robert smith, the college years...
 

seriously. that hott is gonna be pissed when she realizes he used the rest of her mascara. he shodl not only be kicked in the nads once, but repeatedly to the point of ridiculousness. I would however like to go camping for a few days nestled safely between her pillowy funbags.
 

Doesn't it reek?
With a giant fake pair?
Me here at last in the club,
You with your dyed hair.
Send in the clowns.

Do you smell piss?
Don't you approve?
One who won't wash in the tub,
One whose breasts can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped paying for whores,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again causes despair,
Sure of my lines,
With goo in my hair.

Don't you love meth?
My fault I fear.
I thought you'd want to blow me.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.

Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't that Rich?
Isn't he queer?
Losing my dignity this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.
 

Mr. White, you sir, are a genius.
 

Due to a botched circumcision at birth, Elmer’s recurrent involuntary nocturnal emissions were redirected from his urethra to his tear ducts.
 

30 Seconds to Farce
 

Mr. White pulls out a Judy Collins reference. And we had Fear and Loathing this morning.

... please tell me this is Friday.
 

@Mr. White

Having a slow Tuesday? That, my good man, was art. Poetry, if you will allow.
 

Thank you, kind posters. The Judy Collins homage is what I like to call "wasting the last half hour of my workday."
 

Bozo the douche... WOW!! He means serious business. Guyliner, frosted tips, and a mandana?? Holy shit!!
 

Ya know, sometimes I really hate you guys on the east cost. Mostly because when I arrive at my glorious desk each morning, you assholes are halfway done & lookin to go home.
But then I remember it's been 80 degrees and sunny for 5 months and I feel better :)

AAAnd as for raccoon man? I'll call him a stage-3, and his quasi-hott looks like she's been interviewing for Anna Nicole's life, making her stage-4.
Note to douche: YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY.
Note to chick: ITS ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE.
 

Haven't we seen this guy before?

It could be Guy with a Lot of Popped Collars all 'roided up? But no. ... I know I've already seen this douche!
 

I cant even fathom a fashion trend where a normal everyday football watching bar guy wears eyeliner or even feels comfortable with the idea of presenting himself in such a way....

what the fuck is going on America?

army of douche-ness
 

wow. let's hear it for mr. white and bcs. excellent job today! brilliant.
and...wow, again. this douche looks like the worst haggard tranny imaginable, while her deer-in-the-headlights stare says "fuck me senseless...for i am redundancy incarnate."
 

Fleshy Love Pylon
 

There's a lot of wrist-green going on here, so I'm thinking this was a St. Patrick's Day debacle.

He got trashed and some girls thought it would be cute to paint him up. He let them, because he's insecure that way. This poor blond plastic creature was the Jagermeister girl, pushing shots all night with her pants pulled halfway down her ass for $10 an hour.

A pair of sad clowns if you ask me.
 

This guy needs some tips on makeup application. His eyeliner should not be that smudged, nor should his lip gloss be that shiny. The hott should feel offended, considering the fact that he raided her medicine cabinet without her permission. I bet he has on a pair of her heels in this photo as well.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

I'm voting for McCain on the sole hope that he further engages the already over-maxed US military in more endless bloody regional conflicts, which would necessitate the re-instatement of the draft, just so assclowns like this douche get conscripted overseas and schlubs like myself can swoop in and score on their lonely hotts.


ya gotta have dreams, i tells ya....
 

She kinda looks like she should be dancing at Knicks games, maybe if she didn't look like she was also kinda pregnant.
 

@mr. white...that was beautiful. i wept. then i wept some more.


evidently, DB1's boobie fetish has gotten the best of him today. i feel like i am at a Dolly Parton concert every time i come here today.


may god bless you DB1.

i'd be willing to bet that she shags like a minx. and upon orgasm, sounds like a finely-tuned Briggs & Stratton engine.
 

By the way, I graduated from Miami of Ohio and I know him. That is Ben Roethlisberger's little brother, Mary.
 

Pfah:

I'm trying to imagine her, nekkid and sweat-streaked, pitched back in ecstacy with mouth agape and eyes tightly shut, all while....she's braying and sputtering like a 5 hp gas motor under heavy load?

Well. I have an erection. Does that make me as fucked up as you?
 

She is all kind of full figured hott lusciousness. It looks like she is pulling her pants down.
 

@darksock......yes. yes it does. but what might push you over the edge is visualizing a grass clipping bag attached to her ass.



yep. that's did it for me.

aaaand i'm spent.
 

"that's did it for me"?!??

i cannot type today. me likey English werds.
 

He seems familiar. And I think I know why.

His head looks like a rubberized Halloween mask. Something from the Everyday Douchebag line. A little "spooky" make-up, frozen glossy lips, and a mandanna tie to keep it firmly attached. So even you can look like a douche, without actually being the douche.

Add ugly bling, necessary wrist adornment, and whatever bleethe you can get drunk enough to hang out with you to complete the ensemble.

darksock: I think I am going to be getting boners when I hear trucks labor up steep inclines from now on.
 

So we're going to fight Al-Qaeda with this? May as well get a Burhkas-are-Us franchise.
 

I'm sick as shit today. Can only manager to type the words:

ASS CLOWN


- Adolf
 

Damn, the Skroat must be sick, he misspelled "manage"


McCain
Monitoring the site
 

You sick f#cks don't miss a THING!

Sorry, I'll MANAGE to do better next time!

Crap,
- Adolf
 

hope you feel better Adolf. being sick is no fun.
 

Thanks Pfah, I think DJ Bello put something in my food.
 

He's a waiter.

Don't tell anyone I was eating at a gay eatery.

- Adolf
 

I was going to offer a comment about Pagliaccio wearing guyliner and flashing gang signals, but Mr. White is a tough act to follow.

Suffice it to say that if there was any pride left in the United Clowns' Guild post-John Wayne Gacy, this dude has dealt the coup de grace.
 

she has no waist

he no penis... tho I suspect he collects them with his mouth
 

pfah

your AV looks like the reichstad helmet on Colonel Klinks desk....

... so your AV is a German helmet, heh heh
 

She looks like a Laker's girl. He looks like a Killian's girl.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Being a douchebag next to
boobs that aren't real.
And here are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Just look that douche's queer...
 

@Adolf, 3:37 p.m. -

So DJ Bello (ahem) "works with" (cough) Clay Aiken? (And who didn't already know that?????)
 

I heard DJ Bello is gonna do a real remix for George Michael.




True story.
 

It is sad-- but, laugh, Paglidouchi, laugh.

Yes, it is sad that he wears more eyeliner than her. Yes, it is sad that she lacks a waist and is gonna be all jello like in a coupla years. Yes, it is sad is that he borrowed *Link's* mandana (this is why he seems familiar, hmm?). Yes, it is sad is that his hair looks like poo colored chives.

But what is really funny is that he's wearing his wristwatch over his terrycloth wristsweatband that matches his shirt.

We all have those, right? The matching wristband/shirt ensemble?



--VS
 

@vinny -

And don't forget the benwah bling around his neck - that also matches (until he, ummmmm, uses them).....
 

Don't the girls all get prettier at closing time
They all start looking like movie staaaaaars...

... Ahem, sorry , Dude,.......

Damn Mickey Gilley
 

@don't wheeze...

indeed. But, maybe after used, as well, depending on the amount of green beer ingested.
 

wow. so painful to look at..... it's just... i'm speechless.
 

Nice to see some truly hott chicks gracing the site again.
 

Just woke up, still feel like shite.

Might be food poisoning from the place DJ Bello is a waiter at. I should of known better than to eat where that fucher waits tables.

My first hint? The MENU:

Pocket Perch
Slack Snake
Trouser Trout
Filet of 'Roids
Chocolate Covered Crotch Crickets
Man Muff Burger, order of Thighs

My second hint? The mood music:
The band played the Male Organ, Skin Flute, Butt Trumpet, and the BAG-Pipes.

I'm going back to bed. Fuck you Bello!

- Adolf
 

She is truly delicioso!
He is simply doucheorific!
Nuff said.....
 

If I was a cat, I'd scratch his eyes out for mascara ineptitude, Since I'm a dog, I'm gonna raise my big leg and pee on them both, then sit back and have another Killian's.
 

Clowns are usually sinister and evil.
This one is only nauseating.
 

Kudos, Mr. White, for takin' one of my fave tunes and bein' funnee!
 

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I submit that this is a sad, sad waste of male pulchritude.

Join me, won't you, in giving this guy an imaginary makeover: remove the eye makeup; untie the mandana (and immediately incinerate, along with the rest of his outfit); wash the gunk out of the "poo-chives," give them a trim, and shave the facial pubes while you're at it.

And what do we have left? An actually handsome guy. He's really under there. Why would anyone squandered natural good looks by douching himself out like this?

Perhaps as a child he stumbled upon a maternal douche kit stuffed under the bathroom sink (haven't we all?); but he was a sensitive lad, and what was merely disturbing for others traumatized him for ever after, "Three Faces of Eve" style. Maybe this picture documents one of his breakdowns--something that happens whenever he overhears the words "fresh feeling" or "summer's eve." He hits the Wet n' Wild hard, throws on some "show us your tits" beads from Mardi Gras long past, then starts practising gang signs in front of the bathroom mirror and calling himself "Broseph."

I hope the woman with him is dragging him off to an intervention, or a DeDouche clinic.

Mi Douche Es Su Douche
 

sad clown makes good beer shirt sad.
 

Looks to me like the sad clown has a lot to be happy about.

But then I am the kind of man who sees the good in shamelessly ogling silicone blonds.
 

what not to wear, the douche-bleeth edition
 

why so serious douche
 

He looks so awful, I might have to boycott Killians. She looks so delicious, I might have to forget I boycotted Killians.
 

It's the douchebag ghost of David Foster Wallace!
 

Aiy Yie! Anon @ 12:04

GuaranTEED that reference flew over everyone's head.

I recently picked up Infinite Jest to read for the second time last month (I read it in 1998) . I get 100 pages into it and he offs himself.


WTF was that about?
 

I feel like I've seen this honey somewhere before. Lovely boobies. That dude really does look like a clown. A douchey clown.
 

this guy is like the aging douche... when I grow up I want to be just like daddy douche! Is he in his 40's?