Thursday, October 16, 2008
Crawdaddy
To achieve the perfect pinnacle of faux is not an easy task, thought Crawdaddy to himself.
And so he pouted.
Not even a classy Smirnoff Ice, giving the middle finger to the camera, nor the rubbings of Kimmy, Kelly and Kathy, could cheer him up. For his Faux was not yet perfect.
But someday it would be. By Ganesh, he swore it. And so it would be done.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:42 AM 
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32 YEAR OLD HINDU UNDERGRAD WITH GUYLINER, OPAL EARINGS, TAT T-SHIRT AND ZIMA GAYBERRY LOVES TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE FRESHMAN BITCHES
# posted by 
: 7:54 AM
: 7:54 AM
The one on the left looks like my wife. Matter of fact, where is she?
If she comes home with feathers all over her....
ASvB
If she comes home with feathers all over her....
ASvB
Is he pulling that girl's hair? Who does he think he is? And yes, I agree, those girls are clearly pre-pubescent 15-year-olds. Are these the only types of girls who will bone douches?
# posted by : 8:07 AM
: 8:07 AM
I would say that Crawdaddy is without question a gaydaddy, however I see a middle finger perching up on the right side. Is that part of the claw of the craw therefore pulling him back into hetero doucheville?
# posted by : 8:21 AM
: 8:21 AM
is it just me, or does it look like the girl in the back has 2 fingers up his ass? because she has a look of perverted triumph on her face, he has a look of victimized acceptance.
# posted by : 8:29 AM
: 8:29 AM
DB1 you're slipping. that ain't smirnoff ice. that's smirnoff TWIST!
RAZZBERRY TWIST! if i am correct.
(Also, i wasn't vigorously correcting you. the bottle says "RAZZBERRY TWIST!")
RAZZBERRY TWIST! if i am correct.
(Also, i wasn't vigorously correcting you. the bottle says "RAZZBERRY TWIST!")
man this bag is vile.
I think Kimmy on the left can be saved, but the other bleethettes are long gone.
Kimmy might need to get hosed down like an anthrax investigating CDC member similar to the Residual Axe experiment.
I think Kimmy on the left can be saved, but the other bleethettes are long gone.
Kimmy might need to get hosed down like an anthrax investigating CDC member similar to the Residual Axe experiment.
Either he’s got hands the size of a toddler, or the blonde bleeth has an arm the length of a garden hose. In the end, we all lose for having witnessed this debacle.
That hott in the back straining to get her and her douche-face into the pic almost needs a boot to the forehead as much as Crawdaddy does.
Yet I'd still like to suckle her navel nightly. Weird.
AV
Yet I'd still like to suckle her navel nightly. Weird.
AV
# posted by : 9:18 AM
: 9:18 AM
Resigned to another typical night, Carrie bit her tongue and proceeded to compete with the other girls on who could drive her fist inside the deepest, as Larry sullenly sipped his raspberry Smirnoff.
I look at this fuck nut and think scorpion as in squashed on the bottom of my boot
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 9:27 AM
: 9:27 AM
nothing like the flavored Smirnoff to get the freshman twitterpated in the dorms. Back in my day the ladies preferred liquids were Boone's Farm and Cisco. Boy have times changed...
christ, look at how small his hands are. so dainty and carny-like, with stubby little fingers. somewhere a state fair is missing it's tilt-o-whirl guy.
Do twatbags like this flip off the camera because they somehow, deep in the recesses of their choad brains, know they've been recorded for posterity?
"Yeah, yeah, I know my hair looks like the end of a turd and that's why I smell like poo. It's popular to do now and I'm just a trendoid putz. Fuck off."
At least he's an equal opportunity douchebag. But he's still a douchebag.
"Yeah, yeah, I know my hair looks like the end of a turd and that's why I smell like poo. It's popular to do now and I'm just a trendoid putz. Fuck off."
At least he's an equal opportunity douchebag. But he's still a douchebag.
I didn't know that Lee Corso's son drank drinks girl drinks and parties with underaged high school girls?
# posted by : 10:56 AM
: 10:56 AM
This douche has a face that no one could ever love, not even his own mother. My soul weeps.
Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
# posted by : 11:26 AM
: 11:26 AM
...suddenly from behind him, a crazed underaged dildo-wearing schoolgirl ran up behind Crawdaddy and began to violate his balloon-knot, thus wiping that smirk off his face. However, his guyliner remained intact.
# posted by : 11:34 AM
: 11:34 AM
If Howard Carter knew what would become of his discovery he would have left Tutankhamunbag buried for all time.
As little Kimmy rubbed the bottle of Smirnoff Razz that she found, out popped a genie. I shall call you Crawdaddy she thought to herself.
The blue eyed brunette bundle of hotness is my new obsession. For the love of all that's unholy and impure, get more photos of the one I shall call, Viagra.
# posted by : 1:16 PM
: 1:16 PM
I want to know what 80-year-old golf playing koot did this twat rob for that shirt just so he could cut off the collar and parade around in his doucheness?
Please excuse me while I retch...
Please excuse me while I retch...
# posted by : 3:13 PM
: 3:13 PM
Mr. Spears and a few of his junior varsity cheerleaders had a great time just hanging out at the state finals in Dubuque.
# posted by : 3:25 PM
: 3:25 PM
Smirnoff Twist + Poor eyebrow sculpting + poor fauxhawk sculpting + lack of hott acknowledgment = third place in the weekly.
Personally I like the little twistees on his temple, shellacked no doubt with hairspray.
He needs to crawl right back under that rock he skittered from when Brunette Delight was playing in the polluted little stream that flowed behind her parents' home. DUH, like I NEVER saw a crawdad that diseased in all my years of poking around on river's edges. and believe me, I've poked around.
He needs to crawl right back under that rock he skittered from when Brunette Delight was playing in the polluted little stream that flowed behind her parents' home. DUH, like I NEVER saw a crawdad that diseased in all my years of poking around on river's edges. and believe me, I've poked around.
# posted by : 6:19 PM
: 6:19 PM
embarrassingly, i know the blondie.... this must be england?... she was an oxford chick ages ago - think they are nidging 18-19, maybe 20.... looks like she is in her 'guys in indy bands are hot, irrespective of the fact they have 4 friends and play to an audience of 6 on a sunday night down at the local bingo hall' ... charlie - if you read this - get in touch - we have unfinished business..
that is the stupidest fucking haircut I have ever seen. I mean... look in the mirror asshole...step back for one moment...one fucking moment and evaluate your life right before you slop another big slimy wad of hair gel in there and fucking look at yourself
AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!! ASSHOLE! YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!!
those girls fucking love it!!!! WHY! THEY ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!! AAAAARRRRGGGGRRRR (GNASHING OF TEETH)
AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!! ASSHOLE! YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!!
those girls fucking love it!!!! WHY! THEY ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!! AAAAARRRRGGGGRRRR (GNASHING OF TEETH)
# posted by : 11:13 PM
: 11:13 PM
Okay, I'm looking at these fauxhawks and the proboscises of the choads that wear them. I think the faux might be some sort of unfortunate attempt here to balance the size of the hair with the size of the nose. Ned from the Flame Twins comes to mind.
Oh, who am I kidding. Here's the fauxhawk equation equation: The size of the peen (P) is inversely proportional to the size and lift of the hawk (H).
Oh, who am I kidding. Here's the fauxhawk equation equation: The size of the peen (P) is inversely proportional to the size and lift of the hawk (H).
Holy crap, the neck craning hovertongue bleeth really balances the frame and by balances I mean bwahHAH *pah* fluid ejecta on my monitor thanks ever so much.
Renaissance paintings were said to position the primary elements in a triangular manner, so as to evoke the Trinity.
This photograph strives for the same balance, and yet evokes Douchebomination.
Ain't that somethin'?
--VS
Renaissance paintings were said to position the primary elements in a triangular manner, so as to evoke the Trinity.
This photograph strives for the same balance, and yet evokes Douchebomination.
Ain't that somethin'?
--VS
# posted by : 8:27 PM
: 8:27 PM
Bloody fucking hell. I wish I was dead so I could never see this image in my head again.
# posted by : 2:51 PM
: 2:51 PM
HEY!!! my friend sent me this link because i am the brunette on the left! this pic is hilarious and i cant even say that i am friends with the guy in this pic...random pic from a random party. I love all the comments and i cant believe my pic is on this website! haha
# posted by : 7:59 PM
: 7:59 PM
anon 7:59, you need a baghunter name and should tag all the doucheclowns at your local school.
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# posted by : 8:02 PM
: 8:02 PM << Home
