter", "mudhorn" and "dong-taper" were coined.
And Fung.
Are you kidding me?!?! This isn't even a contest: He Rides the Short Boat is ahead by four lengths.
Man, that dude has absolutely no business hanging around with those eight melons, and he knows it...just look at shit-eating grin on his face!
Just the thought of a five-way with those hotties is enough cause me to whew in relief. Who cares if I have to get some stupid tats and crappy jewelry and a boat to get in the door (and the door and the door and the door). Damn, open a window...I need some fresh air.
Man, that dude has absolutely no business hanging around with those eight melons, and he knows it...just look at shit-eating grin on his face!
Just the thought of a five-way with those hotties is enough cause me to whew in relief. Who cares if I have to get some stupid tats and crappy jewelry and a boat to get in the door (and the door and the door and the door). Damn, open a window...I need some fresh air.
Clearly my work here is done.
(For what it's worth, I work on the publishing side of education. I write math textbooks. For reals.)
(For what it's worth, I work on the publishing side of education. I write math textbooks. For reals.)
I have to go with Zak, but not because of the bling and stupid look on his face, but for the sheer scrumptiousness of the dutch goddess beside him. Very weak choices this week, so the hott will have to carry the votes.
# posted by : 10:27 AM
: 10:27 AM
mr. white.....thanks for sharing, sir.
i haven't balanced my checkbook in over 10 years. i am very scared of numbers. the left side of my brain has been taken over by the right side.
can you help solve this problem of mine?
i haven't balanced my checkbook in over 10 years. i am very scared of numbers. the left side of my brain has been taken over by the right side.
can you help solve this problem of mine?
If this were any other month than October i might have looked past Zak, but my tongue is just aching to (try to) refasten the errant button on St Pauli Girl hott's silken uberhosen. Her eyes are just begging me to, and his eyes, well,his eyes speak of the torture it is to tear one's eyes away from the Octoberfest that is her cleavage. He is sweating into his chinstrap at the effort to look into the camera, but he is douchee enough to pull it off. he sure will remember his first girl, and for that he should be rewarded. Zak ftw!
Just as Fung's picture was out of balance with its obscured, backseat female, so to is Short Boat's picture out of balance. I am not going to say there is too much hott, because you can't have too much hott, it is impossible. The douchey/hottie yin yang is out of balance, Short Boat just doesn't seem douche enough for all of these hotts. Maybe if he took a page from another tatted up toolbox, Squidward, and invited some friends along, his pic would be a bit more even-keeled.
Douche Zak looks like he's about to chuck his hott into a volcano.
I still can't pick a winner.
Douche Zak looks like he's about to chuck his hott into a volcano.
I still can't pick a winner.
# posted by : 10:42 AM
: 10:42 AM
Sad clown wins via mascara, facial piercings, lip gloss, ridiculous hair, and mandana. I am getting angrier as I type this.
# posted by : 10:54 AM
: 10:54 AM
It's like rock, paper scissors this week, only it's Mandana, Bad Tribal, and Dogtags. Mandana wins every time, and by wins I mean, you are the biggest loser.
Sad Clown FTW!
Sad Clown FTW!
It appears that the quality, the clarity of the photos, might just sway some folks to vote in one direction or the other.
For instance Zak and Saucy Holland Daisy are in an exceptionally clear photo. Every detail shines, and she is photogenic as hell. So are her boobies, including the douche-boob Zak.
Sad Clown and Peachie stand out from the black background: the screaming green shirt and the obvious hott flesh tones are pleasingly presented with denim blue and white accents. And blonde tresses. And boobies. And eyeliner. On him.
Then there is Short Boat. Das Boot has so much boobie, so much smilin' hott, and the jerkiest tongued douchebag, second only to Mooby, but with an even dumber bramble-tatt for a giant chieftain's neacklace. All hail to the chief douche, Short Boat.
And by hail, I mean a sudden furious storm of jagged iceballs raining down on him and his Duh-tongue, while the Boobies run for cover below-board.
Short Boat for the week.
For instance Zak and Saucy Holland Daisy are in an exceptionally clear photo. Every detail shines, and she is photogenic as hell. So are her boobies, including the douche-boob Zak.
Sad Clown and Peachie stand out from the black background: the screaming green shirt and the obvious hott flesh tones are pleasingly presented with denim blue and white accents. And blonde tresses. And boobies. And eyeliner. On him.
Then there is Short Boat. Das Boot has so much boobie, so much smilin' hott, and the jerkiest tongued douchebag, second only to Mooby, but with an even dumber bramble-tatt for a giant chieftain's neacklace. All hail to the chief douche, Short Boat.
And by hail, I mean a sudden furious storm of jagged iceballs raining down on him and his Duh-tongue, while the Boobies run for cover below-board.
Short Boat for the week.
# posted by : 11:08 AM
: 11:08 AM
The Sad Clown has it all. Mandana, hand gesture, bling, guyliner... wait. GUYLINER!? Ugh, it's a mutated form, the EmoDouche.
God help us.
Sad Clown FTW.
God help us.
Sad Clown FTW.
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
@pfah
Remember, bro: Numbers may seem scary, but they're more afraid of you than you are of them.
And yes, I just drew my new avatar in Paint in your honor. Instead of, you know, working or trying to better American education.
Remember, bro: Numbers may seem scary, but they're more afraid of you than you are of them.
And yes, I just drew my new avatar in Paint in your honor. Instead of, you know, working or trying to better American education.
I'm going to have to give it to short boat. He manages to provide enough douchebaggery for every single one of those hotts, and for that kind of multiscroting, he deserves a weekly.
-Ponderonymous
-Ponderonymous
# posted by : 11:17 AM
: 11:17 AM
@mr. white....your words are comforting, and your new avatar is fantastic. MS Paint, eh? impressive young jedi. one day, i'll teach you the ways of Photoshop.
Mac > PC
Mac > PC
Mr. White writes texbooks? MATH textbooks? Wow, a gentlemen and a scholar. I applaud your capacity for understanding the Alphabet of the Devil. Math was never my forte, you see. Calculus was as far as I could go without spontaneously combusting.
-Ponderonymous
-Ponderonymous
# posted by : 11:21 AM
: 11:21 AM
ShortBoat. Grade-3 douchewad with 4 level-4 Bleethe. Toxic like Chernobyl drinking water, drawn straight from the reactor. Flys fall to the ground in their vacinity. They left a mile-wide slick behind them, and astronauts described a giant cock-n-balls reflecting from the general area of the AZ/CA border, pinpointed on Lake Havasu.
True story!
True story!
# posted by : 11:27 AM
: 11:27 AM
Yay tho I walk through the valley of boatbag I shall lust after the hotts numbered 4 and mock that which is excessively scrotastic.
# posted by : 11:37 AM
: 11:37 AM
I can't decide between leering Zak and Sad Clown.
Actually, I'd like to pick one up by the ankles and beat the other to death with him.
Oh, and Fuck Fung!
Actually, I'd like to pick one up by the ankles and beat the other to death with him.
Oh, and Fuck Fung!
Sad Clown FTW. He is a sack of shit. He deserves to be beaten to death with a bag full of ass crusties.
# posted by : 11:55 AM
: 11:55 AM
DarkSock
Short Boat is more of a West Indian Mudpipe Discharge
& the boobie octuplets no doubt would get more outta my pals above
Short Boat is more of a West Indian Mudpipe Discharge
& the boobie octuplets no doubt would get more outta my pals above
My vote goes to the short boat, plain and simple. May he fall overboard and stay there...
Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
# posted by : 12:12 PM
: 12:12 PM
Short boat, hands down! Give that man the weekly! He WILL end up on here again and will one day be nominated for, be elected to, and forever hang in the hall of scrote... it is plainly obvious.
# posted by : 12:13 PM
: 12:13 PM
The Sad Clown wins hands down. Obviously a lot of effort went into the planning of such a wonderfully douchtastic outfit. The mandana is an automatic 4 points and, coupled with the green wrist bling, propels this uber douche into the top for the week. Let us not forget the makeup and douche beads hanging frmo this neck. The look on his face screams "I jerk off to myself in front of a large mirror." All he is missing is the popped collar under the ridiculous Killian shirt. Nice touch assbag.
Douche Zak is just a dude next to a hot chick. Although he is a stage one bag, he is harmless ... no pouty lips or hand gesture to match the Clown's attempt at rock and roll.
As for "He Rides the Short Boat" ...well, he is an idiot, but not quite a bag. Although he is sporting the altogether unoriginal tribal tat across his cleanly shaven chest and back, he is a poor soul that was dropped a few too many times as a baby. I swear this guy played Spinner Dunn in Death to Smoochy.
In sum, Sad Clown wins 16-0 over the other two.
Douche Zak is just a dude next to a hot chick. Although he is a stage one bag, he is harmless ... no pouty lips or hand gesture to match the Clown's attempt at rock and roll.
As for "He Rides the Short Boat" ...well, he is an idiot, but not quite a bag. Although he is sporting the altogether unoriginal tribal tat across his cleanly shaven chest and back, he is a poor soul that was dropped a few too many times as a baby. I swear this guy played Spinner Dunn in Death to Smoochy.
In sum, Sad Clown wins 16-0 over the other two.
Though dosing may not be a douchey occupation, making that face when not dosing is epically douchey. Alright, maybe it's more just lame and pathetic, but to be that lame and pathetic in the presence of such side boob is criminal. And by criminal I mean: Side. Boobie.
T. Leery
T. Leery
# posted by : 1:10 PM
: 1:10 PM
The Sad Clown's Douchery is epic the other two while total douche bags do not make me want to kill baby seals nearly as much as him. his Hott is very tasty too!
# posted by : 1:16 PM
: 1:16 PM
My vote goes to Zak. that smirk makes me want to punch a hole through my monitor and sing songs of war.
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
Front left boat bleeth: I'd like to shiver those timbers. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT!
# posted by : 1:22 PM
: 1:22 PM
So nobody thinks Zak is this guy?
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008_01_01_hotchickswithdouchebags_archive.html
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008_01_01_hotchickswithdouchebags_archive.html
It's gotta be Sad clown. Anyone that takes the time to put on makeup before trying to chase the hott must go down. Any by down I mean what a freakin choad.
# posted by : 1:36 PM
: 1:36 PM
The clown is the lamest, but he seems like he is trying too hard -- I feel like he hangs out with a bunch of douchebags, but is kind of the "loser" of the group, as it were.
I am pretty sure that Douche Zak wants to murder me. If not me it's someone else out there. He has the eyes of a deranged hobgoblin ... and I honestly don't even know what a hobgoblin is.
Short Boat is the douchiest, plain and simple. The boat and the hotts are enough to seal it. Also, there are significant infuriation levels ... akin to the way I felt when Byung-Hyun Kim tried to throw a World Series away for the second straight night, multiplied by Chernobyl.
I am pretty sure that Douche Zak wants to murder me. If not me it's someone else out there. He has the eyes of a deranged hobgoblin ... and I honestly don't even know what a hobgoblin is.
Short Boat is the douchiest, plain and simple. The boat and the hotts are enough to seal it. Also, there are significant infuriation levels ... akin to the way I felt when Byung-Hyun Kim tried to throw a World Series away for the second straight night, multiplied by Chernobyl.
# posted by : 1:47 PM
: 1:47 PM
I Refuse to Fucking Vote!
-That being said. DB1, any man who can agree on rocking The Uncertainty Principle and Bohr to a hot little Danish whilst punting, is a man after mine own heart (along with Mr. White, Darksock, doucheland uber alles, don't wheeze the douche & crucial head) and inspires co-douchal Respect!
+++++someone who can write this:"
[...]an eyeliner wearing member of Ringling Bros. Barnum and Douchey Circus into the willing embrace of a pearly white Southern Peach of Banana Milkshake Ice Cream Holy Boobie Pie Daughter of a Southern Pentacostal and Hates Her Father Hottie?"
-brings a nostalgic Georgia tear to my eye & reminds me uniquely of Douchetarch (AD 46-126) who wrote: "When DB1 saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer; but there would always be hotts to grope & douches to mock tomorrow."
-That being said. DB1, any man who can agree on rocking The Uncertainty Principle and Bohr to a hot little Danish whilst punting, is a man after mine own heart (along with Mr. White, Darksock, doucheland uber alles, don't wheeze the douche & crucial head) and inspires co-douchal Respect!
+++++someone who can write this:"
[...]an eyeliner wearing member of Ringling Bros. Barnum and Douchey Circus into the willing embrace of a pearly white Southern Peach of Banana Milkshake Ice Cream Holy Boobie Pie Daughter of a Southern Pentacostal and Hates Her Father Hottie?"
-brings a nostalgic Georgia tear to my eye & reminds me uniquely of Douchetarch (AD 46-126) who wrote: "When DB1 saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer; but there would always be hotts to grope & douches to mock tomorrow."
@archideoucheis
No. And I think it's about time you scheduled an appointment with our optometrist.
No. And I think it's about time you scheduled an appointment with our optometrist.
# posted by : 2:10 PM
: 2:10 PM
Good gravy, did I have a hard time with this one. I was tempted to cast my vote for Short Boat, when a co-worker happened by. I asked him to step in for a final review, and, after further exmination, I have changed my vote to Sad Clown. The sheer number of Douche violations are striking as compared to the other two. I really think the deciding factor for me was the "metal" gesture he throws, depsite his blatant un-metalness. Guyliner? Coordinating green shirt and supportive masturbatory wristband? Mandana? Hedgehog frightwig? And then he has the nerve to make the sign of the devil? I think this guy needs to get fist-fucked in the throat by Kerry King after Mr. King has been working with fiberglass insulation. Shit, that creamy little hott has no idea what she's rubbing those jugs against. Even with the metal gesture, Kirk Hammet STILL wouldn't take a blow job off this gristlewad! SAD CLOWN FTW!
@lesmingle 8:50am...Any of those gals like to hold hands? And by hold hands I mean get a Hot Carl.
@lesmingle 8:50am...Any of those gals like to hold hands? And by hold hands I mean get a Hot Carl.
# posted by : 3:01 PM
: 3:01 PM
Gotta go with the Sad Clown. HRtSB is indeed rage-inspiring. Look at him, mocking us, knowing that we will never be douche enough to score those hotts. but the Clown's hott is nothing to sneeze at either. Those chicks make sense with HRtSB -- they seem like they have the same personalities. but how the hell Sad Clown and his hott managed to have their picture taken together. well.... that is just a question that will stll be asked 5000 years from now. When stray packs of dogs rule the world, the currency is live mice, and I still fucking hate the Sad Clown.
Oh, and Zak just makes me laugh. what a goofy smile, haha.
Oh, and Zak just makes me laugh. what a goofy smile, haha.
# posted by : 3:11 PM
: 3:11 PM
Sad Clown. None of these inspired genuine rage, but sad clown has the "Oh-look-at-her-you've-got-to-be-fucking-kidding-me" factor. Plus he has eyeliner on. And that hair. Hold on, here comes some rage...
SAD CLOWN ALL THE WAY!!!!! He's even telling the world he wants those horns and beads shoved up his ass.
# posted by : 3:49 PM
: 3:49 PM
i think don should win...or the guy from the haiku in the kayak...but given the candidates...sad clown
# posted by : 5:07 PM
: 5:07 PM
Its gotta be short boat for the win. Although he is not as deuschtastic as nominees from prior weeks, he shear quality and quantity of his hots as well his bramble tats, which make him like a white chocolate maori tribesman, are enough to push him above the weak competition.
# posted by : 5:12 PM
: 5:12 PM
Kind of a weak week. Sad Clown FTW.
Denny kind of enraged me the most, however, no consideration for him . . .
Denny kind of enraged me the most, however, no consideration for him . . .
Normally I hate boat bags so much, I won't vote for them. It makes them feel even more entitled than ever.
but this guy - oy vey...
I gotta go for Boat bag. Why?
Some of the dumbest tatts this side of Bra's star. And the most retarded facial expression since Mooby Dick. This guy is a shitstain without a brain, and I like my turdles to be chatty thinking craplets. The kind that stand up in the drink and sing "MORE RAISINS! LOTS MORE RAISINS! MORE RAISINS THAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!!!" Yeah - you know - the brainy kind. Well, Boatbag here couldn't find his own ass if it was nailed to his forehead. So, his scrotality approaches unity.
And speaking of numbers, I know why Mr White has an 8 on his avatar - HE COUNTED THE BOOBIES!!! He counted 8 boobies!!! (lighting flashes)
I COUNT EIGHT! EIGHT BOOBIES! A-a-aaaaaah....
but this guy - oy vey...
I gotta go for Boat bag. Why?
Some of the dumbest tatts this side of Bra's star. And the most retarded facial expression since Mooby Dick. This guy is a shitstain without a brain, and I like my turdles to be chatty thinking craplets. The kind that stand up in the drink and sing "MORE RAISINS! LOTS MORE RAISINS! MORE RAISINS THAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!!!" Yeah - you know - the brainy kind. Well, Boatbag here couldn't find his own ass if it was nailed to his forehead. So, his scrotality approaches unity.
And speaking of numbers, I know why Mr White has an 8 on his avatar - HE COUNTED THE BOOBIES!!! He counted 8 boobies!!! (lighting flashes)
I COUNT EIGHT! EIGHT BOOBIES! A-a-aaaaaah....
Douche Zak all the way. I could give his own douchey appearance as a reason (bling, d-neck shirt, that stupid look on his face), but this one is all about the hott.
Seriously, I was going to just assume the hourglass would win hott of the year (and rightfully so), but the Windmill is a special king of fine. From the look she's giving the camera down to her pair of honey-guns that are too much for her shirt (note the way the buttons seem to be failing to keep things together worse than the stock exchange), this hott is flawless (aside from the smudge of douche-poo on her left arm).
Seriously, I was going to just assume the hourglass would win hott of the year (and rightfully so), but the Windmill is a special king of fine. From the look she's giving the camera down to her pair of honey-guns that are too much for her shirt (note the way the buttons seem to be failing to keep things together worse than the stock exchange), this hott is flawless (aside from the smudge of douche-poo on her left arm).
Short Boat. Zak is a major douche, but for some reason I can't be terribly mad at him. He looks like the type who would let you have a threesome with him and his girlfriend. Short Boat, on the other hand, is the kind of guy who hogs a whole bunch of hot chicks to himself.
# posted by : 7:06 PM
: 7:06 PM
short boat FTW.
the stupid grin and 'doctor's office/say aahhh' douche tongue maneuver may not enrage to the degree inspired by a joey prosche pout, but the village idiot facade belies the inner douche. the tribal tatt wreaths his head like a lion's mane, as though he proclaims himself king of some douchal jungle.
and the hotts are hot. and by hot i mean...hot.
the stupid grin and 'doctor's office/say aahhh' douche tongue maneuver may not enrage to the degree inspired by a joey prosche pout, but the village idiot facade belies the inner douche. the tribal tatt wreaths his head like a lion's mane, as though he proclaims himself king of some douchal jungle.
and the hotts are hot. and by hot i mean...hot.
# posted by : 7:21 PM
: 7:21 PM
Short Boat is so retarded he doesn't even know where the camera is.
This picture makes me think I need a boat. Then I need to wire a fish finder so it finds boobies instead of large mouth bass.
This picture makes me think I need a boat. Then I need to wire a fish finder so it finds boobies instead of large mouth bass.
The Sad Clown FTW b/c 1.Eyeliner & 2.wearing his watch OVER his douche-tastic wrist band, which keeps the sweat from running onto his hand when he's jacking off to this picture.
Ergo, theretofor, ipso facto, 'tis Sad Clown all the way.
Ergo, theretofor, ipso facto, 'tis Sad Clown all the way.
# posted by : 8:54 PM
: 8:54 PM
Sad Clown.
Zak is a doofus, but he smiled for the pic, doesn't have grotesque hair, kindadouche.
Short boat, again enjoying himself, and sans the horrific tattoos just looks like a nice goofy dude, kindadouche.
Sad Clown. Dear G-D, he put effort into looking that retarded. Hand gesture, watch over sweatband, the necklace, mandanna, sea urchin hair, eyeliner, and that absolutely wonderful delight of a hott put him in for the win in my book.
Is he wearing lip gloss too? UGH.
Zak is a doofus, but he smiled for the pic, doesn't have grotesque hair, kindadouche.
Short boat, again enjoying himself, and sans the horrific tattoos just looks like a nice goofy dude, kindadouche.
Sad Clown. Dear G-D, he put effort into looking that retarded. Hand gesture, watch over sweatband, the necklace, mandanna, sea urchin hair, eyeliner, and that absolutely wonderful delight of a hott put him in for the win in my book.
Is he wearing lip gloss too? UGH.
# posted by : 9:25 PM
: 9:25 PM
For a while there, I thought Sad Clown wouldn't get the douche-love he deserves. I can see now that his Gacy-clown look has attracted the same visceral revulsion in others that I felt. I fart in his general direction.
# posted by : 9:47 PM
: 9:47 PM
Glory Hole Doily FTW!!
And fuck work BTW. Fuck Fung! Fuck airplanes and airports. And fuck fat flight attendants... but not the hotts... or the Ferrari mind you.
... ALL of which I've done in last forty eight hours in some sort or another... but not the Ferrari.
Need. More. Ambien..... ahhhhhhhh.
And fuck work BTW. Fuck Fung! Fuck airplanes and airports. And fuck fat flight attendants... but not the hotts... or the Ferrari mind you.
... ALL of which I've done in last forty eight hours in some sort or another... but not the Ferrari.
Need. More. Ambien..... ahhhhhhhh.
That'll be a 'Short Boat' vote for me DB1. Can't vote against Zak (right Darksock??) and the Clown's not compacted enough to lay the footing for a solid Monthly offering like Fung or Droopy.
As much as I hate the fact that a man with eye shadow gets some choice cleavite like that, I can't give it to sad clown.
And Short boat, would be a worthy winner, any other week. Even with only one hott on the boat I would gladly curse him down to jolly roger to be molested by pee wee herman with a power drill. Those four pieces of angelic hott make me want to take to the high seas and drink from nothing but red plastic cups, whilst toasting the rough sea's treatment of their hefty bossoms. But thats any other week.
This week however, we have Zak. Oh that smile, and how I want it to dissappear as a large bird of prey attacks his nads. The smile that says guess where I'm going next. And it would be fine if the only thing else in the picture was a pizza hut. But as there is the finest example of Swedish tittery I've ever seen, you know the next photo in the series was the back of Zaks head as he motor boated those puppies like his soul was on fire. Zak wins, again really just because I'm horribly jealous, but there you go, Zak it is.
And Short boat, would be a worthy winner, any other week. Even with only one hott on the boat I would gladly curse him down to jolly roger to be molested by pee wee herman with a power drill. Those four pieces of angelic hott make me want to take to the high seas and drink from nothing but red plastic cups, whilst toasting the rough sea's treatment of their hefty bossoms. But thats any other week.
This week however, we have Zak. Oh that smile, and how I want it to dissappear as a large bird of prey attacks his nads. The smile that says guess where I'm going next. And it would be fine if the only thing else in the picture was a pizza hut. But as there is the finest example of Swedish tittery I've ever seen, you know the next photo in the series was the back of Zaks head as he motor boated those puppies like his soul was on fire. Zak wins, again really just because I'm horribly jealous, but there you go, Zak it is.
HRTSB FTW!!!
DZ does not qualify enough to be a fully fledged douche, while HRTSB is both primitive, stupid and douchey.
DZ does not qualify enough to be a fully fledged douche, while HRTSB is both primitive, stupid and douchey.
# posted by : 2:23 AM
: 2:23 AM
Sad Clown.
Even though the hott content in short boat pegs the meters the douche value is relatively low.
Even though the hott content in short boat pegs the meters the douche value is relatively low.
# posted by : 4:10 AM
: 4:10 AM
Short Boat FTW.
Any one of his FOUR hotts are hotter than what the competition is offering and I would argue he IS, in fact, the biggest douche of the week. Lousy tribal tatts may be everywhere, but that doesn't lessen their impact. He sucks.
Besides after a week of Fung's pic with reduced visibility hott, Short Boat's abundance of hott is perfect.
Any one of his FOUR hotts are hotter than what the competition is offering and I would argue he IS, in fact, the biggest douche of the week. Lousy tribal tatts may be everywhere, but that doesn't lessen their impact. He sucks.
Besides after a week of Fung's pic with reduced visibility hott, Short Boat's abundance of hott is perfect.
# posted by : 8:21 AM
: 8:21 AM
It's gotta be the clown, but one strike against him is that she's a pay-per-hott. I have too hard a time believing that the necklace, shirt, and wristbands all match with it being a promotion that comes with complimentary lovely curvaceousness.
Still, his hair and face did not do that to themselves, so the man is scum on a humid day.
Still, his hair and face did not do that to themselves, so the man is scum on a humid day.
Zak looks too happy to be in the presence of Dutch Windmill. He looked lke he was about to strike a pose, but her hottness tramped his scrotitude, and thus rendering his 'bag status as slightly lesser than Sad Clown and Short Boat.
Sad Clown, while scary, just seems like the bass player for Saliva wanted to take a break from his failed life to pose with blonde. It isn't as infuriating as it is pathetic.
However, if you'd like to talk about infuriating, just look at boatbag, with bramble tatts. On a boat. With boobies on his ear. And on a boat. Sticking out his tongue.
That is infuriating. And that's what this site is all about. Thus, my vote goes to Short Boat.
Also, fuck DJ Bello.
Sad Clown, while scary, just seems like the bass player for Saliva wanted to take a break from his failed life to pose with blonde. It isn't as infuriating as it is pathetic.
However, if you'd like to talk about infuriating, just look at boatbag, with bramble tatts. On a boat. With boobies on his ear. And on a boat. Sticking out his tongue.
That is infuriating. And that's what this site is all about. Thus, my vote goes to Short Boat.
Also, fuck DJ Bello.
# posted by : 2:08 PM
: 2:08 PM
An interesting assortment. I have assessed their various merits using the Fujuchoadwa scale, meticulously cataloging each and assigning algorithmically derived weightings based on doucheons, scrotons and mugons as determined by Doucheular Magnetic Resonance, calculated their density and relative charges as well as their overall scrotelecular mass, and so have arrived at my conclusion.
Douche Zak, because I would like to perform oral sex on that hott hottie.
--VS
Douche Zak, because I would like to perform oral sex on that hott hottie.
--VS
# posted by : 4:16 PM
: 4:16 PM
Short Boat, easily.... The rage factor..
Look at that pic. Look. At. That. Pic.
What a giant DB. He is DB of the Year material.
Look at that pic. Look. At. That. Pic.
What a giant DB. He is DB of the Year material.
# posted by : 8:03 PM
: 8:03 PM
Though it appears he's a serious underdog, I gotta go with The Sad Clown. Zak has hott to spare and his roommate hopes share, but his douchiness is lacking both in terms of number of items of flair and that's just way too nice a smile. (And did I mention that he's willing to share with his roommate; that's just not douchey).
It's after labor day, so that means no white shoes and no boatbags.
Sad Clown is exactly that, and while his hott was surely hired by the management, she is the hottest chick to grace this site since Surfer Kelly, with the extreme bonus that those funbags are 100% natural. What a pillow they would make. What perfect white teeth. She's so perfect I'll excuse the dark roots.
As for our clown of the week, one string of *Mardi Gras* beads?! On St. Patrick's Day? With eye makeup?
It's gotta be Sad Clown FTW.
It's after labor day, so that means no white shoes and no boatbags.
Sad Clown is exactly that, and while his hott was surely hired by the management, she is the hottest chick to grace this site since Surfer Kelly, with the extreme bonus that those funbags are 100% natural. What a pillow they would make. What perfect white teeth. She's so perfect I'll excuse the dark roots.
As for our clown of the week, one string of *Mardi Gras* beads?! On St. Patrick's Day? With eye makeup?
It's gotta be Sad Clown FTW.
# posted by : 12:58 AM
: 12:58 AM
GRE? Do you mean GED? GRE is the admissions test for graduate school. I don't think many graduate schools take DeVry alumni. GED is the high school equivalence exam. Either I'm confused or there are very few college students/graduates here.
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# posted by : 1:20 AM
: 1:20 AM << Home
